Chapter II

Lexa is sitting on her throne, she is left alone with only her memories. She feels a lot gray at the moment: she knows Titus since she was training for her conclave and still she is in shock. She hasn't even fully healed but she had to show strength to her people.

Her eyes close and she takes a deep breath.

Only a few days ago her life almost ended and she can't help but think about that day.

Lexa is still in her room after Clarke left her to finish her preparation for her trip back to Arkadia. She is about to go to the kitchen and take something to drink when she hears shots coming from Clarke's chambers. She runs to the blonde in fear for her safety, she could swear she has heard Titus voice. The door is already open and everything happens in an instant: suddenly she feels warm on her stomach and all she can hear is Clarke's voice calling her name in shock and fear. The commander looks down at her hand and sees her blood, black as night, she looks at Clarke, both of them terrified. While she collapses on the floor she hears Titus' voice in her head.

"Everything you do elevates her, why?"

"Clarke elevates herself, she's special."

"Your special, Heda."

She is remembering their first kiss, how Clarke said she wasn't ready yet and she felt so naive. She thinks about that time when she injured her shoulder while the two girls were running away from Pauna and Clarke helped her. How can she forget the night spent under the sky watching over the blonde after leaving behind the giant gorilla? That was the moment when she realized how special Clarke was to her. Clarke has never thought love is weakness and she proved it so many times that she managed to change Lexa's mind. The blonde always put her people first and even if sometimes she acts accordingly to her heart and not her head, she manages to do always the right thing. The love and care for her people, drives her to do her best in the most efficient way.

The brunette still feels the blonde's lips on hers, she wishes this isn't happening and their still in her bed. 'This is just a bad dream. I'm still relaxing with Clarke.'

"Help me get her in bed!" Clarke yells at Titus.

"What have I done?!" Titus screams in total shock.

"I need something to stop the bleeding!" the blonde commands the man and she immediately puts her hands on Lexa's injury. "You'll be okay, just lie still. Lie still, okay? Lie still."

The brunette cups with her hand Clarke's ones and she looks up to her.

"Don't be afraid."

Funny how your mind works sometimes, telling these words to the blonde reminds Lexa about a similar conversation they had while facing Pauna.

"Don't be afraid Clarke, death is not the end."

Lexa doesn't know how it will end, she's losing a lot of blood and she's slowly fading and she keeps switching between memories and reality.

She manages to speak with Titus telling him to never again attempt on Clarke's life, if these are her last moments she must know that the blonde will be safe and sound.

The younger girl seems to have catched up on what they said, because immediately she get closer to Lexa with that way of hers: full of confidence and authority.

"Ehi, don't you dare give up on me."

"I'm not.. my spirit will find-"

"No. I'm not letting you die." Clarke tells her with a mix of confidence and a bit of worry.

"There's nothing you can do now. The next commander will protect you." Lexa says with that little breath she still has and trying to fix her eyes on her beloved.

"I don't want the next commander. I want you." the blonde confesses while she fights back tears. The brunette closes momentarily her eyes.

"We are not dying here. I need your spirit to stay where it is."

"Then get ready to fight."

Those words could not be more appropriate, right now they're not fighting against Pauna but against time.

And time seems to have run out on Lexa.

The commander opens her eyes as she hears the door opens and finds Clarke walking in the throne room towards her.

"Clarke?"

"Ehi, are you okay?" the blonde says worried. She kneels down next to her and puts her hand on her leg. "Today was a difficult one, you should be resting, you know?"

"I know. I will. I just needed to do it. They need to see me strong." Lexa sighs and brings her hand to the stomach, under her clothes and armor there's the bandage which clearly needs to be changed. Clarke watches how she grimaces at her own touch over the wound.

"Come on, let's go change the dressing." she helps the brunette and they walk together to Lexa's chambers. There are some extra guards around the tower in these days for a better security, by Indra's orders, she is feeling a bit guilty for what happened to Heda since she was resting from her own injury. As always, the warriors don't dare to look at the commander as she walks by, but they can't help to watch Wanheda instead, who is always at the brunette sides and you can tell they are glad she is. After all, she is the one who saved her life, if it wasn't for her today at the tower they would be working on funeral's arrangements instead of just having a normal day.

Once inside Lexa let Clarke help her taking off her armor and as soon as it is off, she lies on the bed and let the blonde take care of her. She gently pulls up her shirt and narrows her eyebrows.

"I told you, you should have waited. Look at that, I think you ripped off your stitches." she says as she starts cutting off the now black dressing. Lexa is aware of Clarke's feelings, they've talked a lot in the past days. The blonde feels guilty, as many others, because Titus was aiming at her not at someone else, she knew she was putting at risk the commander's life and leadership by staying there, that was why she has decided to leave Polis, even if she wanted differently. Now, the situation is a bit different. She has been requested to stay with Lexa until she recovers, she's the only Skaikru member inside Polis, even if Octavia has been granted privileges to come and go between Arkadia and the tower: she has the job to keep the brunette and Indra up to date about the situation with the thirteenth clan. It's been only a few days but words of the accident spread to Arkadia too and Abby had tried to get a meeting with Lexa various times now.

"Abby still wants to see you to check on your progresses." Clarke informs the brunette while she removes and replaces new stitches.

"Doesn't she trust her daughter's skills?" Lexa says while she grins her teeth.

"She does but I think she wants to make sure you and I are both okay." the commander knows this is the truth: Abby wants to see her daughter, after all she hasn't had the chance to stay with her that much after she came back. She relates to her but she's waiting on granting her the permission to come to Polis for two reasons: one, Skaikru can't be seen outside their camp; two, she wants Clarke all by herself as much as possible.

Lexa smiles when Clarke looks up to her after finishing dressing the wound.

"What?" the blonde asks curiously.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you're here."