My whole name (Princess Amara of the Sand) is too long so from now on, I'll be using Amara-chan or Amara-sama, or just Amara. And godamnit! I'm so sorry I didn't update! Stupid me kept getting distracted by Paint Tool Sai, I'm trying to make Konaishi, and my ex and his friend are getting so annoying ._. But look on the bright side! Konaishi's picture is almost done! I'm only making her 11-year-old self, but don't worry, I'm making the genin, chunnin and jounin picture of her! And just so you know, in the last chapter of this story, all of you will be shocked! I hope! And please take the time to read my author's note in the end of this chapter, otherwise you're going to be accusing me of copying somebody else's work!

And I'm very excited for this chapter! You guys will meet two very interesting people! And this is just part one, so that means you will meet the other person in part two of this chapter!

Well, that's done now.

But holy shit! I haven't been up to date with Naruto so I only found out yesterday that Neji died! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! He can't die! What about Tenten?! Neji you stupid mofo! Why did you have to die?! Why Kishimoto, why did you have to kill him?! Yes, he was annoying when he kept talking about destiny crap, but he's awesome! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?!

And my rant is over. Time to make someone say the Disclaimer!

Me: Tobi-kun?! Can you pwease say the disclaimer for Amara-chan? *pouts*

Toby: Tobi will do the disclaimer for Amara-chan!

Me: Thank you, Tobi-kun! Amara-chan wuvs you! (Not as much as Gaara, though)

Toby: Yay! Amara-chan loves Tobi!

Me: Yes I do, but can you please do the disclaimer now? I will give you cookies!

Toby: Tobi is sorry! He forgot! Amara-chan does not own Naruto! And there will be a lot of swearing!

Me: Aww! Tobi's a good boy! *hands him cookies I stole from Konaishi*

Konaishi: HEY! THAT'S MY COOKIES! *chases me with an ax*


Konaishi's POV

Okay, so to make my life more awesome-r, I've made a list of things to do since I've been cooped up in this house for over a week.

1. Get a kiss from Gaara

2. If number one fails, get a hug from Gaara

3. If number two fails, make Gaara smile.

4. If number three fails, eat ice cream and listen to Adele songs.

5. Ask random people if they want to see my belly button.

6. Out of nowhere, or when it is quiet, say loud "When I say 'Hey y'all, you say 'Hey hobo!', Hey y'all" and see how many people say "Hey hobo!"

7. Wear shirt that says "Life". Hand out lemons to random people. (That reminds me, I have that T-shirt in my backpack! I did this kind of thing too many times in the real world!)

8. Find a snail and name it "The Speed of Light." Tell everyone that I can run faster than The Speed of Light

9. Point at random people and laugh in an evil voice.

10. Go up to someone and start telling them my *fake* life story dramatically.

11. Get my fart app and play it on people, then accuse them.

12. Do a crazy jig.

13. Have a serious conversation with an animal, and if anyone asks why I'm talking to them, glare at the person and say,"Can't you see that I'm an animal whisperer? Geeze, what a dummy."

14. Smear chocolate in my hand, and go up to people saying, "Hey, how're you doing?" and try to shake their hand.

15. Randomly go up to someone and say in a very low voice, "Death by Spongebob's spatula."

16. When someone curses, cover my ear and yell,"Oh, the fucking profanity!"

17. Look at a see-through glass mirror (preferably outside of a store with a see through glass window) and when someone is on the other side, yell,"OH KAMI! I LOOK HIDEOUS!"

18. Find an old random guy and yell,"GRANDPA! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE! IT'S A MIRACLE!"

19. Throw a watermelon in front of someone and watch them get splashed by it.

20. Hug a tree and when people walk by, say "We're having a moment."

21. Walk to a random guy (preferably 20 or older) and say,"Look old man, I don't want your candy! You're a pedophile!"

22. Find a guy my age and propose to them with a ringpop.

Extra on the list:

1. Find a store that sells seaweed and raw fish. There will be more moments that I would have to smack Kankuro's face with a fish.

2. Get a pedo-bear costume and stalk Gaara...I mean "investigate."

3. Find a chunnin or a jounin that will be willing to train me. With these slow legs of mine, I'm pretty sure I won't be going to the Chunnin Exams anytime soon and see my beloved Gaara change from being Mr. Killy-Killy Time to Mr. I'm-Going-To-Be-A-Good-Guy.

4. If number 3 is a success, I shall put the person into a test (hey! that sounds like something Zecora from My Little Pony would say!): The Annoying Konaishi Test

5. Write steps on how to annoy Gaara.

So my list sounds pretty good! I'm off to complete this quest!


Number one through number 4 on the list

I walked around Suna to look for my beloved Gaara. I've been looking for him for about 2 hours, actually. Because of the long wait, I've decided to look for a store that sells candy, so I could be more hyper and not get tired of walking around. Several moments later, I saw a glimpse of Gaara's red hair.

"Hey, hey! Panda-kun!" I ran to him as he turned his head and gave me a death glare. I shrugged it off, I'm kinda used to it...and for some odd reason, it makes him look hot and dangerous...but he's already dangerous, so that means he's become a lot more hotter.

"Hello there, my beloved Panda-kun! Can I get a kiss from you so I could go on with my list? Pwease?" I pouted.

"Get lost." He said and started to walk away. I quickly crossed out the number one on the list and continued on.

"Well, can I get a hug then?" I asked.

"No." He glared more at me. I crossed out number two on the list.

"Wait, can you please stay here?" I asked, trying to stall him here so I could get a clown mask that I've bought earlier and make him smile.

"No." Just that, he just disappeared along the sand.

"So much for trying to make him smile..." I mumbled as I crossed out number 3. Oh well, I guess it's time I buy ice cream and listen to depressing Adele songs that I downloaded on my iPod.

Yay, I thought sarcastically.


Number 5 through number 11 on the list

After my depressing attempt of things on Gaara, I walked to a random girl about my age or a bit older ,with chin-length hair the color of ash brown and pretty purple eyes, and asked, "Hey, girl, wanna see my belly button?"

The girl answered,"Who the fuck are you, creeper!"

Then she ran away from me. Trying to make number 5 on the list interesting, I chased the girl for about 10 minutes, until she bonked my head.

"Ow!" I cried and touched the big bump.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" The girl cried with me, "I didn't mean to bonk you! You just seemed like a creepyass girl!"

I gasped dramatically and pointed at her,"I am not a creepyass girl! You are!"

"No I'm not! You were the one who randomly came up to me and asked if I want to see your belly button! Talk about being crazy." The girl who I have yet to know her name said.

I stroked my invisible, but beautiful beard and said in an old man voice,"Hai, hai, you have a great point, young one..."

"You talk funny! I like you!" The girl suddenly hugged me.

"And you're weird too," I lightly pushed her away from me,"What is your name?"

"I am Yoshida Tomoko!" Tomoko made a peace sign.

"Who are you? I have never seen you here before." She asked.

"I'm Kurosu Konaishi! Nice to meet you Tomoko-chan!" I smiled a close-eyed smile, like what Kakashi does.

"So why were you asking strangers to if they want to see your belly button?"

"I was bored, so I made a list of fun things to do." I showed her the list and she read it. After a few moments, she looked at me and asked if she could do the list with me.

"The more, the better!" I grabbed her wrist and told her that the next thing we'll be doing is number 6.

"Okay, I'll yell 'Hey y'all!' and you yell 'Hey hobo!' Our goal is to get as much people to say 'Hey hobo!' too, got it?" Tomoko nodded excitedly. We walked to an area in Suna where there are a lot of people.

I yelled very loudly,"When I say 'Hey y'all, you say 'Hey hobo!', Hey y'all!"

Tomoko got the signal and yelled,"Hey hobo!"

I repeated what I yelled again, and this time, many people yelled it. I walked back to Tomoko and high-fived her.

"Success!" I said as I crossed out number 6 and went on with the list.

"So you know the quote "When life gives you lemons..." shit? You'll be doing that because I only have one of this T-shirt." I handed her the yellow T-shirt with 'Life' on it.

"Wait, where are we going to get the lemons?" Tomoko asked.

"Don't worry I bought lemons earlier, and I stole a basket from Temari." I handed her the basket with lemons. How did I get the money to buy these lemons? Well, let's just say I steal from Kankuro, but don't tell him that.

"Go! I'll be pretending to be a random person passing by." She raced to random people and I snickered at them when I passed. We did this until there were no more lemons.

"Number 7 is a success. Off to number 8!" Tomoko said.

"Do you know where to find snails?" I asked Tomoko.

She put her index finger on her chin,"Hai. There's one training area that have grasses and is somehow always wet. I know the way there, follow me."

I followed her to a training area and looked for a snail. When I finally found one, I picked it up and me and Tomoko ran back to a big crowd.

"Hey little snail! I'll be naming you 'The Speed of Light', mkay?" I placed the snail next to me, and announced to the crowd that I can run faster than The Speed of Light.

"Oh yeah, prove it!" A guy my age shouted.

Tomoko and I glanced at each other, then we both nodded. I smirked.

"Alright! Ready, set, go!" Tomoko yelled and I dashed 20 feet forward slowly.

"See! I can run faster than Speed of Light!" I did a Gai pose.

"What the hell was that! You run like a turtle! You're not faster than the speed of light!" The same guy who yelled at me to prove it yelled at me again.

"Yeah I am! Look at The Speed of Light!" I pointed to the snail.

"That's...The Speed of Light..?" The guy asked. I nodded happily and the guy anime fell while the crowd sweatdropped. I quickly snuck out of the crowd with Tomoko, who snickered quietly.

"Okay, number 9!" I declared once we were out of sight from he crowd.

"Point at random people and laugh in an evil voice. Let's do this one together!" We walked to a different part of Suna where there are a good amount of people.

"Alright, let's do this!" Tomoko exclaimed. I shushed her and she apologized. I pointed at a woman and me and Tomoko laughed in our evilest voices. The woman walked away and looked at us like we were a couple of weirdos, which is what we probably look like right now.

Tomoko then pointed to a young boy and we laugh evilly and the boy suddenly got scared and told his mommy. Tomoko and I looked at each other before she yelled 'RUN!' and we ran away, laughing.

"Heh, that was mean, Tomoko-chan!" I said as soon as I recovered from laughing.

"Eh, I never really like kids, maybe only cute ones, and that little boy wasn't cute anyway." She shrugged.

"Hmm...number 10," Tomoko read,"'Go up to someone and start telling them my *fake* life story dramatically.' Ooh! Can I do this one?! Not to brag, but I'm pretty good at making sad stories."

I nodded,"Do what you want to do, I'll just watch you and the person like a creeper." I walked away and sat near a person Tomoko decided to tell her fake story to.

"—And t-then the scary guy c-chased me, and then I h-hit a wall and t-then the next thing you know, h-he t-turned...HE TURNED INTO A CREEPY CLOWN!" Tomoko faked cried. If I had not known that she's doing one of the pranks I listen, I would've believed that she's actually crying.

I watched as the man tried to comfort Tomoko without seeming like he made her cry.

"Well, I've encountered—" The man started but when Tomoko saw me trying not to laugh, she cut off what the man was saying and stopped crying and walked away like nothing happened.

"Nice one, Tomoko. Alright, number 11 is to accuse someone that they were the one that farted. Sounds good!" I said as I pulled out my iPod and Tomoko stared at it weirdly. I opened my 'Fart Express' app and turned the volume to the max. I shook my iPod and a big fart sound came. Everybody looked in my direction and I pointed at a random guy, but I didn't really looked at who it was.

Man, do I regret not looking, because I pointed at a buffy guy and everyone got quiet that you could even hear the quiet sound of the breeze. The buff guy glared at me and Tomoko and I ran for the second time this day, but this time, we were running for our lives.

Yes, shit just got real.


Amara-chan's Serious Author's Note:

Hey guys, you might've read Ninja-Bunny-Master's Story, "This Is A Joke Right!" Gaara love story. I am in no way trying to copy her work. I've already planned what this story's going to be and today I've decided to read her story again and found out that her character's last name is also Kurosaki. I am now aware that Yuki Cross's Japanese version of her last name is Kurosu. I don't want to seem like copying Ninja-Bunny-Master, that is why I'm going to change Konaishi's last name from Kurosaki to Kurosu, but because I love the name Kurosaki, that last name is going to come back in this story later on. And no, no one told me to change Konaishi's last name, it's just my decision. And I know Tatsuki, Ninja-Bunny-Master's story's character, started out as an 11-year-old in her story, and I've started mine as an 11-year-old too. This is because I wanted Konaishi and Gaara to get to know each other a bit. And about this guy I'm adding in Part 2 of this chapter, I've added him not to just become Konaishi's sensei, but because he's going to play a big part in Konaishi's life. And yes, this story has officially become a crack fic!

Well now that that is cleared up, it's time for...

...wait for it...

...WAIT FOR IT!

RANDOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM DAAAAAAAAAAAANCING!

*Every character randomly danced*

Well, this is just part one and honestly, this is the longest chapter I've written. Stay tuned for the next chapter! And Tomoko will stay a character in this story forever! Oh, the Chuunin Exams Arc will start after the following 2 or three chapters after this!