Originally this and the previous chapter were one but were too long compared to the others before. Nevertheless, here is the big finish, soon after the last one.
Chapter title translation: "repentance; remorse".
Chapter Eight
Kaigo
He was so rigid he didn't notice he fell through the ruined wall behind him and found himself outside in broad morning light, and his horse whinnied as he was startled by his master's entrance. He picked himself up, feeling his joints jerk with the fright that was going to kill him if he didn't pull himself together.
I knew something was wrong; why didn't I take it seriously?! Why didn't I realize it was all too easy...?!
There was one other thing to do, and he wasn't leaving anymore: he was going to Itachi and his family. He wanted to know the story of what really happened to his wife. How she died - or if he was just dreaming after all, constantly praying to the Kami that it was a dream - and if he could stay and make things right even if he were to live out the rest of his days as a servant instead of a family member. It was more than he deserved.
Sakura said they lived not too far from here, likely deeper in the woods since he remembered there had been an empty, larger house that once belonged to a disgraced daimyo's family - and when he finally found it, he saw life out there. There were gardens, but because of the season, their time was running out. The leaves were glowing like jewels in the sunlight. When he arrived, two children were running around, chasing each other with wooden poles, which was what he and his brother used to do when they were that age.
He didn't know who that girl was - could she be their daughter they had when I was gone? - but her hair and eyes were dark, and yet her features...
The young boy had to be Ren, and he was a spitting image of his father with the exception of the bright blue eyes that belonged to his mother - and that was also who Sasuke was greeted by when she came up to him, wearing her long golden-red hair in a tie beneath the nape of her neck, and the kimono was plain dark blue. Dark enough to match her eyes which bore a storm as they rested upon his dirty, haggard appearance. "Sasuke Uchiha."
She spoke to him as if he were such a nuisance she was hoping she'd never see again. "Yes, I've returned," he answered back, and she folded her arms across her chest with a scowl.
"What for? A social call? A realization of your mistakes? It'd better be the latter because I'm afraid you're a little too late for that." Hanaru's eyes then widened a little when they studied his face closer. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Perhaps I did," he answered. Then he heard the sound of hooves as well as the familiar voice of - "Itachi." He turned around and saw his brother who looked much better than he ever did, but the lines on his face were deeper as if he looked a decade much older than he was.
And his older brother's greeting was cold as the north. "My foolish little brother. When did you get back?"
Sasuke wanted to say just now - as I said to "her" - but that would be a lie. "Last night. I came to the house, but no one was home, and I was too tired to search, so I stayed there until daybreak, and I asked around."
Scoffing, Itachi got down from his horse and began to lead it by the reins towards the house and the stable behind it. He ordered Sasuke to follow him and do the same. "Hanaru, take the children inside while I talk to my unreasonable brother." She nodded and then turned around to shout for the children - Ren was indeed the lad, and the girl was named Sarada - to get into the house while "Papa" and "Uncle Itachi" entertained the unexpected guest they had. Something inside Sasuke stopped when he heard the latter, but before he could ask, his brother beat him to it.
"I know what you are going to ask, but we will talk out here. In fact, there are rebuildings in Konoha done after you left, when we ended up facing Kiri. Both sides had to pay for the damages inflicted, and we are nearing completion. It put me in business, loathe as I am to say it helped me and others like. However, that wasn't all. It involves the wife you once claimed to love with every fiber of your being before you left her after everything she did for you - after everything I did to make sure you would be happy and content," Itachi snapped, slamming the stable door and locking it into place.
"She found out she was with child perhaps a month after you left."
Sasuke's world ended right there. His cherished cherry blossom had been pregnant right after he abandoned her; that meant the little girl Sarada had to be none other than - "And she birthed at the end of March," Itachi said, "which was none other than a healthy, beautiful little girl." His face softened when he mentioned his niece before it was back to before. "However, the entire time, she would rejoice over the one thing she wanted most, while she mourned your absence and wished you were with her. By the time Sarada came into this world, Sakura's condition worsened, but the physicians found no evidence of childbirth complications."
She gave us a daughter - a child I never knew existed because it was MY fault - but she died. She's dead because of me. "When did she die?" he asked, unsure if he was hearing himself anymore.
"The next day after Sarada's birth. She spent the rest of the time crying, and when she finally fell asleep, she never awoke again. We had her body removed and buried in our current backyard; I had been working enough to get a new house for all of us - this one." He gestured to the property with his hand. "That old place had far too many memories for us to remain any longer...and we certainly never counted on you returning even though I held out hope for the longest time," Itachi said, venom dripping from his teeth.
This was his way of saying that he would have been happier if his younger brother stayed away for their sakes and Sarada's because she was happy in their care; that stung Sasuke more than a simple slap to the face. "Well, I'm here. I hurried as soon as my official time was over, and when I got to the house, I thought I saw her..." He trailed off.
Itachi looked at him as if he had just seen a ghost, just like his wife had spoken. "I suppose if you did see her, she said she forgave you," he stated, shaking his head. "It never crossed your mind that it was all too easy? It tells me you're a bigger fool than I expected of you. I thought I raised you better than this."
He couldn't stand this lecture anymore. "I've heard enough of this, Itachi," Sasuke said angrily. "I know what I did to her, so I came back to set things right. I could have realized it sooner, but it's too late to go back and change it. If you and Hanaru would just let me back in, I'll do anything!"
There was a long pause as well as an inquisitive look before he got an uneasy exhale of breath.
"Fine, but for the time being, you're not to tell Sarada who you really are; you're going to work for us as a household servant, and until I see you're worth respect and trust again, I'll set you to work as a benefit for my business. That means whatever you catch, I sell. This way you'll be the father your daughter needs, and she can look upon you the way you deserve. Perhaps that way Sakura WILL forgive you from the other side," Itachi finished with his hands on his hips.
Punishment accepted. He started it today and it would last for months at most until the winter season would blow its way in their paths.
He spent his days in the fields, plowing up for the harvest, and participating in the festivals but not as a guest who was there to enjoy it. What was utterly humiliating was for him to assist in his brother's needs, like just dressing and undressing him; they'd grown up together, so why should it have embarrassed him the way it did? Because in his eyes, I'm not his brother for the time being.
Of course, Hanaru made it clear she wasn't going to forgive him - so easily, that is. She was enjoying his suffering, quietly. And of course, Ren wouldn't remember him since he was a toddler. The entire time he watched Sarada interact with her aunt and uncle who had raised her while her own father was out of her life. As a result, part of Sasuke thought of leaving again, because his clenching guts took more than they could bear, but he had to get through this.
When he wasn't in the fields, he was cleaning the house and sleeping in the servants' quarters. At least when it was over, he would have his own room now, but his sister-in-law was doing her best to keep a cool distance from him. "I helped deliver Sarada when you weren't there," she'd told him, "and your daughter is lucky I don't blame her for who her father is. She's too precious for such treatment."
He found himself thinking that Naruto would have been severely disappointed in him. His best friend's anger he wouldn't be able to withstand. I'm sure he could see me the way I am now.
Sasuke was finally let off the hook by the time of the winter solstice. Three months of living hell that should have been worth it, but he still felt like an empty shell of a man. As far as he was concerned, he wasn't going to get married again after his past experiences. He didn't need or want an heir to leave behind something that mattered, because he already had one even if she were female.
What if she was better off never knowing who he was? Itachi berated him with words while Hanaru slapped him on the back of his head for his idiocy. "You're going to talk to her and that is final!"
So when he knelt before her in the house, he told the little girl who he was, and Ren was there to witness. The boy gazed at him critically as if not trusting him, but his daughter was another story - and she stood up, running to him and throwing her arms around him, crying that she always wanted a father but was scared she would leave Uncle Itachi and Aunt Hanaru now that he was here, but they both assured her they would all live here together as a family.
"Are you going to leave again someday...Father?" Sarada accused him, having guessed what the reason was for his absence, and he shook his head vehemently, swearing on his life and her mother's grave.
Speak of the devil, here they were now at the spot that was written: ここに嘘さくら.
Here lies Sakura.
Sitting before where she was laying now felt surreal, but there she was. In a sense, and just like that night he returned, she was with all of them. He smiled and watched as their daughter laid down the greenery she gathered as a substitute for a flower posy to the epitaph's base, then got on her knees and raised her hands to the mother she never knew. Sasuke joined her in the same gesture, behind him Itachi, Hanaru, and Ren - but then something remarkable happened which made him cry tears of joy and took Sarada into his arms, making the others smile:
"I'm not really dead, Sasuke. I'm here at your side when you won't see me. You're home now, you've repented, and that's all that matters."
The end was inspired by the conclusion of Ugetsu (1951), which was bittersweet in itself. It's one of those things where by the time you finally come around, it's too late - but it's not too late to learn from your mistakes and fix them.
Like I said at the end of the previous chapter, some of you were expecting a happy ending, but there were reasons I decided to stick to the original source, unlike "Woman of the Snow". Sasuke coming home to his wife only to find her dead was a way of getting what he deserved no matter his change of heart because that is also how life works. It's not as happy as we wish it to be. And now that this time, a child he never knew about is in the picture, he has to make his amends by being the father he is supposed to be as well as to earn the trust of his brother, sister-in-law, and everyone else again.
Long story short, this was a way to push my comfort zone, so I kind of am proud of myself. :)
To make up for this tragic ending to one of the greatest love stories (if it's any consolation, for those of you who like Romeo and Juliet as well as others), you can look at my other SasuSaku stories which have happier ends, and in the future, I'll have a new one called "Bijotoyajū", but I don't know when it'll be up.
Soon will also be the final in the Konoha Kaidan Trilogy, "A Fragile Blue Rose", which will be up soon as well. :D Itachi and Hanaru in the modern age - and involving none other than Tokaido Yotsuya Kaidan.
