AN-Okay, so this oneshot is sort of a Victorious/iCarly/Sam&Cat crossover…I was a little hesitant about this request just because I don't write Victorious fanfiction, but the idea seemed like a really good one that I was actually hoping to see eventually in Sam&Cat, so I gave it a whirl. So I apologize if I didn't do the Bade relationship justice (I like the couple, but like I said, this is my first time ever portraying Jade or Beck in a fanfic). I had a lot of fun writing this one, so I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know how my characterizations are for Cat, Jade and Beck!
Oh, and also, in this story Sam and Freddie were together when Sam moved to L.A. It just made it easier for me to write this.
And if you're not a fan of Bade or Sam&Cat, there's another oneshot uploaded with this for you!
…..
"Now see," Sam said, typing on her laptop as the three kids her and Cat were babysitting gathered around her. "The key to a good prank email is to first make a very official sounding account. Then you need to make sure that your email sounds all real and authentic too. So no abbreviations or slang or spelling mistakes. Here, check this baby out."
"Dear. Mr. Rubenstien," one of the little boy's began to read. "We are delighted to inform you that you have been selected as the winner of our annual Sweepstakes. In order to claim your prize, you must report to city hall promptly. Please wear the appropriate attire of a chicken suit, as you will be having your picture taken for our website. We look forward to your arrival and presenting you with five hundred thousand dollars. Yours sincerely, the Cluck Bucket Fried Chicken Emporium."
"No way!" the boy's little sister grinned. "Mr. Rubenstien's really going to show up at city hall in a chicken suit?"
"Shoosh yeah he is," Sam nodded, closing her Pearbook. "That will teach him to yell at us for having a squirt gun fight in the parking lot."
"Yeah," the third boy nodded. "Just because some papers of his were getting all 'wet'."
"Hi!" Cat said brightly, walking into apartment with Dice, carrying a pizza box.
"Finally, I'm starved," Sam said, getting to her feet and following the two to the kitchen. "You guys left to get that pizza an hour ago; what took you so long?"
"Ask Cat," Dice said bitterly, helping himself to a soda from the fridge.
"Well when we went to pick up the pizza," Cat explained. "The man at the counter told me for an extra twenty bucks, he could remake our pizza with my name written out in pepperonis!"
"Twenty bucks?" Sam exclaimed.
"That's what I said!" Dice nodded.
"But I've never had my name spelled out in pepperoni before," Cat said. "Wait until you see how cool it is! Ta-da!" She flipped the box open, revealing a large pizza with the word Kat written out in pepperonis.
"Um…Cat," Sam frowned. "They didn't even spell your name right."
"What?" Cat gasped, looking down at the pizza. "Oh, dang it! Now I have to bring it back and-"
"No!" Sam said quickly. "Here…" she quickly picked off the meat from the 'K' and rearranged it into a 'C'.
"There," she said, stuffing the leftover pepperonis into her mouth. "All better. Bon appetite."
"Oh, wait," Cat said, opening her bag as the kids rushed over to the food. "I bought you a surprise, Sam! Close your eyes."
Sam sighed. "I'm not gonna wind up stuck in marshmallows again, am I?"
Cat giggled. "No, the man at the grocery store won't sell marshmallows to me anymore. He says I have a 'problem'."
"No kidding."
"Just close your eyes and hold out your hands," Cat begged.
"Ugh, fine!" Sam moaned.
Cat pulled out a box and placed them in Sam's hands. "Okay! Open!"
Sam opened her eyes. "Oh no way! You bought me double-stuffed Fat Cakes? Thanks, Cat!"
"You're welcome," Cat smiled. "You told me you were happiest when you had one of those in your mouth…so you should put one in your mouth now."
"Why?" Sam asked suspiciously.
"Um-um…"
"Did you mess up my motorcycle helmet with your Jewlowzer again?" Sam moaned.
"I thought the jewels made it look pretty," Cat said sheepishly.
"Cat!"
"I didn't do that, I swear!" Cat said quickly.
"Then what'd you do?" Sam asked.
"Well, um…you-you know how you said your boyfriend's coming down to visit you this weekend?"
"Freddie? Yeah," Sam nodded. "You didn't book any babysitting gigs, did you? Cat, I told you-"
"I didn't book any babysitting gigs!"
"Oh…okay," Sam said.
"And you know how, um, I told you that you two could have the place to yourselves and I'd spend most of this weekend at Elderly Acres with Nona?"
"Yeah…" Sam said.
"Well, you two can still have the place to yourselves," Cat said slowly. "But-But with another couple too."
"Wait, what?"
"So how's that Cat pizza, guys?" Cat asked, quickly walked away from Sam.
"Cat, what do you mean another couple's going to be here?" Sam snapped.
"I-I sort of promised my two friends from school they could hang out here this weekend too," Cat admitted. "I thought the concert you and I have tickets for was this weekend, not next weekend, so I told them they could come over here while we were gone."
"Why?"
"Because I sort of ruined their last date by dropping a chandelier on their dinner table," Cat mumbled.
"Um…how did you manage to drop a chandelier on a dinner table?" Dice asked.
"It wasn't properly secured to the ceiling!" Cat defended.
"But why-never mind," Dice said, going back to his pizza.
"Well why can't you just call up your friends and tell them they can have the place next weekend when we really are at the concert?" Sam asked.
"Because Beck got casted for a shampoo commercial, and it's being shot then," Cat explained.
"Wait a minute, are you talking about Jade and Beck?" Dice frowned.
"Oh yeah, you met them before," Cat smiled.
"Yeah…what a nightmare," he shuddered.
"See!" Sam said triumphantly, putting her arm around the boy. "Dice here doesn't like this anymore than me."
"You didn't like Beck and Jade?" Cat frowned.
"I liked Beck," Dice said. "It's Jade who freaked me out." He looked at his watch. "Oh! I'm supposed to meet a guy about a shipment of moon shoes. I'll see you guys later."
Cat turned to Sam. "Are you mad?"
"Kind of!" Sam said. "This will be the first time I've seen Freddie since I moved down here two months ago, and I kind of wanted to spend some time with him. You know…alone."
"Well Beck and Jade will only be here Friday night," Cat told her. "You'll still have Saturday and Sunday together."
"I guess," Sam mumbled.
"And you can finally get to meet some of my friends from school!" Cat said excitedly. "I don't know why you've never come with me to hang out with them before when I've invited you."
"Um…no offense or anything, but you're more than enough for me to handle," Sam said. "Besides, it would be weird hanging around a bunch of people who've known each other for years."
"But I think you and Jade would get along pretty well with each other," Cat said.
"Is she anything like you?" Sam frowned.
"Hmm, I think we have a lot in common," Cat said. "We both like to sing, and act, and-"
"Then trust me, I'm good," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
….
"I can't wait to meet Freddie," Cat said as Sam and Dice sat on the couch, playing a videogame.
"You think he'll sell me some of his hair too?" Dice asked. "I mean, he's pretty popular from iCarly too, right?"
"Um, sure…" Sam said. "Hey, how about you give me twenty bucks right now, and I'll get you some of his hair for you?"
"Deal!" Dice said, handing her the money.
Just then the doorbell rang.
"Ding-dong!" Cat cried.
Sam jolted up and ran over to the door.
"Frednub!" Sam exclaimed, throwing her arms around her boyfriend before he could even step into the apartment.
"I thought his name was Freddie," Cat whispered to Dice as the couple exchanged a quick kiss.
"Hey, baby," Freddie grinned when they pulled apart. "God, I've missed you so much."
"I missed you too," Sam said. "Oh, wait. Hold on…"
She reached up and plucked a few hairs from Freddie's head.
"Ow!" he said indignantly, massaging his scalp.
"Here you, Freddie Benson hairs, just like I promised," Sam said, handing the hairs to Dice. She turned back to her boyfriend. "You, baby, just made me twenty bucks."
"Well how nice," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. He looked over at Cat and Dice. "Um, hello."
"Oh, right," Sam said, taking his hand and leading him into the apartment. "Freddie, this is Dice. He live in the building and hangs out here all the time because, let's face it, I'm a blast. And this is my roommate Cat. You know, the chick who's cramming us in here with another couple tonight."
"I'll Jewlowzer your backpack for you," Cat offered, holding up her sparkling Jewlowzer machine.
"Um…no-no thanks," Freddie frowned. "And it's nice to meet both of you. Sam's told me a lot about you guys."
"I was a big fan of your work on iCarly," Dice told Freddie. "Did you use cutting room flow to edit the videos on there?"
"Yeah, I did!" Freddie smiled. "Do you dabble in the art of video editing too?"
"No, but I just got a shipment of that software from my guy," Dice told him. "How much do you think I could get for one unit?"
"Hey Dice, you know what time it is?" Sam said, flicking the boy on the head. "Shut up o'clock." She turned back to Freddie. "Anyway, these people are only coming for tonight. We'll still have tomorrow and Sunday together."
"Hey, as long as I'm with you, I'm good," Freddie said, leaning down to kiss Sam again.
"Okay, twelve-year old in the room," Dice said, heading towards the door. "I'm going to go rot my brain with monster movies back at my place."
"Bye Dice!" Cat called after him. She looked at her phone. "I wonder wear Jade and Beck are."
"Maybe they got lost," Sam mumbled under her breath.
"Hey, do you guys have a bathroom here?" Freddie asked.
"No, we pee outside," Sam smirked.
"Ha, ha," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.
"The bathroom's around that corner," Cat told him. "And feel free to use my robe if you want!"
"Um, thank you?"
"So, what do you think?" Sam asked once Freddie had left the room.
"Think of what?" Cat asked.
"Of Freddie?"
"Your boyfriend?"
Sam face palmed her forehead just as the doorbell rang again.
"Ding-dong!" Cat said, rushing to the door and opening it. "Hey you guys!"
"Hey, Cat," said a lean boy with long, dark hair as him and a scowling girl dressed in black came into the apartment. "Thanks again for letting us come over tonight."
"Yeah, even though we're stuck sharing the place," the girl muttered.
Sam narrowed her eyes.
"Um, well, this is Sam, my roommate," Cat said. "Sam, that's Beck, and that's Jade."
"Hi, nice to meet you," Beck said, holding his hand out to Sam.
"Yeah…sure," Sam said, still glaring at Jade, who was glaring right back at her.
"And that's Sam's boyfriend, Freddie," Cat said as Freddie came back into the room. "He's from the Internet too."
"Oh right, iCarly," Beck nodded.
"Whatever," Jade snapped.
"Um, Cat?" Sam whispered, stepping closer to her roommate. "I thought you said that you and this Jade chick had a lot in common."
"We do!" Cat exclaimed, moving next to Jade, her bright pink dress contrasting greatly with Jade's black skirt and combat boots. She made to put her arm around the girl. "We're practically twi-"
"No!" Jade yelled, causing Cat to jump and squeal.
"Um, well, this little double date thing should be a lot of fun," Beck said.
"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "It's always good to have company, right?"
"Nope," Sam mumbled under her breath.
"So…I made chicken for you guys," Cat said.
"Oh cool, that sounds great," Freddie said.
"And I borrowed a movie for you guys to watch later," she continued. "It's about a puppy who moves to Alaska away from all his friends, and thinks that he's going to stay lonely and miserable for the rest of his life."
"Does he?" Jade asked.
"No, silly! He finds true love with an Iditarod dog," Cat grinned.
"Aw," Jade sighed.
"So what are you going to do while we're stuck-I mean, while we're hanging out here?" Sam asked Cat.
"Oh, me and my friend Tori are going to the mall," Cat answered. "Schnieder's Secret is having a big sale. Free panty with every purchase!"
"Ah!" Jade and Sam screamed.
"What? What?" Cat exclaimed, dropping to the floor, clutching her head. "Is it spies? Tell them I don't know anything about my brother!"
"There's no spies, Cat," Beck said, putting his arm around Jade.
"You're still on this?" Freddie asked Sam, amused, helping Cat to her feet.
"What happened?" Cat asked, clutching her chest.
"You know I hate that word!" Jade snapped.
"What word? Panty?"
"Stop saying it!" Sam hissed.
"Wait," Jade said slowly. "You hate that word too?"
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "You don't like it either."
"If I had a bus I would run over that word until it was just another pile of road kill on the road," Jade said firmly, crossing her arms.
"Very violent, baby," Beck said.
"Alright, well…bye!" Cat called, rushing out the door.
The couples stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments.
"So…" Freddie said, breaking the silence. "That chicken's not going to eat itself, huh?"
"We'll go get some plates," Beck said, as him and Jade headed towards the kitchen.
"I don't like them," Sam whispered to Freddie as they walked away.
"You just met them," Freddie reasoned. "And they seem fine. What don't you like about them?"
"Well, I don't have a problem with the dude," Sam said. "Although I don't entirely trust anyone whose hair's that perfect…But that chick's awful!"
"She's not that bad," Freddie said.
"She's all mean and nasty!"
"Um, okay, baby, I say this with love," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "But you're not exactly a basket of puppies yourself."
Sam glared at him.
"I said it with love!" he said quickly.
"I just wish we were by ourselves," Sam sighed. "I mean, we haven't seen each other for two months now."
"I know baby, I wish we had the place to ourselves too," Freddie said. "But there's no use crying over spilled milk."
"Is that another saying from your stupid inspirational calendar?"
"Perhaps," Freddie said. "But let's just make the best of tonight. Maybe you'll make some new friends to hang out with down here."
"Doubt it," Sam mumbled.
"Hey, do you two want any lemonade?" Beck called over to the two. "We picked some up on the way over here."
"Yes, it was supposed to be for the two of us, but now that there's four of us, please feel free to stick your tongues into our beverage," Jade sneered.
"Jade," Beck sighed.
"What? I'm being nice!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, are you feeling a little crowded in my apartment?" Sam asked, stepping over towards Jade.
"Sam," Freddie moaned. "Please don't."
"Don't what? I was just asking our guest if she was feeling comfortable," Sam snapped, crossing her arms.
"I'd be a lot more comfortable if you'd-" Jade began, but was quickly cut off by Beck. "So let's dig in!"
"Sounds like a plan!" Freddie said, quickly sitting down at the table with Beck.
"Fine," Jade said, giving Sam one last dirty look before going down to sit next to her boyfriend.
"Fine," Sam echoed, taking her seat next to Freddie.
Beck and Freddie shifted uncomfortably in their seats, both very aware of the tension hovering around them.
"So," Beck said to Freddie, cutting into his chicken. "You're down here from Seattle?"
"Yup, until Sunday," Freddie nodded.
"How is it up there?"
"Lot of rain," Freddie replied. "Does it rain much down here?"
"Not so much, it's pretty hot," Beck told him.
"Ah, well that's nice," Freddie said.
"Yeah, I'm from Canada, so it took me awhile to get used to the new climate."
"Oh we've been to Canada once," Freddie grinned. "Remember, Sam? To visit that Fat Cake factory?"
"Yeah…with Spencer and Gibby," Sam nodded. "Yet another occasion that was supposed to be just the two of us."
"Um…we weren't dating then, baby, remember?" Freddie told her.
"Well if we were, I'm sure you would've been real thrilled to have another couple tag along," Sam retorted.
"Oh, so you think we're tagging along right now?" Jade frowned, throwing her fork down.
"Well you're here at my apartment with my boyfriend, so yeah, I think that counts as tagging!" Sam said loudly, throwing her own fork down too.
"Jade-" Beck began.
"Sam," Freddie sighed.
"Oh, is that the only argument you got?" Jade snapped.
"It's the only argument I need!"
"You better watch it, Blondie!" Jade said, standing up.
"You think you scare me?" Sam scoffed. "You want me to take you outside and cream you so bad that all that's left will be your stupid blue highlights?"
"I would love that!"
"Jade, come on!" Beck said. "You can't talk to her that way in her own apartment."
"Yeah, and Sam, you can't treat Cat's friends like this!" Freddie said to his girlfriend. "So why don't we all just sit down and try to start over?"
"Exactly," Beck nodded.
"You are so unbelievable," Sam said to Freddie, thumping the back of his head.
"Ow! What was that for?" Freddie exclaimed.
"For being so annoyingly happy!" Sam snapped. "Why can't you be all wazzed off like me, a normal person, about our date night being ruined?"
"And why do you have to always try to calm everything down? Huh?" Jade said loudly, glaring at Beck. "You should be yelling too! This was going to be the first time we spent time alone together in a month!"
"And we haven't even seen each other in two months!" Sam screamed at Freddie.
"This is exactly like the time when we were supposed to go out to dinner and you totally let Andre and Robbie just invite themselves," Jade said, putting her hands on her hips. "And instead of telling them to get lost, you bought them desert!"
"Oh, that's nothing," Sam said, turning to Jade. "Back in Seattle, this one let his mother tag along on our two-week anniversary and traded our tickets for the premiere of Blood and Guts IV for three tickets to the opera just to keep his batty mom happy!"
"Beck and I couldn't even get tickets to Blood and Guts IV because while we were standing in line, he wouldn't let me scare the guy in front of us out of in the ticket line and they sold out," Jade said. "It was completely jank!"
"You wanna hear jank?" Sam said, rolling her eyes. "When we were at a street fair one time, a guy cut in front of me and got the last funnel cake, and Freddie wouldn't even let me use my butter sock on him to teach him a lesson!"
"Um, can we say something?" Freddie spoke up.
"Yeah, this is getting a little out of hand," Beck agreed.
"No!" Sam said firmly.
"Pipe down," Jade snapped. She turned back to Sam. "So, um…what exactly is this butter sock thing?"
"Oh, it's an old sock that I fill with two pounds of hard butter," Sam said. "Here, I'll show you."
She reached over to her backpack that was lying on the counter and pulled out the infamous butter sock.
"Whoa!" Jade said, sounding impressed as she examined it. "You could brand an elephant with this thing."
"Sure can," Sam said proudly. "The trick is in the swing. Hey, some snobbish dude parked his van in my motorcycle's parking spot out front and refuses to move…wanna see this baby in action smashing some windows?"
"Yeah," Jade nodded. "But…" she reached into her pocket and pulled out a pair of scissors. "If you really wanna destroy a car, the key is to slash the tires. It sends a clearer message."
"Smart," Sam grinned.
"Um…" Freddie frowned as Jade and Sam headed out of the apartment. "I-I don't really understand what just happened."
"Me neither," Beck said, shaking his head. He looked down at his plate. "So this is pretty good chicken, huh?"
"Oh yeah, real moist," Freddie nodded.
….
Three hours later, when Cat returned from the mall, she walked into the apartment to find Sam, Freddie, Jade and Beck all sitting in the living room, laughing, as they played team Battleship.
"I'm back!" Cat announced.
"Oh, hey Cat," Sam said, looking up from the game. "How was the mall?"
"Fun, I bought a bunch of new bottles of nail polish so we can have a roommate make-over night soon!" she said excitedly.
"Yeah…not happening," Sam said.
"Aw," Cat sighed. She sat down with the couples. "So did you guys have a fun date night together?"
"Yes, actually, we did," Beck nodded, draping his arm around Jade.
"You see," Cat said, looking at Sam and Jade. "I told you it would be fun."
"Whatever," Sam said, rolling her eyes as Freddie pulled her closer to him.
"Oh, and Sam? You can probably park your motorcycle back in your spot now," Cat said. "Mr. Pompe's car got vandalized and he had to have it towed."
"Did you see his tires?" Jade asked, grinning.
"And I think it's time to go," Beck said, quickly getting to his feet. He turned to Sam and Freddie. "It was real good meeting you two. We'll have to do this again. Just, you know, not somewhere near any cars."
"Right," Freddie nodded.
"See you Monday," Sam said to Jade.
"Monday?" Cat frowned. "But on Monday we have to babysit Corey and Shawn from apartment 19."
"Oh…well, Jade and I were going to go to the park and try to make dog walkers cry," Sam said.
"Why?" Cat asked.
"Because they're irritating!" Jade said.
"So you can handle watching them on your own for a few hours, right?" Sam said. "Just don't let hem trick you into flooding the bathroom again."
"They said I could make a pool," Cat said, looking down at her feet.
"Well, see you at school, Cat," Beck said.
"Bye!" Cat called as they headed out of the apartment.
"Okay, Cat," Sam said as the front door closed shut. "Good night!"
"Good night?" she repeated. "But I'm not tired."
"Well then go sit in your room or watch Frednub and I make out," Sam shrugged. "Your choice."
"Sam," Freddie warned, though he smiled at his girlfriend's forwardness, lacing his arms around her waist.
"Okay, okay, I'm going!" Cat said, quickly running back to her room.
"Finally alone," Sam whispered, planting a deep, passionate kiss on Freddie's lips.
"Was it worth the wait?" Freddie grinned.
"I'll tell you in a minute," Sam chuckled.
"Wait," Cat said, coming back into the room.
"What?" Sam exclaimed, pulling away from Freddie.
"Is his name really Frednub? Or is it just Freddie?"
"Good night, Cat," Sam said, rolling her eyes as she leaned up to continued kissing Freddie.
