Meanwhile, Catherine had dragged her partner to Steve's house before their night on call. She knew Alex didn't want to go; nervous Danny would be there, not particularly a fan of this man named "Steve," and most of all irritated being Catherine's emotional crutch. As her partner pulled up, she noticed all the cars and then within sight of the house all the memories both good and bad came rushing back to her.
"Rollins, you good?" Alex could tell she was not, but he didn't want to point it out to her unless she was willing to talk about it to him.
"Yeah. Let's go, we have to be in the office in an hour and a half. Look Danny's here, maybe you two can have a beer together." She turned the conversation, off of her to stabilize her. Breathe Rollins. You can do this, you've been to this house a million times. You're in a good place with Steve, everything will be fine. Catherine repeatedly told herself over and over as they walked to the back of the house.
The first thing she noticed was how happy everyone looked. Lou and Danny were joking, Steve grilling, Junior, and Tani flirting. Grace ran over and hugged her before hugging a grinning Alex. She remembered Rachel telling her that Grace had met Alex and liked him, an unexpected win for Rachel's confidence in the new relationship. Charlie ran from whatever game Jerry, and he had been engaged in, to say hello to Alex and Catherine. Immediately she noticed the tension in Danny's face; she saw the realization overcome him precisely who Rachel's boyfriend was. Awkward.
Catherine introduced her partner to some of the members of Five-O, she wondered where Steve was, but she felt a little awkward about seeing him in the company of Ohana. What came naturally to her greeting Steve: to wrap her arms around him and kiss him passionately, didn't seem to fit with how she wanted to take things in front of his friends. After a few minutes Danny got up to introduce himself to her partner, and before she could exchange a humorous glance with Alex, she saw Steve walking out the lanai. He was laughing, and he took her breath away; it was like she was sixteen and in a movie. She didn't have time to smile at him before she noticed Melissa leading Lynn out of the house.
What the hell was Lynn doing here? Had Steve lied about breaking up with Lynn? Catherine wondered worst of all: Was Steve playing her?
Catherine wanted nothing more than to beat both of their asses, but she remembered her and Steve weren't exclusive, because of her choice. He was technically off the hook. They might not have been a couple, but undoubtedly Steve wasn't stupid enough to be hanging back out with Lynn. She took a deep breath and went up to say hello. Calm down, Rollins. You have to work, you can't go to jail today. It baffled her that she was always able to stay calm, cool, and collected in life or death situations, but issues with Steve still threatened her composure.
"Thanks for the invite, Steve. We can only stay for a bit, we report in an hour. Hi ladies." She keeps her voice even, although on the inside she's ready to go off. Thankfully, her niece saves her ass from any more awkward conversation pulling her inside of the house to catch up with her. She can't focus on what Grace is telling her because her mind is everywhere but in the present moment. She whips her phone out to text Kono and Rachel separately because between their two level-heads she would be able to calm down.
Lynn and Melissa saunter into the kitchen; Grace and Melissa both quickly exit, noticing the waves of animosity radiating off both Catherine and Lynn.
"Who's that outside? He's cute." Lynn says coolly. Catherine just stares at Lynn, itching to pull her firearm out of its holster. She can't recreate the scene she caused at the mall. But God she wants too.
"I'd give you his number, but you're not really a cop's type." Catherine spouts in a voice as soft as honey but dripping with venom. Two could play that game, Lynn.
"Well, you seem to be everyone's type; Steve, Scott, this guy. Wow. I admire you, I can't keep up with you." Lynn fires back, and Catherine balls her fists pressing them into the counter not to lose control. She's lost her head once with Lynn and she isn't sorry about it, but it won't happen again.
"Lynn, I am trying so hard not to jump across this table. You should go before you start something you can't finish. I don't want to hurt you." Her voice is like steel, cold and forceful.
"I'll go, but only because I don't want you to hurt the baby."
"What? What the hell did you just say?"
"You heard me." And just like that, the anger within Catherine dissipates. She carefully brushes past Lynn and heads to the lanai. Catherine refuses to let her emotions get the best of her in front of these people. She doesn't even look Steve's way by the grill in the yard before she brushes past Alex towards the driveway. He smiles apologetically at Five-O's confused direction and quickly about faces. Once in their service Tahoe, Catherine breaks down in the passenger seat. She tells Alex to get a fucking move on, and he speeds out of the quiet neighborhood worried about his partner and friend.
Lynn knocked the air out of Catherine's lungs. She's never felt this type of pain; it was in her head, her heart, her womb. Lynn wasn't even showing; she'd never wanted to hear this from Lynn. Did Steve know? Is that why Lynn was there? Had Steve called and texted so many times because he tried to break it to Catherine before anyone else? Who else knew?
She's unsure how she's going to make it through the work night. It's been a few hours of fieldwork and Catherine's broken down a few times. An ordinary spat with Steve, even a bad fight, Catherine could rely on drowning in work to relieve her of her sorrows temporarily. But this was different. She could not compete with a baby. Life had just started becoming great, and now the rug had been pulled out from under her. She finally turned her phone on and saw the texts and calls from Grace, Steve, and surprisingly, Danny.
CR: If any part of you loves me, you'll delete my number. There's nothing left to say. I'm happy for you, and I wish it were with me. Please let me go because this is too painful. I'll mail your stuff.
She texts him back before turning her phone off again and leaving it in the car. She doesn't tell her partner what's wrong and she sleeps in the locker room where the Marshals keep a couple cots for on call. Once she's alone, the sobs rack through her. She cries for the babies she'll never have with Steve, the love she's lost, and how stupid she's been that she didn't have children years ago, now that she's 39 and childless. She lets exhaustion take over her, and she succumbs to sleep full of dreams deferred. Even unconscious she's in agony.
~~~ I love the actress Sarah Carter (who plays Lynn), IRL. Super feisty, confident, and witty so in my story her character is has a lot of those traits! ~~~
