Mayonnaise
"So then we can do the Idiot farm girl bit after the bit with Gibby and the tomato," Carly said, jotting her notes for the next iCarly down on her PearPad. "And then we can see if Freddie can edit our new fake movie trailer. You know where he is, anyway?"
"He had to stay after school for something with AV club," Sam explained.
"Hey you guys!" Spencer called from the kitchen. "On your next iCarly, can I show the viewers my new toe massager?"
"You bought a toe massager?" Carly frowned.
"Yeah, you know, because I'm always on my feet," Spencer said.
"You're never on your feet," Sam said.
"Um, I'm standing right now, aren't I?" Spencer retorted. "So ha!"
"You're only standing to make a sandwich," Carly said, rolling her eyes. "You're going to add two extra layers of mayonnaise and then take it and go lay in your bed and watch all the Dancing with Congressmen episodes you have on the DVR."
"I'm gonna walk to my bed," Spencer muttered.
"Anyway," Carly chuckled as Spencer headed into his bedroom. "Freddie finished up the editing on our new Super Bra bit last night."
"I thought he wasn't gonna do that until today," Sam said.
"Yeah, but he ended up coming back over here last night after you left," Carly explained. "Here, look at it. I think he did a pretty good job on it."
She passed Sam the PearPad where the video was playing. Sam watched as her boyfriend, who was playing an innocent candy bar salesman, got beaten up by Gibby, who was dressed up like a witch, only to be saved by Super Bra.
"Hey, this is pretty good," Sam smiled, laughing.
"I know, right," Carly said, moving closer to her best friend so she could watch with her. "Aw, and doesn't Freddie look so cute in those geeky fake nerd glasses?"
"Um, sure," Sam nodded, giving Carly a strange look.
"Knock, knock," Freddie said, letting himself in. "What goes on?"
"We're just going over some iCarly stuff," Carly replied as Freddie sat down next to Sam, and the couple exchanged a quick kiss.
"The Super Bra bit looks good, baby," Sam told him.
"Thanks, Cuteness," Freddie smiled at her. Then he turned to Carly. "Oh, and you know how you were telling me last night how your laptop was starting to slow down when you browsed the web and stuff?"
"Yeah," Carly nodded.
"Well," Freddie said, opening up his backpack. "I pulled a few strings in AV club and got you this." He tossed her a disk. "It's the latest software update for Pearbooks. It should speed up your computer."
"Oh my God, thanks!" Carly grinned, getting up to hug Freddie.
"Eh, it's no problem," Freddie told her.
"So, um, how was AV club?" Sam asked Freddie.
"Fun," Freddie said. "Oh! And guess what? Some kid in there had reservation for Petrozini's tonight with a date, but then his date left him for a soccer player, so he asked me if I wanted to use his reservations. You up for a fancy pants dinner tonight?"
"Um, shoosh yeah," Sam said.
"But we have to edit the rest of the iCarly bits for tomorrow night," Carly reminded them.
"Oh…yeah," Freddie sighed.
"Can't you call the restaurant and ask them to move your reservation to tomorrow or something?" Carly asked.
"Nah, they're booked through the next month," Freddie replied. "But maybe if I give them a tip or something-"
"Hey, um, you-you don't have to do that," Sam said quickly. "We can just order pizza here."
"You sure, Sam?" Freddie asked.
"Yeah," Sam smiled, giving him a quick peck.
"Sorry, if I knew how to edit the videos, I wouldn't hold you guys up," Carly told the couple. "But it's just that the show's tomorrow, and we need to get everything done tonight."
"It's cool," Freddie told her.
"Yeah," Sam mumbled. "Real cool."
…..
"And so then," Gibby told Sam as the two sat at the Groovy Smoothie the next day. "My cat wouldn't even look at me. Talk about rude, right? I mean, just because it's his cat food, doesn't mean I can't have a taste now and then."
"Wow, you have a buttload of problems," Sam said, rolling her eyes and sipping her Mango Kiwi punch smoothie.
"It's my cat's fault!" Gibby defended. He sipped the last of his smoothie. "Hey, should we buy Carly a Strawberry Splat? T-Bo's selling them for half-price, and they're her favorite."
"No," Sam said at once.
Gibby gave her a strange look.
"I mean, jeez, can't we go one day without visiting Carly?" Sam snapped.
"Don't you practically live at her place?" Gibby frowned. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"
"No," Sam sighed. "Not exactly…it's just that lately I think that she's been a little…weird."
"Weird how?" Gibby asked.
"I dunno," Sam mumbled. "It's whenever Freddie's around. I mean I know they're best friends and all, but the past few weeks she's sort of been…friendlier. Like she hugs way, way more than she ever has. She compliments his appearance a lot, and yesterday she totally screwed up Freddie and mine's date we were gonna go on."
"Wow, sounds like someone likes Freddie," Gibby said.
"Of course she likes Freddie, you moron," Sam said. "They're friends."
"Not that like…" Gibby said. "Like like. You know, like how the male beavers like the female beavers on the Nature Channel."
Sam frowned. "That's crazy, Gib. Carly's my best friend. She wouldn't be crushing on my boyfriend."
Gibby shrugged. "Just putting it out there…Hey, can you look at this thing on my back? I say it's a rash, but Guppy says it's more of a scab."
"And I'm out of here," Sam said, getting to her feet.
….
For the rest of the day, Sam tried to get Gibby's words out of her head. Carly was practically her sister; she wouldn't be trying to woo over her boyfriend.
But the more Sam tried to convince herself of that, the more the facts seemed to make sense.
Finally, unable to take it anymore, Sam left for Bushwell Plaza. When she got to Carly's apartment, she let herself in, only to find Spencer buffing his toenails.
"I-um-" Spencer said, looking embarrassed. "Lot's-Lot's of guys do this."
"Yeah, sure," Sam said. "Where's Carly?"
"Up in her room," Spencer replied.
Sam hurried up the stairs and into her best friend's room.
"Oh, hey Sam," Carly smiled, looking up from the homework she was doing. "You're early. iCarly doesn't start for another hour and a half."
"I know," Sam said. "But um…can we talk really quick?"
"Sure," Carly said, closing her textbook. "What's up?"
"Well, um," Sam began. "Lately-Lately it seems like-"
"Oh wait, I want to show you something really quick," Carly said, heading to her closet. She got a bag and pulled out a Galaxy Wars t-shirt. "I got it for Freddie at the mall today. You know, as a thank you for that software update he gave me yesterday. It was really a lifesaver, I don't know how much more of my computer's lagging I could've taken."
"Do you like Freddie?" Sam blurted out.
"Huh?" Carly frowned.
"Don't make me say it again," Sam mumbled, sitting down on Carly's ice cream loveseat.
"Do you mean like like him?" Carly asked.
"Yeah," Sam sighed.
"Sam, you're my best friend!" Carly said. "Of course I'm not going after your boyfriend. Besides, Freddie and me? Gross. He's like another brother to me."
"Well then why have you been acting so…overly nice around him lately?" Sam asked.
"I haven't been!" Carly said.
"Oh come on, Carls," Sam said. "It's like you hug him every ten minutes when we're hanging out together, a couple days ago you told him how good he looked in some lame polo shirt he was wearing, and now you bough him a present?"
Carly was silent.
"Carls," Sam sighed. "I know Freddie's like, one of your best friends, and I don't want you to stop being friends with him at all just because we're dating…but even you have to admit you've been sort of…you know."
Carly sat down. "Wow…you-you're right."
"So you do like Freddie?" Sam asked nervously.
"No," Carly said at once. "Sam, I know I've been acting sort of…too nice around Freddie, but I seriously don't have any sort of romantic feelings towards him. I swear."
"But then why have you been acting like you have?" Sam asked.
"I dunno," Carly sighed. "Maybe…maybe it's just because I haven't had a boyfriend in months. I think I've just been sort of, you know, lonely."
"Lonely?" Sam repeated.
"Yeah," Carly said. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm so happy you have Freddie now, he's an awesome boyfriend, but it's just kind of sad watching you guys be all happy and in love while I spend my nights watching Getflix and eating ice cream."
"Aw, Carls," Sam laughed. "That's crazy! You could get any guy at school."
"But most of them are jerks or weirdos," Carly mumbled.
"Yeah, that's true," Sam said. She got to her feet. "Hey, when I was down at the Groovy Smoothie with Gibby earlier, I saw a few cute guys who looked nice. We have some time before we gotta do iCarly…wanna go see if they're still there?"
"Sam Puckett," Carly laughed. "Are you trying to hook me up? I thought I was the matchmaker of the group."
"Well consider it payment for all the guys you've tried to hook me up with over the years," Sam smiled. "Now do you wanna go try and find a boy or not?"
"Let me just put on some sparkly lip gloss first," Carly said.
