Thanks for the reviews! This is a filler chapter, hope you enjoy it!
Chapter 15
Kenny's POV
When we got back to Stan's apartment, Drew was still crying and upset by my outburst. Kyle took him to Stan's room to calm him down. I feel a little guilty because as a father, I should be the one comforting him, but how can I do that when I'm the reason he's crying?
Megan stepped outside to make a phone call and I'm in the living room patiently waiting for Kyle and Drew to come out. After about a good 45 minutes, Kyle comes in the living room alone. "How is he?" I ask as I stand up.
"He's sound asleep." Kyle whispers.
"Good." I look at the ground. "It's crazy that you and Stan are better at comforting my son than I am…" I tell Kyle.
"Come on dude, you do your best."
"My best is never good enough..." I sit down and Kyle sits down beside me.
"Don't beat yourself up. If it will make you feel better, go in there and give him a good night kiss." He suggests.
I shake my head. "I probably shouldn't."
"Go oh dude, he's your son."
"But now he knows about my drug use and he saw me lose my temper."
Kyle shrugs. "That's okay, you're not the first parent to lose their temper in front of their kid. You can apologize in the morning and sit him down and explain things to him. But for now, give him a kiss."
"I better not…I don't want to wake him." I lie. The truth is, I'm really feeling ashamed of myself and I can't face him yet.
Kyle rolls his eyes. I know he's feeling disappointed in me, but I guess he's not going to force the issue. "I also think it's time for you to have a conversation with Megan…"
I nod in agreement. "I want to explain things to Drew first before I talk to her."
"Why put it off?"
"It's going to be hard enough talking to Drew. I have to find the right words to say."
"That's understandable, but I don't see how it is to tell the girl that if there's no real future for you two, then stop spending time with my kid?"
He really doesn't get it. "Megan and I are friends and I don't really see that changing. Once I talk to Drew, things will change."
He shrugs. "Maybe, maybe not. Drew is only 5. Who knows he may not fully understand what's going on."
That's something we both can agree on. "I want you and Stan there when I talk to him."
"Why?" Kyle asks raising his eyebrow suspiciously.
"He's going to need you guys to comfort him."
He shakes his head. "No dude, that should be a private conversation between the two of you. You can and should comfort him."
"He responds better to you two." He knows that as well as I do.
"Now will be your chance for him to have comfort for you. He's your son, you know how to comfort him!" Kyle smiles and pats me on the back.
"I'm so nervous." I slap my forehead. "Why did Brad have to bring up my drug use in front of Drew?"
"He's a dick for that, but," there's always a but with him, "you should've been honest with Drew when you got out of rehab."
"I wasn't ready to tell him."
"Now you have to."
"I don't know what to say. Help me think of the right words. You're good at these things!" I can feel myself panicking.
Kyle grabs me and lightly shakes me. "Dude, relax! Speak from your heart. Come on dude, this is your son."
"I just don't want him to hate me." I tell him as I look away.
"That would never happen. You're worried for nothing." I hope he's right. I'm now thinking about my own childhood when my siblings and I found out about my parent's addiction problems. It changed our relationship forever and not in a good way. I'm afraid the same will happen with Drew.
The next morning, I go in Stan's room to check on Drew. Stan and Kyle reluctantly agreed to be on standby in case Drew needs them. I tap Drew on the shoulder. "Hey buddy, are you awake?"
"Hi daddy." He replies as he turns over.
I sit down on the bed. "Listen Drew, daddy has something very important to talk to you about."
"Okay..." He sits up.
I clear my throat nervously. "I'm sure you heard some things about me last night and I want to clear the air…"
"About you doing drugs?" A part of me really hoped he forgot that he heard that so this conversation would be slightly easier.
"Yes…" I take a few deep breaths. "See Drew, sometimes grownups do things they're not supposed to. They know it's wrong and can hurt a lot of people they love, but they do it anyway. That's what happened to me." I take another deep breath. "I've been addicted to a drug called heroin for 6 years now. I'm in recovery. I went to a place called rehab to get help. That's why I was gone for a month."
"Aunt Karen said you were sick."
I nod. "In a way, drug addiction is an illness. I'm doing better without it, but I won't lie, there are times when I want it."
"Why?"
"It's all a part of being an addict. I'm doing my best not to start up old habits though."
Drew looks down and sniffles. "I don't want you to leave me again. I was really sad when you were gone." I realize he's now crying.
I put my arm around him and pull him closer to me. "I know buddy, I missed you so much while I was away. But I did that for you. You deserve to have a dad that's not on drugs."
"Is it true that you met Megan when you were gone?"
I nod."Yes, that's true."
"So she's addicted to drugs too?"
This kid really didn't miss anything. I nod again. "Like me, she's fighting her addiction. Is there anything else you want to ask me?"
"Can you promise you'll never leave again?"
I should've known that was coming. "I'm going to try my best, but I can't make that promise."
"Not even for me?" He pokes out his bottom lip.
I hug him. "You know what? For you, I will make that promise."
He hugs me as tight as he can. "Thank you daddy! I don't want you to be sick anymore. It's making you mean!"
I look at him in shock. "You think so?" He nods slowly. "How so?"
"You were yelling at that man last night." He looks away. Goddamn Brad!
"I'm sorry you had to see that side of me. He was being a jerk and I got tired of it!"
"You scared me!"
"Again, I'm sorry." I feel like I've said that 100 times during this chat.
"You're mean at home too…"
I'm completely taken aback by that. "Really?"
He nods slowly. "You never want to play with me and you always kick me out of our room."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm going to do better. I wish you had told me you felt this way before."
"I was scared to. I thought you would be mad."
"I could never be mad at you. It just would've made me aware sooner." I grab him and hug him again. "I know I keep saying it, but you'll never understand how truly sorry I am. I love you so much Drew."
"I love you too daddy." That conversation went better than expected. I didn't even need Kyle and Stan's help with Drew. Now I have to have a conversation with Megan…
