-FIRSTS-
Disclaimer: The works of Detective Conan and Magic Kaito belongs to Gosho Aoyama-sensei.
Warning: KaiShin relationship.
A/N: I really love torturing Shinichi don't I? Actually I feel a tad bit sorry for Kaito. Makes reference to chapter 16.
First Fight
Kaito watched from his bedroom window as his mother turned Hakuba away that morning. Even from the distance, he could see the displeasure on Hakuba's face as he walked away from the building.
"Breakfast is ready!" Yukiko called up the stairs much too bubbly for Kaito's mood. He fingered his mobile phone, screen displaying Shinichi's message.
'Did you wake up on time? Have you had breakfast yet? There's been a difficulty so I might not make it for the weekend. Hope you hadn't planned for anything. I'll call you when I get back.'
It seems that his detective had expected him to have returned to Ekoda as the message came in later than usual. His eyes were unfocused as he stared out of his bedroom window, still dressed in sweats and pants. He had no urge to go into school today, seeing as his mind is constantly preoccupied with worry. The lack of sleep hadn't helped either.
"Kaito?" Chikage knocked on the door to draw his attention. "How did you sleep?" Coming over to hug him, Chikage felt her son go boneless in her arms. She was startled for a second before supporting him and walking him to sit on the bed. By the way he was holding the phone, she guessed Shinichi must have messaged again.
"Kaito, have you tried replying?" It was disturbing to see her son so solemn.
He shook his head.
"Maybe you should try that. I'm sure he's worried about you as well." She closed her own hand over the mobile screen. "It might make you feel better."
"Mum, what if he can't reply? I'll be even more worried." He stared at the darkened screen.
"It's a risk you'll have to take. Though I don't think it'll be a problem. If he can manage to message you at set intervals, he would be able to send you replies."
"Alright." Unlocking his phone, he opened the latest message to reply to. Though now that he intends to talk to his detective, he was at a lost for words.
Staring at the blank template, he wondered if it was really a smart thing to do. Shaking his head, he locked the phone again.
"No, I'll be patient and wait. My message might arrive at the wrong time and do more damage than good." Purposefully, he placed the phone back on the nightstand.
"Alright, you'll eat with us before resting again. It looks like you haven't slept a wink last night." She poked at the dark circles underneath his eyes.
Obediently, he followed his mother's instructions, finishing the breakfast then returning to bed. But he did not, and could not, close his eyes to sleep. The scene he sees behind his eyelids every time he closed them was unnerving and filled him with cold sweat. Instead, he stared up at the ceiling with thoughts of an injured detective, bleeding out and without help. He tried clearing his mind.
"I should do something." Sitting up, he muttered to himself, mostly, but a couple of his doves cooed in response. Turning towards the sound, and at the risk of being more insane than usual, he spoke to his doves. "You guys think so too? Maybe I should clean up the lair then?"
There was a strange cooing, possibly in disagreement, but it was only Kaito's guess.
"No? Hmm..." Kaito surveyed his room. Apart from his school work, a couple of magic books from long ago, some magazines (there is an issue of the latest ViVi and NoNo on the small table kept for research purposes), and the tv, there really wasn't much to do in his room (especially without his detective). "I could probably do some work, maybe work on a new trick? One that involved feathers?" He was looking at his doves for approval.
The doves, being the smart birds that they are, shook their heads. Instead, as one, they flew from their perch and tugged at his blanket as though to tuck him in.
"You guys..." It seems that even his doves were insisting him to rest. "Fine. But you guys had better wake me up before lunch." He gave the nearest dove a scratch in the belly. A few decided to join him on the pillow.
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That night, Yuusaku arrived and joined them for dinner.
"Yuu-chan!" Yukiko made a running leap towards the author. She too had been concerned at her son's current status but she hid it well beneath her version of Poker Face. Chikage and Kaito greeted the author with less enthusiasm.
"Yukiko." He returned the hug.
Kaito looked on with slight detachment. It seems that both parents were tense, Yuusaku especially.
"I take it Shinichi hasn't contacted anyone yet?" Yuusaku directed his question towards Kaito, who shook his head. "That's...not good."
"Why?" Kaito couldn't help but ask, already fearing the worst.
"It means the other party have not fallen into the trap yet. We might be in for a long wait if that was the case." Yuusaku frowned. He had hoped there had been progress. "In any case, Chikage, I'm afraid we'll intrude upon you for some time yet. At least until our house has been cleared."
His mother cheerily replied before bounding back to the kitchens to prepare dinner.
"Yuusaku-san?" Kaito could not help but call out to ask what the man knew about his son.
"Kaito-kun, believe in Shinichi. He'll come back to us." He tried to reassure the boy.
"It's not that." Kaito has the utmost confidence that his detective would return. "But I want to ask whether Shinichi calls you or is it through messaging only?"
"He calls. That's how I know." The author admitted with a grim face. The voice he heard during the calls never sounded confident or energetic. The calls were always made in a frantic, filled with choppy sentences and jumbled words.
It was good for Kaito to know that Shinichi at least confided in someone. But at the same time, he felt let down. He still could not justify to himself why Shinichi had not made a call to him.
"Kaito-kun. My calls were brief and even though I said calls, it's more of a voice message." Yuusaku amended as though sensing Kaito's pain.
What Kaito wouldn't give to listen to his detective's voice again.
"Stay strong. He'll come back." Giving him a pat on the shoulders Yuusaku let himself be led by his wife. Kaito stood at the entrance, feeling forlorn and aimless. If only he could do something useful, or focus on something, it'll probably erase this uneasiness settling in the pit of his stomach.
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Shinichi's messages came like clockwork. Every morning before school, late afternoon and coinciding with when school finishes, then at night to wish him pleasant dreams. But it still did not fill the emptiness in Kaito's heart. A week passed and the only thing Shinichi told him was a few days more in each message. He went to school, but pulled no pranks, which had every student and teacher worrying about the prankster. The principal actually gave him a free pass and told him to 'get better' before coming back to school. Kaito graciously took the offer and spends his time going over surveillance in his dove-cam and doing research on rings and jewelry.
Two weeks after his detective's disappearance, he decided to visit the Kudo Manor with the elder Kudos. Just as he reached the front gate, there was a message coming through his phone.
"Kaito, are you free? Do you want to meet up to do something?" It sounds as though Shinichi was back. He wasted no time and pushed open the gates. Not waiting for Shinichi's parents, he ran up the path and opened the front door. Pausing for a second, he let his instincts take over to guide him to their shared room.
"Kaito!" Shinichi exclaimed in surprise, "I did not expect to see you so early."
Kaito strode over to stand in front of his detective. Seeing no visible injury, he smiled slightly before raising his hand up and slapped Shinichi on the left cheek.
"Kai...to?" Confusion written all over his face, Shinichi reached up to soothe the stinging sensation.
"Jerk!" Kaito shouted. He thought he would not be angry, but seeing his detective's face made him wonder whether he should have bothered to be so worried at all. It seemed as though the detective had just taken a vacation or something similar. Kaito was barely able to hold back the scathing remarks, but the words of anger had already built up and would be let loose."You inconsiderate, selfish jerk! How could you do this to me? Do you know how worried I was? You didn't even call me!"
Even in anger, Kaito had not raised his voice. Though to be honest, he was more frustrated than angry.
"Kaito, I can explain..." Shinichi was cut off mid sentence as Kaito made sudden movements towards him.
"Do you remember what we talk about before? No secrets! No more using ourselves as bait! Do you even care?" Kaito gripped the front of Shinichi's shirt.
"Kaito, wait. I..." He put up his hands, trying to calm his magician back down.
"But you won't even call me! Didn't even think to let me know what you were doing! Did you even think I won't get upset?!"
"Kaito, I'm sorr..."
"No, don't apologise when you don't even mean it. I don't want to hear it." Kaito let go of the shirt, pushed his detective away from him, before turning to stomp out the doorway with tears brimming at the edges of his eyes.
On the way down, he bumped into Shinichi's parents.
"Kai-chan?" He barely heard Yukiko call out his name as his own head was a mess. He was trying to reign in the emotions threatening to spill.
Instead of stopping, he lengthened his steps, pushing and hopping down the stairs two at a time. He wasn't sure where he wanted to go. One part of him wanted to run out the doors, but the other had wanted to turn back towards the shared bedroom so that he could hold onto his wayward detective. He settled in the kitchen as a mid-way point, sitting by the counter and staring out the window.
Yukiko came to find him in a blank state, eyes unfocused and body unmoving.
"Kai-chan," her maternal instincts took over and came to wrap the somewhat broken boy in a hug, "I'm with you on this one. Shin-chan was at fault this time."
There was still no reaction from Kaito.
"You have every right to be mad at him."
"It's not that." Kaito hesitated, "I was scared." He normally would not be admitting to feeling vulnerable but he needed someone to talk to.
"I didn't know if...if...I just couldn't stand him being torn away from me." He buried his face in his hands. "It happened once, I had little control. This is the second time already. What's there to stop it from happening again?"
"Kai-chan..." It was clear that the person he needed most at this moment was Shinichi. "Let's get out of this house for a while, to clear your head." She handed Kaito the dropped mobile phone on the kitchen counter as she coaxed Kaito away from his seat and towards the front door. On the way, she made a quick call to Chikage to meet up with them at a cafe.
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Upstairs, once Kaito released Shinichi, he fell down in a heap on the floor.
"'Tou-san, did I do things wrong?" He muttered breathlessly. "Was I wrong to want to try and protect him?"
"Shinichi, if you were in his shoes, you too would react as he did." He placed a comforting hand on his son's shoulders. "Come on, let's go downstairs so you could apologise properly."
He tried lifting his son up, but instead of compliance, he was met with resistance and a hiss.
"Shinichi," he finally observed his son, not seeing any visible injuries or bandages, though he knew for certain he must have sustained injuries but hid it when Kaito came in. "How bad?"
"Not sure." His words came out as haggard puffs. "But I think the morphine is wearing off though."
It was likely that Shinichi had been in surgery then, to have strong pain killers. He remembered seeing some bullet holes and knicks along the corridors and the rail balusters on the staircase.
"How long ago was this?"
"The trap was sprung on Thursday night, the FBI were gracious enough to help with the cleanup and replace the broken furniture. Though most of our things were moved away long before..." Shinichi started to ramble, probably in an effort to distract himself from the pain. "There was a scuffle as we took in the suspects. Half were captured by the JPSB, the rest by FBI. We let one escape to report back to The Organisation about the current KID having been killed in the cross fire. So if KID were to rise again, they'll think it's a different person..."
"You should still be in the hospital." Yuusaku reprimanded, hands already rummaging around for his phone to call an ambulance. "You should be resting and not making things more complicated."
"No 'tou-san, I needed to apologise to Kaito, for what I put him through." He winced as he stood up, knees wobbling and unsteady. He barely made two steps before nearly falling down, but he caught himself on the nearby chair.
"If you really didn't want Kaito-kun to worry, you should have come clean with him in the first place. As your parents, we can easily understand and read you, knowing how you'd behave and act. But Kaito-kun, despite of your understanding of each other's thought processes, is still trying to figure you out. Like how you are still trying to understand his feelings. Be a bit more considerate of his emotions." Yuusaku helped his son towards the bed to lay him down. He could feel Shinichi warming up underneath his fingers. It seems his body is fighting off an infection. "Rest for now."
"'Tou-san." He tried to struggle out of the blanket placed over him.
"I'll let Kaito-kun know to come up instead." With a pat on the blanket, Yuusaku moved towards the doorway but was called back by his son.
"No!" Shinichi suddenly sat up, but had to clench his jaws to stop the pain from becoming vocal. He was still for a few moments, to regain his composure, before speaking again. "I didn't want him to know..."
"Shinichi." Yuusaku shook his head. "Then I'm calling the doctors to come to take a look at you. We need to know how bad your injuries are."
He had no choice but to nod in consent before sliding back down into his bed.
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"Alright Yuu-chan. I'll tell Kai-chan then." Yukiko got off the phone with her husband, who just called to give her an update on the situation. She forced herself to smile and not show the worry festering in her heart. Now she has to make some excuse and lie about the contents of the phone call. "Well Kai-chan, you'll be happy to know that Yuu-chan gave Shin-chan the full dressing down. Though you might just want to stay over at Ekoda for now. It seems there are still a couple of things that needs to be cleaned up at the Manor. We'll make sure Shin-chan calls you ok?"
Inconspicuously, she signalled for Chikage to help convince Kaito not to return with her to the Manor.
"Kaito, I too think you should come back, at least for a day or two. You know, to make Shinichi-kun squirm a little. After all, he should not just take you for granted." If Chikage was being truthful, she felt that a little bit of revenge should be in order.
"You too mum? But...I think Shinichi might take it the wrong way. He did feel slightly apologetic as I left, so if I gave him the chance to explain himself..." Kaito was torn. Should he return or not? His heart was saying return but his more vindictive mind was telling him to ignore the feeling.
"Then definitely Ekoda!" Both woman said at it same time.
"Shin-chan needs to understand. It'll be good in the long run, to figure things out now."
"And he needs to come groveling back to you, to pay for his negligence." Chikage added in agreement.
"Isn't that a little bit harsh? I mean he did do things in order to keep me safe..." Kaito hesitated, shrinking back from the pair of woman sitting in front of him. "It's not like it was really intentional..."
"Kai-chan, you forgive so easily. It's not healthy."
"I think it's more like I understand his motives and methods, that's why I know for certain why he did it..." Yukiko wasn't sure what other arguments she could make to convince Kaito.
"Kaito, you should stand firm in such cases." Now even Chikage was desperate. "Letting Shinichi-kun do as he pleases does not make a good foundation for a healthy relationship."
"But mum. Isn't a healthy relationship built on trust...?"
"That too, but also respect. It is apparent that Shinichi-kun was lying to you. It's not something to be tolerated."
"Not really his fault though. I'd do the same in his situation." Kaito was trying to defend his detective from the pair of women. "Keeping such sensitive information a secret is what makes him so adamant in finding out the truths, because he understands the harm secrets can cause."
"Kaito." Chikage cut off whatever train of thought Kaito was having, "just listen to me this one time."
"What are the two of you hiding from me?" Kaito looked suspiciously between the two. He was about to further question them when the phone in his pocket vibrated, which was strange seeing as he set his phone to ring. Chikage and Yukiko sighed in relief for the rescue. Taking it out, he realised it was not his phone but his detective's. The caller id read 'Jodie' and there is only one person by that name that would be calling Shinichi.
"Kudo-kun! You're not supposed to be wandering around or leave for that matter! You just came out of an eight hour surgery, it's no laughing matter! The doctors already said there's already complications with the shortage of blood for transfusion, you'd be slightly hypovolemic and you should not even be leaving the bed. But before we can even set up the correct security detail and contact your parents, you just leave the moment you're awake!" Jodie ranted, not pausing for breath. Kaito was stunned, both by her continual sentence and by the content of her words.
"Sorry to interrupt Jodie-san but can you repeat that again?" Kaito asked calmly.
"You're not Kudo-kun?" This time, it was delivered slowly and cautiously, before degenerating into expletives. "Damn it! Where is he?" It seems she already knew who was on the other end of the phone without having Kaito announce his name.
"Jodie-san, you still haven't answered my question." He hinted with trace amounts of irritation.
"Ah...um...thing is, I'm not supposed to tell you..." There was clear hesitation in her voice. "We promised Kudo-kun not to involve you, no matter what."
"But you already did, however accidentally. No point in keeping a secret anymore."
"You do make a valid argument. And since you're close to him, you should know about what happened. Maybe you could even drag him back to the hospital."
Across the table, there were worried looks directed at him. Yukiko was silently asking for the phone but Kaito remained stern in his gaze, refusing to part with phone until he milked it for all its information.
"How much do you know about the situation?" Jodie asked, wanting to see what she could skip over.
"Only the outline. I'm afraid you'll have to tell me from the beginning."
"Ok then. But you know about the plan and the purpose right?" Pausing, she did not wait for a reply but as though to gather her thought. "It was Kudo-kun who brought it to our attention that The Organisation had the intention of recruiting Kaitou KID for their work. Being that we don't want them to have more power, Kudo-kun had the idea to purge The Organisation of such thought by staging a scene where it allowed them to dispose Kaitou KID. The ruse was KID was working with Kudo-kun all along and was preventing The Organisation from their objective. What it is, we don't know. We coordinated with the JPSB, who knew more about the objective, to set up in a secret location to allow for capture. Now, this is what we've been told but KID managed to lure The Organisation's members to Kudo-kun's place, where a transaction happened. KID, or the person who Kudo-kun asked to play KID was unfortunately killed in action but Kudo-kun fled the scene, drawing with him The Organisation members towards the location we have set up. I'll spare you the details of the fight, only know that it wasn't pretty. There were casualties on both sides and it really was sheer luck that Kudo-kun did not bleed out on the floor."
Kaito was stunned silent. Did his detective return back home, despite his injuries, so that he could meet up with Kaito?
"That stupid idiot! Why didn't he say anything?!" He hollered into the phone, slamming it onto the table before rushing out the cafe. Chikage was quick follow as Yukiko took care of the check.
Kaito did not pause, only continued running at high speeds back to the Kudo Manor. He knew his mother was following him but not once did he stop to let her catch up. Yuusaku was at the front door when he burst through, who quickly caught the magician to stop him from going any further.
"Let me go Yuusaku-san." He struggled, tempted to set off the sleeping gas in his pockets.
"Calm down Kaito-kun." He forcefully pushed Kaito into the kitchens. Chikage arrived not a moment later.
"Kaito, what set you off?" Chikage bent over and breathed heavily after the sudden sprint. She really was too out of it for something like this.
"Shinichi...he's...that idiot!" Kaito hit on the nearest flat surface to vent his frustration. "He ran out of the hospital after a long surgery! Not letting his body rest and recover like he should!"
Yukiko arrived just in time to hear the last sentence. She already talked on the phone with Jodie so she knew of the situation.
"I already called a doctor and he looked into it." Yuusaku glanced up towards Yukiko by the doorway. "Yukiko, could you go up to check on Shinichi? The doctor said he's running a high fever due to an infection."
Swiftly, Yukiko left for her designated position, clearly worried since her son had not shown any symptoms when she saw him scant moments ago.
"Now Kaito-kun. You should go back..." Yuusaku placed a hand on Kaito's shoulders, pushing lightly towards the doorway.
"No. I'm staying." Kaito said with much determination, the detective's previous wrongs having been forgotten. "I'm not leaving him."
Knowing there was on point in trying to convince Kaito to leave, Yuusaku sighed and relented. Better to let him do as he pleased.
He was interrupted out of his musings by a scream and yelling. The occupants in the kitchen all rushed out towards the direction of the sound, which turned out to be Shinichi's room. When they entered the room, Yukiko was standing over Shinichi, reaching out to calm him down. At her brief touch, Shinichi started to whimper. When she held on longer, to try and bring him back to the bed, he started screaming.
"Yuu-chan." She was at a lost at what to do. Even now that she released her hold, he was whimpering at the corner, eyes wide and unfocused.
"It's probably due to the fever." Yuusaku took over and approached his son as though approaching a hurt animal. "He could be hallucinating."
It reminded Kaito all too well of the incident not so long ago. The empty eyes and convulsing body.
"Wait." He called out, stopping the author in his steps. "I think...it would be best if I were to try."
Slowly and carefully, he walked towards his detective. He lowered himself to his eye level, but Shinichi was definitely not seeing Kaito directly in front of him. Kaito had a sneaking suspicion that this might be one of those impacts left over from the hypnosis.
"Shinichi." He called out softly, hand reaching to touch his biceps. Shinichi flinched, recoiling back towards the wall. Kaito crawled in closer. "Shinichi, can you hear me?"
Blue unfocused eyes slowly moved from staring at the back walk to where Kaito was kneeling. There was still no sense of recognition. Kaito tried another approach. He lunged forward, hugging his detective in a tight embrace. For a second, Shinichi opened his mouth to start to scream but Kaito was quick to stop him by covering the detective's mouth with his. What seemed like an eternity was mere minutes when blue eyes came back alive again. Kaito moved back when he felt his detective was in the right mindset once more.
"Kai...to?" Shinichi's voice was tiny and unsure. It was as though speaking any louder would drive his magician away.
Kaito smiled, hand cupping Shinichi's face with fingers brushing away the tear trails.
"Kaito, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Shinichi fell into Kaito's chest, arms wrapping around the neck. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I only wanted to make sure they won't approach you anymore. I should have called you earlier, to tell you." He started to ramble.
"Shh..." Kaito petted his detective, smoothing out the sweat dampened hair. His detective still felt warm to the touch, possibly still running a fever. But he was glad he managed to pull Shinichi out of the horrid hallucination.
It took some careful manoeuvring but Kaito finally coaxed Shinichi into bed. He stayed until he was sure the detective was resting before moving into the dinning room where everyone waited for him to tell his tale of what happened all those months ago.
To say that the parents were distressed was an understatement.
"The following is only my speculation but I do believe this is what happened." Yuusaku took off his glasses to give them a good wipe before replacing them on the bridge of his nose. "The stress from his operation culminated with the fever from infection brought about a relapse, if you will. Because of Shinichi's mental prowess, he was able to throw off the hypnosis the first time round, but it was not without scars. Recent events brought about a relapse, which was what happened just then."
"Damn it." Kaito slammed his fist onto the table and swore uncharacteristically. "Even in captivity, Spider continues to wreck havoc! I should have done something about it sooner!" Chikage placed a calming hand on her son's shoulder, hoping to remind him to think before he does something rash.
"Isn't there anything we can do Yuu-chan?" She leaned towards the author for warmth.
"I'd suggest Shinichi to see a psychologist but I'm not sure if that will really help. We know how reluctant he is towards any medical facilities and personnel." Yuusaku let out a tired sigh before muttering, "it would probably do more harm than good."
Yukiko giggled, hiding it behind her fists. The Kurobas looked it them questioningly.
"Oh yes. He's always running away from hospitals the moment he wakes up. I think we actually told the police to expect him to do that. And leave a set of clothing for him to change out of when he escapes. No point in running about in a hospital gown."
"You two are spoiling him too much." Even Chikage found the very thought amusing even if it was distressing.
"But back to your question Yukiko, I don't think there's anything we can do."
Everyone was left in silence as they stew over the situation. In the end, the Kurobas stayed in Beika for the night. They were both given guest rooms but Kaito moved to stay in Shinichi's room instead.
Laying beside his detective, he brushed aside the stray strands of hair, noting the slight whimpering escaping from Shinichi every time their skin touched. There were also soft mutterings of apologies and Kaito's name. Spooning his detective into a tight embrace, he tried to comfort his detective with his body's warmth. It did some good as Shinichi let out a sigh of relief.
"Love, I'm not going to let you go, even if you try to push me away. But you did hurt me this time." Kaito nuzzled into Shinichi. "Don't do something so stupid again." Shinichi mumbled some incoherent words as though to respond. Kaito took this to mean agreement even if the detective did so unconsciously.
Although their parents said he was too quick to forgive, but in Kaito's mind, there was no wrong done in the first place. It wasn't a case of forgiving but putting themselves in each others shoes. Though, for the record, Shinichi will have to make it up to him, once he has recovered.
"You just racked up a lot more debt Dear." Kaito placed a gentle kiss on Shinichi's temples, who reacted by leaning closer into Kaito. It was good to know that Shinichi's body still was able to recognise Kaito despite whatever horrible situations his mind conjured up. But for now, they would rest and wait for his detective to recover.
-TBC-
