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Finally the sea... I was tired of land.
Dum Spiro, Spero
Translation: While I breathe, I hope
Tony said to take as little as possible but he had noted down one or two specific items that made her raise her eyebrows as she read them out loud from his note.
"Pair of feminine shoes... ok, unusual... dark blue mosaic dress that you wore to the village's spring fair. Why does he remember that dress? Hair brush... Well of course, I'm going to bring that!"
She huffed but packed as he had requested. She did not need her lad disguise at all. Tony had explained to her that for this quest, she did not need to disguise her sex.
Janice hovered as Pepper packed her items quietly in a leather bag. When Pepper turned to her and smiled, she saw Janice was holding something behind her back.
"Pepper, my friend, I have something for you. A small gift. I truly enjoyed having you as a boarder. This is just a small token of my appreciation."
She handed Pepper a delicately ornate head band, plated in gold. Pepper took it reverently. "It is so beautiful... wait, Janice, I cannot accept this. It is too precious." She pushed it back into Janice's hands but Janice pushed it back at her with a smile.
"Listen to me, Pepper. I am an old lady whose time to wear such things has passed. You are a young woman who deserves something nice in return for all she does. And you do a lot for the village, you just do not take enough credit for it.
Janice took the headband and delicately placed it on Pepper's head. She oooed and aahed and when Pepper looked in the mirror, even she had to admit, she did look regal and noble.
She packed it carefully along with the rest of her stuff. She had dressed soberly for the boat ride in one of her brown dresses and a black travelling clock.
She stepped outside, waiting for Tony to arrive. She could not take Aurora with her as the beautiful horse would attract too much attention. Happy would take care of her while Pepper was gone.
She reminded herself on how she was going to behave and act around Tony. Be cool and calm. Do not revert to your teasing banter relationship, no matter how easy it is. Do not let Tony do things for you. He does not owe you anything. Do not... here she paused, a painful lump in her throat. Do not take his attention seriously. Do not ... just be firm, heart. This quest does not mean anything.
She thought about why she had accepted Tony's request. I accepted because of a promise made to a mother... I knew he loved his mother but never did I imagine, Tony harboring such deep sentiment what was a mother's wishful wish to her son. It is dear to him. Surely, I can help him with this.
She schooled her features into as neutral an expression as possible since she heard the thundering rumble of Balthazar riding through the village. Tony came into view, all dressed in black with Buttercup in tow.
As soon as the horses came to a halt, Pepper walked closer and stroked Buttercup's nose and cooed to her, then laughed as Balthazar nudged her with his great head, envious of the attention the mare was receiving.
She patted him as well and snuck a sideways glance at Tony, who quickly looked away when she looked at him. Ah, so you still stare at me when you think I'm not looking.
She mounted Buttercup and they rode off to the port.
Pepper had never been on a boat before. So she was very excited to see The Sambuca, in all her glory, docked at the port.
She boarded, stood on the deck and looked around her with awe. The salty, tangy scent of the sea and the way she could taste the brine in her mouth, made her feel so alive. The breeze blew her hair about and she laughed at the comical way, the seagulls were fighting over a pile of fish.
The boat was a massive galley with a lower deck. There were no women on board and Tony had to pay the captain a huge fee to bring Pepper as it was considered bad luck to have a woman on board a ship. Pepper sensed some tension as she stared at the sullen faces of the crew on the deck but the minute Tony climbed on board behind her, the crew dispersed like flies.
It was a day and half's trip to the Port of Loros by boat. On horseback, the trip would take them 5 or 6 days and Tony stressed that they did not have that much time. The next full moon was in 5 days, so they had to infiltrate the palace by then. Everything weird seemed to be happening around the time of the full moon.
Tony was busy seeing to the horses comfort and making sure their luggage was stored properly. She watched him stride about commandingly, keeping a firm eye on things and taking no nonsense from the crew. His scimitar sheathed at his hip, seemed to serve as a reminder to the crew to behave.
She sighed as she wryly realized she just could not stop looking at Tony. Surprisingly he had trimmed his beard and hair.
Which means he is serious when he says that to infiltrate the palace of Patait, we need to look the part.
She kept watching him surreptitiously as he murmured softly to Balthazar, who had become nervous with the gentle see-sawing motion of the ship. Then he strode to the upper deck.
He looks so dashing and manly, standing at the edge. Confident like he owns the ship and the sea. Attractively broad in the shoulders but narrow at the hips. He is an intriguing mix of contrasts... hard yet soft, firm yet tender... piercing eyes, soft hair and those very soft sensual lips ... wait... why am I thinking about Tony?!
Pepper flushed at where her thoughts had led her. She had no business fantasizing about Lord Stark. He was not hers to have. She looked back at the dock, only to see they had cast off and were a league away from the shore.
Wow, how long was I lost in thought? The dock is fading away now...
She watched as the dock become smaller and smaller. The sea made the boat rock and sway gently. The sun was high in the sky and shone brightly on Pepper's head. God, I am feeling so warm. And everything is moving... The swaying motion seemed to go on and on and the endless blue of the sea around her, was making her feel dizzy. Suddenly she felt very nauseous.
Somehow she ended up on her knees, her stomach roiling but she did not have the strength to stand up. She was vaguely aware of footsteps coming towards her and then two strong arms lifted her carefully by the shoulders and helped her stand.
She instinctively knew it was Tony. Her knees felt so weak, which somehow Tony sensed, so he looped one of her arms around his neck and held her tightly against his side, his arm firmly around her waist.
"Tony" she murmured weakly. "What... what is... I want to... urph..."
He said tenderly to her. "Do not speak, Pepper. It is just a little sea sickness. Your stomach must be upset. Here, let it all out into the sea."
Holding her firmly, he steered her towards the edge of the deck, and held her as she vomited into the sea. With his free hand, he pushed her hair back from her face. She dimly noticed her meager breakfast of gruel leaving her mouth in a chewed up form. Her skin felt warm and her head was aching. She finished vomiting and collapsed back against him weakly, feeling very ill.
Tony somehow managed to steady her, then placing one hand behind her knees and the other behind her back, hoisted her into his arms. Her head lolled weakly on his shoulder. Her eyes closed, the sunshine too hot for her to bear. Her mind, her senses began to turn cloudy. She wanted to drift into unconsciousness.
She felt Tony's chest rumble as he seemed to be yelling something. Then she was lowered to a cot and a cold cloth was gently pressed to her brow, wiping away her sweat. It pressed her eyes and her nose and slowly wiped the vomit from her mouth. She did not feel so hot anymore. Her mouth was dry and she coughed slightly. Then something was pressed to her lips and she tentatively sipped at it. Water. So good. Cold.
She slowly opened one eye to look into Tony's concerned face and a sea of other faces. The faces blurred together in a haze of eyes and hair and she felt claustrophobic, so she moaned and closed her eyes again. Now she clearly heard Tony roar "Hey! Give her space, let her breathe, people! Move away!"
She raised her hand blindly and connected with Tony's firm but prickly jaw. She absently stroked it and she felt it flex beneath her fingertips. Then she cautiously opened one eye. Only to see a pair of molten brown ones looking into hers with a great deal of worry.
"You are not used to the sea. You just need to get your sea legs. You are going to be fine, Pepper."
She cleared her throat and opened both eyes. She was feeling much better. Tony was leaning over her solicitously and caught her hand in his. "Pepper, can you hear me, are you feeling better now?"
Pepper suddenly realized that she was doing the very thing she had firmly told herself not to do: rely on Tony. She sat up hesitantly and pushed him away. He sat back on his heels, letting go of her hand. He is still too close to me. I must get rid of him. I cannot depend on him anymore.
She said firmly, "Lord Stark, I am perfectly fine, I do not need your help. Please go away." She saw him swallow hard, he opened his mouth to protest and she spoke before he could speak. In a low tone, she told him, "I do not need your help, I am very capable of looking after myself. I do not need your attention or your care. Please go away and leave me alone."
His eyes flickered, then hardened and he stood up quickly. Pepper could not see his face very clearly, as the sun was still bright, but she could make out he had tensed. I knew the 'Lord Stark' part would anger him. I prefer his anger to his... tenderness.
He said quietly, "Very well, I will leave you now. Do not go below deck. Stay here and rest, you will feel better soon." He pointed at the horizon. "You are feeling sick because you keep looking at objects that are moving with the ship. Gaze at the horizon. It is stationary, so you will not feel nauseous."
Then before she could thank him, he walked away without a backward glance.
Pepper stayed on deck for the rest of the morning. She was left alone completely as Tony was nowhere in sight and the crew were avoiding her like she was cursed. Which I am, according to the superstitions they follow.
She sat in solitude and watched the horizon as Tony told her to do. He was right, I am not feeling nauseous any more. She got up and walked to the bow of the ship. There was nothing but blue, blue sea for miles ahead and around. The sky was a lighter blue canopy above her, fluffy white clouds dotting its endless space.
She felt a gentle breeze on her face and her body and stretched herself languorously.
If this is the last time, the last quest, the last adventure with Tony, I should enjoy it. I have never seen the sea before and would never have gotten this chance, if it had not been...
She did not want to complete this thought, so she started to whistle loudly and off-tune to herself, her good mood restored . Then she heard a shuffling noise behind her and turned to see a cabin boy coming up behind her, holding a tray with a glass on it. He offered it to her hesitantly and she smiled reassuringly to allay the fear in his eyes.
"Come on, lad, I will not bite you. What is this?"
He said stuttering, "Beg... begging y.. your pardon, marm... this be sent by the Lord... for your illness." He thrust the tray at her and she took the glass before he dropped it. He ran back to the ship's cabin and she sniffed at the contents of the glass. Lemony...
She took a sip and then another. It was a syrupy lemon juice, very citrusy and at first, Pepper was a little confused why Tony felt she needed lemon juice. Then the citrus effect kicked in and she felt alert and active. It helped banish the last of the nauseousness and Pepper felt the fogginess in her head clear. She began to hum in earnest. She was looking forward to seeing Patait.
Lunch was brought to Pepper by the same nervous cabin boy. Simple grilled fish with tomatoes and onions. It was plain but hot and Pepper's appetite had returned after the lemon juice. She ate one fish and then waited for the cabin boy to return, so she could ask for another. He came back with the second fish and another cup of juice, this time apple, which she drank with gusto.
Since it appeared she was banished to the upper deck, she walked around, sipping her juice. She went over to the horses, petting Buttercup, who was busy tucking into some hay. It was then that she saw a shadow fall over the deck and she looked up to see Tony nimbly climbing the main mast.
She gasped and was going to call out but then she stopped herself. He might turn to look at you and fall. He had climbed up so high, she wondered where he was going. Can this man ever sit still? Then she saw him climb into the crow's nest. She turned to go back to her corner of the deck.
Nightfall came soon and Pepper was feeling drowsy. They had left the village early in the morning, so the ride to the dock, her bout of sea sickness and the walking up and down on the deck, had made her tired. The cabin boy came to her. "Marm, marm, his Lordship says you are to use the captain's cabin to sleep."
Pepper smiled at him. "Well, tell his Lordship, that I am perfectly happy to sleep under the stars. He can take the cabin with my compliments."
The cabin boy gulped and ran off.
Pepper grinned at the way Tony was not talking to her directly but was using the hapless cabin boy as a messenger.
She was just rolling up her cloak to serve as a pillow, when the boy returned, bearing a note.
Gulping again, he thrust it at her and stammered, "Pardon, marm, but his Lordship insists you read this here note."
She took it and laughed at Tony's terse message. "For god sake's woman, do not be so stubborn! Sleep in the cabin where it is safe."
But then she wryly thought He's right. Outside one or more of the crew members might get ideas and creep upon me at night. It is safer in the cabin where I think I can lock the door.
She sighed and told the cabin boy. "Alright, messenger, lead me to the captain's cabin."
Pepper was deep in sleep, when the sound of something whispering and moaning slowly, disturbed her slumber. She opened her eyes and for a moment, wondered where she was. Why is my bed swaying gently? Wait, I am on The Sambuca. I am in the captain's cabin.
She sat up and looked at the door. I locked it, so the noise is not coming from in here. Then she heard it again. It was murmuring something over and over again. She could see a shadow against the door. Pepper's heart began to pound. She looked around for a weapon and saw a large candlestick on the table nearby.
She picked it up and stood up, then she slowly walked to the door, candlestick raised. She could hear the murmuring slightly better but its words were muffled by the door. She realized the shadow was something pressed against the door.
She slowly turned the key in the lock and waited for a moment for whatever it was to charge in. Nothing happened, so she slowly opened the door. And looked down to see Tony lying down on the deck floor, his back towards her, talking in his sleep.
Pepper sighed. He has been doing all the talking... good grief. Is he sleeping out here? Yes, the idiot is, look, he's got a bed sheet and his cloak is his pillow. He could have come in, I could have slept on the floor or the chair.
She noticed his chattering was not stopping, so she knelt and leaned closer to him, so she could understand what he was saying. He seems to be talking about someone named Rhodey. Rhodey?
Tony started to jerk in his sleep, crying out. He is having a nightmare. I have to wake him up before he wakes up the whole ship but how?
She gently patted his shoulder. "Tony, Tony, wake up please."
When that did not rouse him, she shook him a little harder. He pushed her hand off and curled up some more. She shook him again and this time he turned towards her and sat up.
He blinked at her drowsily and she explained patiently, "Tony, you were talking in your sleep. I think you were having a nightmare."
He avoided her gaze then, looking away from her but she saw the sadness in his eyes. "What happened, Tony? You kept saying Rhodey, Rhodey over and over again. Who is Rhodey?"
He gruffly told her "Go back to sleep, I need.. I need to think." Saying so, he pushed himself up, wrapped his sheet around his torso and walked towards the bow of the ship.
Pepper worried her lip between her teeth. I should leave him alone with his thoughts. He does not want to talk about it. But... damn it, I am very curious.
She saw him standing there, braced against the edge. His form was silhouetted in the light from the waxing gibbous moon. He was pensively staring at the sea, one leg propped on the edge.
She told herself firmly. Just ask him. Do not do anything for him.
She walked over quietly to where Tony was standing. He did not look at her. She whispered, "Tony, tell me about Rhodey please."
He was so still and silent, his eyes fixed on the moon that she shrugged and turned to walk back to the cabin. He whispered then, "Captain James Rhodes... I called him Rhodey."
She turned towards him, leaning on the edge.
Tony started to speak, staring straight ahead, voice low and sad. "He was a Moor from Andalusia. He and I met in my fifteeneth year, when I was studying under Sir Gregory Parsloe as his squire. James was an orphan and Sir Gregory had adopted him during his travels. He was lonely, I was lonely, loneliness brought two young boys together and we became fast friends. We were so alike and yet so different. Rhodey was the brother I wanted, the best friend I did not know I was missing and a companion, the kind a man can dream of. We spent five years under Sir Gregory. Then I left for King Leoric's service and Rhodey went back to Andalusia, determined to find himself."
Tony was quiet for a few minutes, so quiet that Pepper thought he had drifted off to sleep, standing up, just like that. She nudged him gently and he shook his head as if to clear the drowsiness from it. He continued, his voice even lower, "I do not know what he found in Andalusia but he did not like it, so he returned in a year. I had just joined King Leoric's service and I put in a good word for Rhodes, so that Leoric would enlist him as well."
"From then on, we were inseparable once again. We fought together, drank together, jousted and trained together, we even loved the same women..." Tony chuckled at that and Pepper was taken aback at the way the memory of this Rhodey had animated Tony so. "Rhodes, how can I describe him? I wish you had met him, Pepper, you two would have gotten along so well. He was a good man. Loyal to a fault."
Then Tony turned his head slightly to look at Pepper and she nearly gasped at the dark bleakness in his eyes. "Then of course, he had to be a good friend and follow his stupid friend into certain death. The good one died and the stupid one lived. Of course. Because that is how Fate works."
Pepper pursed her lips. "How did Rhodey die, Tony?"
Tony nodded, taking a deep breath. "We were sent to the Hills of Nioh by King Leoric. Apparently some brigands had robbed one of the King's courtiers and the King wanted revenge. We did not know that there weren't just a few brigands, there was an entire tribe of them, armed to the teeth. And they were angry, very angry because the truth was, the courtier had raped one of their children and they were looking for revenge themselves."
He rubbed his eyes. "Foolish knights, we were, leading our brave men, caught up in the whims of a monarch and his perverted subjects. Anyways, the Hills were a series of cragged, high rocky hills, with a deep, dark valley in the middle. I did not care for my life, I cared for war, for violence, for the sword. Rhodey warned me it could be a trap, it was too quiet. I did not listen, I charged in, uncaring. Of course, they followed me in, being loyal friends and soldiers."
He looked at his hands. "It was a trap. The brigands pounced on us from the cliffs and tore us to pieces in the darkness. I and some of my men, Rhodey included, rode out towards the other end of the valley, desperately trying to escape. We managed to ride out with our lives but... my horse stumbled in the deep snow and broke its neck. I fell and then I turned back to see my men dead in the white, snowy plain. Arrows sticking out from their torsos and heads."
"Rhodey was riding slowly towards me. I was overjoyed, I thought that at least he had managed to escape. Then he fell sideways from his horse. I ran to him and saw a dagger sticking out from the gap between his helmet and shoulder. He was bleeding so heavily. I could not stop the bleeding. So much red blood on the white, white snow. Rhodey's life fading away in the cold. I could not save my loyal friend whose only fault was to follow me into certain death. God spared me and killed my friend, maybe so that I could suffer by realizing that my selfishness, my carelessness had consequences."
Pepper was silent. She did not know what to say. So she took his hand tightly in hers. He looked down at their clasped hands and then he whispered, so low, she almost did not hear him. "I dream of him, I dream of Rhodey and my men and that white snowy plain. They are walking towards me, arrows in their rotting bodies, blood everywhere and they call out to me. 'Brother in arms, they say, come join us in sweet slumber'. Some days I run towards them, some days I run away."
He looked at Pepper then, despair in his eyes. "I met the Dragon in that very snow-filled plain and it saved me. But I will not be a leader of men any more. I cannot be responsible for another any more. I do not want that courtly life any more nor the life of being the sword of a king. I have too much blood on my hands."
She shivered at his words and it seemed to bring him back to the present. He said gruffly, "Go back to sleep, Pepper. It is late."
She whispered "What about you?" and he replied, "I need some time alone." He had not let go of her hand and he rubbed his thumb across her fingers absently. "It is just that... the dream is still fresh in mind. I can not sleep just yet." He let go of her hand and gently pushed her back towards the cabin. As Pepper walked, she turned to see Tony, silhouetted against the night sky, standing in the shadows, silently staring at the half moon.
