Both of them need to take a deep breath once they pull up to Danny's. Unsure of what storm awaits them, Catherine decides to head for the door first, even though this is Grace's home. Grace is too scared about what Danno's going to do or say.
After knocking on the door twice, the door opens to an unfamiliar face; it must be Melissa. Shit. Catherine should tell her, she'll wait for Danny, but then she realizes this woman is sizing her up, in a womanly way. A vague memory of a conversation she had with Grace places the reason for Melissa's animosity – she's Lynn's friend.
"Hi, I didn't mean to intrude. I can wait until Danny's back."
Catherine turns back to start walking to her car where she's more than happy to wait with Grace when Melissa calls out, "No, no tell her to come in. Danny went out looking for her, and I'll let him know you've brought her." It's not an invitation inside, but Cath isn't leaving Grace. She gives Grace the okay and brushes past Melissa to enter the house.
There's five awkward minutes of silence before Danny walks through the door. For a second his eyes stop over Catherine and he can't believe it's her, but yes, he can. Melissa reads the room and gets the cue that Danny and Catherine need to talk, alone. She beckons Grace to follow her to the backyard, Grace dutifully follows her before turning around and hugging Catherine. She knows this could be the last time she'll ever see her Aunt, an unbearable idea. Catherine lets her go after a moment and braces herself for Hurricane Danny, one she's sure is level 5 catastrophic.
"You've got a lot of balls you know. A lot of balls. Of all the places, you had to come back to Hawaii! Why? Has Steve not suffered enough? He doesn't have it in him to go another round of your game of cat and mouse or should I say catch and release. Do you know how upset he was that he had to find out you were back from Will? And that Grace, Kamekona, and Adam all knew you were here for an entire fucking year before he did? Are you trying to kill him? Are you a sadist? All you do is hurt him! What's wrong with you? Why are you trying to get his closest friends, his actual ohana, to go against him?" Danny's so mad he could strangle Catherine.
"You done?"
"Not hardly, just getting started in fact." Danny fires back. Fuck her for thinking she gets to get off scot-free on this. She has some explaining to do, to him, and probably to Steve.
"I came back because Hawaii is my home. I never intended to have Steve know that I was here. I know he's happy and stable. I just wanted that for myself. I've never searched him out, gone anywhere where he might even remotely be close by, haven't contacted him. Nothing. All I asked was for a little help with getting myself situated back on the island. I told everyone who knew I was here that I didn't want him to know that I was back. I was adamant about that Danny." Her confession still doesn't make it any easier. He knows his partner is somewhere fuming.
"You have to know how hard this is for him, right? This conversation isn't over Catherine, but you need to talk to him. He's a wreck right now." Danny can see in her body language that the Steve – Catherine saga was far from over. He just hoped this wouldn't get messier, but with Steve and Catherine's history and feelings, he wasn't sure that was realistic.
"I know this is hard for him, but we talked the last time we were on a mission and agreed to be friends. We even admitted that we should have never slept together in the first place. I thought he had gotten closure." Catherine's beginning to cry.
"If you cared about closure, why'd you come back? Hawaii's pretty sure, but there are other tropical places to retire from the Spy-I-A."
"Damn it Danny don't you get it?! This island is home. I came back for a year, and he didn't know because Steve and I can't be friends. I tried it, but I can't be around him and Lynn. Or him happy with another woman. Walking in that jungle and realizing he's moved on damn near killed me. I'm not over him, and therefore I cannot be involved in his life specifically, but that doesn't mean I don't still love members of the ohana. Grace, Kono, Kame, they're my family, they've helped me in ways you couldn't even imagine. I am so, so incredibly thankful for the happiness and love I shared with Steve for so many years. I am so thankful for the ohana that's supported him throughout his transition from the SEALs to 5-O. Even if I cannot be a part of Steve's life anymore I will always care about him, I will always love him, I'm still in love with him, but we are toxic for one another." Catherine brings her knees to her chest and rocks back and forth, not even caring her heels are touching Danny's couch.
"No! I very much get it, but when it comes down to it, my loyalty is to Steve's happiness and wellbeing. I'm not worried about yours, sorry. And no, you and Steve are not toxic for each other, it's you. You're toxic. You're like cancer, every time you show up you do immeasurable harm, and then his ohana has to nurse him back to health. Once we get him in remission, boom you show up again." That comment hits Catherine like a ton of bricks. Danny's words ring true, and that sucks, it breaks her already damaged heart.
"I gave Steve so many years; I needed to find myself, who I was outside of the military. I didn't want to lie to Steve about the CIA, but I didn't need him worrying and coming to save me, risking his life in the process. 5-O was his thing, and I needed my own thing, I needed to feel needed and appreciated. I'm sorry, but Steve was not enough at the time, not because I didn't love him, but I am a Navy Brat, all I know is to jump from mission to mission. Being with Steve, here, I was in Steve's world. My friends were Steve's friends; my co-workers were Steve's employees, my whole world was about Steve, with Steve, for Steve. I was suffocating, and I don't know how to communicate that to him without hurting him, so I left. It looks like his life is going just fine, a girlfriend, a dog, a job, even a restaurant. It's like I am damned if I do, damned if I don't. If I stay and leave him alone, I'm the evil bitch who is turning his friends against him; if I am off in the CIA, I'm the bitch who broke Steve's heart and doesn't know when to come home. If I reconcile with Steve, I'm the bitch who stole him from Lynn, a cancer who's permanently here." She makes an exasperated sigh and begins pacing, Danny looks up from the couch and feels conflicted, he wants to tell her no one thinks of her as a bitch, but he knows calling her a bitch pales in comparison to him calling her cancer.
"Cather-"Cath sends up a hand to express she's not finished, Danny lets her finish.
"And it's unfair that everyone blames me for not taking into account Steve's needs, but what about my needs. Steve has abandonment issues; I have issues with staying in one place. Steve hates lies, but I have dark truths he didn't want to see or deal with. Everything about our love is so amplified and intense. It's like neither of us can think straight about one another and truth be told that kind of fire made me scared, but it also propelled me to take risks and explore more about myself. I don't know what will happen concerning Steve, but I do know I'll be living on this island for the rest of my life. I'm tired. I'm old; I want to have a family, I'm done running. I can't apologize for the hurt I've caused Steve, but please believe there's been hurt on both sides. I know you think I lied to you about when we had that conversation before I left for the Agency. I was telling you the truth that there's nothing I would have rather done than stay here on this island, but Steve wasn't enough for me to settle at the time." She pauses and takes a deep breath.
"I wasn't getting what I needed and wanted, the support I so desperately needed, the attention I needed. Because I love Steve and loved life with him, I tried to ignore my own needs until I couldn't. I don't regret leaving because at the time I didn't know what I meant to Steve, we weren't even "dating"! How was I supposed to know he was planning on proposing?" The tears start rolling.
"We had never even talked about marriage! I don't know if I would have stayed if he had asked, but I know I would have accepted and maybe we would have dealt with my CIA life together. I needed missions to help prove to me I was needed, I needed to prove I was capable because I was still reeling from Billy's death. I needed therapy for that Danny; I was suffocating, depressed and anxious. I was so lonely Danny; I needed perspective. I am not making excuses, but I need you to know so that you can tell Steve." At that admission Danny's head rises up, oh no way in hell is he letting Catherine off the hook.
"Uh-uh. No can do. You need to tell Steve this. Steve needs to hear the words. Please even if you want nothing to do with him after, please just talk to him. As much as I hate to say it, you're the only one who can say this to him, and he'll listen. You bring out the best of him and the worst of him. I can't say I want you back in the ohana, I am pissed you were communicating with my daughter behind my back and now you've caused a rift between her and her favorite uncle. You need to make that right. I am pissed we'll probably never eat at Kamekona's again, and he or Steve will back out of the restaurant because of this. You need to repair the damage you've done by resurfacing, even if it wasn't your fault your cover was blown. Repair the damage and then I'm perfectly okay with never seeing you again and you never hurting Steve again." The tone of finality in Danny's voice is intimidating, but Catherine has battled more intimidating men with much more dire consequences. But matters of the heart take a toll on anyone.
It was harsh, but in the heat of the moment, he meant it. He knew never seeing her again wasn't a possibility he wanted to encounter for Grace's and Steve's sakes. He just wanted this drama to be over. Catherine was a part of the ohana even if he didn't like that fact. It's a few minutes before either of them spoke.
"Is Steve's number still the same?"
"What? Yeah, it is, but you better not text him this shit! You owe him a face to face. You owed ME a face to face with him!" Danny's shouting and red as a tomato by this point.
"I am not going to have a text conversation with him Danny. I am going to ask him to talk."
"Just show up at the house. I know he's there, I have his location shared." He lied, he didn't know where Steve was because Steve's phone was off. But it was a good of a guess as any.
"I am not going to that house, Danny. I can't." Her voice breaks again. Danny can't help himself, he envelopes Catherine in a big brotherly hug. As she sobs, he sees over her shoulder that Grace has returned and is crying.
"C'mere monkey. I am sorry I yelled, you're not in trouble." Grace tepidly walks over and joins the hug. Danny knows things are far from over and he knows how much Catherine means to Grace. If Catherine is back, he can't stop his little girl from a relationship with her Aunt who has done nothing, but love, spoil and care for Grace.
Catherine is not off the hook just yet, but he knows he needs to support both Catherine and Steve. If Catherine feels cornered, she'll run, and he can't have that. If Steve feels abandoned, he'll spiral. It's up to Danny to make sure these two grown ass adults don't do more things they'll regret.
