Expert
"What's this?" Spencer asked, coming out of his bedroom to spot Carly lying in front of the T.V., flipping through channels. "Carly Shay spending her Saturday night alone?"
"Must you mock me?" Carly snapped.
"Okay, sorry," Spencer said. "But I thought you'd be hanging out with Sam and Freddie like you always do."
"Nah, they went on a date," Carly sighed.
"I thought they usually went out on Friday nights, after iCarly," Spencer said.
"Freddie's mom took him to get his ears cleaned out at this special doctors yesterday," Carly explained. "So they rescheduled." She looked at her phone. "It's almost midnight, though, so they should be back soon, and then Sam's gonna spend the night here."
Right on cue, Sam and Freddie walked in.
"Hey," Carly smiled at them. "Did you have fun on your date?"
"Yup," Freddie nodded. "We got dinner and then went to a movie."
"Yeah, it was…fun," Sam said.
"Did you see the movie about the talking watering can?" Spencer asked. "Because that looks like the perfect magical journey for people of all ages!"
"No," Freddie said, shaking his head at him.
"Doesn't the watering can wind up in a landfill at the end of that movie?" Carly said.
Spencer gasped. "You ruined it!"
"Anyway," Freddie said as Spencer fell down onto the couch next to Carly. "I should probably get home, otherwise my mom will organize a city-wide search for me again."
"Okay, bye," Carly said.
"Bye, baby," Sam said as Freddie leaned down to kiss her.
"Bye," Freddie grinned. "Love you."
"Love you too."
"Well, I think I'm gonna head to bed," Carly yawned, turning the T.V. off. "I'm pooped. Watching six straight hours of T.V. can really take it out of a girl."
"Um…actually, can I ask for your advice about something first?" Sam asked.
"Sure," Carly nodded. "What's up?"
"Hold on. Spencer! Leave!"
"Hey!" Spencer said indignantly. "This is my apartment. I will not be pushed out like-"
"We're gonna talk about girl stuff," Sam said.
"Well later then," Spencer said, hurrying to his feet and into his room.
"Ohh, girl stuff?" Carly said. "You want to willingly talk about girl stuff? This must be important."
"It is…sort of," Sam said.
"Okay then spill!" Carly told her.
"Alright…so you know how you're sort of a…relationship expert?" Sam asked.
"Sam, I just spent my Saturday night watching reruns of The Terrible Homemakers of Tennessee," Carly said. "I don't think I'm exactly an expert."
"Well, you're still good at all that flirting chiz, right?"
"Well I do know how to turn my flirt on," Carly laughed. "But what's that got to do with anything?"
"I…I was sort of hoping you could…help me in that department," Sam said awkwardly.
"What? Why?" Carly frowned. "You have a boyfriend already. Remember, Freddie?"
"I know," Sam moaned, leaning back on the couch. "But it just seems like lately, Freddie and I have been in a-a rut."
"A rut?" Carly repeated.
"Yeah, you know, kind of stuck," Sam said. "It's just like out relationship has become sort of…blah. I mean every week we get dinner and go see a movie, the nights his mom works late we'll sometimes, you know, make out, but…it's getting a little predictable."
"Gotcha," Carly nodded. "But I still don't know what you want my advice with?"
"Come on, just give me some of your Carly secrets," Sam said. "Tell me how to kind of….spice things up with Freddie."
"Oh," Carly said, somewhat surprised. "You mean like, make things a little less…blah?"
"Exactly," Sam said.
"Um, well," Carly said thoughtfully. "Maybe…maybe you can sort of surprise him one day. Next week when he comes to pick you up for your date night, be waiting for him with a romantic candle light dinner, and you can have some music playing in the background, oh, and make sure you wear something hot-"
"Wait, wait, wait," Sam said. "That's cool and all, Carls, but…that sort of brings up back to where we started. Fancy dinner. I love food and all, but still…"
"Well," Carly said slowly. "How about after your food, you…come here." She leaned down and whispered something in Sam's ear.
Sam's eyes widened.
"Carly Shay!" Sam laughed. "I am shocked. What would Spencer say if he just heard that?"
"Which is why I whispered!" Carly hissed. "Now shh! Before he does here you!"
"You really think that would work?" Sam asked skeptically.
"I've never done it myself," Carly admitted. "But you know I've seen more than my fair share of romantic movies; it always seems to work for those couples."
"Interesting," Sam said thoughtfully.
"So you gonna give it a try?" Carly asked.
"I dunno," Sam said. "I'll think about it."
….
The next Friday night, Carly was hanging out with Gibby, watching a horror movie that Spencer had borrowed from Socko.
"I don't get this movie," Gibby commented as Carly flinched at a particularly scary scene.
"What the heck's not to get?" she exclaimed. "The clown's going around possessing all the dolls in the city to attack the poodles!"
"But why don't the poodles just call the cops?" Gibby asked.
"What poodle knows how to use an phone?" Carly frowned.
"That's the first thing I taught my poodle to do," Gibby said.
"You had a poodle?"
"Yeah," Gibby nodded. "But then poor Noodles got involved with some telemarketers and ran away and never came back."
Carly gave him a strange look just as Sam burst into the room.
"Hey Sam," Carly said. "Wanna watch-"
"Gibby leave," Sam interrupted.
"Why?" Gibby demanded. "I want to watch this movie!"
"The clown get's beaten up by some mime," Sam told him.
"Well," Gibby said, standing up. "Thanks for ruining fifty-eight minutes of suspenseful build-up."
"Just get out of here!"
"Fine," Gibby mumbled.
"Why'd you kick Gibby out?" Carly asked as Gibby headed upstairs.
"Dude!" Sam said, throwing her arms around Carly. "Your little tip was amazing!"
"What tip?"
"You know, when last week you told me to-"
"Oh, right, right," Carly said. "Wait, so it really worked? I knew those chick flicks would come in handy some day!"
"Oh, it worked," Sam grinned. "It worked good…"
"Well I'm glad then," Carly chuckled. "So where's Freddie then?"
"Oh, he's still across the hall at his place," Sam said. "And I just sent a fake text to his mom saying that there was a tofu sale at Whole Edibles, so hopefully that will give us some more time…Seriously, Carls, Freddie loved it too. When he-"
"Hey, any other guy, I'd love to hear the details," Carly cut her off. "But I think if I hear about Freddie doing it…ugh. I don't think I could keep my dinner down."
Sam laughed. "Fair enough, kid. Well, I'm gonna go back with Freddie. But I'll come by here later tonight, okay?"
"Okay," Carly nodded. "Have fun with the rest of your date then."
"Oh I will," Sam grinned.
