Steven Universe Fanfiction

My Pearl

Chapter 15: Thine Days Long Past


January 1st of the Year 19xx, Blessed Be

It might seem terribly cliché but on this day of the New Year I begin my duties as Abbess of Saint Martin's Church. I worry that I might not be able to lead my sisters and congregation as well as my predecessor, bless her departed soul and may she be received in love and kindness at the pearly gates of Heaven unto the arms of our Lord. Still, I will strive to lead and guide them best as I can with wisdom, patience, and magnanimity.

In Kindness and In Peace,

Anna Von Braun

January 20th of the Year 19xx, Blessed Be

A fortuitous occasion has graced me for my sister Delilah and her family had come to visit; her husband and her newborn son whom they have named Derek. She seems quite happy and content bedecked in her jewels and finery and yet I can't help but worry that she is losing her way yet again. I used to chide her about such things but often she would retaliate by saying I could have done the same with my share of the inheritance our dearly departed parents left us with, bless their souls. I do not deny her this but I worry that she is so beguiled that she turns cold to her husband and son. I pray though that God will grace her with the empathy and epiphany that life is more than material.

But I digress for the blessing of family is expounded for they have asked me to baptize my new nephew. How could I refuse? The other nuns didn't seem to give me much choice either as they cooed over the darling boy but such are happy children whom are new and ever-curious about the world. He certainly seemed to enjoy the sprinkling of holy water on his forehead, even if it was nothing but play for him. When all was said and done, I had said farewell to my sister and her family with promises to visit and perhaps go on vacation together. All in all, a good day, I think.

In Kindness and In Peace,

Anna Von Braun

February 14th of the Year 19xx, Blessed Be

As much as I wish devote the day to Saint Valentine and his martyrdom, I believe I've lost most of my congregation and my fellow sisters to the more romantic aspect of the day. While indignant, it is of no consequence for we can resume proper services and lessons of his sacrifice the day after. Still, everyone seems so happy. I must admit to some revelry, when some of the other sisters and myself were asked by young men to be theirs in more ways than one. Such odd tastes; while flattering, we had to turn them down but those who haven't taken their vows yet are free to do so as I have counseled them so long as certain rules are followed.

Despite my misgivings though, I am glad to see love so celebrated and cherished. I often wondered what it would be like if I had been as more socially open and robust as my sister but such is in the past and I do not regret my choice to enter the faith nor the vows taken…even if the temptation should take hold every now and then. Goodness knows some of our own have taken to "assisting" each other. The idea of two women laying together does not sit well with me but it doesn't strike me as wrong either. I suppose I really don't know what to make of it. So long as they perform their duties and responsibilities, I have no true qualms about it.

In Kindness and In Peace,

Anna Von Braun

April 9th of the Year 19xx, Blessed Be

Truly this year's Holy Week and Easter Celebration is a resounding success. Though we do not have much, it does my heart good to see the community come together to share and partake of the blessings granted to us. I really must ask Sister Tina about her cinnamon and butterscotch pies; they truly are a delight and would be good for any bake sale for the church.

Speaking of delights, Delilah and little Derek had come to visit this time. I know babies are rambunctious little things but oh my, I don't think I've been more worried for another so frequently or intensely. He absolutely would not stop putting strange things in his mouth with his grabby little hands that I contemplated having our time spent together locked in my chambers. Delilah waves off such worries, saying it would be good for little Derek to get used to the world.

To be honest, I was surprised when Delilah stayed and helped clean up after the feast ended. And yet, I couldn't be happier at the extra time spent with her. Imagine my joy when she asked if she could spend the night with me at the church. The suddenness of it all left me at unease so I asked her if everything was alright with her husband. Of course, she laughed my worries away, joking that she just didn't want to walk too far after a filling meal with a baby in tow.

As my sister was preparing for sleep, I took to looking after little Derek. It wasn't particularly hard; a simply lullaby was all it took. All of his play and activity during the feast must've tired him out greatly. As Delilah walked in, she commented how good I am with little Derek and wondering when I will marry and have children of my own. Of course, I had to remind her of my vows and that one of them was of celibacy. She counters my vows with the fact that there are married priests so she doesn't exactly see the issue of why there can't be married nuns. Of course, I had to remind her of certain details between nuns and laywomen of the faith but I suppose it all amounts to nothing since I know we'll have this conversation again.

She lamented that someone as beautiful as I was wasting away, keeping myself cooped up in the church but I gently remind her that it was my choice and that all are beautiful in the eyes of our Lord. I only hope that she might see that herself one day.

In Kindness and In Peace,

Anna Von Braun

July 4th of the Year 19xx, Blessed Be

I understand that today was an important national holiday but I can't help but feel it could do without the wanton drinking and rowdiness. How many times has a stray and most likely illegal firework come close to setting something ablaze? How many a drunken boor should wind his way down the streets with lewd hands and actions?

And the violence. I know not what quarrel some of these gangs have with each other but it is not just them that are hurt in their conflicts but innocent people as well. We have informed the authorities of these happenings but they either say they are busy or there is nothing they can do. While it is true that such criminal acts occur every year in great number, I cannot help my indignation at their unwillingness to intervene. We try our best to help those in need by providing sanctuary but I pray that a more permanent solution will make itself known.

In Kindness and In Peace,

Anna Von Braun

August 6th of the Year 19xx, Blessed Be

One of our sisters was accosted by a group of street hoodlums. It was lucky that she was outside of Gustav's butcher shop whom came to her aid along with his wife, Edda. I was told it was quite the sight with the mad wife threatening the thugs off with a meat mallet and cleaver. Still though, I can't help but worry about future encounters. I asked if she wanted to inform the authorities but she refused with such vehemence that I was taken aback. When I pushed for answers, she went quiet. What did they say to her to make her so silent? As much as I would like to press more, I did not think I was going to get more out of her. I believed the next best thing would be for me at least request the police to patrol the area more often. The operator was kind enough to tell me that our area would be on the lookout list between calls so that's something of a relief. I only pray that it makes something of a difference, to ease the anxiety of the people.

In Kindness and In Peace,

Anna Von Braun

October 31st of the Year 19xx, Blessed Be

A truly terrible thing has happened. On this day, innocent lives were lost. I do not know all the details as of this entry but that there was a shooting at the local supermarket. We will pray and dedicate our next mass to their dearly departed souls.

In Kindness and In Peace,

Ann Von Braun

November 5th of the Year 19xx, Blessed Be

We had just finished overseeing the burial of those we have lost from our congregation: Adélie Smithe, Jaime Sanchez, Theodore Johnson, and Kenneth Woodrow. As was written before, the shooting occurred at the local supermarket and the police described it as gang warfare and they were unfortunately at the right place at the wrong time. The police have promised to be more active in patrols around our neighborhood and they have indeed made a show of presence but I fear it's for nothing. When they are gone for whatever reason, what will stop the gangs from just picking things up again? Not to mention when they feel emboldened despite their presence? Several of our congregation that own small businesses have already told me that these gangs have threatened them, forcing them to pay "protection" money. Those who have refused find their businesses vandalized and destroyed. The police have made arrests but the fear and violence continues.

I pray that things might get better but it doesn't appear to be any time soon. I was only a few blocks away when I heard the cries of a baby. Imagine my surprise and heartbreak when I found him at the doorsteps, swaddled in blankets with a bloodstained note. It is unfortunate that I could not read it for it was in Chinese but perhaps I can visit Chinatown and have one of the locals translate. I digress though; I did what I could for the baby: cleaned him, fed him, and kept him warm and out of the cold of fall. Such a precious little thing too; what could have possibly happened to his parents that would leave him so? I plan on making a visit to the police station, maybe they can help in this regard.

In Kindness and In Peace,

Anna Von Braun


That was as far as Patricia had gotten that night. It was after that entry that the pages became charred black and when she carefully attempted to turn them, pieces began to flake off. Fretting over the damage, she closed the journal as gently as she could and resolved to try again another time. Mulling it over, maybe there was some merit to Edward's reluctance to revealing his past…from his perspective at least. The area he was born into certainly read violently enough and while she understands that it didn't seem much to be proud about, there still seemed to be good people worthy of praising.

"Everything alright, love?"

Patricia started at the inquiry, a hand flying toward her chest as she tried to calm herself. To her immediate left at the stove, Edward stood preparing a pot of tea.

"Goodness, you scared me. I'm alright, just…thinking."

"I'm not wearing a bell around my neck, no matter how kinky that might be."

"What!?" Patricia sputters, her face flushing blue, "That was not why I suggested that you wear a bell!"

"Sorry, bad joke," Edward smirks briefly before it falls away, "But really, anything wrong?"

"It's nothing…just…I started reading the journal and I've been mulling over what I've read so far."

"Ah," Edward replies simply.

The tea pot whistles harshly, prompting its removal and the pouring of its steaming hot contents into the prepared tea cups for a customer. For a moment, Edward wants to say something and his mouth opens. Nothing comes out though. Awkwardly, he closes it, shakes his head, and settles for kissing his beloved on the cheek before leaving with the tray of tea. Patricia sighs as she is once again left alone with her thoughts.


…will be the death of me. He's taken to patrolling the neighborhood at night and I lament every time he returns home because he returns a bloody mess without fail, either limping by himself or by police escort. Every time the police escort him home, they tell me the same thing: they find him in an alleyway surrounded by thugs. Sometimes they are in the same state as he is, others they are not. Every time I patch him up as best as I can as I wonder and fear which time might be the last.

This time is different; the police have threatened to take him away if they find him in such a state again. I scold him, reprimand him, punish him, implore him, beg him, anything I could think of to dissuade him from his path. He just looked at me with a quiet intensity, took a deep breath, and said, "Ok."

O Lord, please grant me strength.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

March 21st of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

I worry for Edward and yet I can't neglect my duties for him. He wakes up at the usual time for mass and his classes but lately, he moves as if in a haze. Even the other children that play with him have noticed, even if they do have a good laugh if he should fall asleep into his soup at supper or walk right into a door. Every time I manage a glimpse of him outside of his good works and studies, he's always curled up asleep in some shady spot or other.

When I asked him about this, he said that he gets restless at night hence his lack of energy during the day. This answer I found odd for he would be the very first to go to sleep at nights, even before the children are put to sleep. He would be dead to all the world even as the children cajoled him into waking up for some last minute fun yet he would not stir at all.

I didn't want to believe he was lying but what could I do? So I promised to spend the night awake, to be sure that Edward hasn't taken up his bloody vigil once more. Unfortunately, I failed in this endeavor since I fell asleep re-reading the scriptures. The following morning, I demanded that I look him over for medical reasons which ultimately turned up nothing. In one of his rare moments of cheekiness, he accused me of being lecherous. If only for appearances, he was punished with cleaning duty. Still, I'm glad to have been wrong about him sneaking out. Thinking about it though, perhaps he has other reasons for being tired. He is at that age after all. I believe a talk is in order.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

April 30th of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

We have taken on an apprentice today and I must remark that having her here is a blessing. Sarah is young and yet she already has the motherly instinct and touch that our dear children are missing, even if she does make a mistake every now and then. Regardless, the children adore her and are prone to following her around like little ducklings.

I wanted to believe she would be a blessing for Edward too; to have someone of similar age living to interact with, and to grow. How quickly those hopes were dashed away though when their first meeting turned into an argument. Somehow, one of the children managed to climb the tree in our backyard and climbed high enough to be "exciting" but now they're too scared to come down. We tried to encourage him to try and climb down, slow and steady as he could or at least until we could reach him and gently bring him back but to no avail.

Edward had an alternative idea that frankly just gave everyone a fright: he yelled, "SPIDER!" This resulted in the child launching himself from the tree with a scream, much to our shock and horror, and landed right onto Edward in a bodily heap. After making sure the child was unharmed, I had meant to scold Edward for taking such a risk but Sarah had beaten me to it with a fury I did not expect from her. Unfortunately and perhaps expectedly, Edward didn't take it lying down and argued furiously back with the ends justifying the means.

The children were becoming distressed so I had to put an end to their quarrel before it escalated but I did demand that they see me later on to discuss and mediate the matter. I'm glad I have my own chamber for occasions such as this because good heavens, could they argue. I thought it a wonder they didn't run out of breath with the way they were going. It was slow going but I managed to get them to apologize to one another, if begrudgingly. Even then, they would barely talk to one another except for the one greeting of the day. I can only hope they get along better in the future so for now, I will let them be.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

May 10th of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

I don't know what to make of today. Edward and I were on our way back from retrieving groceries for the church when we encountered him: a boy around Edward's age clothed scandalously like those women of the night. It was quite disconcerting too for he was quite feminine looking with his bob cut that framed his face delicately. The only reason I was sure he was male was because he was wearing a fishnet top that left very little to the imagination. When we reached speaking distance with him, he immediately tried to sell himself. Admittedly, I was quite flustered but mostly indignant for he suggested a blasphemous alternative to reaching Heaven. Unfortunately for him, Edward did not take too kindly to that and so resulted in a scuffle which I had to break up. Honestly, I wish Edward would exercise some patience but he is still young.

Since it was Edward that started the fight, it only seemed fair to offer some recompense for the harm that had befallen the boy. I offered that he stay the night at the church. He immediately refused but what was strange was that his eyes seemed to be moving rapidly, as if he were looking for something. When I tried to insist on the matter, he became most distressed and just said we should leave if we weren't going to purchase him for the night. We acquiesced but only after I reassured him the offer still stood. Edward seemed to mimic the boy's earlier moment, scanning the streets for something. Whether he found it or not, I don't know but he did bow to the boy before walking away with me.

I couldn't help but feel pity for the young nighthawk. If he was alone, did he have anywhere to go home to, to keep him warm and safe? If he wasn't, was he at least treated well? I shudder to think about what sort of clientele he attracts and can only pray for his well-being. I don't know if I'll ever encounter the boy again but I will make it a point to find him, just to be sure that he's safe.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

May 24th of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

I am horrified at how Edward has conducted himself and yet I can't help but be relieved that it was towards the greater good. Edward seemed to have the same idea on checking up on the boy we met some time ago. What I did not expect though was for him to come into my chamber as I was conversing with Sarah, Delilah, and young Derek, bloody hand-in-hand with the bruised and crying nighthawk. Naturally and sadly, the visit was cut short and Sarah was quick to comfort the poor thing. Honestly, I don't think I would have the strength to deal with both should things escalate.

After dealing with the blood and getting ice for the bruises, I demanded to know what happened. I got no answers from Edward since he immediately bolted out the door without a word but the other young man provided them tearfully. He had been meeting with his handler (for lack of better title) whom was not too impressed with what money he made on the streets and was beating him. That was what Edward came in to and so he ambushed the handler, beating him until he wasn't moving.

Oh dear God, I pray that Edward hasn't committed that most grievous of sins.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

May 30th of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

Despite his melancholy, young Johnathan has been a most welcome addition to our congregation and Sarah has been most helpful in making him comfortable. I only wish that he would learn to forgive himself and be at peace. He is a wonderful help but if he should ever make a mistake, the poor thing breaks down groveling his apologies. I shudder to think what happened to make him like this, especially at night when the nightmares become too much for him. As such, I've been offering my bed and presence to him. He had adamantly refused at first, citing he didn't want to be any more trouble than he was now but I reasoned him down where he could not refuse. The nightmares still cause him trouble but I find a little hymn is enough to chase them away for the night.

If only they were enough to chase away my worries for Edward. He has been gone for so long that I fear he is either dead or in jail. That was why I was so frightened when I heard a loud banging at the church doors. Young Johnathan apparently shared my fears for his eyes immediately snapped open and he clung to me desperately. It was only after reassuring him that everything would be alright and it's probably just a drunkard who knocked on the doors did he calm down and we both went to see whom was at the door.

Sarah had apparently beaten us to the door but we were shocked to see Edward in the company of two police officers. I feared the worst since I remember their ultimatum if they should find Edward doing something he shouldn't again and they were just formally informing us of his violations and punishment. Relief and surprise swept through me though when they left, one of them even patting Edward on the shoulder saying, "Good work." As soon as the door was closed, young Johnathan launched himself at Edward, crying profusely into his chest which caused Edward to blush. As much as I wanted answers to where Edward disappeared to, I was content with hugging them both to which both sighed into. Of course, I whispered that answers were to be had the following morning to which Edward replied simply, "Okay."

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

June 6th of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

Looking back on my earlier entries, I notice that most of them are rather worrying, which makes what I'm about write all the sweeter. Admittedly, I will always be worried about Edward especially now that he secretly works with the police as their eyes and ears on the streets and yet I can't help but feel proud of him for doing his part towards a peaceful community. There are times when he does return with some form of injury or other and while I do get in my share of scolding, the way Sarah and Johnathan fuss over him will surely give him pause before doing anything reckless.

Johnathan has improved greatly as well, seeming to have found his own peace. I no longer offer my presence and bed to him but he seems to have found a replacement in Edward if the mornings I find them cuddled up together are anything to go by. Many of the other sisters find great amusement in this, remarking how they look good together and sinfully wondering about certain subjects I dare not write here. Even if they do make handsome pair and even if I have observed the way Johnathan lights up whenever Edward is in the same room as him and how they sometimes regard each other gently, Edward running a calloused hand gently through Johnathan's silken bob as the latter blushes with their foreheads meeting as they tell each other about their days.

That being said, Sarah has been a boon for our community. Her piousness and demeanor makes me wish I could accelerate her postulancy and into the novitiate but alas, such are traditions. But then, perhaps this is for the best for I noticed that she has some distractions, if perhaps a happy one in the form of my nephew Derek. He has grown into a fine young man and while saddened that he does not quite connect with Edward or Johnathan, he seems to have taken a fancy to Sarah, if they're interactions are anything to go by. My sister and I have discussed at length to getting them together but I made it clear that it lied in Sarah's power entirely to continue pursuing her faith as a celibate nun or a wife of a layman of the faith, both of which are respectable.

Curiosity is a wily devil though and I couldn't help but call Sarah into my chambers and get to know her feelings on the matter. She was very quick to reassure that she was friends with Derek but when the subject turned towards Edward, she was very much demure and defensive about it. While I admit sadness for Derek at the loss at a chance for love, I couldn't help the overwhelming joy that Edward and Sarah might be happy together! Oh, the Lord does work in mysterious and gracious ways. I must offer prayer and thanks.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun


Carefully placing a marker between crispy pages, Patricia closed the journal gently and set it down next to her on the log where she sat, sighing into the wind. Today had been a slow day and with their stock of strawberries low, Edward had gone off to the local market for more. With their shop temporarily closed and the weather being at peace, Patricia took the opportunity to read more of the journal and enjoy the sun. Footfalls on crunching sand alerted her to a presence but she immediately relaxes on seeing who it is.

"Oh hello, Steven. It's good to see you again. You'll want your usual, right? Let me just…"

"Um, actually, can we…talk about something?" He asks, his eyes focused on the sand.

"Oh, alright..."

She picks up the journal and sets it on her lap as she scoots down the log a bit, patting the empty space next to her. Steven thanks her as he takes a seat, contemplative eyes still focused on the ground. For a moment, nothing is said or done. Patricia considers asking Steven what's wrong but thinks better of it. A distinguished gentlemanly voice rung out in her memory their favorite saying: "A stew doesn't reach perfection because of the ingredients but because of the boil, the simmer, the stewing, the what-have-you, wot wot!" She giggled at this memory.

"Forgive me, Steven, I wasn't laughing at you, just remembering a fond memory."

"It's okay, it's just…do you ever feel like something really important is being kept secret from you?" He asks tentatively.

Patricia is stunned for just a moment until she lets out a mirthless chuckle.

"Yes, I've certainly felt that way. To be honest though, I never considered it a secret until recently considering how tight-lipped my husband is about it. But if I know anything about Edward, it's that he didn't reveal anything about his past because he wanted to protect me…and himself."

"But what if…!" Steven starts but clamps his mouth shut, his head bowed towards the sand.

"If…?" Patricia asks patiently.

The boy remains silent though but the trembling in his body tells her that there's something else, something he desperately wants to understand. Patricia offers what comfort she can: she slides closer to the boy and embraces him, his trembling ceasing immediately.

"Whenever you're ready," she whispers.

The story tearfully comes tumbling out. How it had started out as innocent fun following the footsteps of the No Home Boys, hitching a ride to the country side, basking in Nature's beauty as they trekked through its vistas farther and farther away from home, culminating to the romanticized ride in a boxcar full of hay in the light of the setting sun. But then things went downhill when they left the boxcar and trekked to a dying canyon of dreary shadows and cold gloom. Strange machines frozen in time with their drills poised towards whatever earth was available and walls lined with multitudes of eerily empty humanoid holes. How Pearl discovered them, the words spoken mired in pain and regret, the fight that broke out.

"Ah, Amethyst led you to the Prime Kindergarten."

"P-Prime Kindergarten?" Steven sniffles.

Patricia sighs, shaking her head. She gently pushes Steven to arm's length, smiling sadly as she brushes away the tears.

"I know that it might seem unfair that something like this was being kept secret from you; believe me I know that feeling too well. But like I said earlier, such things aren't kept from you for malicious reasons but because we want to protect you from it. And, perhaps even more selfishly, protect whatever pure image you have of us. We were…are…members of a planet-destroying race, after all."

"But that wasn't you or Garnet or Pearl or Amethyst! So why?"

"Steven…part of it is I think they see how hard you try to meet their expectations as a Crystal Gem. They see your determination, your energy, your courage…everything you can and are willing to do to make them proud," Patricia says as she hugs the trembling boy once more, "They see that and respond in kind by being the best mothers they could since you…," She stops, shaking her head ruefully, "They would never want to be the source of your distress or pain. So they kept certain things from you, frightened that if you ever found out you would hate them for it."

As his cries are renewed at that terrible thought, she hugs him just a bit tighter, soothing the poor boy as best she could. When she feels eyes on her, she carefully looks up. Standing a ways off, Amethyst and Pearl take in the scene somberly abashed while Edward looks on, his eyes empty.


August 27th of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

The days are getting unbearably hot to the point that I've told the other sisters that they aren't required to wear the habit until such a time the weather is more agreeable so long as they wear something to denote our faith. I and some others have opted for a small golden crucifix around our necks, others for rosaries around their wrists. Johnathan has opted for the latter but Edward, perhaps expectedly, rejects both. Sarah and Johnathan have tried coaxing him into wearing the rosary with a joke about making a fashion show of it but to their disappointment, Edward refuses saying it's just a distraction.

I can understand his reluctance since he has taken to doing odd jobs within and outside of our district, almost all of which is manual labor. And as always, I worry that he does too much and that he will wear himself down to nothing. During the day he works only to come back so late into the night that it's a wonder if he gets any sleep.

In hindsight, I consider if I'm overstepping my bounds by asking Johnathan to keep an eye on him but I was still relieved to learn that my worries are for nothing. Though I find it disagreeable given their age, it seems Edward's and now Johnathan's late returns are due to drinking out with a friend; someone from a construction job Edward has undertaken. They always return in high spirits in both senses of the word. It makes me curious what sort of friend this is and can't wait to meet him or her. Hopefully him since I would hate for dear Sarah to have competition for Edward's attention.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

September 9th of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

When I imagined meeting or being introduced to Edward and Johnathan's friend, having them drunkenly stumble into the church at three in the morning as they sang at the top of their lungs some nonsense was not it. The stench of alcohol clung to their friend in such a way that I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he had bathed in it if his wet clothing is anything to go by.

As much as I wanted to let them just sleep right then and there as a means of punishment, I enlisted some help from my fellow nuns and Sarah in stripping them of their clothing and washing whatever filth they acquired. This may have been a mistake though since everyone seemed a little too eager, not to mention the very ribald observations of their bodies; one of them even made the joke of just having them sleep in the same bed naked which then escalated into what position they would be in. Sarah seemed to be imagining this quite vividly if her madly blushing face as she prepared Edward was anything to go by. Needless to say, I had to put a stop to it even if the stray thought that Johnathan would sleep in the middle of Edward and their friend entered my mind.

Speaking of, their friend truly is a large individual that it took three of us to carry and clean him. And goodness his hair. Such wild looking and untamable hair and yet so soft and barely a knot. It was during our marveling that a comb tumbled out of his hair, solving the mystery of how and who took care of his hair. The handle of the comb was a beautiful orange with jagged black stripes and embedded in the middle was a very small ruby or some similar precious gemstone. I imagined it was very important to him but seeing as he was asleep and I didn't want to wake him, I decided to keep it safe in my own chambers until he woke up.

This was a grave mistake for the following morning, everyone was frightened awake by a terrible howling. Rushing towards the dormitories with the screams getting louder and louder the closer I got, I was relieved to see the children were safe as they huddle and cried around Sarah. Entering the dormitory, I saw Edward and Johnathan struggling to keep their friend down as they yelled for him to calm down as he screamed and cried. He eventually stopped fighting them but turned on himself as he clawed wildly through his hair and sobbed, repeating that "it" had to be there.

He could only have been talking about the comb. After ordering Edward and Johnathan to stop their friend from hurting himself, I rushed to retrieve it. When I returned, Edward and Johnathan were kneeling beside his curled-up form as he begged for his mother. I honestly had no idea how he would react but I couldn't just leave him like this so I placed his head on my lap and started combing his hair as I hummed a hymn. He froze for a moment and Edward and Johnathan froze with him, prepared to jump him once more. Much to everyone's relief, he didn't though. He just broke, sobbing apologies and for his mother over and over again as he cried himself to sleep.

They moved him back to a bed as gently as they could while I placed the comb back in his hands. While I went to explain the situation to the others, Edward and Johnathan sat by taking vigil until he awoke which wasn't until well into night. He seemed to recollect what happened earlier and apologized profusely. None of us would have it though and they offered to walk him home. He refused immediately, saying he caused enough trouble all the while as he inched his way towards the door. I didn't want to distress him further so I offered to at least walk him to the door.

The way there was rather slow since he apologized to everyone we passed but the others were sure to let him know he was forgiven; the children even offered that next time he sleeps over that they should all sleep together to keep the nightmares away. Their friend hugged them tightly and thanked them as more tears threatened to escape. When we did make it to the door and before anything more could be said, he immediately ran down the street as he yelled over his shoulder that he would be back to repay our kindness. I pray that he returns home safe and when and if he does come back, that it is in better peaceful spirits.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

September 17th of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

I really should say something to Thomas. As much as we appreciate his visits with food for the church and, to my chagrin, a bag of chocolate for the children, I can't help but worry that he's spending a bit too much on us and not himself. He waves it off with a boisterous laugh and says not to worry about it but still. So I thought that I would show him our appreciation by reciprocating his good will at his home. Unfortunately, their employer didn't know where Thomas lived since they make their rounds amongst vagrants and immigrants for cheap labor and Thomas was among this group. This has me even more worried and hopeful that we could help him just as he has helped us.

Among other things, we were all treated to quite a shock when Edward and Johnathan returned from work that day; Johnathan had completely shaven his head. When asked, he said that he merely thought it was time for a change and that he had a new life now. The boys seemed to take great delight in the change, treating his head like a drum much to his humor; admittedly, I find myself laughing a little when the light hits his head just right. But ultimately like many of the other sisters and even the young girls, I couldn't help but pity the loss.

Edward told me in secret why Johnathan truly did what he did. Though he indeed felt like a change, he also wanted to contribute to the church that helped him so he had sold his hair and had Edward sneak it into the donation box while no one was looking. When I checked, I was shocked to find five one hundred dollar bills in it. It is times like these that I am truly grateful to God for blessing this church with these darling boys. I can only hope that we might return such gestures one day.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

October 1st of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

Many of the congregation and my fellow sisters seem to have a joke running amongst them about how I have adopted Edward, Johnathan, and Thomas since I have no children of my own. I must admit that I feel the same way and with Edward's sullen snark, Johnathan's newfound peace and perhaps sudden flirtatiousness, and Thomas' child-like exuberance, I truly do have my hands full with them. But truly, they are full with a love that I imagine a mother would be filled with in regards to her sons. That being said, I think I'm done with "adopting" anymore children.

How Thomas came to live with us was still tragic if thankfully less dramatic. I had written earlier that I had wished to reciprocate Thomas' goodwill at his home but to run into difficulties when no one could tell me where he lived. That was because he didn't live in any home. When I found out, Thomas confessed to having lived on the streets ever since his mother died. He said he never really minded since he remembers the apartment he grew up in rather being squalid with their poverty; the only reason he ever came back home was because of his mother.

He remembered his mother as a very strong woman, one that seemed to take the world by force laughing all the way. He remembered how she would take him up on her shoulders or hold him high above her head to give him the wind on his face, how every time they shared a meal they would make a game out of it, and how every night before sleeping she would run her comb along her hair singing softly. This last habit extended to Thomas when his hair grew out, in adoring admiration of her.

He remembered the day she died, how he had come home to a stranger standing outside of their apartment, how they explained there was an accident at his mother's job of the week. There was no funeral, just a lot of travelling and waiting rooms; sometimes empty, other times with grown-ups and the odd child or two. One day, he got sick of it and just walked out. He never saw those strangers again and ever since, lived on the streets. I cannot fathom how Thomas did it and told him as much. He merely shrugged and said he didn't know how either, he just did.

Again, I must wonder about the peculiar circumstances of their friendship. The thing that unites them is their equally tragic pasts that would normally embitter such youth. Perhaps it's still there and I am merely not witness to it but what I do witness is their magnanimity and nobility. The three work together to study, to help around with the church for whatever needs to be done, to look after and mentor the children, guiding and counseling members of the faith if we're overwhelmed, and so much more. I am glad to have them not only as members of the congregation but also as sons. I pray that when the time comes, they go on to live rich fulfilling lives filled with joy and love.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun


Looking up from her place in the journal, she sees the outside world buried in white as a blizzard blusters on. They had closed early due to the city-wide warning to stay indoors until the anomaly passed but not wanting to risk being buried under, Edward had taken to regularly shoveling a path from the entrance to the street. She offered to help but he waved it off, just asking to have some tea to be shared when he finished for the time being. A difficult task now that the snow had begun piling up to waist height; who would've thought a beach would see such snowfall?

The doors whoosh open in a blast of cold air and rampant snowflakes before sliding shut as Edward stumbles in, frosted over in a layer dripping snow. His breath is heavy as he settles down across from Patricia, taking off the layer after layer of warm clothing.

"Since when does a beach get cold enough for this much snowfall?" He groans.

Patricia pours out a cup of tea and gently slides it over to Edward whom takes it with a grateful look and nod. He takes a deep breath of the steam rising from the tea, filling up on the warmth and scent of green tea before taking a sip.

"Snow's still falling strong, probably do a couple more runs before calling it. I should probably think about making the path a bit wider now that I think on it. Don't want the snow to tumble in from the sides every time the doors open."

Patricia doesn't say anything.

"Maybe we should add some sort of enclosed balcony to our floor. Could watch the snow, all cuddled up in a blanket together, sharing body warmth and sweet nothings, eh? We could have it extend from our window. Wait, we would have to move the desk…or we could continue having a desk, get a sturdier one and have it double as a sort of stoop."

Patricia hums. She supposes she could ask him, dig a little deeper into the relationships he had. Reading it from this Abbess' perspective was certainly interesting but surely there were details that only Edward would know regardless of how close Abbess Anna was to Edward. For all she knew, the good woman could've been omitting details of her own when she wrote it down.

"Think I'll have to ask Greg for help. Seems like he knows where all the good deals are on lumber and all that, maybe we can get some glass screens cheap too. Didn't see anything as far as carpenters go so really, he is the best around."

She really should've talked to those younger brothers of his. There's always hope that they send some sort of confirmation that they reach the Pacific Northwest so she could ask them then. Oh, but who knows how long that will take? If it were a train going straight from coast to coast, it would only take three or four days. Unfortunately, it was a cargo train and considering all the possible stops, setbacks, and routes, it could very well take them a month.

"Hey."

The poking finger that dimples her cheek elicits a giggle from her.

"Edward, what on earth was that for?"

"Sorry, couldn't resist. Also, wasn't quite sure you heard what I was saying about…"

"…possibly replacing our desk that's facing the window and asking Greg to help you add an enclosed balcony from our window so we could cuddle up together and watch the snow fall from the safety of our home, exchanging loving words, and falling asleep together in our warmth? Yes, I heard."

"Well, I was hoping that we would do a tad bit more than just fall asleep but if that's what you want…"

Husband and wife laugh, their eyes finding each other. She takes in the warmth of his eyes and languid posture as he takes her all in, his smile small but so full of contentment. What could've happened that it would affect you this much for so long, she somberly wonders as her own smile falls away. He notices, a frown forming and he glides a hand towards hers. His pinky catches the journal, startling him for a moment as his eyes fixate upon it. He sighs. Downing the rest of his tea, he stands rolling his shoulders

"I better go another round and widen the path while I'm on it," Edward says, slowly donning once more the bulky winter clothing. Secure, he goes outside in a blast of cold air and into the blustering fray once more.


April 18th of the year 20xx, Blessed Be

I can't help but feel that perhaps God shared my sorrow when I had to say farewell to my three boys on this dreadfully rainy day. I would've liked for them to have stayed but with the influx of orphans arriving at our church and lack of space, they had to leave since they were the oldest of them all not to mention legally adults. I even tried to offer them a deal about having a room to themselves in exchange for chores and the like. But I should've known they wouldn't accept for despite their love for routine and stability, they also seem to have that thirst of freedom and independence.

So that, as they say, was that. Tearful good-byes and hugs for all as they left, promising to help and serve the church in their own way. I told them they weren't obligated to do such a thing and that their visits would be enough but they said it's what they wanted to do. So I pray for the best and for their health.

With Love and Kindness,

Anna Von Braun

May 5th of the Year 20xx, Blessed Be

I should've forced them to stay if I knew that this is what they would be doing. They would've been safe and unharmed and not carrying in Edward's unconscious, bruised, and bloody body between Johnathan's and Thomas' equally battered bodies. Vigilantism against an armed gang of all things. Whatever happened to being the police's eyes and ears?

Their explanations were even worse, if that can be believed. They got careless, they said. We can beat them, they said. Oh, how I put my foot down and told them they would do no such thing anymore. Right now, they're resting in the medical room but I wouldn't be surprised to find them gone in the morning.

Now I have to wonder who put such an idea in their heads until I come to a cold realization that it might've been Edward. I remember his mad crusade and how he was reported to have assaulted gang members alone. I had thought he had stopped and taken a step back from such bloody affairs but perhaps he didn't. I can only hope that this is not the case and he hasn't swept up Johnathan and Thomas into something…

The sound barrier is broken somewhere, drawing everyone's attention. Soon after, there is an explosion of sand on the beach right outside the tea shop, frightening customers as they scramble to run away. When the last customer had fled, Edward silently hefts the axe from its place above the register and walks out towards the threat, Patricia following suit as she materializes sabre and pistol. Outside, they are met with a curious sight: a floating cyan orb with stumpy legs marching up the beach.


Author's Note: Sorry about taking *checks calendar* 3 months to update this, there was some crazy stuff going on with work and life but that's all over with (for now). This whole chapter was certainly a pain to write because I was going back and forth about whether or not to make it a dedicated flashback or completely forgo it in favor of contents revealed through conversation but then I decided, "Let's experiment." So now we have a bit of both with parts dedicated to reading the journal and what's happening between breaks and progressing through the story of Steven Universe canon (with some liberties taken). I'm interested in hearing about how this chapter read to you the readers as well as the character of Anna Von Braun because her point of view is completely alien to my own and I'm hoping that her character isn't stilted or even stock. When we reach the bonus chapter mark, I will definitely be looking at this chapter again for editing and fixes.

Another would be Steven's scene because while the episode On The Run ended with him making a joke/deprecating remark about sleeping on a real bed, I wanted to explore the ramifications of finding out that maybe your heroes/mother figures aren't as perfect as you thought they were. That and I think even if Steven is stronger than the average individual, I don't think even he could escape from that sort of thing without immediate ramifications (the full ones being addressed later in the show).

That being said, I again apologize for the wait, thanks to those who have reviewed and favorite'd, and I hope you enjoy this story/chapter. See you all next chapter.