HOPE

Hope found himself glued to his computer screen scrolling through the same page for what had to be the third time already that morning; he'd read it so many times he had it memorised. He scrolled down to the singular photo and examined the

piercing blue eyes and rose coloured hair neatly tucked into a bun. She was dressed in a military uniform and sat upright and stiff with the country's flag behind her. There was a smile, but her eyes were serious. It was her, but at the same time he knew it wasn't. It couldn't be.

"Who's this then?" Alyssa had come up behind Hope without his knowing and was leaning over his shoulder looking directly at the screen and Lightning's photo. Hope panicked and minimised the window as a flash of heat rushed through his body.

"Just an old friend," he said quickly, not turning to look at her while he gathered himself.

"Oh, just a friend, is it? Or maybe unrequited love?" She jested.

Hope decided to ignore her probing and turned in his chair to face her, "What brings you down here?"

Alyssa looked disappointed for a moment but replied, "Just thought I'd drop by and see how you're going. Have a chat and all that."

"I'm great, busy, but great. Emile's work is starting to show promise and I think I'm finally hitting my stride in the lecture theatre. Speaking of," Hope made a point of checking his watch, "I have another class I need to get to."

"Really? Bad timing. Hey, how about we grab lunch? Are you free at one?"

Hope stood up from his desk and gathered his phone, laptop and wallet. "Yeah, sure. See you then." He headed out of the office and rushed off to his class, not leaving time for Alyssa to catch up. He still wasn't sure what to make of Alyssa. She had been a good assistant at the Academy, acting as his right hand, but she had also betrayed him. He was willing to be friendly, but he couldn't bring himself to trust her, not even here.

His lecture finished at 12, and instead of going back to his office, he opted to hide out in the engineering library at a desk in a far corner out of sight. It was only early into the new semester, so the library was still relatively quiet. He opened his laptop and clicked open the window with Lightning's face staring back at him. He sighed and closed it. He was still trying to make sense of it all.

It had been a few months since he met with Serah in the cafe. He had hoped meeting in person would be enough for her to recall her memories, but his presence elicited nothing; he was greeted and spoken to like a stranger. If there was some level of recognition, she didn't betray it and he found it infuriating having to pretend and play along.

"Hope, is it?"

Hope had arrived before Serah and situated himself at a small table near the entrance of the cafe. The rain had driven him inside and he thought the table gave the best odds of Serah spotting him. It wasn't a particularly remarkable cafe and looked like most trendy industrial style cafes he was used to visiting in the city: timber floor, exposed brick and no sound insulation.

Hope looked up and nodded in affirmation as Serah greeted him. He stood and shook her hand, a reflex that he realised, too late, was odd for their meeting. Serah gave an awkward smile when their hands released and carefully placed her bag on the table and her wet umbrella on the floor nearby.

"It's bucketing outside! I decided to walk, since I don't live far away. I wish I checked the radar before leaving but thankfully I brought my umbrella." She let out a cheerful laugh and sat down.

Hope nodded and she picked up the menu in front of her.

"This is our favourite cafe, you know. Lightning and I would meet here all the time but I haven't actually been here since…" she trailed off and went back to looking at the menu.

"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened?" Hope asked.

"Ahh, it's still the same." Serah continued, "Eggs Benedict! That was her favourite. I always get the blueberry pancakes though. Maybe I should try the eggs, break out of my comfort zone, you know? What are you thinking of getting?"

When she looked up at Hope he noticed her face was flushed and her eyes wet. She was still grieving, he realised. He would need to take this slowly.

He looked down at the menu, "Why don't we both try her favourite?" He said.

"Good idea!" She beamed.

He eventually got her onto the topic of Lightning's death and what had happened. She was in the military and stationed overseas where she fell in action. Apparently there was an ambush and she sacrificed herself to protect her squad (who all made it out) and had been posthumously awarded the purple heart, the highest recognition for bravery. That sounded like Lightning. Everything sounded like Lightning, including earlier memories Serah shared of her. He had to bite his tongue the entire conversation, quelling the urge to tell her she was wrong. Lightning wasn't dead, he was sure of it.

"Have you seen much of Noel and Mog recently?" He asked casually.

"Who?" Serah looked genuinely confused.

"Nevermind. Old friends that I thought maybe you knew." Hope had peppered the conversation with off hand questions or references from the old world, hoping they might spark recognition, but nothing had worked so far.

After a while Serah asked, "How did you and Lightning know each other again?"

"We worked together."

"Really? Were you close?"

Hope considered his answer, and replied, "We were."

"It's odd I never heard her mention you before."

"It's been a while."

Neither of them spoke for a while before Serah asked, "I don't mean to pry, but did you two go out?"

Hope almost choked on his coffee and felt a blush creep across his face. He quickly placed his cup on the table and wiped his mouth with the serviette.

"No."

Hope flushed anew remembering that part of the conversation. Was he that transparent, or was that the first conclusion everyone just naturally came to? Overall, the meeting had led nowhere. The only new information he managed to glean was Lightning's favourite breakfast menu item. Serah was the most promising starting point and it led nowhere.

Checking the time Hope gathered his things to meet Alyssa. They still clicked so well that even despite Hope's reservations he enjoyed spending time talking to her, particularly about his work. She was quick to understand the outcomes and implications of his findings and provided useful input. He mourned that they could never be close friends like they had been, but work friends would suffice. Plunged into the confusion of the new world with no existing connections Hope spent most of his time working, both on his teaching, mentoring and own research, as well as fostering rapport with colleagues. He figured people were less likely to go digging into his documentation if they liked him. But he was lonely. It was nice to have some familiarity and yet he found himself both avoiding Alyssa and making time to see her. He had no time to make connections outside of work, and any additional spare time was spent trying to find his parents and Lightning.

Alyssa waved from a seat in a nearby cafe just off campus. According to her this cafe made the best coffee and Hope wasn't fussy enough to argue. As a result it had become a regular meeting place for them. She was holding her phone and only looked up when Hope sat down opposite. Her lips were caught in a sly grin and as her eyes peeled off the screen she flicked her wrist to show Hope.

"Look at you!" She beamed, "why didn't you tell me you were being interviewed? I only just found out. You know I don't watch breakfast news. Is that why you were in later than usual on Thursday?"

Hope looked at the phone and smiled, "I hadn't actually looked to see if it was posted online." He said.

"You should see the comments." Alyssa said raising a brow.

Hope laughed nervously and said, "The comments on that site are always ridiculous, you can't take any of them seriously."

Alyssa shrugged, "Anyhow, the fame is well deserved. You're remarkable, you know. You've been here less than six months and already making major waves. I like to think I get some credit though as an informal contributor."

"You're in the acknowledgements, I promise."

"Can I come and see the prototype?"

"It's hardly so sophisticated I'd call it a prototype, but sure. We can go after we eat. I don't promise anything exciting, it will just be a little square under a sunlamp."

Alyssa waved him off, "If it gets the efficiency you mention in the interview I want to see it myself."

They spent the rest of lunch discussing other things, including Hope's new apartment and neighbours, work loads and students before heading back onto campus and to the engineering area. Hope showed Alyssa into the lab and into a small dividing room that housed the sunlamp. He took a small square of what looked like a sandwich if plastic film with a dark dye in the centre, connected electrodes to it and closed it inside the lamp's chamber.

"You're right about it looking unimpressive." Alyssa said.

"The next step is scaling it up more testing." Hope replied, opening a program on an adjacent computer. He pressed start and Alyssa began watching the curve form on the screen as Hope explained. Hope was cut off mid sentence by a knock on the door to the lab.

Before he could move to answer it Alyssa interjected, "I'll go see who it is." and left the room.

"Just one of your students," she said when she came back. "They said they'd come back later"

Hope nodded and went to continue the demonstration but Alyssa cut him off, "Sorry Hope, I just realised I have a meeting to get to. I still want to see the full demo though. See ya!"

Alyssa quickly left the room. Hope cancelled the test, put away his solar cell and headed back into his office; he still had a research grant to write and assignments to mark.

"Did she find you?" Emile's voice broke Hope's concentration. He had a neat pile of marked assignments pushed to one side of his desk and was so absorbed in marking he hadn't heard the door open.

"Sorry, I should've knocked first, hey?" Emile said sheepishly.

"Who?" Hope asked, placing his pen down and looking up at Emile.

"There was a woman who came by earlier looking for you. I directed her here as I thought you'd be in your office or the lab but I had to run to make a tute so I'm not sure if she made it or got lost."

"When was this?"

"Uhh.. probably about one-thirty, quarter-to-two-ish."

Hope thought for a moment, it must have been the interruption at the door when he was showing Alyssa.

"Was it one of my students?" He asked.

"I don't think so, she said she was an old friend of yours. Her name was…uhh... now what was it? It started with L…"

Hope's chest tightened, "Lightning?" He blurted.

"Lightning! That's right. Odd name. I guess you missed her then, huh?"

Hope could feel the blood draining from his face. His heart began to race and his skin pricked with sweat. That was well over an hour ago, he thought. The chances of her still being around was low. What had Alyssa said? The student, it must have been her. She said they said they'd come back later. If that was true, he just had to stay put. But why would Lightning say she was a student to Alyssa but an old friend to Emile? His eyes narrowed. She wouldn't. Was Alyssa really unchanged? Still conniving behind his back? If so, to what end? Surely she didn't remember Lightning, so why lie to him about her? He decided he'd think about that more later. The main thing was she knew where he was and she would come back. This calmed him down enough to take a deep breath and answer Emile, who was looking noticeably anxious at Hope's reaction.

"Thanks Emile. If you see her again, please let me know immediately."

"Sure. Anyway, I'm going to go into the lab if you need me."

With that Emile slunk off, obviously escaping the awkward situation he had created. Hope couldn't blame him; his reaction must have seemed unreasonably extreme. He groaned and put his head in his hands. He was constantly embarrassing himself about Lightning.