AN-Hey, so this oneshot is actually a sort of iCarly/Sam&Cat/Victorious crossover. It's sort of a sequel to chapter 343, where Freddie visited Sam in LA and they wound up having a double date with Beck and Jade. I've included another oneshot after this in case you don't like Sam&Cat or Victorious. Hope you enjoy, and I tried my best to keep everyone in character, but like I've said before, I don't really write Bade fics, so I just did what I could:) And thanks for the support, everyone!

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Powder

"Ha! Look at that doctor dig into that dude's shoulder," Jade West laughed.

"I know, look at all that puss!" Sam grinned. "Oh! I knew that doctor should've worn his goggles. Now his eye is full of shoulder puss."

"I wonder what shoulder puss feels like in your eye," Jade said thoughtfully. "I bet it hurts…a lot. Lucky guy…"

"Hey!" Cat said brightly, walking into her and Sam's shared apartment. "Guess what I just saw this dog doing out in the-Oh my God! Shoulder puss!"

"Yeah, isn't it cool?" Sam said.

"No!" Cat cried, shielding her eyes, which in turn caused her to trip over Sam's backpack and tumble over the couch onto Sam and Jade's laps.

"You have ten seconds to get off of my lap," Jade said, clenching her teeth.

"Well can you tell me when the ten seconds start?" Cat asked.

"Off!" Jade screamed.

"Okay!" Cat said, scrambling to her feet. "What are you guys watching anyway? This doesn't look like a light comedic sitcom."

"It's the surgery channel," Sam told her. "Hey, if I ever need surgery, how do you think I can get on here?"

"Why would you want the whole world to see your surgery?" Cat frowned. "That seems icky."
"Exactly!" Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh! And now you can see part of his shoulder blade!" Jade said, turning the volume up.

"My stomach's making that weird feeling again," Cat said, placing a hand on her abdomen.

"Well get a bucket," Sam said.

"So Jade," Cat said, ignoring Sam's comment. "Did you come over here to work on out skit for Sikowitz's class?"

"No," Jade scoffed.

"But we need to finish it before-"

"Oh calm down, we can just get Robbie to do the whole thing for us," Jade said.

"I don't know…" Cat frowned.

"Hey! Look! They're going to show this dude's nose job tomorrow!" Sam said, looking at the television. "We have to watch that!"

"But Sam, tomorrow you and I are going to the toy store to pick out some things for the kids to play with when we baby sit," Cat reminded her.

"Yeah…that doesn't seem like something I would agree to," Sam said.

"But I asked you last night in our room," Cat said. "I said, 'Sam, let's go to the toy store tomorrow', and you said 'Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun'."

"Cat," Sam moaned. "I wasn't talking to you! Didn't you see the phone pressed against my ear? I was talking to Freddie! He was telling me when I go back up to Seattle for Thanksgiving next month, we'd go to our favorite restaurant, Pinis."

"So no toy store?" Cat asked.

"No!"

"Oh sweet, extreme plastic surgeries is on now," Jade said. "I haven's seen this in ages."

"Yeah, I used to force Freddie to watch it with me back in Seattle," Sam said. "But he'd always wind up getting sick halfway through."

"No way! So does Beck!" Jade said.

"You make your boyfriends suffer through this too?" Cat asked, gagging as she watched a woman with a large mole that looked like George Washington prepare for surgery. "That's worse than the girl my brother dated who made him wash his hair with mayonnaise."

"What?" Sam frowned.

"It actually made his hair shinier though," Cat continued. "But then he got reminded of this dog catcher who used to chase him who smelled like mayonnaise and he ran away and my parents had to call his special doctor to find him again. He was hiding in-"

"Hey Cat?" Jade cut her off.

"What?"

"Stop talking before I take your sparkly pink glue stick and glue your lips shut."

Cat gasped and quickly covered her mouth.

"It's always funny to see Freddie get all squeamish when we watch this," Sam said, smiling to herself. "Man he hates it so much."

"It always makes Beck miserable," Jade nodded happily.

"Um, you guys?" Cat asked, her voice muffled because she was still covering her mouth with her hands. "Can I ask you something?"

"For the last time, no," Sam sighed. "Your pet fish isn't going to swim back into the toilet. He was dead when you flushed him. He's not swimming anywhere."

"No, not that," Cat said.

"Then what?" Sam moaned.

"Well," Cat began. "I was just wondering…what do you guys see in Beck and Freddie?"

"What?" Jade frowned.

"You know," Cat said. "I know you guys like them and everything, but it seems like you like…bothering them a lot. Sam, you always call Freddie names and make fun of him, and Jade, you always yell at Beck."

"So?" Sam snapped defensively.

"Yeah, so?" Jade nodded. "Who made you the relationship police?"

"Hey, that's the online dating site my Nona used to use!" Cat grinned. "She got matched up with this baker who hacked her Getflix account and ordered this movie about a talking koala bear who-"

"Hey, isn't it today your stuffed kangaroo's birthday?" Sam said.

"What? No!" Cat said. "It's not the eighteenth."

"Um, yes it is," Sam lied quickly.

Cat gasped. "Shut the French toast! It is? I forgot? Oh no! I didn't get Powder a card or anything!"

"Who names a kangaroo Powder?" Jade asked.

"Oh, see, when I was nine, my mom and I were eating chowder, and my brother thought he was a kangaroo, and-"

"Cat! The card!" Sam interrupted.

"Oh, right!" Cat cried, grabbing her purse. "I'll go buy Powder a card, and you guys bake him a cake, okay? And-And we'll just pretend that this whole thing is a surprise party so he won't be mad at me for not saying anything to him when I was putting on his bow tie this morning!"

"Sounds like a plan, now go," Sam said.

"I'm on it!" Cat yelled, running out of the apartment.

"Yeah…" Jade said as Cat slammed the door behind her. "We're not baking a cake."

"Shoosh no," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "But sometimes that chick can-"

"Irritate you in ways that make you want to stab something?" Jade finished.

"I-I was going to say she could be stressful," Sam said. "But that works too. And what was she talking about? Saying we're always mean to our boyfriends?"

"Well you can't just be nice to them all the time!" Jade snapped.
"Yeah, we need to let them know who's in charge!" Sam nodded. "That doesn't mean we don't see good things in them…occasionally. It's just funner to bug the living chiz out of them."

"Yeah! I'm not gonna sit there and gush over Beck's unnaturally shiny hair like most girls," Jade said. "And he deserves to be yelled at most of the time! You know he didn't even tell me his was Canadian?"

"Well Freddie practically begs for me to make fun of him," Sam said. "He always goes on and on about Galaxy Wars and computers and homework. What am I supposed to do? Not call him a nerd?" she shook her head. "That's just impossible!"

The two girls were silent for a few minutes, both watching as the plastic surgeon on the T.V. began to cut into the oddly shaped mole.

"I mean," Sam mumbled. "I guess I do sort of like when he act nerdy sometimes. It's sort of cute…but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to give him a hard time about it! If I was all sweet to him when he did his dork stuff, he'd-"

"-Rub it in your face all the time," Jade nodded. "Exactly."

"We have reputations!" Sam exclaimed.

"Yeah, like when I yell at Beck for being all calm every stupid minute of his life," Jade told her. "It's annoying sometimes, but there's some times when it's not exactly the most excruciating thing in the world. But if I say that, then the next thing I know, I lose my intimidation factor and I become as bad as Cat!"

"And if I start being all goo-goo eyed and letting everyone know how much I like looking at Freddie's muscles, I'm not the tough chick anymore," Sam said. "I'm just the chick who likes drooling over his because I can't use my own! I'll become a Carly!"

"What's a Carly?" Jade asked.

"She's my best friend from Seattle," Sam said quickly. "But the point is that we don't not like the things we give the guys a hard time about…we just don't want to let them get too cocky."

"It's either harassment or scissors shoved in their car seats," Jade added. "We've got to keep them in line somehow."

"Well duh," Sam nodded. "Oh! Look! Her mole started squirting yellow stuff!"

"Ha! Bet that chick's rich husband's gonna have to pay extra for that!" Jade laughed. "Turn it up more, I think I hear her screaming something about maggots…"