What about US?
Chapter Five
Waiting
How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kinda life would that be
Oh I need you in my arms, need you to hold
You are my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away
Everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live
LeAnn Rimes
"Don't turn the TV on Liv it will it will just make it worse." Amanda had told her when she called her after the explosion but of course she could not help herself. She sat glued to CNN waiting for any sign of him. She learned quickly enough that it had been an earthquake that had caused a massive power outage across the region where he was. The explosion she saw was most likely a transformer blowing.
She waited throughout the night for any word from him but nothing came. She tried to fight off thoughts of the worst, imagining a life without him. The next morning she did her best to brush off Noah's questions about Rafa. Telling him that he was still traveling. She called in sick to work because she could not handle the worried looks that she knew would be waiting for her. She found herself walking aimlessly for a while checking her phone for any word from him. When a sudden thought stopped her in her tracks.
"Lucia" she said out loud pulling her phone from her purse. Rafael had made sure she had his mother's number before he left in case anything happened. She took a deep breath as she called her number.
"Mrs. Barba?" She asked her voice shaking slightly. "This is Oliva Benson…"
"Lieutenant, have you heard from Rafael?" She asked franticly.
Olivia sighed, "No, I'm sorry, I haven't. I was on with him last night when they lost power, but nothing since." There was silence on the other end of the phone. Olivia tried to put herself in the older woman's place. How would she be doing if Noah was half way around the world and she didn't know if he was all right? Olivia knew that Lucia's and Rafael's relationship was strained since the trial and that could not be helping how she was feeling.
"If you do hear from him, will you tell him I love him?" Lucia asked and Olivia could hear her voice crack.
"Mrs. Barba would you like to come over to my place? We could wait for word from him together." Olivia offered.
"I would like that very much Lieutenant Benson." Lucia replied gratefully.
"Ok, I will text you my address, and please call me Olivia." She told her.
"Thank you Olivia, and call me Lucia." She replied.
Oliva hung up the phone and sent Lucia her address, as she turned the corner to her building it dawned on her she had just invited her baby's grandmother to her apartment. She place her hand on her still flat stomach and smiled half way for the first time that day.
"Well Little One, I guess Grandma is coming over." She said quietly.
An hour later they were sitting somewhat awkwardly across Olivia's table each with a cup of coffee before them.
"I was so horrible to him, after what he did. I was so angry at him. I still am." Lucia confessed breaking the silence.
"I said some pretty awful things too, and was angry for a long time, especially when he left." Olivia told her in agreement.
"But you were there for him, every day during the trial, he told me that." Lucia said with tears in her eyes, "I was just so angry. Then we he decided to leave I was too stubborn to see him off properly."
Olivia reached across the table and took Lucia's hand, "Lucia, Rafael knows that you love him and he knows that his actions caused a lot of pain for the people who love him."
"I am glad he found someone like you Olivia." Lucia said patting her hand. Olivia shifted uncertain what all Rafael had told his mother. "It's all right, a mother knows things before her son tells her, sometimes before he even knows them himself. He told me before he left though he wants a future with you and Noah."
Olivia smiled, "That's what we want too." She whispered the pain of worry and longing washing over her just as she heard the front door open.
"Mommy were home! Me and Lucy, did Rafa call?" Noah called down the hallway stopping when he noticed someone new at their table.
"Noah, this is Mrs. Barba, Rafa's mom. She came over for coffee." Olivia introduced the two.
"Hi, Noah, Rafael had told me so much about you. Call me Lucia, I hear you like soccer?" Lucia said with genuine warmth.
"You want to see my trophies? " Noah asked taking her hand and guiding her down the hall with excitement. "When Rafa comes home he's going to help coach my team."
Olivia sank back in her chair exhaustion washing over her body. She heard them coming back to the room and she did her best to set herself back up.
"Olivia are you all right?" Lucia asked her.
Oliva shook her head, "I didn't get much sleep last night after.." she trailed off not wanting Noah to know that anything was wrong.
Lucia nodded her head, "I know Lucy had to leave but I could stay and play with Noah if you wanted to rest a bit." She offered.
Olivia hesitated only for a minute, "All right, if you don't mind." She said, "Just for a few minutes." She took her iPad with her to bed in case he tried to reach her that way, before falling asleep she clicked on the video of him singing and closed her eyes to the sound of his voice. She woke later to the sounds of laughter and an amazing smell coming from her apartment. She glanced at her clock and realized it was after six, she had slept for three hours.
"Lucia, Noah?" She called out and found them in the living room playing cards.
"Mommy, Lucia made chicken soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, and cookies" Noah told her excitedly.
"Did we have stuff to make all of those things?" Olivia asked.
Lucia waved her hand, "I hand them delivered, it's all right dear, it kept me busy. Are you hungry?"
Olivia shook her head trying to shake off the reaming sleep, "Some chicken soup sounds wonderful." She ate her soup while she watched Noah and Lucia play cards. She thought about the baby and wondered if she should tell Lucia but knew she could not tell her before she told Rafael. She refused to entertain any thought other than she would hear from him soon.
"Mommy? Do you think Rafa will call to read to me tonight?" Noah asked interrupting her thoughts.
"Probably not tonight Love." Olivia told him the sadness apparent in her voice.
"I could read to you if you like Noah." Lucia offered.
"Yes, please!" He exclaimed.
"Go get ready for bed then Noah." Oliva told him laughing as he dashed to his room.
"Thank you Lucia for staying it's been good for him to have you here." Olivia told her.
"It's been good for me to be here." Lucia said hugging her tightly.
"You can come back, if we are all missing Rafael we can at least do it together." Oliva said hugging her back.
Just then they heard Noah's voice as he came back into the room and heard him saying, "No it's ok Rafa you don't have to read to me tonight Lucia is going to."
"Noah, is it Rafa? Hand me the iPad!" Olivia exclaimed and Lucia held her breath in anticipation.
"Rafael!" Olivia yelled tears running down her face at the sight of him, "You are all right."
"Hi Beautiful, I'm fine, why is my mother there?" he asked in confusion.
"I called her thinking maybe she had heard from you. Then I invited her over. She was worried we both were." She explained tears falling again.
"It's all right Liv, I'm all right, nobody was hurt here the power is a little spotty still so it might be a little while before we can have normal communication. Are you all right?" He asked.
"I'm much better now." She told him honestly. "Here talk to your mom for a minute, she really needs to talk to you."
Olivia passed the iPad to Lucia and scooted Noah from the room so that they could talk privately. The conversation she needed to have with Rafael would have to wait until they had a moment alone. She got Noah settled in his bed before returning to the living room.
"I love you hijo, be safe." She heard Lucia saying, "Here's Olivia."
Olivia noticed the tears in her eyes s she took the iPad and excused herself to talk to Rafael.
"Everything all right?" She asked.
Rafael smiled, "Yes, we both needed to say a few things. Thank you for having her over Liv, I can tell it meant a lot to her."
"It meant a lot to me too Rafa. It made me feel closer to you." She told him as she heard people calling from behind him.
"I have to go Liv, I'm so sorry. Like I said communication might be spotty for a while. I'll do my best. I love you, please hug Noah for me and tell him every day that I love him and I miss him."
"I love you Rafa, so much." She told him as the signal on the tablet began to go, "Like your mother said, be safe and come home to us. We need you more than you know." She whispered as the screen went dark.
"We lost the signal." She told Lucia tears brimming in her eyes.
"It will be all right Olivia." She said pulling her into a tight hug, "Rafael loves you and that boy he's going to come home to you."
Olivia hugged her back then stepped back, "Lucia, I meant what I said earlier, Noah and I would love to see more of you, if you would like."
"I would love that Hija, anytime." Lucia told her with a smile. "Now I should let you get some sleep."
"Yes, it has been a long day." Olivia agreed walking Lucia to the door, "We'll see you soon Lucia. Maybe this weekend." She promised as they hugged one more time. Olivia rested against the front door after she closed it and placed her hand on her stomach.
"What did you think of Grandma Little One? I think I like her and your brother seems to also. I promise I will tell your daddy about you very soon Little One, I just want the time to be right. He's got a lot going on right now. Let's you and I get some sleep now, we've got to get back to work tomorrow." Olivia said out loud to the empty room before climbing into the bed to dream of Rafael.
TBC
