Lily is sitting in the courtyard, relaxing and nibbling on some treacle tarts. At long last – the O.W.L.s are over and she can breathe a little easier. Weeks and weeks of cramming, late nights spent sleeping with her books more intimately that should be socially acceptable, and hours dedicated to reciting informational text word-for-word into a mirror between classes.
The boys had invited her along for drinks at The Three Broomsticks, but she declined. Lily has been planning this evening for months with Severus. As soon as their tests finished, they would star gaze and eat their favorite sweet treats underneath the night sky. He'll be coming around shortly, she's sure of it, as the sun is nearly set completely.
Drawing in a deep breath, Lily lets her lids close over her green eyes. Everyone compliments them. Severus, in particular, finds them to be mesmerizing. He's told her a dozen or so times. She used to laugh at the compliments, the ones about how lovely she looks or how magnificent he thinks she is, but she's found herself blushing at these kind words lately. Her friendship to Severus is one of the most meaningful aspects of her life.
That's why she's been pushing and pushing for Severus to reconsider his hateful ways, to let go of his stereotypical Slytherin traits. They were, after all, learned behaviors. "Don't be their friends," Lily had pleaded only a week ago when she heard that Severus was in detention for hexing a first year for running into him in the halls. That wasn't the boy she's known for years. That is not the friend she's started to see differently.
But differently how?
When her eyes peel back open, trying to erase the worried thoughts from her mind, a rainfall of red petals sink to the Earth. Surrounding her now is a shower of wood lilies, just like the ones James Potter showed her earlier this year. Severus was trying to grow them, probably for this exact moment. This sort of romantic act doesn't come from a place of misguided and misplaced love – it can't. Lily lets a soft smile fall over her lips. "Sev."
"Lily," he whispers, joining her on the bench. Nobody else is around to see his hand resting too close to hers. There's not a single soul to see Lily shiver at his proximity. With a racing heart and a quivering voice, Lily tries to start a conversation. "Where did you get these?"
A nervous laugh parts his lips; she hears the shaking just beneath his words. "I've been growing them. I've been trying, at least, though I had some help, I'm afraid."
From James, Lily thinks to herself in a silent drawl. Severus will never tell her. He will never admit that the boy he despises above all others is the one who fostered this very moment. James helped him to create this scenery of romance, this intimate exchange, and not one thanks will be given to him. Wanting to put it out of her mind, she curls her lips away from her teeth in a grin. "The thought is what matters," she offers comfort to her friend. He shifts next to her, even closer to her. It is comfortable. Reactively, she leans her head against his shoulder.
"Are you ready for the summer holiday?" The question hangs between them in some unfamiliar way, as if there's more he wants to say but he won't. Lily wonders what he wouldn't feel safe saying out loud to her. Even if she cannot admit it aloud, she knows there are plenty of things that it could be anymore.
She pushes against him harder. "I guess that depends on the scores I get. If they're awful, will it really be a summer holiday? I'll have to study so that I don't fail next year."
There's no actual sound, but Lily can practically hear Severus rolling his eyes. He is thinking about how she passed because she is brilliant, she is good at everything, and she is destined for great things. People dream of having friends this kind and uplifting; girls lay in bed at night hoping for someone to love them the way Severus loves her.
Lily turns her chin upwards. Severus' black hair tickles her nose and the peppery scent in his hair reminds her of the potions classroom and her kitchen at home. It makes her body soften, at peace with the strong fragrance of her father's favorite spice. What can she smell, though? Lily's curiosity is piqued.
Amortentia is a potion she's read about before, plus the girls always chatter about it in the common room all the time, though she hasn't thought of it in any significant capacity. Three scents waft from the mixture when properly done. Everyone will smell something different. Lily considers the very real possibility that she might get a hint of pepper if she were to smell it.
Severus doesn't wear cologne. Some of the boys poke fun at him, namely Sirius as of late, about the musty dungeon stink that follows him around. Lily doesn't necessarily notice it, though he does smell like a damp cellar at times. She doesn't mind because it reminds her of rainy days spent playing card games in her bedroom – beating Severus at every game of poker they start up.
But Lily doesn't smell that now.
Instead she smells the wood lilies, fresh and earthy, riding the spring breeze into her nostrils. Lily can practically taste the rustled dust from the sidewalk that Severus stirred when joining her outside, the dry and chalky texture filling her nose. She smells her treacle tart, the grass, and the moisture building up in the air.
Lily can capture and identify every scent except the one that belongs to Severus. Her heart breaks a little. Severus would make a good boyfriend. She should love him.
She wants to love him.
"I won't be coming home straight away when school is over," Severus reveals, the air cracking under the cool tone he uses to speak. The boy speaking now is not her boy.
"Why?" her voice falls flat, her interest clearly absent.
Severus daringly places his hand over hers now. Instinctively, her fingers tangle themselves into his so that they're holding hands properly. They've never shied away from affection in this manner, but it means something new. It feels new, at least. Lily assumes it must mean her feelings for Severus are changing.
Resting his head against hers, something tightens in both of their bodies. "You won't like the reason if I tell you."
Lily sits up, making it seem as natural as possible. It shakes Severus off her, letting her jolt herself out of the easy place of being at his side. If she won't like it, then why is he doing it? "Are the Slytherins having a meeting again?"
Severus doesn't say anything. And his reply never comes…
Lily knows that she is right. She wants to ask him not to go. They've argued about these unofficial house meetings – usually off Hogwarts' grounds, no less – and it ends the same every single time. Lily leaves, they don't talk for days or weeks, and then they carry on as if nothing happened.
Maybe she was being naïve, or arrogant, thinking that Severus would see the error in his ways. The mania of status has been consuming him; the sickness of superiority tainting his mind. This is not her Severus. It can't be.
"Did you bring the jelly beans?" Lily asks, a falsely hopeful tone taking over her voice. They were going to feed the beans blindly, guessing which is which and keeping score. Whoever raked in the fewest points had to pay on their next visit to Honeydukes. Just this morning the idea sounded perfect. It was precisely what she needed, what she wanted even. Now?
Lily wasn't so sure.
"Yes," Severus said, enthusiasm truer in him than Lily wanted. "I could never let you down. This is what we've been waiting for all year!"
Yes, she thought, it was…
A/N: I decided to make this story a multi-chapter piece, which means I have a plan! As it currently stands, I have three more chapters outlined. Each chapter should be about 1200-1500 words, so about what these two have been so far. I hope that you will enjoy it as the story grows.
