Bundle

Sam threw down her bag on her and Freddie's bed and began rummaging through it. She had to be quick, Freddie would be home in just a few minutes…

"Come on, come on," Sam mumbled. "Yes!"

She pulled out the thin, white box she had been looking for and hurriedly tore it open, pulling out the pregnancy test that had been housed inside.

"Alright," Sam said to herself, reading the instructions. "I just pee on this…easy enough, I guess."

She went into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Once she had…prepared the test, she sat down on the edge of the bathtub and waited, knowing very well how long this five minutes was going to last.

She hadn't told anyone she thought she was pregnant yet. She had only begun to suspect it last week herself. She had woken up a few mornings feeling sick and groggy, she had been late, plus she felt…different.

Her and Freddie had been married almost three years, and both of them agreed that they wanted to be parents, but they hadn't officially begun trying yet. Sam knew Freddie would be excited, though. He was so good with Spencer's kids, after all.

Sam had never been good with children, yet the idea of her and Freddie's baby growing inside of her made her feel amazing. She placed a hand on her stomach, wondering what it would feel like to feel the gentle kick of her unborn child.

She was going to be a good mom; she was determined to make sure of that. She never exactly thought her mom was a horrible mother, but there was definitely much to be improved on. She wouldn't feed her baby black coffee just to get some funny videos or make him or her sit in tattoo parlors for hours as she inked up her entire back to look like Uncle Jessie from Full House because he was, apparently, the hottest guy around.

It was a given that Freddie would be a perfect dad. Even without having her own father to compare him to, she knew that her child was the luckiest kid in the world to get to have someone like him. She could just imagine Freddie holding a small bundle of blankets in his arm or teaching their child to read before he or she even turned three because he'd want their kid to be so advanced.

She wondered what it would be like. To hold her child for the first time, to teach them their first words, to help them take those first steps…

It was if Sam's brain had suddenly gone on overdrive, as thousands of that penetrated her mind. Would the baby be a boy or a girl? What would they name it? Would he or she look more like her or Freddie? Would the child be feisty like her? Or more calm like Freddie? Would he or she-

Just then the timer on Sam's Pearphone went off; five minutes were up. Still euphoric from all the images circling her mind, she looked down on the test, and then nearly dropped it.

It was negative. There was a tiny blue minus sign in the middle of the stick. She was not pregnant. Her and Freddie weren't going to have a baby.

Sam shook her head. It had never occurred to her that the test would be negative; she had bought the test more so to have proof to show Freddie than to confirm anything to herself. She had been so sure, and at that moment, Sam remembered why she had always been careful to never get her hopes up. About anything. Because it always wound up making her feel like this.

How can I be upset? Sam thought miserably by herself. I can't be upset about what I never had.

But her emotions didn't seem to want to listen to her as she felt her eyes growing wet with tears. She kept staring down at the test, cursing herself for jumping to conclusions. So she had been sick a few times this week; it was probably from the new ice cream flavor she had been eating, Caramel Beef Nut. So she was late, it wasn't the first time that had happened. And there were hundreds of reasons she could've been feeling different lately. Stress at work, the new pillows her and Freddie had gotten for their bed…

She wiped her eyes, still clutching the test. Pull yourself together, you're still a Puckett, even if your last name's Benson now, she told herself firmly. She washed her face and then stepped out of the bathroom back into her and Freddie's adjoined bedroom. No sooner had she done so, though, did the bedroom door open and Freddie walked in.

"Hey," he said brightly. "Man, you would never believe the traffic over by Marshall Square, it was-" he stopped suddenly, catching sight of his wife's red eyes. "Sam? You-You okay?"

"Um, yeah," Sam nodded. "I just-"

Freddie looked down at Sam's hand, which she just realized was still holding the test.

"What's that?" he frowned.

"Nothing," Sam mumbled, making to toss it in the wastebasket, but Freddie gently took her hand. His eyes widened a bit when he saw what it was, but then looked back up at Sam, who seemed to be on the verge of tears again.

"Oh, baby," he said softly, pulling her into his arms, instantly understanding. "It's okay-"

"I know it's okay," Sam said shakily, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "It's not like we were trying or anything, but-but I was so sure, and I kept thinking about it, and I guess…I guess I started convincing myself that I was definitely pregnant, and I-I just started getting all excited about having a baby and getting to finally start a family, but then I took that test and it said that I wasn't pregnant, and it just felt like I had everything taken away from me, but I didn't because I-I never had it in the first place, and-and-"

Freddie cut her off by placing a kiss on her lips, tasting the saltiness of her tears as they rolled down her face.

"Sam," he said softly. "I-I didn't know you wanted a baby right now, this badly."

"I didn't think I was ready for one either," Sam mumbled. "I figured we'd wait a few more years. But then I thought that we'd be getting a baby soon for sure, and-and suddenly I just felt so ready. Raising a baby with you didn't seem so scary anymore, but I guess-I guess that's just not going to happen."

Freddie sat down on the edge of their bed, patting the space next to him for Sam.

"Baby," he said, lacing his fingers through hers. "I know how you must feel right now-"

"I know, I know, I need to stop moping" Sam sighed. "But I still-"

"You have every right to mope, Sam," Freddie told her. "Thinking that we were going to have a baby…that's huge news. That's great news. Even though we never really sat down and said we were going to officially start trying, it still would've been the best news we've ever gotten, and then to have that snatched away from you, even if you only had your heart set on it for a few days…that's devastating."

"Yeah," Sam said heavily. "I just kept thinking about us being parents, how that would've been…"

"Well, Sam," Freddie said slowly. "I mean, just because you aren't pregnant now, doesn't mean it's never going to happen. We both know we want to be parents."

"I know," Sam said, giving him a small smile.

"And when you do get pregnant, and have our child, I know you're going to be a fantastic mother," Freddie told her. "Because you know what? You wouldn't be this upset right now if you didn't want a baby. You already have so much love ready to give it."

"You'd be such a good dad too," Sam whispered. "Any kid we have will be real lucky to have you as a father."

Freddie kissed her temple. "You know," Freddie said. "Maybe this is a sign that we're ready to really start trying."

"You serious?" Sam asked, her eyes shining.

"I've never been more serious about anything in my life," Freddie said. He brought his lips down to hers again. "I love you Sam, and I'm going to love our child, whenever we have one."