"Danny, what the hell are you talking about? You saw Catherine last night?! And you didn't think to, I don't know, fucking call me?!"
"No, Steven, I did not think to call you. You're not with her, you actually have a girlfriend, who you very much like – or did until Catherine resurfaced. You've been off your game since she's been back, you don't care about the restaurant, you are mad half the time and distant the other half. So, no, I didn't think to call you."
Steve is floored by Danny's words, there are so many words Steve wants to say, so many ways he wants to hurt Danny, but Danny is right.
"I love her Danny, I will always love her. She gave me an ultimatum, I was hesitant, we tried therapy, and I stepped out for a conversation with the team, she left." Steve sees Lou's nodding his head, his expression marred with disappointment.
"Wait, wait, let me get this straight: this anger problem of yours that you're seeing a doctor for is therapy with Catherine?! Jesus Christ, Steve! What the fuck is wrong with you? I knew you were sleeping with her again, so now you're cheating on Lynn and working out things with your ex while stringing Lynn along. I'm fucking disgusted with you right now." Danny had only been partially right; Steve had been stringing Lynn along, but he hadn't "cheated" per se.
"You wanna talk about being fucking disgusted, Danny?! How about you crawling back to your ex-wife after Melissa broke up with you? How about you sleeping with her until Melissa took your stupid ass back, making your kids think Mommy and Daddy are back together? Or how my girlfriend has to console your girlfriend because she's worried you're gonna leave her for Rachel any day?!"
"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Danny's on his feet now, and so is Steve. Lou's intercepting Danny, and Junior's come in to hold Steve back. Steve and Danny continue lashing out at one another as Lou forces Danny back to his office. Before Danny's out the door, he hollers one more time.
"I had it wrong this whole time! Catherine's smart to leave; because you don't care about anyone's feelings other than your own! Hey guys, guess what, Super SEAL is a super dick. Fucking garbage." Danny's words slice his partner in half, but he's too mad to see. Lou sends Danny home immediately with strict orders to stay put; he'll be by for lunch.
"Steve, sit down. I want you to listen too because I am only going to tell you this once. You need to stop bringing in your personal shit to the office, throwing around other people's dirty laundry out in the open, and you need to apologize to Danny."
"I'm not apologizing to that piece of shit."
"Stop it, Steve. Before you can rip into someone about their shit, your shit needs to be together, and right now you're being a real fucking dick because your shit is chaotic. Figure out what the fuck you want, if that's Catherine, why are you still with Lynn? Danny wasn't wrong, I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. You're being selfish, you want your cake and to eat it too, you don't care how that's affecting other people. Look, I love you, you're my brother, so I want you to hear me, I mean really hear me when I say this, ok?"
Steve respects Lou immensely, he's already acted like an asshole following his own head, maybe he should listen to someone else for a change. He replies with a timid, "ok" to Lou before Lou drops one of his pearls of wisdom.
"You need to make things right with the most important people in your life. You're losing friendships left and right trying to rekindle your relationship with Catherine, and you still don't got her! You didn't even do what she asked you to do! All she asked was for you to be present and pay attention to her and care about the things she cares about. You couldn't pull yourself from the job for one hour? You say you want her, but you're still with Lynn? Figure that shit out Steve. You don't get to be angry with Kamekona for not letting you know she's back because you haven't committed to getting her back. So now you're stringing two women along. You need to give Danny time, you don't think he's noticed you've been distant, lost in your own thoughts? Steve, we all have noticed, and right now we don't know who you are. Man up, and fix this shit, or it's only gonna get worse; then you'll truly be alone." After that Lou mimics dropping a mic and pulls Junior out with him, 5-O has work to do, and lately, Lou's been capable of captaining the ship as Danny and Steve's heads have been up their asses.
A dejected Steve knows he's fucked up, but he doesn't know how to get himself out of this clusterfuck of problems he's created. First things first, he needs to clear his head. He goes home and takes a ten-mile run, not even bringing Eddie. Then he swims for almost two hours. He calls Lynn and asks to meet for dinner, she had plans with her girlfriends but could come after dinner. They agree on meeting for a nightcap at a bar close by.
He's apprehensive about meeting her and breaking up with her, but he knows it's the first step to getting his shit back together. Their relationship had been ongoing for the last two/three years, but it had always been casual. There was no push for marriage, and kids like Melissa pushed Danny. They slept together two times a week like clockwork, sometimes three if had been a particularly hard week. It was so much calmer with Lynn; he liked having sex with her, but it was dull and routine. Lynn was stable, but she didn't provide him stability – only Cath had.
With Catherine, the sex was mind-blowing, infused with love, and much more frequent. It was like he could never get enough of her, back when they'd both worked at 5-O she'd have to drag Steve out of bed daily because all he wanted was to stay in that bed with her all day. He missed waking up to her, holding her before he fell asleep, even her little snore.
He decides he won't call Catherine or Danny just yet, but he will go and make things right with Kamekona. He's missed his friend, he's missed the shrimp, and he knows that his embargo of Kamekona's food was irritating 5-O. Before he knows it, he's parked out front of the shrimp truck. Eddie is whining because Steve's cut the Silverado off, but they haven't gotten out, and it's starting to get hot. He's not about to let Eddie die of heat stroke, so they're out of the car, making their way to the shrimp stand. He spots Kamekona and Flippa sitting behind the food truck, and he walks up to them, his face is hard, but his heart is soft, and he hopes they see he's sincere.
"Kamekona. Flippa. Look, I'm sorry I was an asshole when I found out about Catherine being back on the island. It caught my surprise, and it hurt me that she confided in you two instead of me. I was mad at you, because I do think you should have told me, but I was really pissed at myself. I can't tell you how sorry I am, but I am. I don't expect you to forgive me or anything, but know that the team will be eating at Kamekona's much more frequently. I don't have to come through, but they miss you, and I miss you." Steve hangs his head, he is genuinely sorry. Kamekona gives his cousin a look, and Flippa pats Steve on the back before he goes back to the stand. Kame beckons Steve to sit in Flippa's chair. Steve plops down, he's tired, downtrodden, and sick of himself.
"Big Kahuna, we are all good. I'm happy to see you back, I missed you. I am not sorry for not telling you, I was complying with sistah's request, and it wasn't my place to tell you. Though I wish I could have told you. I love you both, and I didn't like being caught in the middle."
"Yeah, I think we've put too many people in the middle of our problems. We are, well we're working on our problems."
"Glad to hear that. I think that's something called 'growth.' Proud of you brotha." Kame stands up and pulls Steve up; he gives Steve a bro hug and a stinging pat on the back. "Sit back here, I'm gonna whip you up something real nice." And as promised, Kame's shrimp hit the spot, God Steve had missed this place.
Steve spends the rest of his day behind the shrimp truck thinking about his life, Doris, his father, Freddie, his fight with Danny, Lou's advice, and of course, the keeper of his heart, Catherine. He finally leaves the beach and goes for a swim on his beach. He needs his mind right, and he's done too much thinking today, not enough action. He showers and throws on a pair of black jeans, and a dark blue button down. He arrives at the bar 30 minutes early, he orders two drinks by the time she walks in; she's slightly drunk and feeling flirty. Shit.
"Hi, Steve." She coos. He moves to a booth to afford them some more privacy, and she follows. By his body language, she can tell what's coming, but Lynn's not ready to give up on their relationship.
"Hi, Lynn."
"Sooo, why are we here and not naked at your place?" She seductively takes a sip of her cocktail and licks her lips. It's sexy sure, but it's not deterring the inevitable.
"I wanted to talk to you about that; I think we should stop seeing each other. My life is a mess, and I really don't wanna complicate yours with my shit."
"Mhm so let me guess this is an 'it's me not you,' that's what we're doing Steve? Are you leaving me for her? She's going to ruin you, Steve." Lynn had known from the second Steve saw Catherine, that he'd break up with her for his first love. She had been delaying the inevitable because she really likes Steve; not that she had seen him beyond having meaningless sex five or six times.
"I'm sorry, but I've got to try. I love her, and maybe she will ruin me, but I have to try. I hope you can understand – I never meant to hurt you. I think you're an amazing woman, who's gonna make someone really happy."
"I thought I made you happy." She's crying now. Shit. He doesn't want to touch her, what's the point in consoling someone you're actively upsetting? He wants Lynn to find happiness and love with someone who's in love with her. As long as Catherine was alive and hell, even in the afterlife, he would never be able to give that to someone other than Catherine Rollins.
"Lynn you've made me incredibly happy. We shared something really special, and I will cherish those times, you came into my life when I needed a friend and a confidant. We had some kickass times these past three years."
"But I am in a losing battle, I'll never be her, right?"
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. You're making the worst decision of your life."
"Lynn, I thought we could be civil about this, I don't want to lose your friendship." She looks at him horrified as if he'd slapped her.
"I'm not your fucking friend Steve, and I'm not gonna be around you and that bitch."
"Hey! Don't talk about her like that!" His voice is escalating.
"Fuck you. Fuck that bitch you're sleeping with, and now you're gonna lose the best thing that ever happened to you. I hope she was worth it, you piece of shit."
"I didn't cheat on you with her, Lynn, I swear. She doesn't know I am breaking up with you. I just want to win her back." It's technically the truth, but it's also technically a lie. He did cheat emotionally, but he had been doing that since he'd been with Lynn. Fucking Lynn and dreaming it's Catherine, accidentally calling her Cath when he climaxes, keeping Catherine's old stuff, the engagement ring still in the house; so yeah, he fucking cheated.
"That's even worse Steve. She's not a homewrecker, you're leaving your home to see if she potentially wants to be with you. Fuck you and her. You deserve each other. Delete my number." She gets up, smooths her skirt down, and heads to the door, but she's got one last thing to say. "Oh yeah and Steve, don't call me when she leaves again, because she will, and you'll have no one. Don't come crawling back to me then. I'm such a catch, and you're leaving me for that slut. Bye." She storms out creating quite a scene, Steve signals to the bartender to get him another beer and a shot.
