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Chapter 8

Kenny's POV

I know Karen threatened to go to the police, but I can't help myself. I need my fix. I feel safest when I'm at home. She's out with Drew so it was the perfect time for me to high. There's a knock on my door and I quickly hide my stash under my pillow. "Come in!" I yell out.

"Dude!" Kyle walks in my room. I'm shocked to see him. It's been months!

"Hey dude!" I get up and give him a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you could use a friend."

"Thanks, it does get lonely around here without my friends." I sit down on the bed. "I mean I see Stan every so often, but it's not the same."

Kyle turns my head to the side. "What happened to your face?" He's referring to a red mark on my face. That came from Kevin slapping me when I OD'ed.

"Kevin…we had a disagreement." I lie.

Kyle raises his eyebrow. "You got into a fight?"

I shrug. "Something like that."

"I'm going to cut to the chase. Why are you shooting up heroin?" Kyle asks bluntly.

"Wow, way to be blunt." I can feel myself turning red with embarrassment.

"I'm serious Kenny. Your sister called me and she's really worried about you. She told me you almost died! This is why I came out here!"

"I went a little overboard the other day, that's all."

Kyle narrows his eyes. "That's all? Again, you could've died dude! How long have you been on drugs?"

"Almost six years."

"Really Kenny? Since you've had a kid! Dude!"

I turn away from him. "I can't stop."

"Not even for your son?"

"I want to, but it's so hard. I need it to get through the day."

"Can't you find something else? Get a hobby! I mean, I'm not trying to judge you, I really want to help."

"You wouldn't understand, no one understands..." I look down. I can feel my high coming down.

"I want to understand."

I look at him. "You'll never understand how it feels to have to raise a child alone at 16! You'll never understand how it feels to be 21 and still in high school! You'll never understand what it's like to be in love with a girl who doesn't love you back! You'll never understand how it feels to see your friends move on in life while you're at a standstill. You'll never understand how it feels to not know how you're going to feed your child day after day? You'll never understand how it feels to be complete failure in life! I could go on, but I think you get the point!"

"How does shooting up heroin make any of that better?"

"It helps me forget all my problems and I'm happy."

Kyle shakes his head. "That's only temporary. Once you sober up, the problems are still there."

"That's why I get high again."

"Dude, some of these problems you can change yourself. You don't need drugs."

"It's hard Kyle. I need it!"

"No you don't! You need rehab!"

"I-I can't afford it…" Even though Kyle is one of best friends, it's still embarrassing telling him that I can't afford things. Money has never been an issue for him and Stan so they don't understand my struggles.

"Go ahead and sign up. Don't worry about the cost, I'll take care of it."

I look at him in shock. "You would do that for me?"

He nods. "Of course dude. You're my friend. I don't want to see anything bad happen to you."

"I don't know what to say."

Kyle smiles and puts his hand on my shoulder. "Say you'll go to rehab. If not for yourself then for Drew! Even Karen, she's really worried about you."

Everyone knows the right words to say. "I feel horrible that she had to see me like that. She was really emotional."

"She loves you. She doesn't want to see this take you out."

"I feel like I've disappointed her. When my parents use to come home drunk or high, she would cry because she was afraid for them and I would comfort her. Now she's crying because she's afraid for me. Who's going to comfort her?"

"The best thing you can do for her is get help. That would be the best comfort you can give her."

My phone begins to ring. I look and see Kevin is calling. I would be stupid if I ignored his call. "Sorry, I have to take this." I tell Kyle. "Hello?" I answer.

"I have another client for you! Come meet me right now!" Kevin orders.

I look at Kyle and I can see a look of concern on his face. "I can't…I have company."

"Are you fucking someone without getting paid? How stupid are you?"

I chuckle. "No, it's not like that. It's Kyle, he came to visit."

"Well get rid of him and come meet me. This lady is paying more than Ms. Cartman did! I didn't think you were worth it, but I guess I was wrong."

"He came all the way from Princeton." I try to explain.

"Is he giving you money? Or drugs?"

"No, but-"

"No buts! Get rid of him and meet me in the alleyway on South Street!"

The alleyway I try to avoid. Why am I meeting him there? "Give me an hour."

"You have twenty minutes. If I have to come get you, it's going to be a problem!" He threatens just before hanging up.

I look at Kyle. "I hate to cut this short, but-"

"I don't want to be in your business, but who was that?" Kyle asks cutting me off.

"That was Kevin. I have to meet him."

Kyle looks as if he's ready to kill Kevin. "He's going to take you to get more drugs, isn't he?"

"Something like that."

"Dude! You said you would get help!"

I nod. "I will, I just have to do something for Kevin. I promise!"

"I can't believe he's enabling you like this. What kind of piece of shit brother is he?"

I stand up and point at Kyle. "Don't talk about him like that! He helps take care of me!"

"By making sure you keep getting high? He's keeping you down instead of lifting you up. How can you not see that?"

"If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be able to send Drew to Montessori school nor would we be able to eat every day."

"You can send him to public school and get a job!"

"I'm not sending him to public school! Not if I can help it!"

Kyle frowns. "What's wrong with public school? We went to public school."

"You don't know what it's like to be the poor kid in public school! The teachers don't give a shit about you and the other kids ridicule you." I sigh. "Drew is the smelly kid at school unfortunately. His teacher was kind enough to give me her laundry mat card so I can wash his clothes. It was really nice to see a teacher so caring. He wouldn't get that kind of support in public school. If anything, child services would be called. It happened to me plenty of times as a kid!"

"Damn dude, I didn't know you felt like that. Maybe Drew wouldn't have that experience."

"I'm not taking that risk. He's a shy and sensitive kid. He wouldn't know how to handle being bullied or if someone tried to take him from me. I just want to protect him the best way I can."

Kyle nods in agreement. "I understand that, but you have to be realistic. You can't afford it. Is it really worth having your brother pay for it for you? Especially when he's giving you drugs in return."

"It's more to it than that."

"You've opened up this much, you might as well tell me."

"I'm too embarrassed to say…" I really don't want it getting out that I'm sleeping around for money and drugs. I don't want him to think the worst of me.

"I'll tell you what he's doing!" I look up and before I know it, Cartman is in my room and he shoves me to the ground.

"Cartman? What the hell are you doing in my house?"

"You fucked my mom, you dirty bastard!" He tries to attack me, but Kyle holds him back.

"What?" Kyle looks at me in shock.

"Dude, Cartman!" Fuck! I can't believe he found out! His mom promised me he wouldn't.

"You want to know what he's doing Kyle? He's fucking women for money! He's a man whore!" Cartman tells him. Well he only knows half of it.

"Get the hell out of here!" Kyle tells me as he pushes him towards the door.

"The Jew can't protect you forever! The next time I see you, you're a dead man McCormick! DEAD!" Cartman threatens before leaving.

"Is that true?" Kyle asks me as he helps me up.

"I can't talk about this right now. I have to meet Kevin."

"Kenny, he's going to get you killed one way or another! You need to stop this! Don't you see that your brother is a bad influence?"

"I need the money…you just don't get it." I put on my shoes. "Thank you for continuing to be my friend and not judging me. I need more friends like you." I hug him.

Kyle raises his eyebrow. "Why are you talking like it's a goodbye?"

"I have to go Kyle. You can see yourself out." I tell him as I rush out. I hear him calling out to me, but I have to hurry and meet Kevin. Cartman being pissed at me is one thing, but Kevin being pissed is on another level.