Shirt

"Freddie, did you finish editing the last of Super Bra last night?" Carly asked.

"Uh-huh," Freddie nodded, looking up from his Pearbook he was typing on in a beanbag chair up in the iCarly studio.

"And Sam, you picked up the kitty litter, right?" Carly asked. "Sam? Sam?"

"Baby, wake up," Freddie said, gently shaking the shoulder of his girlfriend, who was napping in the beanbag chair next to him.

"Huh, what?" Sam sputtered, her eyes flying open.

"The kitty litter," Carly repeated, somewhat amused. "Did you pick it up?"

"Oh, yeah," Sam nodded. "It's in that bag over there."

"Perfect," Carly said. "I'm trying to make sure we have everything now because tonight we're going to be busy studying for our trig test."

"Oh, right," Freddie said. "We're studying together here?"

"Is your mom home?" Carly asked.

"Yes."

"Then yup, here works," Carly nodded.

"I can't believe you two study for a test a whole week in advance," Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"You could study with us," Freddie pointed out.

"Aw, baby, that's so cute that you think that's going to happen," Sam smiled, leaning over to give him a quick kiss.

"Nice try, Freddie," Carly sighed. "Anyway, just tell me where you put Gibby's pilot shirt for tomorrow night and then we'll be all set."

"You never told me I was supposed to pick up the pilot shirt," Freddie frowned. "You were supposed to do it."

"Um…no I wasn't," Carly said. "And I did tell you that you needed to pick it up from the dry cleaners."

"No," Freddie said, giving a small, awkward chuckle. "You did not, Carls."

"Freddie, I'm pretty sure I remember specifically telling you this," Carly said, pulling on a strained smile. "I said 'Freddie, pick up the pilot's shirt from the dry cleaners'."

"No, I'm positive that you said 'Freddie, picking up the pilot's shirt from the dry cleaners'. As in, you were on your way to do it."

"Well, why wouldn't I have just said, 'Freddie, don't worry about picking up the pilot's shirt because I'm going to do it myself,'?" Carly asked.

"Don't ask me," Freddie shrugged. "You said it."

"No, I didn't!" Carly said again, her voice rising slightly.

"Um…" Sam said, frowning at the odd scene that was unraveling in front of her. "You guys-"

"Carly, if you forgot to pick up the shirt, then just admit it," Freddie said, getting to his feet. "There's no need to try and pass the blame around to me."

"You're the one who forgot to pick up the shirt!" Carly exclaimed.

"You forgot!" Freddie snapped. "Just like you forgot to pick up the chocolate chips for last week's web show!"

Carly gasped. "Well maybe I forgot because I was so busy trying to reedit the credits on the Idiot Farm Girl bit to look less stupid!"

"How dare you insult my editing!" Freddie cried. "Besides, there wasn't much I could do with that video because I spent all my time trying to blotch out a pimple on someone's nose!"

"It was a bug bite!"

"Sure!"

"Hey, guys, what's going on here?" Sam asked, standing up. "Because I'm sort of confused and-"

"Well," Carly said, throwing her hands up in the air. "We might as well cancel the show for tomorrow night since we don't have that shirt!"

"Yeah, and be sure to let all the viewers know it's your fault!" Freddie said loudly.

"That's it!" Carly snapped, glaring at Freddie. "I'm out of here!"

"Me too!" Freddie said angrily, storming out of the studio behind Carly, leaving Sam alone.

"Well," Sam said to the empty studio. "This is new…"

Sam walked into the Shay's apartment next day and spotted Spencer, working on a sculpture.

"I'm sculpting, I'm sculpting things, sculpting things for people to see," Spencer sung quietly to himself.

"Hey, Spence," Sam sighed, flopping down on the couch.

"Oh, hey kid," Spencer said. "What's up?"

"Well, Carly and Freddie are pretty much killing me," Sam said, massaging her temples.

"Um, they're killing you," Spencer frowned.

"Yeah, they're in a big fight," Sam explained. "And since Carly's my best friend and Frednub's my boyfriend, I'm stuck in the middle."

"Wow," Spencer said slowly. "That's…weird."

"I know, right?" Sam nodded. "This isn't supposed to happen! It's supposed to be me and Freddie fighting, with Carly as our mediator, that's how its always been!" And the few times me and Carly have fought, Freddie was our mediator!"

"So why don't you be the mediator?" Spencer asked.

"Have you met me?" Sam frowned. "Do you know how I tell people to solve their problems? I tell them to fight it out in the Octagon!"

"Yeah, that wouldn't end well," Spencer said. "Freddie and Carly don't know how to fight."

"I'm telling you, this is all backwards," Sam said.

"What are they even fighting about anyway?" Spencer asked.

"I don't know, something about who was supposed to pick up a shirt from the dry cleaners," Sam sighed. "We needed it for iCarly tonight, but since they canceled the show…"

"Well why didn't they just run down to the cleaners today and get the shirt?"

"Because, don't you remember? The dry cleaners guy hates us," Sam said. "Because Gibby insulted his mustache. So whenever we bring in our costumes and stuff to be cleaned, we have to make sure we get them the second they're done otherwise the dude gives them away to hobos."

"Ah," Spencer nodded.

"All I know is I can't take this stress," Sam said, getting to her feet. "I'm the one who always causes the tension in the little group! I'm not used to being the one the tension is inflicted on!"

"Where are you going?" Spencer questioned.

"To suck down my stress with a smoothie!"

Sam sat down in the Groovy Smoothie, sipping her Blueberry Blitz.

"Hey, Puckett!" T-Bo said, coming over to her table. "Wanna buy a garlic bulb?"

"No," Sam said. "Unless I can use it to make you go away."

"Are you implying I'm a vampire?" T-Bo frowned.

"Gee, aren't you smart?" Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"What's up with you? Why you sitting here all along?" T-Bo asked. "Where's Carly and Benson?"

"I dunno, but they're driving me nuts," Sam sighed. "They're fighting."

"They're fighting?"

"I know, crazy," Sam sighed. "But yeah, and I'm stuck in the middle. It's been awful. Today at lunch it was the most awkward half-hour of my life. They kept talking only to me. I barely had a chance to finish my extra-ham sandwich. It almost made me glad that Principal Franklin never took my suggestion for a one hour lunch period."

Just then the door of the Groovy Smoothie dinged and Freddie walked in.

"Hey baby," Freddie smiled, sitting down next to Sam. He looked up at T-Bo. "Um, is that a stick of garlic bulbs?"

"Yes," T-Bo snapped. "You got a problem with garlic?"

"No, it just doesn't seem like something you'd sell in a smoothie shop," Freddie said.

"Snob!" T-Bo shouted, heading back towards the counter.

"So what are you doing here?" Freddie asked.

"Just wanted a smoothie," Sam shrugged. "So, um, baby? Did-Did you happen to have a chance to make up with Carly yet?"

"Who said I was making up with her?" Freddie frowned.

"Ugh, please, this is stupid!" Sam said. "I'm the ones who's supposed to get into immature fights, not you guys! What's going on here!"

"Look, I'll be happy to accept an apology from Carly, if she chooses to give me on," Freddie said simply. "But since I did nothing wrong, I don't see the need to go to her and beg for forgiveness."

"Come on, she's one of your best friends," Sam said. "So you two had a little…disagreement? Who cares! You two have been buds for years, and if you guys let a stupid shirt get in the way of that, you're idiots, and-and do you hear me know? I never sound this logical!"

"Sam, this is about my pride," Freddie said firmly. "I'm not going to apologize for something-"

The door of the shop suddenly opened again, and in walked Carly.

"Hey, Sam," Carly said pleasantly. She narrowed eyes when she caught sight of Freddie. "What are you doing here?"

"Having smoothies with my girlfriend, is that a crime?" Freddie said coldly. "What are you doing here?"

"Having smoothies with my best friend," Carly snapped, sitting down on Sam's other side.

"Guys, forget about the stupid shirt already!" Sam exclaimed.

"You know, best friend totally trumps boyfriend," Carly said smugly to Freddie, ignoring Sam's comment.

"In what universe?" Freddie scoffed. "Sam totally sides with me in this, don't you, baby? You know Carly never asked me to pick up any shirt."

"Oh, you're not going to fall for that 'baby' chiz are you?" Carly said, moving closer to Sam. "We're practically sisters! We shared toothbrushes once!"

"I'm not picking sides!" Sam said firmly. "Come on, don't do this! I'm not picking between my boyfriend and my best friend over an argument about a dang shirt!"

"It's not even just about the shirt," Freddie said, crossing his arms. "It's about Carly always thinking she's right."

"I always think I'm right?" Carly laughed. "You always think you're right! Doesn't he, Sam?"

"Sam, you know that's not true," Freddie said. "Let's get out of here, baby, I'll go buy you some Churros!"

"No, let's go to Build-A-Bra!" Carly said, grabbing Sam's wrist.

"Okay, that's it, you're both insane!" Sam said loudly, kicking away her chair as she got to her feet. "And for your information, you both always think you're right! Neither of you ever admit when you're wrong about something! It's annoying! And you know what else? You're both acting like-like me! Yeah, that's right! And there's only room for one Sam Puckett in a group, so you two better stop acting immature and stubborn and leave that to me because I can't take it!"

And with that she stormed out of the Groovy Smoothie, leaving a very confused Carly and Freddie behind.

The next day at school, Sam stood at her locker, waiting for the small microwave inside it to finish warming up her Food Pocket.

Just as the microwave finished, Carly and Freddie walked slowly around the corner and stopped next to Sam.

"H-Hey," Carly said.

Sam didn't reply as she pulled her snack out of her locker. She simply glared at them.

"Listen, baby," Freddie sighed. "We wanted to apologize for the way we acted yesterday…it wasn't fair to try and put you in the middle of things."

"Yeah, it was our fight, not yours," Carly agreed. "You shouldn't have had to choose between your boyfriend and best friend. And you were right, we were acting stupid. I mean, we got crazy over a stupid shirt, and like you said, neither one of us likes admitting we're wrong, so I guess we just got a little…hotheaded."

"But we're truly sorry, Sam," Freddie said. "And-And Carly and I talked yesterday after you left, and we made up."

"So things are good again," Carly said, giving her a small smile. "Aren't you happy?"

"Sam?" Freddie frowned. "Did you hear us?"

"Um, y-yeah," Sam nodded slowly. "Just…not really used to being on the receiving end on one of these speeches. It's…it's something."

"So do you forgive us?" Carly chuckled.

Sam rolled her eyes. "I'd be sort of a hypocrite if I didn't. How many fights of mine have you guys helped fix?"

"Aw," Carly said happily, holding out her arms. "So do this mean we can-"

"No!" Sam said firmly. "No group hug!"

"Fine," Carly sighed.

"Oh, and I almost forgot about this," Sam said, unzipping her backpack and tossing the two of them a blue pilot's shirt.

"Whoa, you got the shirt?" Freddie said, examining the piece of clothing.

"Mama knows how to get things done," Sam said proudly.

"Well how'd you get it?" Carly asked. "The dry cleaner guy gives our stuff away to hobos if we don't pick it up right away."

"I know," Sam nodded. "But yesterday when I was walking home after the Groovy Smoothie, I saw a hobo wearing this, so I traded him my snow cone for it."

"Isn't my girlfriend the best?" Freddie said, putting an around Sam.

"Yes," Sam grinned. "I am. Now I'm gonna go have some fun out in the teacher's parking lot. I feel like I've been too reasonable and logical lately."

"So you're solution is to trash teachers' cars?" Carly frowned.

"It's the solution to everything," Sam shrugged, grabbing a can of spray paint from her locker. "Later!"

As she ran off, with Carly and Freddie right behind her, voicing their protests, she smiled to herself.

Back to normal, she thought. At last.