Alphabet
"Hmm, no, no, I don't think that's it," Spencer frowned, looking at the computer screen on his kitchen counter as he sipped his juice.
"What are you looking up?" Carly asked, coming downstairs, running a brush quickly through her hair.
"Well, I was sculpting my giant statue of tambourines," he explained. "And I got to thinking…who the heck invented the alphabet?"
"Ah, yes, I always think about that when I play with tambourines," Carly smiled.
"Are you mocking me?"
"No, no, not at all," Carly laughed. "So who invented the alphabet?"
"I don't know!" Spencer exclaimed. "The stupid Internet isn't giving me a straight answer!"
Carly gave a fake gasp. "But the Internet never fails!"
"You know, I could do without the sarcasm, thank you!" Spencer snapped. He stormed off to his bedroom just as Sam ran into the apartment. "Hey! Hey guess what?"
"What?" Carly asked. "Did you finally find out where that butcher throws out his leftover meats?"
"No, but I've got it narrowed down to three dumpsters," Sam said. She unzipped her backpack and pulled out a black t-shirt and tossed it to Carly. "Look what I just got at the mall."
"Um, a Galaxy Wars t-shirt?" Carly frowned, unfolding the shirt.
"Yeah, isn't it awesome?" Sam grinned.
"Well, I-I guess," Carly shrugged. "I just never thought I'd live to see the day when Sam Puckett would willingly wear a Galaxy Wars shirt. I guess dating Freddie's really starting to take its toll on you."
"The shirt's not for me, Carls," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "It's for Freddie! You know how he's always going out and buying me presents and chiz for no good reason? Well, now I decided I could give it a try. I saw this at that nerd shop at the mall this morning and I thought he'd love it."
"Aw, that's sweet," Carly said, tossing the shirt back to Sam. "When are you gonna give it to him?"
"Now, I just knocked on his door and told him to get over here," Sam said. "He just had to finish letting his mom steam him for ticks."
About ten seconds later Freddie entered the apartment, coughing slightly.
"I swear, I'm starting to think the tick baths were better than that thing," Freddie mumbled.
"I told you, you say the word, and my Uncle Carmine-"
"Sam, baby, I don't want you to have my mother 'taken care of'," Freddie sighed. "I mean, as much as I appreciate the offer…"
"Hey, I only offer his services to certain people, and someone made the cut," Sam said, kissing him.
"Well I am honored," Freddie chuckled.
"Oh, stop being adorable and just give your boyfriend his present," Carly said.
"Present?" Freddie repeated. "What present?"
"Well, I decided to be an even more amazing girlfriend than I already am and get you this!" Sam said proudly, handing him the shirt.
"Oh…wow," Freddie smiled, unfolding the shirt. "This is…this is pretty awesome, baby!"
"You like it?" Sam asked.
"Like it?" Freddie scoffed. "Try love."
"Aw, I knew you would," Sam said, wrapping her arms around him. "I saw it at the mall and I thought it would be just perfect for you."
"Well…it sure is," Freddie said.
"Hey, Sam?" Carly said, looking down at her phone. "Did you order a pizza and use my phone number again? Because I just got a text that there's a meat lover's special waiting in the lobby."
"Oh good, I'm starved," Sam said, untangling herself from Freddie.
"Why don't you just use your own number when you order?" Carly asked.
"Because I'm banned from the place," Sam said. "Because apparently when the delivery boy takes over an hour to deliver your pizza, it's not okay to teach him a lesson!"
"Poor pizza boy," Carly said as Sam hurried down to the lobby to retrieve her snack. She turned to Freddie, who was still staring at his new shirt. "Hey, you gonna go put that on?"
"Um…maybe-maybe some other time," Freddie said.
"Well, I think Sam would really like it if you wore it," Carly said. "She was really excited about giving it to you."
"I'll wear it," Freddie said. "You know, some time when I won't be around people with eyes."
"What are you saying? You don't like the shirt?" Carly frowned.
"It's not that I don't like the shirt," Freddie sighed. "It's just…I wouldn't exactly ever buy it for myself."
"Oh my God, you hate the shirt!" Carly exclaimed.
"Shh! I don't 'hate' it!" Freddie hissed.
"Well what's wrong with it?" Carly demanded. "You love Galaxy Wars! Your room is plastered in stupid posters with Proton Cruisers and Sky Naughts and light stick thingies!"
"Yes, I know that," Freddie nodded. "But it's just…this shirt's a little on the nerdy side."
"Of course it is! It's Galaxy Wars!"
"Even in the Galaxy Wars community, this is considered major dork apparel," Freddie mumbled. "I mean its got so many inaccuracies on it I'm surprised it's even allowed to be sold. Besides, in case you haven't noticed, I don't bring any of my Galaxy Wars stuff to school or anything! If I wore this shirt to school people would never let me live it down."
"Dude, it's not secret to anybody at school that you love Galaxy Wars," Carly said, crossing her arms.
"I know, but still, wearing this t-shirt would just be asking to be beaten up," Freddie said.
"Unbelievable," Carly said, shaking her head. "Sam finally goes and does something nice for you for no reason, and you don't appreciate it."
"I appreciate it!" Freddie said quickly. "I really do! It means a lot to me that she would buy me this, especially since I know she hates Galaxy Wars herself. But, you know…that doesn't really help the fact that this shirt is…not the best. I mean don't you remember how much you hated that baseball cap that Chet guy you were dating last month gave you? You never wore it, but you let him think it was the best present you ever got. I can do the same thing with Sam here."
"Well…okay," Carly sighed. "But will you please just make sure you wear it once so she can see it? Even if it's on a day where we just stay in here? It would mean a lot."
"Yeah, okay," Freddie nodded.
"Mama's back with the food!" Sam said, returning in the elevator with a pizza box. She looked over at Freddie. "You don't want to try on your shirt, baby?"
"Um…I-Not if we're having pizza!" Freddie said smoothly. "You think I would risk smearing this shirt with pizza grease? As if!"
Sam smiled. "Good idea."
"Alright," Spencer said, coming back into the room with a large encyclopedia. "If the Internet can't help me, I'll do this the medieval way and look up the alphabet in this thing!"
"They have offline encyclopedias?" Sam frowned. "Whoa! Since when?"
…
"Hey, I smell pancakes!" Freddie said brightly the next morning, walking into the Shay's apartment.
"Yeah, that's our new pancake scented candle," Carly said, nodding over at the burning candle on the counter. "All we've got over here for breakfast is shredded wheat."
"Well…that's misleading," Freddie said. "And aren't you a little…worried about having candles near Spencer?"
"Nah, for some reason he can never actually manage to light a candle," Carly said. "The wick just won't burn for him."
"How ironic," Freddie said.
"Where are the pancakes?" Sam asked, bursting into the apartment, her giant fork drawn.
"It's just a candle," Carly told her.
"Aw man! You can't do that to a person!" Sam pouted. She looked over at her boyfriend. "Hey? You-You aren't going to wear your shirt to school?"
"Oh!" Freddie said, caught off guard. "I-I-yeah. Of-Of course I am. I just-I thought we were going to be eating pancakes over here so I wore this ratty old shirt so I wouldn't get syrup on the one you gave me. But, um, since-since we're clearly not having pancakes, I guess-I guess there's really no reason for me to not put on the shirt now!"
"Okay, well, hurry up, I want to see how it looks on you," Sam told him.
"Okay…" Freddie said with a strained smile. "I'll be right back…"
"Hey, did I leave my pork rinds upstairs the other day?" Sam asked as Freddie went back to his apartment.
"Yes, and you realize you left a huge pile of crumbs up there?" Carly said. "You should really be more careful and-yup. She's gone."
"Hey, I hope you guys saved me some pancakes!" Gibby said, entering the apartment. He spotted the candle on the counter. "Oh man! I was tricked again by a candle? This is like Dingo World all over again!"
"Okay, Sam," Freddie said, coming back into the apartment, wearing his new Galaxy War shirt and a plastered on smile. "I'm wearing-hey. Where is she?"
"Upstairs, probably eating stale pork rinds," Carly said.
"Dude, that shirt's horrible," Gibby frowned.
"Hey! It happens to be a gift from Sam!" Freddie defended.
"Why? What'd you do to her?"
"Oh man, you see? Even Gibby thinks the shirt is lame!" Freddie moaned.
"I thought you weren't going to wear it in public," Carly pointed out. "What happened? You can't say no to Sam?"
"Come on, Carly, you know if I told her I didn't want to wear this shirt to school she would murder me," Freddie said. "I don't want to hurt her feelings or deal with the bruises."
"Oh come on, she wouldn't hurt you," Carly said.
Freddie gave her a look.
"Okay…maybe she would a little."
"Anyway, I've got it all taken care of for school," Freddie said, pulling a hoodie out of his backpack. "I'll just wear this over it. No one will see it, Sam will be happy I'm wearing the shirt. It's a win-win."
"Um, you do realize it's like, ninety degrees outside," Carly said. "Not exactly hoodie weather."
"I'll just say I think I'm coming down with a cold or something," Freddie shrugged.
"Hey, looking hot, Fredward," Sam smiled, coming back downstairs with her bag of pork rinds.
"Only because I'm in this shirt," Freddie said, taking his girlfriend's hand. "Now come on; we'd better get to school."
…
"Man, does this school not believe in air conditioning?" Freddie panted, moping the sweat off his brow with the sleeve of his hoodie.
"I think they have this crazy idea that kids generally dress according the season," Carly said, somewhat amused as the two teens stood by their lockers after school that day. "Dude, come on, why don't you just take the hoodie off?"
"Because I can't be seen in this shirt, Carly!" Freddie snapped.
"Well then just suffer through the heat!" Carly said.
"Believe me," Freddie said. "This is nothing to the pain I'd be in if Sam found out how I feel about this shirt," Freddie said. "She'd probably kick me right in the-"
"Hey Sam!" Carly said loudly, signaling for Freddie's to be quiet.
"Hey," Sam replied. She looked over at Freddie. "Whoa. You don't look good."
"Thanks," Freddie mumbled.
"You know what I think you need?" Sam said. "Fresh air. Come on, let's go to the park for a little bit."
"The-The park?" Freddie frowned. "You mean right now? In the heat of the day?"
"Yeah, you probably just need to sweat this thing out of your system," Sam nodded. "Then you'll feel better."
"Well, have fun you two," Carly said, trying not to laugh at Freddie's expression.
"Come on," Sam said, taking his hand as Carly walked off.
"Okay," Freddie said weakly.
The couple walked across the street to the large park, where the sun was glaring down. Freddie cursed internally at the sight of the many people present. If only the shirt wasn't so humiliating!
"Come on, let's sit," Sam said, pulling him over to a bench right underneath the sun's glare.
"Um…wouldn't you rather go sit in the shade?" Freddie asked.
"Nope," Sam said simply.
"Oh…well alright," Freddie sighed, sitting down next to her, frying.
"You know, baby, you look really hot," Sam said.
"Thanks," Freddie mumbled.
"No, I mean literally hot," Sam said. "Maybe you're sweating too much. Why don't you just take your hoodie off and-"
"No!" Freddie said quickly. "I mean…I'm fine. Really."
"No, come on, just take it off," Sam said.
"No, I-"
"You're going to get heat stroke, and then I'm going to have to explain it to your wacko mother," Sam said, grabbing the sleeves of his hoodie, trying to yank it over his head. "So just cooperate and-"
"Sam! No!" Freddie exclaimed. "I don't want to take my hoodie off."
Sam narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "Freddie," she said softly. "Why won't you take your hoodie off?"
"Er, because," Freddie said. "I-I, um."
Sam shook her head. "I knew it."
"Knew what?" Freddie frowned.
"That you're afraid of me!" Sam said, leaning back in the bench miserably. "You're so afraid to tell me that you hate that shirt that you're willing to melt to avoid it!"
"I don't hate this shirt!" Freddie said quickly. "I-"
"Give it a rest," Sam mumbled. "You're faker than Ginger Fox's new nose."
"You-You knew?" Freddie asked. "Sam, baby, I'm sorry. I know you probably though I would love this, but-"
"No I didn't!" Sam snapped. "I bought that shirt because I knew you'd hate it! I asked the guy at the store to give me the shirt that would disgust a Galaxy Wars fan the most, and that's what he gave me!"
"What?" Freddie exclaimed. "Why?"
"Because I wanted to see if it was true!" Sam said. "What everyone says at school…that you're afraid of me…I wanted to see if you'd actually look me in the eye and just tell me the truth like a normal person instead of doing all this!"
"People say I'm afraid of you?" Freddie asked softly.
"Yeah," Sam answered glumly. "And now I know it's true."
"No it's not," Freddie said quickly.
Sam looked up at him. "Freddie…what was the reason you didn't tell me how you felt about the shirt?"
"Because I didn't want to hurt your feelings," Freddie replied at once.
"Yeah, that may have been a little part of the reason," Sam sighed. "But no one would spend an entire afternoon in the middle of a heat wave sweating in a hot hoodie just to protect someone's feelings. Not even you. Come on, you know you were afraid that I would pound you or something."
Freddie didn't reply.
"Yeah, I thought so," Sam said.
"Sam…I-I don't know what to say," Freddie said. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad…" Sam said. "I just…I just don't want you to be afraid of me, okay? I know I'm not exactly a 'gentle' person, but..I care about you. And I would never actually hurt you. Bruise you, maybe, but I wouldn't ever do something terrible to you."
Freddie smiled. "I know that," he said, leaning down to kiss her. "And you know what? I think this was a good lesson for both of us. We need to know that we can be absolutely honest with each other about anything. That's important for a couple."
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "But let's get home, baby. You need to cool off."
"Eh," Freddie shrugged, peeling off his hoodie. "I think I'll be fine now."
"But people are gonna see that shirt," Sam said. "Which, by the way, is just so ugly."
"Maybe," Freddie agreed. "But you know what? I realized I don't care. The point is that it was bought for me by my amazing, beautiful girlfriend. Even if she did have ulterior motives with it. And because of that, I think this may be my new favorite shirt."
