Priest

"Hey Princess Puckett," Freddie grinned, walking into Carly and Sam's shared apartment with Gibby at his heels. He leaned down to give his fiancé, who was laying on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn, a quick kiss.

"You won't be able to call her that much longer," Carly pointed out. "Soon it will be Princess Benson."

Sam grinned, moving over to make room for Freddie next to her. "So did you guys order the pizza?"

"Yeah, it's on the way," Freddie nodded, wrapping his arms around her.

"Hey, by the way, I invited a friend over here," Gibby said.

Sam frowned. "Since when do you have other friends?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like…" Sam said. "That you don't have other friends. You're lucky you somehow roped us into your life. And anyway, you can't just invite total strangers to our apartment! That's totally-"

"Now, now," Carly cut her off. "Gibby's allowed to have other friends. I think it's great that you're bringing someone new into our little circle of pals, Gib. Now, tell me, this friend of yours…does he happen to be a cute, single dude?"

"You are unbelievable, Shay," Freddie chuckled.

"Well with all this wedding talk going on, I'm starting to feel lonely!" Carly defended.

"Oh, speaking of the wedding," Freddie said, turning to Sam. "I found-"

"No! No!" Sam said quickly, covering her ears with her hands. "No wedding talk tonight, remember! I just spent six hours with Carly looking at wedding dresses, and I'm exhausted! I just want to watch a movie, eat some pizza, and not think about flower arrangements or dresses or any of the other stuff that stresses me out."

"Fine," Freddie shrugged. "I guess I won't tell you how I managed to get Father McGarthy, the world's fattest priest, to officially marry us."

"Whoa, are you serious?" Sam exclaimed. "My idol's gonna be at my wedding?"

"I can't say, you don't want to talk about wedding stuff," Freddie said. He gave her a quick peck on the lips. "But yeah, he's gonna be there."

"Oh my God! I love you, baby!" Sam cried, attacking Freddie's lips with her own.

"Man…I hope your friend's cute, Gib," Carly sighed, watching her two best friend begin their make out session.

Just then there was a knock at the door, pulling Sam and Freddie back into reality.

"Oh! That's Ruben!" Gibby said excitedly, running to the door.

"Ruben?" Freddie repeated. "Ruben…why does that name ring a bell?"

"Isn't a Ruben a sandwich?" Carly asked.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "But Fredward's right. I feel like we met a Ruben that was a friend of Gibby's before, I just can't remember when."

"You know, I think you guys are right," Carly said. "Maybe it was at his sixteenth birthday party, or-Wait! I remember! It was back when we were thirteen!"

"Okay, so you remember something from ten years ago now, but you couldn't remember to buy me more bacon yesterday?" Sam frowned.

"When did we meet him when we were thirteen?" Freddie asked.

"Well, if it's the same Ruben…" Carly said. "It was back when we first started doing iCarly. And Gibby was all depressed-"

"That must've been before he started taking that special medicine," Sam chuckled.

"-He was depressed because he wanted to ask out some girl," Carly continued. "So we did that-"

"-Dating game," Freddie nodded. "Yeah, I remember that. But there was no Ruben there."

"No, but Gibby screwed up the dating game and wound up on a date with me, so you went on the date with us with the girl he liked, and I made Sam come with us-"

"-With his weird friend Ruben!" Sam gasped. "Holy chiz that's right! Man, I forgot all about that! That dude was a basket case, though. Remember? He kept saying the weirdest stuff."

"Eh, he's an adult now, maybe he's not that weird anymore," Freddie reasoned. "Just be nice to him, though, Sam."

"Why do I-?"

"Sam," Freddie said, raising an eyebrow.

"Fine," Sam conceded.

"Hey, you guys," Gibby said, walking back into the room, accompanied by a tall, very handsome blonde boy. "This is my old pal Ruben. He used to go to school with us, but then he moved to Australia."

"Hi!" Carly grinned, jumping to her feet and holding out a hand. "I'm Carly. We met briefly when we were thirteen. Wow, you've got quite a tan there, and-"

"Down, girl,' Sam said, yanking her best friend back down on the couch.

"Hey, nice to see you again," Freddie said, shaking Ruben's hand. "I'm Freddie-"

"Oh yeah, I remember you," Ruben grinned. "You were the scrawny dude!"

"Sure," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, you talk normal now," Sam pointed out. "I remember back when we first met you no one could understand anything that came out of your mouth."

"What are you talking about?" Gibby frowned. "Do you know how many late night phone calls me and this guy used to have, Sam? But then he moved to Australia where the time's all backwards and I had to settle for talking to Freddie."

"Yeah, that's not offensive," Freddie mumbled.

"Wait, Sam? I remember you!" Ruben said, giving Sam a hug, which caught her off guard. "Yeah! We went on a date…then you made me cry."

"Um, that-that wasn't a date," Sam said quickly. "That was my best friend getting even with me for making her help me rub lotion all over my chicken pox covered mother."

"Speaking of dating," Carly said, getting back to her feet. "I bet a handsome dude like you has a girlfriend, right?"

"No, I'm single," Ruben said, still staring at Sam.

"Oh! Well then-"

"Hey, Ruben, why don't we tell these guys our cool knock-knock joke?" Gibby interrupted. "My sides are still hurting from when you told it to me on the phone the other day."

"Maybe later," Ruben said, sitting down next to Sam. "Wow, you have really pretty hair."

"Um…thanks," Sam said, giving him a strange look.

Freddie, who had his arm draped around Sam's shoulders, frowned, but said nothing.

"No, I mean it's really beautiful," Ruben said, taking a golden lock and twirling it in his fingers. "And soft…like an angels."

"Yeah, well…conditioner," Sam said awkwardly, quickly pulling her hair out of his grasp.

"Um, so," Freddie said, clapping his hands together. "Who's ready to watch the movie? It's a good one, Sam picked it out. It's supposed to be really scary."

"I love scary movies," Ruben said, moving a bit closer to Sam. "Hey, if you get scared-"

"I don't get scared," Sam said firmly. "But something's starting to make me annoyed-"

"Um, Gibby, why don't you take a seat," Freddie said, signaling for Gibby to sit in between Sam and Ruben.

"Okay," Gibby shrugged, plopping down in the nearby recliner.

"No, Gibby!" Freddie hissed. "I meant-"

"That's okay, I'll just take this spot then," Carly said, sitting in between Ruben and Sam, and Freddie sighed in relief. "So, Ruben, tell me about Australia-"

….

About an hour later, the five adults were watching their movie as they ate their pizza and popcorn.

"Okay, I'm so lost," Carly said. "Why is the killer hiding in the vending machine?"

"Because he's trying to figure out how he can get the amulet!" Sam said, reaching for the bowl of popcorn on Carly's lap. The second she did, Ruben, who had been watching her out of the corner of his eyes, reached into the bowl too, so that their hands met.

Freddie noticed this, and he felt his fists clench. Who did this guy think he was? Ever since he got here, he had been blatantly hitting on Sam! He kept saying how hot she looked, he was practically holding her hand in the popcorn bowl and he had even begun flexing his muscles, trying to get her attention!

"Gibby," Freddie said hotly, getting to his feet. "Can I have a word with you in the kitchen?"

"Why?" Gibby frowned.

"Just come on!" Freddie hissed, grabbing his wrist and pulling him into the other room.

"What?" Gibby said. "I was getting into that movie!"

"Will you do something about Ruben?" Freddie said angrily.

"You see it too?" Gibby sighed.

"Yes!"

"Look, I told him when I invited him over that he couldn't hog all the popcorn," Gibby said. "But that guy's got a problem. He's probably eating just as much as Sam!"

"No, Gibby!" Freddie exclaimed. "I meant do something about him flirting with my fiancé!"

"Sam?"

"No, my other fiancé!" Freddie snapped.

"You have two fiancés?" Gibby gasped. "Dude, not cool. I don't think Sam would be okay with-"

"I don't have two fiancés!" Freddie cried, frustrated.

"Well I sure hope not," Carly said, joining the two in the kitchen.

"Carly!" Freddie said. "What's going on? I thought you were into Ruben! Why aren't you trying to couple up with him? Huh?"

"I tried," Carly shrugged, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "But he doesn't seem interested."

"Oh, so now all of the sudden you're just the type of girl who gives up when a hot guy doesn't seem into you? You're Carly Shay! You never give up!"

"Okay, thanks for making me sound completely desperate," Carly frowned. "Why are you freaking out?"

"Because Ruben's in there all flirty with Sam," Freddie moaned. "And it's starting to really bug me."

"Ah," Carly nodded.

"So who's this other fiancé?" Gibby asked.

"Gibby!"

"Well, thanks for leaving me in there with creepy," Sam said, coming into the kitchen. "Can you control your friend, Gib?"

"See, he has been flirting with her!" Freddie said, putting his arm around Sam. Then he looked down at her. "Wait, if you noticed he was flirting with you, why haven't you shut him down yet?!"

"Because somebody made me promise to be nice!" Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh since when do you listen to me?" Freddie scoffed.

"So are you telling me that you want me to be mean and rude to this guy?" Sam asked.

"More than ever, baby," Freddie nodded.

"Hey, did we move the party to the kitchen?" Ruben asked. "Wow, Sam, those jeans fit you better than-"

"I've got this," Sam whispered to Freddie. She stepped over to Ruben and cleared her throat. "Ruben? You're horseradish village is more vuldacious than forty rat blobs who can't tell their tinglecrops from the bellmags and have less ostriciousy than a can of whipped corn on a hot day in Nantucket."

Gibby gasped.

Ruben's grin faltered. "W-What? You mean that?"

"Every word," Sam said.

"Oh my God! I feel like I was just punched by a puppy!" Ruben sobbed, turned to run out of the apartment.

"Ruben!" Gibby called after his friend starting after him. "Wait!" He turned to Sam and narrowed his eyes. "You never bring up a man's horseradish village. Or his tinglecrops!"

"Wow," Carly said. "Guess he's not completely over his…strangeness."

"What did you say to him?" Freddie asked, amused.

"No idea," Sam shrugged. "But hey, if it worked last time…"

"That's my fiancé," Freddie chuckled, pulling Sam into a deep kiss.

"So," Carly said. "Are we gonna get back to that movie? Or should we go see if Ruben's okay?"

Freddie and Sam exchanged quick looks.

"I mean, that movie was just starting to get pretty suspenseful…" Freddie said.

"We wouldn't want to miss the dumb chick accidently making out with the killer, now would we?" Sam asked.

"Well can we at least rewind it?" Carly asked. "Because I'm still so lost."

….

AN-Hey, so tomorrow morning I'm heading back up to college, so that means that these daily updates are going to be stopping soon. I actually have some oneshots already finished and ready to be posted, so I'll keep putting those up, but once those are gone, updates will be less frequent. I'll try to have something up at least once a week, though. But my actual classes don't start for another week and a half (I have to move up really early for part of an organization I'm in) so I hopefully won't be too busy and can some writing done before I get weighed down by classes. Thanks so much for keeping up with this story and supporting it! And if you have anymore requests, feel free to send them in!