-FIRSTS-
Disclaimer: The works of Detective Conan and Magic Kaito belongs to Gosho Aoyama-sensei.
Warning: KaiShin relationship.
A/N: A bit dark. I kinda feel sorry for having to put Kaito through this. I was struggling whether to have Kaito actually do the deed. This is what happened...
First Blood
Kaito took a shaky breath, he could feel his detective, even with the uneven and weaken pants, trying to catch his attention, trying to tell him not to do something stupid. But what was so stupid about sacrificing one's sanity and the life of Shinichi's once-tormentor to saving the life of said detective. Placing a finger on the trigger, Kaito tried not to think, not to imagine the oncoming splatter of red against the girl's clothing. It was difficult to stop his hands from shaking, he could only be merciful in the fact that he would end the life cleanly and not cause too much pain. A shot to the head would be quickest but Kaito wasn't sure if he was up to aiming at such a small target. At least the torso will offer the girl a chance for recovery should he miss. Though Kaito knew Rum wanted him to make sure the girl would stop breathing instead of the possibility of living.
Kaito chance a glance at said man, who had a satisfying smile adorning his features. It was as though he was pleased with Kaito's response, entertained with Kaito's internal struggle against his own ethics. Vermouth, on the other hand, looked to be twitching. It was good to know that the ex-actress was struggling to save them without revealing herself. Turning his gaze back to the girl's heated glare, Kaito tightened his finger around the trigger.
He squeezed his eyes shut the moment he felt the bullet escaped the gun's nozzle, not wanting to see the aftermath and not wanting to face the consequences. He had just killed, taken a life beyond its prime.
"It isn't like you to miss Kuroba-kun. Though I can understand since you are more used to handling your card gun instead of real firearm." Rum's voice bellied his disapproval at the lack of skill.
"Give the boy a break Rum, he's never been trained. Though he does have the potential." Vermouth sounded relieved.
Kaito opened his eyes to see a flutter of cloth floating away from the cart towards the ground. The girl was gasping for air.
"Rum-sama." She pleaded. "I'm sorry. Please, don't let that boy take my life. Don't punish me like that. I'd die by your hands, please have mercy and end me with your hands." She was openly weeping, pleading for her master instead of letting a strangers take her life. Rum ignored the pleas in favour of pouring himself another drink. Kaito has no doubts that the man was waiting for him to take another shot. Shinichi who Kaito was keeping close to his side, was still trying to catch Kaito's attention, to stop this madness and to prevent Kaito from making a mistake.
Vermouth gracefully rose from her seat and sauntered over to where Kaito stood awkwardly, balancing his detective and keeping his aim on the girl.
"You see," she lifted Kaito's chin with her manicured fingers, guiding his face towards her own. "Your problem lies in your posture. The gun's recoil is much harsher than those you're familiar with. This is, after all, a real gun and not a toy." She had this superior air about her that makes Kaito wanted to tune her out. Not only that, but she also made an indirect jab at KID.
Vermouth manoeuvred herself to stand behind Kaito, with one hand firmly gripping his chin and directing him to face at the girl, the left wrapped around his shoulders and held up the gun. Her finger overlapped Kaito's own over the trigger, though just barely.
"Don't close your eyes, keep your arm straight and brace." She whispered into his far, breath dislocating wisps of hair. Vermouth took control of the gun, angling it slightly right. "Aim with both your eyes and hold your breath. Relax and count to three before squeezing the trigger."
Her voice was like a Siren's call and Kaito tried to struggle out of the position. But with Shinichi precariously leaning into his left side, Kaito would dislocate his detective in any sudden movement.
"Good." Vermouth commented at the perceived obedience from Kaito. "The first kill is always the hardest. Now count with me. One."
Vermouth's grip on his chin tightened. She was adamant on Kaito seeing this through.
"Two."
Vermouth placed her thumb over the hammer and pulled it back to load the ammunition. Kaito could see she was in control of the gun. Although the gun is a semi automatic, pulling back the hammer allows for easier control of timing.
"Three."
Kaito wasn't sure who pulled the trigger, Vermouth or himself. He only knew he was the one holding onto the weapon, felt the trigger move when he heard the resulting bang. As though seeing everything in slow motion, Kaito thought he saw the bullet escaping the chamber surrounded by a cloud of smoke and flash of heat. He could see in his mind how the bullet travelled though the air, displacing dust and particles along the way. He could imagine hearing the impact of metal on soft skin, rupturing it and hitting the muscles, destroying blood vessels and cracking bones. He saw the blooming of red, staining the front of the girl's blouse. Her face was set in a mixture of shock, surprise, pain, and betrayal. Kaito was acutely aware he was holding onto the weapon causing the damage. He wanted to move away or let go but Vermouth's grip was strong and had positioned it once more to aim at the girl, firing another two shots in succession. Out of the corner of his eyes, Kaito could see a sliver of blue from behind Shinichi's eyelids. His detective was watching him taking a life. Kaito could already imagine the disappointment that were bound to form on those beautiful sapphire blues.
"There's no need to cry for the weak." Vermouth's voice snapped Kaito away from the horrendous thoughts his mind had conjured within those few seconds. "She had deserved it. What's more, you have just saved your detective." Vermouth finally moved away to return to her own seat.
Kaito immediately slumped down onto the floor, kneeling with the gun in his hands in a death grip. He felt wetness trail down his cheeks, saw droplets falling onto the carpeted floor and tinting it a darker colour. Shinichi, for everything that he had been subjected to, still managed to place a hand over Kaito's and his fingers were fumbling around the tight grip as though to encourage Kaito to let go. Kaito looked away from the floor and directed his eyes slowly up the arm and towards Shinichi's face. He wasn't sure what he should be expecting, betrayal like the girl had shown, guilt like what Kaito was feeling, or disgust because Kaito had sacrifice a young girl's chance in life for Shinichi's own.
But Shinichi's eyes were still the same, understanding and forgiving. It held fondness and care within those translucent blues. Despite the weakness, the bouts of pain shooting through his nerves, Shinichi still managed to let out a calming smile to let his magician know he was not trying to place the blame on him.
"I believe we have cleared out the bad air between us then?" Rum's crisp voice cut through the mental conversation. "Let's leave the past behind and work towards our future. You'd find being partners with us can make both our lives easier. We have many designs for the two of you."
"The antidote." Kaito managed to muster the strength to voice out in barest whisper. He had to clear his throat and steel himself as he stood up from the floor, righting his detective in the chair. He spoke again, this time directing his dulled gaze towards Rum. "Where is the antidote?"
Rum gestured towards the drink placed in front of Shinichi, the one they had been ritualistically going through the action for. In Kaito's periphery vision, he noticed the projection on the walk to be showing a flaming background. The lights inside the restaurant suddenly turned itself off and alarm bells began to ring. A man in fireproof suit entered from the doors, holding a silver case, the one that was in auction just moments ago, and approached Rum.
"Everything has been taken cared of?" Rum asked, receiving a nod in reply. "Good." Turning his attention back towards Kaito, he added "I look forward to our future meetings. Hope you'll give me a satisfactory reply." His footsteps echoed with the clicking of heels from Vermouth. The woman spared a glance of concern for the pair before disappearing through the doors, evacuating the building with the rest of the guests.
Holding Shinichi tight, Kaito reached for the drink. His detective had fallen unconscious again from the way he slumped into Kaito. Balancing his hold on his detective, Kaito tried to coax Shinichi to drink but his detective was not responding as he tried to tip the glass. Running out of both time and ideas, Kaito took the drink to his own mouth, taking a gulp of the liquid, before pressing his own lips onto Shinichi's. With one of his hands, he messaged his detective's throat to force him to drink it.
The tense minutes of waiting for Shinichi to regain consciousness were made more prominent as wisps of smoke snaked its way through the gap at the doors leading towards the front foyer. There was little Kaito could do but wait, and that was dangerous in itself. The longer they stayed, the worst the fire would be. Kaito did not doubt that it was part of Rum's plan to burn away the evidence. The man had no qualms in sacrificing a few civilians.
When Kaito felt Shinichi shift in his arms, he quickly responded.
"Shinichi." Kaito helped Shinichi stand. "We need to get out of here." He tried to not sound too urgent but his detective always knew when situations became dire. Shinichi gripped onto Kaito's forearm as he levered himself to standing position. Testing his own strength, and finding his legs to be sufficiently strong enough to escape, he nodded for Kaito to lead the way.
Instead of heading towards the entrance, Kaito led them towards the kitchen as he deemed it to be a safer route.
The kitchen was deserted, with only the pots and pans standing on the clean, stainless steel surfaces. At least the spotless nature of the place made it simpler to escape. Kaito could feel Shinichi dragging his feet as though they were made of lead, he would have offered to carry his detective but the pointed looks directed at him told him to banish those thoughts. Kaito guided them through the maze of counters and racks towards the service entrance tucked at the furthest wall between the several stacks of cardboard boxes of raw ingredients. Opening the heavy doors let in a rush of cold air. Both shivered as the wind whipped around their body.
Shinichi sneezed as his dress ruffled against the gusts.
"Let's move out into the main street, we should be able to catch a taxi." Kaito took hold of Shinichi's hand to tug him away from the building. His detective was reluctant to leave. Sighing, Kaito turned to fully face Shinichi before laying out his logic. "Unless you want the police seeing you in this, and having to go through their teasing, I would suggest us to leave. You'll catch a cold if we stand around any longer."
Shinichi was suddenly aware of what he was wearing, having forgotten that he was all doled up to work undercover, and was blushing profusely. Although their friends may have seen him in a dress before (quite reluctantly he may add) he had no desire for his fellow co-workers to see him as such (Sato-keiji would tease him relentlessly and he could already foresee various blackmailing photos and lewd gifts in the near future). Nodding enthusiastically, Shinichi let Kaito lead them to the main street.
In the distance, they could hear the wailing from the ambulance and police cars. A fire truck sped past as the two walked further away from the burning building. Kaito briefly wondered what sort of cover up story would be published in tomorrow's papers as he waved down a taxi. He was acutely aware how Shinichi actually latched onto his wrist, tight and not letting go even as they seated themselves on the cheap upholstery. Kaito knew his detective was worried, about his mental and physical state. Giving Shinichi a reassuring squeeze, he placed a calming kiss at his detective's temples before turning his gaze out into the street view. He did not want Shinichi to see the look in his eyes right now, knowing that they looked almost dead to the world. From the window's reflection, Kaito could barely recognise the pale, lifeless violets that were his own eyes.
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When the heavy doors to the Kudo Mansion clicked shut, Kaito ushered his detective up the stair and into the bathroom, instructing him to strip down and climb into the showers. During their ride, Kaito felt Shinichi's skin flush and clammy in quick succession. He knew his detective would be suffering though some repercussion, possibly in the form of a fever. It would be best to have his detective cleaned up as he called for the young scientist next door.
Haibara was not pleased as she stalked through the foyer and up the steps towards the bedroom area where Kaito sat waiting. He gave a quick, and brief, description of what happened and produced the two bottles of liquor that he managed to swipe from the table before their escape.
"You're an idiot." Were the only words she said to him before pointing towards the bathroom area. She carefully placed the bottles into her bag before rummaging through her bag of supplies for a syringe. Kaito assumed she wanted him to check on Shinichi.
Knocking on the door before stepping in, he found Shinichi already dressed in the loose pajamas he had laid out. His detective's face was flushed bright pink and Kaito knew it had nothing to do with the warm air and hot shower. Shinichi scratched his cheeks in embarrassment.
"I think I might be coming down with a fever." He commented with a slight wobble in his stance. Shaking his head, Kaito held onto Shinichi at the shoulders as he guided him back into the bedroom, where the little scientist stood waiting by the bedside. One look had her frowning. She instructed Shinichi to lay down onto the bed before pointing at the bathroom area again as she gave Kaito a pointed look.
"Get yourself cleaned up Kuroba-kun. But before you do, I want to get a sample from you as well." She pulled Kaito down to her level. Obediently, Kaito stuck out his arm to let the scientist jab the needle at the elbow, drawing a vial of blood before dismissing him. Rubbing slightly at the small puncture mark, Kaito walked out leaving the young girl with his detective. He could hear the scientist muttering about how much more stupid they can get and questioning their sanity. To which Shinichi snickered quietly before making a comment of his own in a soft whisper that Kaito could not make out the words.
Kaito striped himself out of the dress and wig and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water soothe the tension around his shoulders. He looked down at his hands, and saw them to be dirty, stained with soot and traces of blood that he knew was all conjured in his mind. Scrubbing his hands harder underneath the warm spray, he reached over to the body wash to proceed with cleaning himself up. When all the soap suds were washed off, he took another look at his hands. They were still dirty by his books, still had that red stain and black soot mark.
"No, I did the right thing." Shaking his head, he dunked it underneath the shower head, letting the water obscure his vision. "It was the right decision, her life for Shinichi's." He justified to himself, running a hand through his hair, spluttering water onto the curtains.
Unconsciously, he reached out towards the curtains and took a fistful of the waterproof material as though to steady himself. He was panting heavily and the water felt cold even if the steam said otherwise. Looking down at the swirl of water draining out of the the tub, he could see wisps of red laced into the transparent liquid. Shivering, he turned the water to a higher temperature, hoping to warm up or at least wash away the tainted water.
"Get a hold of yourself Kaito." He muttered to himself, turning off the showers after he noticed the plume of steam. He ripped open the shower curtains and stepped out, grabbing the dry towel as he scrubbed himself dry. He knew he was applying too much pressure when his skin starts to tender. "Great, I'm really loosing it now." Sighing, he replaced the abused towel onto the rack and dressed himself.
Instead of heading towards the bedroom, Kaito wandered down the stairs to make a cup of tea before settling on the armchair in the library. It was the same chair that Shinichi would occupy whenever he read inside the library. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, nursing his cup of tea, but it wasp long enough that Haibara came to look for him.
"The good news is neither of you are poisoned. Kudo-kun's body was already trying to rid itself of whatever was injected into him long before he was given the antidote. Otherwise, I doubt he would have been able to make such a quick recovery." Haibara awkwardly approached the still magician.
"I'm sensing a but here..." Kaito did not even look away from his blank stare with the bookshelves.
"There is no but." Haibara took out a bottle from her pockets and placed them on the arms of the armchair. "These should help you sleep tonight. Don't think too hard about it. You know that Kudo-kun is not blaming you for your actions."
When the magician did not reply, Haibara sighed again.
"The first time you cause a death is always the worst. My own first was also by the hands of the Organisation, I had to take the life of my boss when they found he was a traitor. They wanted me to take up the science division, wanted to control me. They had me proving myself, just so they would not kill my Nee-chan. They like to break people with such acts. Don't let them get the satisfaction of seeing you broken." Haibara spoke with a tone that was wise beyond her years, one that portrayed pain and guilt. Kaito did not meet those eyes, which he knew to be haunted with darkness, as she tried to comfort him with the exchange of story. He would thank her efforts later, even if it did not bring comfort, but it would be after he made peace in his own mind.
Kaito did not register the scientists leaving, did not hear the front doors locking itself. He remained staring, between the bookshelves, the ground, and his hands. The image of the girl, the expiring of life, was still replaying in his mind.
-TBC-
