A/N: So this chapter is set during Hiatus, before Gibbs leaves for Mexico.
"I'll leave you to it, Director," said Ducky briskly, walking over to the door and tipping his head in her direction.
She didn't answer. Still clutching the thick, brown file that had the label 'PERSONNEL FILE: SPECIAL AGENT LEROY JETHRO GIBBS' printed in thick, bolded letters on the cover. She was still in shock at what she had just discovered.
She had never felt so heartbroken before. Not even Paris compared to how she was feeling now. A wife… and a child, taken from him far too soon – and in such a brutal way – how he had gotten through it, she would never know – and she didn't want to find out, either. She had always wondered what made him so guarded around her when they were together. She had always thought about the reason why it took him so long to trust and confide in her the simplest things about his life – she had always thought it was just an ex-wife that he had actually loved, or some girl that he had met a while ago – but he had a family.
And they were gone.
Sniffing slightly, she slipped a picture out of the file and stared at it. Shannon was beautiful – red hair, brown eyes that seemed to stare straight at her soul. Kelly was the perfect mix of Jethro and Shannon, having inherited the best parts of her parents and, Jenny was sure, the best traits of them, too.
She slipped the photograph back inside the file and closed it. She could not bear to look at it anymore. She wanted to look at Jethro, tell him she knew, tell him that she understood everything, understood him.
But he wouldn't be able to remember me, she reminded herself. Ducky had said he couldn't remember anything that happened for the past 15 years, and if he couldn't remember Ducky, a man he had known for more than 12 years, he certainly wouldn't be able to remember someone he had met 8 years ago.
She sighed softly. She wanted to see him more than anything, but steeled herself – there was still work to be done, after all.
~NCIS~JIBBS~NCIS~JIBBS
She couldn't believe what he was asking her to do.
"You're – you're quitting?" she asked, hardly believing the words coming out of his mouth. "You expect me to sign your resignation letter – which by the way, is literally only two lines long – to be accounting for almost 15 years of your service to NCIS."
She glanced down at the piece of paper he had handed her, which was, sure enough, only two lines long. He had written his resignation letter in scrawly handwriting, as if he had written it while drunk.
'I hereby resign as Team Leader and Special Agent of NCIS.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs.'
"I'm retiring." He corrected, shrugging at the letter. "Besides, Tony is more than ready to replace me – and you've signed resignation letters of other agents, why not mine?"
"Because NCIS is your life!" said Jenny, hardly believing this was happening. "Because Abby and Ducky and Tim and Ziva and Tony and even Jimmy is your family, always have been – they'll be heartbroken. You can't leave them, Jethro."
"I can't stay, Jen, you know I can't." he said. "There's too much I haven't – "
"You can't leave me, Jethro." She said quietly, cutting him off. "When I've only just got you back."
She stared at him, her emerald green eyes shining with tears. He stared back at her, his mouth open in shock. He seemed to collect himself after a few moments though, and he closed his mouth firmly, looking at her in an apologetic way. She caught this look, and her heart broke twice in just two days.
"I'm – I'm sorry, Jen." He said softly. "I'm – you're – I'm not – it's too fresh in my mind, Jen. I can't – give you what you need from me just yet. You need someone who'll love you – just you, and to be honest, I don't know if I'm ready to do that."
She wiped her tears away before they could escape her eyes, but that just caused more tears to well up. She closed her eyes for a few moments and looked up at the ceiling, breathing deeply.
"I'm really sorry, Jen." He repeated. "Maybe, you know, if you waited a little while – we could – you know."
"Where will you be going?" she asked softly, thankful that she didn't sound shaky.
"I thought I'd follow Mike back to Mexico." He said, gazing at her intently.
She nodded, wiping her tears again and folding her arms.
"When will you be back?" she asked.
"I don't know." He answered truthfully, almost apologetically. He realised that he was raising her hopes up when he told her to wait for him, but shooting it down again when he answered this question. He didn't want her to miss out on other opportunities for her happiness just because he might return for her.
"Listen," he said, "You don't have to – "
"I'll wait for you." She said firmly. "For as long as it takes."
She didn't look at him. She walked round the table and sat on her desk, as if he had just been dismissed. He was smiling softly at her, tilting his head a bit as if he had just saw a different side of her. Then, he bent down, grasped the back of her head firmly and pressed his lips to her forehead softly.
Before the door fully closed behind him, he saw her touching her forehead, smiling softly.
I wrote this a while back, before my examinations and I thought I'd post it before I forgot. I've written more chapters and will be posting but honestly I don't have a schedule and I don't know when I'll be updating next. I hope you guys like this chapter. Writing this story is giving me bittersweet Jibbs feels and let me just warn you that bittersweet is what you're gonna be feeling throughout the next few chapters because I'm following canon, which means Hollis Mann will be making an appearance (quite a few appearances, honestly). Please don't be mad :)
Don't forget to leave a review and have a great day!
- Natalia
