AN-So this chapter is a sequel to chapter 375, where Sam and Freddie had to take care of a robot baby for a class. It's actually not too much of a sequel, but it refers back to that chapter.

Drug

"Why did we have to leave Battle of Panthatar reenactment early to come to a drug store?" Gibby moaned as him and Freddie walked into the small store.

"Because," Freddie said simply. "I need to pick up chocolate, tuna, jelly beans, popcorn and peanut butter. Oh, and nausea medicine too."

"What?" Gibby frowned, confused. "What are you going to do with all of that?"

"I won't be doing anything with them," Freddie replied. "They're for Sam. She texted me saying she wanted them, so now I'm buying them for her."

"You're whipped," Gibby mumbled. "You never listen to my text messages."

"For the millionth time, Gib, trying to catch that beaver is a bad idea!" Freddie said. "And I'm not whipped."

"Dude," Gibby said, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine. I'm whipped," Freddie conceded. "But Sam's seven months pregnant and as her husband, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure she's as comfortable as possible until our baby comes. And besides, she's about twenty times scarier now that she's all hormonal. Last night I thought she was going to make some poor telemarketer cry."

"Your baby better be pretty dang cute to make up for missing that battle," Gibby said as Freddie began to place the unusual items in his basket.

"Thanks for the support," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, maybe while we're here, I'll pick up some diapers for Guppy's new pet monkey," Gibby said as the two men passed the diaper aisle.

"I thought Guppy's pet monkey ran away to join the circus," Freddie pointed out.

"Nah, that was his hermit crab," Gibby explained. "He got the monkey to fill the void in his heart. Alright, let's see here…which diapers look good?"

He picked up two packages. "Huh. This is sort of confusing. Did you know there's more than one size of diapers?"

"What?" Freddie frowned. He looked down at the packages. "Oh. I guess there is…Well, that makes sense. Babies grow…"

"Which size do you think would be good for a monkey?" Gibby asked.

"I don't know, maybe the smallest? Or the medium ones? Or how big are the biggest ones?" Freddie asked.

"Well what about these?" Gibby asked, holding up a new package. "These are for the nighttime. What the heck does that mean? Do they glow in the dark?"

"No, of course not," Freddie said.

"Then what do they do?"

"I-I don't know," Freddie said slowly. "Maybe they…sing lullabies?"

"Hey, these say they're have elastic sides," Gibby continued, looking through the rest of the diaper shelf. "What does that do? And do the ones down here with the clown pictures on them seem too creepy for a monkey? Or what about-"

"I don't know, okay?" Freddie suddenly exclaimed loudly, making Gibby drop the diaper packages he was holding in surprise. "I don't know anything about these dang diapers, okay? I don't know which ones you get for a monkey or a clown or a baby! What kind of moron doesn't know how to pick out diapers? Huh? Gibby, do you realize that if I can't even do this that I'm going to be a terrible father once Sam has our baby? Huh? Do you?"

"Okay…I'm sensing a little tension," Gibby said. "So just help me pick out my monkey diapers and then you can tell me what's bothering you."

"I just did!"

"Oh," Gibby said. "I must've zoned out. Can you go over it again?"

"Ah!" Freddie cried out in frustration, quickly shoving his basket into Gibby's arms and storming out of the store.

…..

"I'm telling you Carls, I don't think I can wait another two months for this kid to come," Sam said, shifting in her seat on her couch, trying to get comfortable as she held her Pearphone. "Do you know how many times I've peed today? Sixteen. And it's only noon."

"Oh come on, I'm sure it's not that bad," Carly said on the other line.

"Pfft," Sam scoffed. "My back feels like it's on fire, my feet look like balloons, I feel like I'm about to vomit but I'm sill so hungry, and I actually popped the buttons on my favorite shirt today because I'm huge. Trust me, Carly, pregnancy's no picnic."

"Well…just think," Carly said, trying to cheer up her best friend. "All that will be totally worth it when you finally hold that little baby for the first time in a couple months."

"Yeah," Sam said, showing a small smile. "I'm looking forward to that. And you know, there is another plus side to this pregnancy thing. I've got Freddie in the palm of my hand. I can get him to do whatever I want!"

"You've always been able to do that," Carly chuckled.

"Only to an extent," Sam said. "Believe it or not, the nub does have a backbone every once in awhile. But now I can wake up at four in the morning wanting fried chicken and I'll have it by four-thirty. It's a sweet deal. And just a little while ago I texted him asking for a bunch of snacks and he left that stupid Galaxy Wars convention he was at to get them for me!"

"Just promise you won't abuse your husband too much," Carly said.

"No promises," Sam grinned. "Oh, did I ever tell you about what T-Bo was telling me about the-"

But just then the front door of the house swung open and Freddie stormed in. "Sam! Sam! I am completely lost and I'm completely in over my head and I don't know how to do anything!"

"Uh, Carls…I'll have to call you back," Sam said slowly. "Freddie's being weird."

"Sam, what do I do? Huh?" Freddie asked, sitting down next to his wife.

"You can start by telling me what you're talking about," Sam said. "And hey, did you pick up my snacks?"
"Snacks? Snacks!" Freddie exclaimed, his eyes widening. "Oh man, I forgot all about the snacks! I can't even do that right! Good job, Benson. Way to mess that up too!"

"It's okay," Sam said, concerned about her husband's behavior. "Baby…Are you okay?"

"Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine," Freddie said. "Except for the fact that I'm going to be a father in two months and don't even know what diapers to buy for a monkey!"

"You-You want to back up there?" Sam asked.

"Sam, how-how are we going to do this?" Freddie asked. "I-I don't know the first thing about babies. I can't be responsible for one!"

"Hey," Sam said, sitting up. "What are you talking about? You know about babies."

"No, I don't!" Freddie said. "I don't know what they like or what to do when they cry or how to feed them or any of that stuff! I've never taken care of one before! And now I'm supposed to have one of my own? Sam, I'm going to screw this kid up so bad."

"Freddie, you're just getting a little freaked out because the due date's getting closer," Sam said calmly. "Trust me, you'll be fine."

"No I won't! I'm going to let you and this baby down and-"

"Okay, Benson," Sam said firmly, getting to her feet. "First of all, you will never let me down. And I know you'd never let our baby down."

"But I-"

"And second," Sam continued. "You're not a complete moron, you know, despite how you're acting now. You can figure out how to take care of a baby. Tons of people do it. Yeah, it seems hard, and it is hard, but you learn. It's just some sort of natural instinct, I guess."

"I don't know," Freddie sighed. "I guess I'm just…scared. Sam, this is a baby."

"Really? Because I thought the thing growing inside of me was a watermelon," Sam said, placing a hand on her swollen abdomen.

"You know what I mean," Freddie mumbled.

Sam sat back down next to him and rested her head on his shoulders. His hands instinctively wrapped around her, pulling her closer.

"You don't think I'm scared too?" she whispered.

Freddie looked down at her. "You? But you've never said anything-"

"No," Sam agreed. "But sometimes in the middle of the night, after the eighth time I have to wake up and pee, I just lay in bed for a little bit an think…am I really good enough to be a mom?"

"Baby, of course you are," Freddie said at once.

"I dunno, I'm not exactly the most responsible person on the planet," Sam pointed out. "Or the most nurturing. I mean, Spencer once asked me to hold his guanine pig and I dropped it in a bowl of potato salad."

"I remember that," Freddie said, letting out a small chuckle.

"That potato salad still tasted pretty good," Sam said. "Anyway, but then I remember that one project back in high school."

"Project?" Freddie repeated.

"That one in health class," Sam explained. "Where we had to take care of those robot babies for a week."

"Oh, right," Freddie nodded.

"You remember how awesome we did?" Sam asked. "That was one of my few A's."

"Yeah, I remember," Freddie nodded. "But Sam, no offense, but that was just a project. It wasn't a real baby."

"I know," Sam said. "And a real baby's obviously harder. But don't you also remember how much everyone else struggled with that project? Carly and Gibby both almost had melt downs, Wendy replaced the batteries in her baby with mozzarella sticks and Rip Off Rodney sold his on the Internet. But we did real good, baby. And I always wondered how we managed to pull that off. And then I realized…it was because it was us."

"I'm not following," Freddie said.

"If we were paired with anybody else for that project, we both probably would've had just as hard a time as everyone else," Sam told him. "But it was something about taking care of that little robot baby together that really made it seem…doable." She gripped her husband's hand. "We're a team, Freddie. A good one. We're Sam and Freddie. We're completely dysfunctional, yes, but we're amazing together. If I was having this baby with anybody else, I'd probably be terrified right now and I wouldn't think that there was any way that I could do this. But I'm not with anybody else. I'm with you. I know that we'll do this because we're going to be together during it. We'll raise this baby together and yeah, it will be hard, but well do it."

Freddie sat in complete silence in awe for nearly five minutes after that.

"Wow," he finally managed to say. "I read that some women get pregnancy brain and go completely loopy, but it looks like you become a motivational speaker or something."

"Another point for hormones," Sam shrugged.

"Sam," Freddie said, hugging his wife tight. "I love you. And I love our unborn baby. And you're right. We're going to do this together, and that's what's going to make us succeed."

"Exactly," Sam said, leaning up to give him a kiss. He kissed her back passionately. When the two broke apart, Freddie ran his fingers through her hair.
"I love you," he said again.

"I love you too," Sam said. "But Fredbutt? You're gonna need to go back out and get me those snacks."