What About Us?

Chapter Three

Kiss You Slow

When Liv arrived at her office the next morning there was another message from him waiting in her inbox.

Dear Liv,

I can settle for pissed off and proud as long as I know that there is still a chance for us. My hope is that over the next few months I will make you more proud than pissed off. Although I suspect that working with Stone will continue to add points to the pissed off column. I guess that I will have to work that much harder to make you proud. As far as missing me, well let me address that in a separate letter later tonight when you aren't at work. Just know I promise to make these months count. Check back after you have Noah in bed tonight, maybe after you are in bed yourself.

Always Yours,

Rafa

Olivia felt herself bite down on her lip wondering what he had in mind. Her mind traveled back to that night in his bed and the way her body had come alive with his touch. She could almost feel his hands and mouth against her skin. She shook her head remembering where she was and the work to be done. She quickly hit reply and type one word before hitting send.

Tease

If his goal had been to put a smile on her face for the rest of the day he had achieved it. She found a comfort and familiarity in the slight tension and tease that had always been part of their relationship. It was enough to get her through seeing Stone in Rafael's former office for the first time. A few days before it would have been too much for her but he felt closer now and that gave her strength.

After her meeting with Stone she decided to take the rest of the afternoon off, she picked Noah up from school and they spent the afternoon at the park.

"Mommy, can we eat at the noodle place?' Noah asked her as they walked home as it was getting close to dinner time.

Liv smiled, "Rafa's noodle place? I think that sounds like a great idea." She told him as they changed directions walking towards the restaurant he had introduced them too a few months earlier.

It was one of those places where you could build your own noodle bowl and Noah absolutely loved it. He ordered his usual "fat noodles" with butter and cheese. Olivia stared at the menu for a moment suddenly faced with a dilemma. She always ordered a bowl with peanut-ginger sauce and Rafael always ordered the Thai steak bowl and they would share. Her eyes ran back and forth between the two as the man behind the counter began to grow impatient. She felt that familiar pain of missing him begin to creep in and she quickly shook her head and smiled before ordering.

"I'll have the peanut-ginger bowl and the Thai steak bowl please." She requested ignoring the puzzled look from the man behind the counter.

As they settled at a table Noah looked at her expectantly, "Is Rafa back? Is that why you ordered his bowl too?"

Olivia sighed a little as she ran her hand through her son's hair, "No My Love, but when you miss someone you can try and ignore everything that reminds you of them so it won't hurt, but when you do that you don't get to remember how good it felt to be together. Coming here, ordering both bowl reminds me of how good it felt to eat here with Rafa."

"Can we take a picture of us here and send it to him?" He asked her. "At least we can come here and remember him, he doesn't have any places in Turkey to remember us."

Oliva hugged Noah, "You are a very smart boy Noah Benson." She told him as she picked up her phone and snapped several pictures of them over their noodle bowls.

"Can we talk to Rafa sometime Mommy?' Noah asked her as she tucked him into bed that night.

"We can probably work that out, you go to sleep and I'll see what we can do." She told him with a kiss.

After leaving his room she changed into her nightshirt and crawled into bed with her laptop. She was surprised when she opened his email to see no letter but a video attached, she held her breath as it loaded and slowly exhaled at the sight of him. He was standing in what appeared to be a rec hall of some sort, with a makeshift basketball court and some toys thrown about.

"Hi Liv, I'm here. Well not there with you here in what serves as our rec hall slash counseling center slash legal offices. It's late here and pretty much everyone is asleep but you know I'm a night owl and like to work late. Anyway, I want you to know I hear you about how missing me. God I miss you Liv, every single thing about you. But like you said it was my choice to leave and you didn't really get a choice. Like I said earlier though I'm going to make these months count and I when I get back to you I'm going to make this time up to you. So that being said I have something for you."

Liv watched as he walked over to a keyboard set up in a corner, he placed his phone on stand and sat down and began to play, then he began to sing.

I know you didn't think that loving me meant so much time alone

Dinner for one on the couch, another movie on your own

You know that I'm never gonna be a nine to five, that was never me

I was born with a compass in my hand and a restless soul

But when it hurts, when you can't take it

And when the rubber band feels like it's breaking

Hear the kick drum, that's my heart right there

Let the melody run its fingers through your hair

And my piano will kiss you slow tonight

And my vocals tickle your ear

And you almost can feel me here

And my piano will kiss you slow tonight….

Yeah, oh, let me be your

Be your second home for a while

Home, all you've ever known

So baby listen close for me inside

He turned back to the phone as finished singing, "I love you Liv, get some sleep, I'm not as away as it feels like. "

Olivia felt the tears falling from her eyes as she listened to his words and traced his face on the computer screen. She placed the laptop on her nightstand and hit the video again allowing the sound of his voice to lull her to sleep.

She awoke the next morning realizing she had not replied to his message and quickly reached for her phone clicking on the pictures of her and Noah the night before at dinner.

My Rafael,

Noah and I went to the noodle place last night and it was the best night we'd had in a long time. I got both of our bowls it made me feel closer to you. I've decided you are right I am not going to waste these months either. I'm going to let myself fall a little more in love with you with every message that you send me, I'm going to cry when I miss you and smile when I remember how good things are when we are together. No more avoiding thoughts of you, because that would be the same as avoiding breathing.

All My Love,

Liv

P.S. Noah wants to talk to you let's figure out a time to Skype.

She dropped Noah at school that morning and paused for a minute before turning and walking her old way to work, stopping at their coffee cart.

"Lieutenant Benson!" The man greeted her warmly, "How are you? Have you heard from Mr. Barba?"

Olivia smiled, "I'm doing well, and yes he is too. He will be home in a few months. I'll see you tomorrow." She told him with a smile before walking to the precinct,

TBC

Song lyrics by Andy Grammer