"I don't see him Mommy." Noah whined standing on his tiptoes trying to search the crowd.

"He'll be here soon, Love." Olivia reassured him her own anticipation growing.

"Pick me up so I can see." He begged. Olivia bent down and scooped him up even though she knew that she probably shouldn't. The little boy's entire world had been turned completely upside down the last few months and all he wanted was to see his Pappi. He wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her check.

"I'll always be your first baby." He whispered.

Olivia smiled and kissed the top of his head, "Always"

She thought back to the previous evening, they had just finished dinner when Noah said something that caught her completely off guard.

"I don't think I want Rafa and the baby to live with us. I think they should stay at Rafa's apartment and we can go to the park together on Saturdays." Noah told her.

Olivia looked at him in surprise, "Noah Rafa and the baby are going to live with us, we are going to be a family. Rafa wants to be your Pappi. I thought that's you wanted too."

"But you and I are already a family," He protested.

"Yes, but now we will be a bigger family." She explained.

"Well maybe Rafa could live with us and be my Pappi but the baby could live somewhere else." He offered.

Olivia smiled at him and carried him over to the couch understanding what he was thinking now.

"Noah you know that you are still my baby even when this baby comes right?" she asked him.

"But I'm not a baby anymore, I'm going to kindergarten, and …" He paused for a moment.

"And what?" Olivia asked him gently.

"And I was never your real baby like this baby is. I was never in your tummy Grandma Shelia said I was in Ellie's tummy." He said tears beginning to fall from his brown eyes. "What if you and Rafa love this new baby because it was in your tummy and you don't want me anymore?"

"Oh Noah, Rafa and I love you more every day. It doesn't matter that you were never in my tummy because you have always been in my heart. I can't wait to meet your brother or sister but you will always be my first baby." She did her best to reassure him.

"Always?" he asked her.

"Always" She told him again.

Rafael pushed his way impatiently through the crowd, spotting them before they saw him. He took a moment just to take them in. His son wrapped tightly in the arms of the woman he loved. Noah was whispering something in her ear and Olivia whispered something back as she smiled and kissed him. She was dressed in a long black sundress that hung over her stomach where their baby was growing. He was certain he had never seen a more beautiful sight.

He was shaken from his thoughts when he heard Noah squeal in delight, "Pappi!" as he climbed down from Olivia's arms and ran to him. Rafael quickly dropped to his knees and opened his arms.

"Hijo!" He said gathering the boy as close as he could. " te extrane."

"I missed you too Pappi."

Rafael balanced his carry-on bag and Noah as he stood as he made his way to Olivia. He stopped in front of her, set down his bag and shifted Noah to his side and placed a hand on the side of her face, "Hi, future Mrs. Barba."

"Hi" she barely got out before his lips were on hers and she threw her arms around his neck. Rafael pulled back as he felt a kick between himself and Olivia at first he thought it was Noah but his eyes grew big as he realized it was the baby. "Was that…?"

Olivia smiled as she reached out and took Noah from him, "Yes, Sweetheart, that's the baby."

He knelt down and put his hands on her stomach, "Pappi is home Little One, and I'm never leaving you, your brother or Mommy again." He promised.

He stood back up took Noah back and set him gently to the ground taking his hand in one and Liv's in the other, "Why don't you guys show me where I'm going to be living?"

BarsonBarsonBarsonBarson

Over the next few weeks before Rafael started at Columbia and Noah kindergarten they began to settle into a family life together. Oliva went to work and the boys would spend the day together going to the park, and the museum, and finishing unpacking things in the apartment.

"I was thinking Liv…" Rafael said one night as they were getting ready for bed, "I really want to finalize Noah's adoption before the baby gets here. In fact I would really like to do it before he starts school."

"Raf, he starts school next week." She pointed out.

"I know and I want him starting school as my son legally, I don't want there to be any problems." He explained. "Besides, what kid wants to change his last name half way through kindergarten?"

Olivia pulled him on the bed next to her and kissed him, "You really are the best father ever, you know that right? I'm not sure if we can get it finalized that quickly. "

"You let me worry about that, I have a few strings left that I can pull." He told her, "Now about that last name." He said as he placed kissed down her neck.

Olivia rolled her eyes, "If this is your attempt to change my mind it's not a very good one." She laughed.

Rafael propped himself up next to her brushing her hair back from her face, "I just don't want you to make a decision you're going to regret."

Olivia pulled him back for another kiss, "My Love, if I regret any of the decisions I'm making my last name is going to be the least of my worries. "

"We could hyphenate." He said not for the first time.

"That's too much for the kids." She said also not for the first time. "Why is it so hard for you to understand I am all right with being Mrs. Lieutenant Olivia Barba?"

"I don't want you to feel like you are giving anything up." He explained.

"Rafa, of course I am giving something up, we both are giving things up. I'm no expert but I think that's how marriage works. I want our family to have one last name and I want it to be Barba. Now could you please stop arguing with your pregnant fiancé? "

Rafael smiled down at her, "Is there something that my pregnant fiancé would prefer I do with her?"

"Let her sleep?" She laughed.

BarsonBarsonBarsonBarsonBarson

"I think I've changed my mind." Liv said tentatively from where she was studying her reflection in the mirror.

Rafael rolled his eyes assuming she was talking about her outfit, "Liv, you look great, and we have got to go."

"Not the outfit, the adoption and the wedding." She explained still looking at her reflection.

She could almost hear Raf choke back the words he wanted to say, finally coughed out, "Excuse me? We are due in the judge's chambers in an hour and now you are having second thoughts?"

"I guess I just realized that when we finalize the adoption Noah will officially be Noah Barba, then when the baby comes his or her last name will be Barba, I will be the only one left out." She tried to explain.

"Liv, Sweetheart, I'm sorry but I'm not following you. Are you saying you now want to wait and finalize the adoption after the wedding next spring?" He asked feeling his heart begin to break, wondering if this was her looking for a way out.

"No, Rafael look at me." She said a smile crossing her face. She watched as he looked her over trying to understand what she was saying. His face went from frustration, to confusion, then an uncertain smile took over as he gazed at the long, white lace sundress she was wearing.

"Liv, what are you saying?" He asked

"I'm saying I changed my mind, I want to get married today, in about an hour in fact." She explained

"But what about the big wedding, the church, doing things the right way?" He asked

"Being married to you as soon as possible is the right way." She told him as took his hands, "I want to get married today, if that's all right with you."

"Olivia Benson, almost Barba you drive me crazy in every way possible. Let's go get married and finalize an adoption. "He said before kissing her then pulling her by the hand out of the bedroom.

An hour later the three of them were standing in the crowded judge's chambers along with Lucia, Lucy, Fin, Carisi and Amanda.

"We are truly here today to join a family together, Olivia and Rafael do you have things you wish to say to each other?" The judge asked them. They both nodded and the judge motioned for Oliva to go first.

"Rafael, nobody has ever loved me the way that you do. You have stood by me through the worst days of my life, you have loved me enough to fight for me and to fight with me. I didn't want to let you love me and I didn't want to love you. Yet there you were breaking down all of my walls with your steadiness and strength, for the first time I didn't always have to be the strong one. You saw me at my worst and most vulnerable and you still kept coming back. Still I kept you at a safe distance until I realized I might lose you. I never want to lose you Rafael, I want to be loved the way that only you can love me for the rest of my life. I want to give you that same kind of love for the rest of your life." Olivia said as she fought back tears.

Rafael squeezed her hand, "Olivia, one conversation with you was all it took to turn my life completely upside down. I didn't know what to do with you but I could not stay away from you either. You took everything I thought I wanted and washed it away. You made me want to be a better man a man who cared about people first. I could see this vision you had for what the world should be and I wanted to share that vision with you, to help make it happen. When I almost cost us everything you showed up and refused to let go, then when I said I needed to go you didn't try and hold me back. Now you are standing here giving me a family. Olivia, every good thing I have or have ever done can be traced back to you. I promise to live everyday showing you how grateful I am for that."

"Do we have rings?" The judge asked.

"I have them!" Noah answered enthusiastically handing them to the judge the way Rafael had told him to.

They exchanged their rings repeating their vows after the judge never losing eye contact with each other. Rafael took Olivia's face in his hand kissing her tenderly when the judge said he could kiss the bride. He pronounced them husband and wife then and the tiny room erupted with applause.

"Now on to step to of joining this family." The judge laughed. He asked Rafael if he had anything he would like to say to Noah before he finalized the adoption. Rafael knelt down and looked Noah is the eye.

"Noah, you were the first baby that I ever held. I was scared to death and had no idea what I was doing. I was so afraid that I would hurt you. You had already been so much and I just wanted to help your mom keep you safe. The thought of being your dad still scares me sometimes because I still don't know what I am doing, but I know that I love you and there is nothing I won't do to make sure you grow up knowing you are loved." He promised his son.

Later that night after everyone had left the celebration and Noah was fast asleep Olivia and Rafael sat curled up on the couch together.

"Are you sure it was enough of a wedding for you?" Rafael asked.

"It was more than enough, Love. All though one thing did occur to me." She said explained.

"What's that?" He asked as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"We didn't get to dance."

Rafael stood up and offered her his hand while pulling up a song on his phone, then taking her into his arms. "Well I can fix that."

I found a love for me

Darling just dive right in

And follow my lead

Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet

I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was

I will not give you up this time

But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own

And in your eyes you're holding mine

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath

But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets

To carry love, to carry children of our own

We are still kids, but we're so in love

Fighting against all odds

I know we'll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I'll be your man

I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful

I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

"Is this all right?" He asked softly.

"It's perfect, everything is perfect." She answered as he rested her head on his shoulder.

TBC

Song lyrics by Ed Sheeran