Chapter 11 - Wait
"Wake up?" Since when have I been asleep?
"Hermione," Malfoy says softly. Why is he using my first name? "You're in a coma."
And just like that, the breath is stolen from my lungs.
I'm in a coma.
It doesn't make any sense.
Yet, it makes perfect sense.
It's all in my mind, I knew that. The world can shift around me; I change things by simply thinking about them.
My memory.
It explains why I have had such trouble remembering.
The curse. I hit my head. Hard.
None of this is real.
Malfoy.
He's real.
At least, he says he is.
But we have to do something! We can't just sit here and wait for the world to crumble! And if I am indeed in a coma, it isn't possible to make any difference here, just like he's been telling me.
And I don't like being helpless.
Maybe there is some way I can make contact.
Harry doesn't know! He doesn't know to stop it!
I have to make sure he knows!
But I can't.
And I know how illogical my thoughts are becoming.
No. No, this can't be happening!
I try to use reason, try to think logically, but everything's a mess.
I'm supposed to be good at this!
But my thoughts refuse to settle.
"Are you alright?" he asks, but I am too shocked to speak.
We have to do something!
I would be alright if I was just able to do something!
But I'm helpless.
I'm asleep.
And I don't even know for how long.
Why is he even here, helping me to remember if it will make no difference?
Nothing will make a difference.
Because I'm asleep.
I'm in a coma.
And I am useless.
The world is about to be utterly destroyed.
They don't even know it's coming.
And I can do nothing.
"Hermione!" He grabs my hand once again.
And in an instant, my panic begins to fade. In an instant, I start to feel like things will be alright. In an instant, I believe in him.
"You'll be alright," he tells me. "Trust the healers."
I take a deep breath. Trust the healers. They'll fix me. They will wake me up.
Malfoy stands, pulling me up from my place in the sand.
"Let's go," he says quietly.
"Go where?" I ask.
He doesn't reply; just walks.
And around me, the scene changes back to the field with green grass and purple flowers.
"I know you think the ocean, that beach, is your happy place. You think it can calm you when you don't know what's happening, give you a sense of safety when you're afraid. But you're wrong," he says.
It surprises me that our hands are still intertwined, though I don't pull away. It's strange, but isn't it all? Maybe there is something else I'm missing. I still don't quite understand how Malfoy is here with me, why he is the only thing that is real. I don't remember everything that happened, though I predict I remember all the big things and that's why he finally told me about my current state.
But why he holds my hand, I don't quite know.
Why do I let him?
Why does it calm me?
There seems to be a large change from the Malfoy I knew before to the Malfoy here with me now.
I wonder what he meant when he said I was wrong about the ocean being my happy place, about that being what brings me comfort. What did he mean by that? Does he think he knows me better than I know myself?
I highly doubt that.
Does he mean here, among the flowers? Is this my happy place?
We are still walking and I don't know where he is leading me to. There isn't really any place to go.
But then I see it; the blanket laid on the grass, the bottles of whisky.
"What is this?" I ask.
"Celebrating," Malfoy simply states.
"Celebrating what, exactly? The world is falling apart out there."
"Let's not think about that. Your memory. You remember," he says with a small smile. But something is missing and I can't quite place it. There is a disappointment that he hides from me. "Plus, I really want to get wasted."
I can't help but laugh.
"Can we even get drunk here?" I question skeptically.
"Not sure, but your mind seems to be full of surprises, and I for one am going to test it out and see," he replies.
But as he releases my hand to open the bottle, something happens.
My breathing becomes fast, my heart beats fast against my chest. The panic is back.
And I don't understand it, but Malfoy looks at me with a worried gaze and grips my hand once more.
A calm settles over me once again.
What just happened?
I stare at our hands. Why do I feel terrified and helpless and overwhelmed and then suddenly, he simply takes my hand in his and I feel calm and safe and secure and alright?
"This is your happy place," he says quietly, seeming almost shocked himself.
And I remember.
In that dark and frightening room, filled with pain and hopelessness, he's there.
He tells me that I'm strong, that I'm smart, that I'll be alright.
He wraps his bruised arms around my shaking body and pulls me close.
And I feel a hint of safety in his embrace.
He says he will protect me the very best he can and his lips gently brush against my tear stained cheek.
Everything is tainted with pain and loss, with the possibility of never seeing it again. Every thought, memory, friend, place, is trapped within a world of hopeless darkness.
Except this.
Except his arms around me.
Except his words which are my only source of comfort.
Except his lips, the only source of pleasure.
He was the only thing to keep me sane.
The distraction that kept the darkness from swallowing me whole.
With the field around me, light, and beautiful, I realize what has kept me from falling apart all along.
"Draco," I breathe, cupping his face in my hand.
My lips crash against his with a forgotten passion and as his arms come around me. And as he pulls me close, I melt into him.
Author's Note:
Hello! Thanks for stopping by and checking out my new chapter! I hope you've had a good week.
What do you guys think about the chapter? Some of you guessed where they are and what is happening from the start. Did you?
So, I have a question for you guys. Would you like me to do a kind of flashback chapter to the missing pieces of their relationship in captivity, or just move on with the story? I have it in my head what happened there, but haven't written it and I do have the next chapter otherwise written. If you did want that, I might not be able to post the chapter next week, as my semester is getting even crazier than it has been. Please let me know what you think!
Thank-you so much to those who reviewed! I'm getting back to you as soon as I can, life is insane, but I do really appreciate hearing your thoughts.
Thanks again for reading!
