This overlaps with Monster 4.3, 4.x, and 4.4.
Chapter 10: What Goes Around...
Okay, it turns out I'm not an expert driver when I've been run ragged for like two weeks or a million years, whichever this has been.
Still, it was hurtful of Taylor to threaten to kill me just because I kept nearly clipping shit. Hurtful and mean and waaaa, totally unnecessary.
And hell, she is spick and span, perfectly good to go., 'cause power bullshit, and she was waaay worse in her brief stint behind the wheel.
She's in no position to criticize, is what I'm saying. Especially because I actually would've been cool with getting some more, you know, sleep, while she handled the driving...
At least sleeping in the goddamn truck is an improvement over sleeping with the 'frickin trees. Warmth, how I have missed thee while sleeping these past way the fuck too longs. Ahhhh. And the food we took from the Dragonslayers is nice. Poptarts. Popcorn. Pop as in soda. Some other thing beginning with 'pop'. Much nicer than the drivel we brought with us.
Eventually it turns out we're running late for Taylor's silly cover story to her dad, and she asks me to call him and let him know we'll be there later than expected, Taylor decides to go hide in the bathroom while I handle the call, and listening in on her panic attack is hilarious. Come on, girl, it's not like he's a supervillain who punishes the slightest misstep with superpowered misery AKA he's not Daddy. It's especially funny since she's panicking as the low-emotion bundle of tentacles. Gosh, what did the dude do to you, girl?
Anyway, that conversation isn't terribly interesting.
"Hello?" goes Mr. Hebert.
With a smile to keep my tone light, I open with, "Heya Taylor's dad, it's Cherie. Was just wanting to let you know we lost track of time out here in the glorious woods-" Yuck. Trees. Pine needles getting into everything. The constant stream of dead squirrels because what the fuck Taylor. "-and so we'll be a couple of days or so late."
He makes an ah noise. Um. Hm. You know, I have no idea what that means. Before I can pursue that thread further, he's marshaled himself or whatever. "That's... good, right? It means you were having fun?" Sounds pretty darn uncertain. Uggh this is annoying. We're too far out, I can't tell if he's putting on a brave face, or just honestly confused, or... or... I dunno! Whatever, it's not important.
So anyway. "Oh, definitely." No, not even- okay yes the suit is way cool. But the woods suck. "Taylor is doing a lot better, I'd say."
There's a pause. Gaaaah how do I read this pause? "I see." See what? "So why are you handling the call, anyway?" Uuuuuh. Um.
Er.
I mean, part of the answer is that the logistics of Taylor using a phone are probably a bit nightmarish -she can manage it, we had our totally awesome and not at all frustrating as all hell phone conversation when we first met... but Taylor isn't wanting her dad in on her superpowered life... I mean, I could just tell him anyway and let her deal with the consequences... but then I'd have to probably change hotels, listen in to the hilarity, and then flee the city forever, going by Taylor's whole... thing with the face-grabbing and the monotone of death and-
"Are you okay?"
Uh wha- oh shit I'm hyperventilating a little. "Nothing! Just been, you know, exercising a lot."
"I see."
Stop saying that you dipshit! I'm not in range to extract your dumbass meaning! God. Okay, so, uh. Why is Taylor's newest best friend who had an abusive boyfriend handling the call instead of the very brave and helpful Taylor who took this vacation in part because the school kicked her out for a couple of weeks or whatever all that is? Uh. "Aaaanyway, Taylor's been running herself ragged, you know? Trying really hard to be nice and accommodating and helpful and all that great stuff, and I wanted to give back a little, yanno?" There, see, makes sense, consistent with the story we've presented.
"I see."
I WILL STAB YOU- calm, Cherie. Calm. He's not trying to get your goat, he's just a dumbass. I mean, Taylor is awkward, and the two of them were hilariously awkward together, so he's probably just a walking talking bundle of awkward doing a poor job of passing itself off as a human being, right? Right. It's all good. Just... uh... well, I was gonna say 'handle him like Taylor', but I'm pretty sure he's not got superpowers or a pressing need to murder people a lot just 'cause. So kind of like Taylor. "Anyway, yeah, that's the status update, anything you wanted me to pass on to Taylor?"
There's a sound I'm pretty sure is papers being shuffled on the other end of the line. "I'll smooth things over with the... ah, the school. And could you let Taylor know I'm here for her, whatever it is she's going through?" Yeah yeah generic supportive parent shit whatevs.
But I keep my tone bright. "Can do." I wait a couple of seconds, half expecting him to say something, but nah, nothing. So with a shrug I say bye and terminate the call.
...
Yeah, this calls for some editorializing. Just a little.
Taylor's all relieved when I let her know the ever so slightly edited version of events. I call her Boss, and she gets all frowny at the word, and that's hilarious.
But to business!
The rest of the trip back to Brockton Goddamn Bay, AKA the Bay Of Loons, AKA the Brocktonite B... b... shit, I sort of thought I had something with baloney, but it doesn't work. Damn. Anyway, the trip back to this terrible, crazy city is surprisingly uneventful. Taylor actually does seem to be a bit at peace, no asking me if I'm detecting anything sketchy going on for us to go in and heroically rescue and/or murder people. Which is good, because I'm not sure I'd want to lie to her in these circumstances and we've passed like three crimes in progress, 99% certain. I'm starting to wonder if the crazy is Americans rather than Brocktonites, given the shit we saw out in the woods...
Anyway.
There's a bit where I'm wondering if Taylor is going to want us to take the truck to her home and drop off the stuff there, but instead she goes asking if I know of any reasonably empty unused warehouses or whatever, which yeah I sort-of-kind-of do inasmuch as I know about decent-sized swathes that people mostly walk around rather than through and so just driving nearby those until we find one that looks like an abandoned warehouse works. (Cracked windows are a pretty big clue) Which is good, because Taylor's dad is still awake and being antsy and sneaking in the tinkertech to Taylor's house would be a wee bit tricky. I'd also be a bit uncomfortable trying to explain to Taylor that her neighborhood has a decent number of PRT employees and Protectorate Heroes living in the area. What with the face-grabbing and terrifying behavior and all when she was oh-so-calmly explaining that secret identities are Serious Business. I think she's still not really picked up on the fact that I bust all that silliness by existing, basically. Which seems a bit unlikely, but I'll take it.
Taylor apparently thought I'd like want to go luxuriate in my hotel room and okay yes kind of a lot yes, but holy shit the Dragonslayer shit is so cool and with all the driving and sleeping and driving and sleeping and calling Taylor's dad and driving and sleeping some more, I haven't really gotten the opportunity to mess around with this stuff. I already know the suit makes me way strong, and I get to fly, and I can pew pew people, but I haven't checked how effective the shots are. Should I expect them to 'splode heads with one pew pew, or will they just inflict massive burns and permanent psychological scarring, or are they way weaker than I'd think and actually just sort of knock people around? I mean, obviously I'm not going to go testing the gun on actual people, not right away anyway, 'cause I don't want to find out the pew pewing is louder or brighter or whatever than expected and call people's attention unexpectedly and so have to explain how the whole 'Dragonslayer suit' thing doesn't actually mean we have anything to do with the Dragonslayers it's a funny coincidence.
...
How are we going to explain this to the Protectorate? Monster and Pride do some paperwork, kill... oh, maybe I can claim we... no, shit. Where would we have hid the loot if we got it from Leet? Errrr. Fuck, I really want to use these suits, they're so fucking awesome, but having them raises so many questions. Maybe we can claim we recruited a tinker who's, like, really shy? Would they buy that? How plausible is that? Man, I don't even know how fuckin' tinkers work. Ugh. Okay, maybe I'll conserve the suits for, like, field work akin to the Dragonslayer hunt, and just be plain ol' pretty Pride when we're running about Brockton Bay? Uuugh lame. Worth considering, but lame.
Whatever. Toys!
(Also, Taylor is being all waaaah angsty or whatever about who knows what and I don't care she can go be angsty on her way home all she wants)
The first thing that happens is I realize I really need to get the truck inside the warehouse instead of out in the alleyway. That's a bit of a nervewracking time, half-expecting someone to overhear and investigate, and a pretty girl dragging a pile of junk into an abandoned warehouse probably looks like an obvious tinker to victimize before they've made real gear. Plus the fucking gate squeals when I finally get it open. Goddamn.
(Taylor sure is taking her time going home. Weird. What is bothering her that she feels the need to delay going home?...)
Aaaaanyway, from there I'm messing around trying to get the generator set up and this silly computer plugged in -I'm really hoping for a nice, useful user's manual, maybe some videos of the Dragonslayers doing stuff, something to reduce the need for my own manual testing- and what the fuck sort of connection system is this? It's like someone looked at sensible sockets and plugs, went 'I can do worse than that', and did exactly that. Why do the tines go out sideways? Why are there four tines? Why do I have to throw a switch to pop them out, and another switch for anything to actually happen?
Bleh.
Naturally, the point at which I think I've got an idea how to turn the damn computer on is the point at which Taylor has been lingering in front of her house for like a minute aaaaand then what must be Velocity zips by. Which would be sort of weird with the hour, but no biggie, except Taylor starts panicking. Which would, itself, be no biggie, because Taylor is maximum paranoia, except that Velocity and her are reacting in ways that look an awful lot like they're reacting to each other. Which implies Velocity is caping at Taylor. Worse yet, one of the damn Protectorate capes I still haven't identified who's hanging out somewhere several stories up and an alarming number of blocks away also seems to be reacting to the scene, which is baffling because they were just patiently waiting around, doing zip until Velocity went after Taylor. Who the eff would that be?
So what, the Protectorate ambushed Taylor? What?
Ugh. Okay, do I help Taylor or not? Existential Crisis says 'yes'. What's in the 'no' crowd? Is there a 'no' crowd? Okay, yes, I'd probably be making myself an enemy of the Protectorate for stepping in, but I don't think it's ever been in the cards to not be antagonistic with them. Come on, I'm a subtle Master who can pry open all their secrets basically incidentally (Hi Cavedude! Having fun at home, I see), my range on my manipulation is a couple of blocks or whatever and goes through walls with no real protection against it, and on top of all that I'm Daddy's kid. I basically have 'villain' stamped on my forehead as far as they're concerned. So I'm pretty sure that it was only ever a question of how long it would take for them to cotton onto me and get all upset and maybe quietly commission a government sniper to oops accidentally asplode my head one day.
So that's not really a 'no'.
Also in the 'no' crowd is that Taylor is terrifying, but that has the caveat that I'm not sure I've got better alternatives. I could go, I dunno, try to take over the Empire from the inside, but they're fucking Nazis so no thanks, I got standards yo, or I could go start over in an entirely different city and all... buuut Taylor is actually fun? Frustrating as all hell, but fun. I'm imagining going out to Boston and making the Butcher mine and then just being so goddamned bored that we come back to the Existential Crisis problem and no no no, not happening.
I mean, I could go get some therapy? But how does that go? 'Yeah doc, the world is boring and pointless and I have no idea what to do next because I don't want to do anything next that isn't super-easy and boring.' There's only so many people you can seduce and/or mind control before it becomes rote, and I passed that point a year ago. And say the therapist takes me seriously, doesn't sensibly freak out and run before I twist them into being mine, etc. It's just a little too easy to imagine a fit of pique leading to me just warping their personality, with me refusing to confront whatever issue they happen to bring up that lurks in the deepest and darkest parts of my psyche. What's even the point of a therapist in that kind of circumstance? Especially since I'm not in complete conscious control of my power. It's not been an issue yet, but I've always wondered if I unconsciously manipulate people without even noticing that I'm doing it, given I do know the details aren't under my precise control. That would make a therapist really pointless.
Also there's that whole 'how do I pay for therapy in the long haul' thing. And 'how do I make money legitimately in general, given I have no skills beyond being a parahuman and trying to make money off my abilities is liable to end in the Birdcage or death'.
Okay, forget it. The 'no' crowd is a bunch of bullshit that is theoretically relevant but is actually not, okay?
So having mulled all that over for a few minutes and fiddled around a bit more with some of the junk, still wondering if I should abandon Taylor anyway, logical thinking be damned, I finally sigh to myself and start suiting up to go join the battle. Rescue Taylor. Whatever the hell. I mean, if we're on the Protectorate's shitlist anyway, I guess my worries about using the suit don't even matter anymore. They're free to think whatever the fuck. Hell, maybe it'll somehow convince them to give us a second chance, I dunno.
Okay, so, the Protectorate cape that's flying or in a tall building or whatever is also involved. Do I go after them, or go to rescue Taylor? I'm not sure how much this cape is actually contributing, and I don't think the Protectorate really has anyone with the range to do much of anything at this distance, amplifying those doubts. Plus I have this niggling suspicion Taylor would somehow turn 'defending her from Protectorate assault with proactive thinking' into 'inappropriate assault for no good reason' in her head and get mad at me. Soooo. Yeah, I think I'm going to just go straight to Taylor and ignore this other cape until I have a specific reason to stop ignoring them.
Of course, by the time I've gotten suited up, waited through the bootup checklist, and am in the air, it turns out the cape is doing something to Taylor. Something really unpleasant, going by how Taylor recoils in shock and a bit of horror and a lot of frustration every time they have their little moment of... it's this combination of calm and anticipation and stuff, a peculiar little pattern. Not sure what it is. I don't recognize this particular pattern. Probably power-related, but... uh... I can't think of a BB Protectorate cape whose power lets them reach out and touch at this kind of range. What, do one of these jerks secretly have a power to inflict pain with a thought, kept on the down-low for PR purposes?
It makes a bit more sense once I start seeing the muzzle flashes.
Rrrriiight. Miss Militia. I'd thought of her more as an Uzi sort of girl, but I guess she can totally snipe after all. So that little pattern is her preparing to fire?...
feeling
muzzle flash
Yes, it goes just before she pulls the trigger, 99% sure. Oh, neat, I might get a chance to dodge bullets! Sweeeeet.
Okay, and nnooow I'm in range to hit Velocity with... rapidly... mounting... PANIC. Oh, ow, I think he tripped and went rolling or something. Yeah, keep panicking dude. There's monsters all around you! Fear! Fear! Okay, aaaand Velocity is... holed up somewhere, freaking. I'm just going to assume he's curled into the fetal position, sucking on his thumb. Because it's funny. Oh, wait, he's moving again. Panic harder! Damn. He's not as ridiculous as friggin' Uber, but he's managing to hold onto his cool enough to keep his focus. I think he's behaving more like... oh, oh duh. He does real fighting, he's probably got, like, training for keeping himself moving through fear, channeling it productively.
...
Note to self: driving people to mortal terror who routinely get into fights isn't as safe as I've historically thought. Stick to depression and whatever. Stuff people don't normally have to deal with in a combat situation.
Okay, so, uh, does this suit have some kind of zoom function? Or a search function? Oh, oh, it lets me mark targets and then there's some auto-aim thing. Niiice. Okay, so I gotta find Miss Militia in my field of view... she's at that height... oh, I think that's the roof of that building. Nothing else nearby seems tall enough. Okay, and so... seriously, is there a zoom- aha! Yes, there's a zoom. It's even picture-in-picture! Nice. Okay, mark her as a target... no, the parahuman, not the goddamn roof edge. No, the parahuman, not her gun. The parahuman. Miss Militia. Fuckit, fine, target the gun, and fi- owowow I didn't expect it to move the goddamn suit arm on its own like that! Ow. That stings, jeez.
Okay, and... Miss Militia startled for a moment, but she wasn't all afraid, and she moved away from the roof's edge. PiP zoom indicates the rifle is melted and -and now it's gone. Oh. Right, she can change it about all she wants, can't she? Great. Oh well, whatever, back to Taylor-
-ow. Jesus fuck, my neck stings now. Holy shit lady, how did you orient on me that fast? Fuckit, lock onto -oh hey, it actually locked onto her this time. Fire! And this time I move my arm with the suit's arm, instead of being jerked about, so that's better. Miss Militia dodges again, oh goddammit Velocity noticed me. No, fuck you, feel sad. Your puppy just died, your girlfriend abandoned you forever for your much hotter sister, your parents wish you were never born, your life is nothing but an endless well of awfulness and there's no hope. Yes, better, now he's staying still for the moment instead of coming after me.
Okay, getting there, getting to Taylor -goddammit stop shooting me! Your stupid pissant rifle doesn't even breach this thing's armor anyway! You're just giving me a headache, stoppit, it's annoying. Christ, I totally thought I was going to get a chance to dodge bullets what is this shit.
(It's funny listening in on Taylor's dad freaking out. Kind of curious why he's so much more invested in these events than other bystanders. Is it because it's right in front of his house? Oh, maybe he's worried Taylor will come back in the middle of the fight. No, wait, surely some other residents would have similar concern, it's not that late in the afternoon. Hmmm. Missing something)
After like four fucking exchanges of this dumbness, I'm finally in range to land and... uhhhh shit that's containment foam. Okay, that explains why Taylor is still here. I'd been wondering, given she wasn't fighting back. Awww yeeaaah, Taylor's feeling some relief. And a lot of other shit that probably means she's mad at me and all, but that sweet, sweet bit of relief is niiiice. Okay, okay, containment foam. What did How Stuff Works say, again? There's some thing the PRT does that lets them clear it away and have it not stick to their dude's guns and... er... okay, there was some proprietary chemical and...
... oh, right! Electricity!
Okay, landing, and... options, options... aha! Oh wow, it's even labeled 'cfoam removal', jeez, I didn't have to go recalling some History Channel show at all. Okay, play it over -uhhh what is Miss Militia doing why is she having that confide
DODGE DEFINITELY DODGE
CRACK
... holy shit look at that asphalt, there's a furrow in it. On the plus side, Miss Militia seems to be regretting whatever big gun she pulled out to make that happen. Anyway, play the electrical doohickey in the left palm over the foam- nope never mind godfuckno Miss Militia is still shooting at me why stoppit. I don't think she's even aiming at me anymore, but having these shots cutting furrows nearby is not exactly calming. And it makes it harder for me to figure out how to dodge. And she's not holding completely still, so shooting at her is probably a waste of my time and-
Oh hey, some idiot is coming at me all angry-like. And turning about, it's a regular joe with a regular shotgun. Hahaha oh wow when he fired I didn't even feel it. The pellets pinging off the suit was noisy, I guess, but wow this is funny. Oh, oh, I can use this! Uh, okay do I like hit him with apathy or no wait I have superstrength now I totally backhand the man, and oh jeez that looks like it hurts, with the blood and the flying tooth and all. And sounds like it hurts. And also sounds like it hurts. Okay, so don't be punching Taylor in the shoulder while in the suit. I mean, she'd presumably heal it off anyway, but I'm pretty sure cracking her collarbone would piss her right off.
Aaaand yes Miss Militia is now hesitating to fire with this idiot civilian writhing in pain, clutching at his jaw, moaning in agony a couple feet away from the foam pile. Excellent, Plan: Implicit Hostage is working. (I mean, it wasn't so much a plan as convenient happenstance but shhhh) So time to focus on Taylor.
Okay, so, play the electricity over the foam this time for reals and hahaha it's like I'm doing Force Lightning one handed. I am become Sith Lord, she who fries Jedi with contempt! Anyway, now the foam is... sort of... flowing a little?... At any rate, Taylor-as-squid-thing is managing to sort of wade through it now, the foam mostly slowing her down instead of sticking and stretching and all. I think some of it is even running off outright. Also I'm pretty sure this isn't how electricity is supposed to work. Man, tinkers are bullshit. Aaaand Miss Militia is doing a thing again fuck this shit I only need the left hand for the electric whatsit and the right for shooting, so if I turn... uh... a bit awkwardly... lock on- oh, the previous lock is still there. Awesome. Fire! Fire fire fire back the fuck off! Yes, she's distracted, and Taylor is almost, almost, come on, hurry up and get out yes she's out.
Okay, so. Uh. Jeeeeez Taylor looks maimed. There's legs not moving of their own volition past some point, legs where ouch half of it has been left behind in the foam, ohhh man. Wow, she's surprisingly calm for someone who's been maimed. I'm going to just assume she'll regenerate this off and not think too hard as to why she'd know to not be concerned, assuming she actually knows and isn't just being overconfident. Which. I don't think overconfidence is really in her character... recklessness, sure, but there's a bit of a difference between expecting to come out of undefined danger okay vs blithely assuming you know how your power works with no antecedent.
Okay, I'd sort of imagined Taylor would want to run on foot at this point, but I don't think that's really an option. Okay, stop firing at Miss Militia for a minute, done with the electricity, double check that Velocity is still panicking and -okay seriously dude panic more on approach, less as you flee, yes, good, good pavlovian dog, good- then say, "Okay Boss, all aboard the train," while holding my arms out. There's a stab of are you fucking serious from her, but then she stumbles, there's some resignation, and she awkwardly flops her way over and into my arms. The suit's arms. Both.
Excellent. Take flight, aaaand let's go the opposite way from the warehouse initially, and oh goddammit Miss Militia is still persisting oh wait she's gone all hesitant fuck her I'm flipping the bird- hahaha she saw that. Not that she got offended, but she reacted. Wow. Okay, that's awesome. That was just venting, I didn't expect her to actually see it.
Nice.
Okay, are they following us? Maybe. Looping around... oh, maybe I should keep Taylor in the loop, speaking of loops that loop. Or... maybe I shouldn't? I'm suddenly imagining letting her know I actually kind of knew these people were there and didn't let her know she might be walking into an ambush. I mean, I had a perfectly good reason for that whole sequence of events, but Taylor hasn't proven the most rational figure around. So. Quiet treatment! If she asks later, I can claim I didn't think she'd be able to hear me. It's a plausible answer.
Okay, the Protectorate Pals are doing... something... ergh, they're definitely focused and all, there's some frustration, some anger... can't tell if it's about me or... okay they're not going the direction I was headed when I left. Hmmm. Oh, maybe this is about that scuffle between Lung and all? Oh, uh, Taylor doesn't know I know Lung is Lung. Errrr. She likes asking me about stuff, scouting with my power. Do I act like I figured out Lung is Lung or... errr... no, I don't think that's plausible as far as she knows. He's not distinctive like Oni Lee is, and while I know Taylor's idea of how my power works doesn't perfectly align with reality I'm not sure exactly where it diverges so let's just not take that particular risk. So. If she asks, Lung is a confident dude, little fear, that's all I know. Right. Not sure if I should let her know I know Oni Lee is Oni Lee... ooooh fff I probably shouldn't, she'd probably have this go into her stupid 'civilian identity is safe from cape shenanigans' garbage and get mad at me.
Why does she believe that crap? Why does she have to be so terrifying about that crap? It just makes this harder than it has to be. Dangit.
Okay, still looping, almost to the warehouse... yeah, okay, I'm pretty sure the Protectorate Pals aren't coming our way. In fact, I think Velocity is already there... no, running on past?... oh, okay, he's running on past the big scuffle with Lung and so on but he's going after some... hm. I'm not actually sure who they are. Anyway, another batch of people, some of them definitely parahumans, who are on past the Lung scuffle. And... oh, I think some of the PRT normies are making their way over to Lung and all. Okay then.
And... the fuck is up with Cavedude? He's talking with one of Jean- Jean- fuck, I can't think his name. It makes my heart hitch and my eyes prick and... no. Bitch and her pals. Yes, that helps. Okay. Anyway, one of them is talking with Cavedude, aaaand... that... ultimately goes nowhere that I can tell. Oh, whatever. This stupid town.
Finally we make it to the warehouse, and to my intense relief no hobos wake up, nobody seems to really notice. Whew.
Okay, prep yourself Cherie. Don't let on to your concerns. Don't let Taylor think you're scared she's maimed for life. You're going to be charming and funny and possibly just a little annoying going by past experience and completely confident that everything is cool, we've escaped and I'm awesome and she should be impressed.
Deep breath.
Okay, land, set Taylor down, and... off the helmet goes.
Oh thank everything.
She's fine. Taylor-the-human is fine.
OKAYINTOTHEACT
"Isn't it traditional that when a knight in shining armor rescues a fair maiden the valorous knight would then be awarded a kiss?" See Taylor? Everything's cool, I'm just bothering you for funny. I'm so at ease with the situation I'm perfectly happy to be joking around, there's absolutely nothing to be concerned about.
Taylor just stares at me for a bit. Okay, that's fine. I didn't really expect her to play along, she doesn't usually even if it would be nice if she would once in a while, and the real point is to use levity to alleviate the fear of death and/or permanent maiming for life. Okay, so since she's not giving me anything to work with, I, um, fuck, you know, I really thought she was going to ask me about the Protectora-
"... I'm heterosexual, Cherie."
-...
Pfffffhahaha. Yeah, you're stubbornly disinterested in me girl, but pfffhahaha no, there's been... oh jeez there's been so many background minor moments throughout her day, and... I think she's even had a tiny bit of lust aimed at Shadow Stalker In Civilian Mode a few times? It's possible I misread that, but haha no, I don't believe for a second Taylor is heterosexual. Maybe borderline asexual, I guess, possibly. Probably not, but eh. But... no. Don't make me laugh-
-oh, I actually don't manage to hold it in. Burst into laughter, tears in my eyes, slapping one hand against the knee. Which stings a little and makes a clanky noise since I'm still in the suit.
I take a minute to get the laughter under control, and once I notice I'm a bit hysterical it dawns on me this is probably less about funny and more about me being that relieved at it turning out Taylor isn't maimed for life. I cover my mouth after that thought occurs. Don't let Taylor know it's anything other than funny. Don't let her know I was concerned about her. Just... keep it on the down-low.
"I'm not into girls."
Okay, it's a good thing this isn't about the funny of her claiming to be heterosexual because otherwise I think I would have burst into laughter again. Ah, shit, maybe I should have, but it's too late now. Okay, uh, what's appropriate. Uh. Smile? No, smirk. Like... like I know something she doesn't know. Okay, um, I know for a damn fact she's not been interested in some of the gruff manly men or the prettyboys or any of the boys... except... fuck, let's gloss over the fact that she was hot for Daddy, ew, let's pretend no. It was a murder boner, Cherie, don't be silly! Actually wait that does make sense. Huh. Awesome, I don't even need to turn to denial. Sweet!
Right, so, uh, if I'm being all Smartier Than Thou and all, I need to... right right, she's totes not into men. Pretty sure. Probably. Fuck, let's use it regardless. Deep breath, deliver it like you believe it girl. "But you're not into men either."
"Bullshit." Okay wow that was fast and reflexive. Hmmm. I'd think Methinks The Lady Doth Protest Too Much, but she was super-bullied. Maybe questioning her heterosexuality was part of the bullying campaign, such that she's got a reflexive reaction to any insinuation of such for self-defense reasons. Happy thought, that. Can't quite parse what that jealous blip was about. That's annoying. It probably would tell me something interesting and useful if I knew what the hell it was, but she's not giving me anything to work with.
Still, I'm... sort of in awe that she actually believes this. "Oh man. Oh man. You really haven't noticed?" Wait shit self-edit properly Cherie that wasn't part of the plan!
"I am heterosexual and that's that." Yeah, no.
Okay, uh, fuckit, let's just go with every little girl's dream. "Alexandria." Ha! There was some lust there! No big fucking surprise there, it's Alexandria. I mean, Narwhal's got more going on with her physique, but I swear she has some bullshit Stranger power because people think her wandering around half-naked is somehow not sexy. Oh wait right I'm supposed to be, like, winning the argument aren't I? "That! That right there! That's what you like!" Okay so are we done with this have I lorded my braininess over her enough for her to-
"Heterosexual. Boys do it for me, not girls."
-nnnope she's still persisting. Agh. Dammit. No, Taylor, that's a pack of lies. "No, no, no, Boss. Uh-uh. I'm not sure what it is that does it for you, but I'm thinking it's just something you find on, uh, 'boys' more commonly." That sounds about plausible for why she thinks she's heterosexual when she's totes not.
"Why are we discussing my sexuality?" Aaaaand Taylor is pissed.
Wait. Wait, we're discussing it because you took a damn joke too seriously! Argh, but now I'm all committed because I kept arguing my point and if I admit I was joking she's not going to believe me and... eeerrrrgh. Great, fucked this up. Backpedal without backpedaling time. "Uh. No reason. Boss." Noncommittal and vague and she can interpret it as a fake statement meant as an obvious apology or... fffuck now I can't assume she's that savvy she didn't realize the joke was a joke how do you not realize that. Great. Wonderful.
On the plus side, Taylor's irritation just... goes away, aside a brief moment of being all suspicious and no I didn't do it dammit you brought this whole stupid thing down on us. Jerk.
Then she asks me, "Are they still following us?" which thank goodness. Finally. Jeez, this was supposed to happen like five minutes ago, god. Clearly I need to adjust how I handle things going forward. Not... sure... how, but clearly yes.
Anyway, so... right, don't call Lung Lung, and... yeah. Be vague! "Two or three-" Wait why is Taylor surprised did she not know about... oh. Oh right, It was just Velocity and Miss Militia doing things. I didn't pay attention to anyone else... fair enough. "-of them wanted to follow us but a scrap started way away in town and everybody involved-" No wait Oni Lee is involved and uuuh vague be vague "-no wait, there's one guy who doesn't care- is surprised, I'm thinking it's because of how big a fight it is, so the Protectorate people stopped following us once I dropped below rooftop in the escape. They went to join up with the big bust-up, which by the way is still going on and it's big and the one guy who doesn't give a fuck is the only guy who's not at least a little scared though most everyone is pretending they're totally not scared and some people are probably going to be in the hospital when this is done, maybe the morgue, nobody's really willing to back down. Too much pride at stake or something? The abstract stuff is always hard to read. Anyway, the Protectorate pals made it to the fight a minute back and they've got a grim confidence thing going on, I'm thinking they're not exactly expecting to win but they're confident they won't lose though it might just be a willingness to die 'cause I've been thrown by that a few times. Probably once this is done they'll be too tired, maybe too injured, to actually follow us just yet... but, uh, I think we're nagging at them? They're not going to just ignore us after this, probably."
Whew. That felt way better than dueling with Taylor over her inclinations.
Taylor does this big sigh and is all frustrated but I don't think it's her being mad at me and I can easily imagine any number of other reasons to be frustrated. Like how she totally failed to go back to her dad successfully. So let's just pretend-slash-assume she's not mad at me until proven otherwise.
Then Taylor starts getting all angsty and I waffle for a minute. Don't think I want to level it off, but not sure if I should offer more ordinary comfort. Eeeeh. Yeah, let's be... cautious and just go with a hand on a shoulder. I totally understand you bro. It's all cool.
She gets all glare-y but not nearly as mad as she was earlier. Wait, is she-? "You're not getting a kiss." Oh man is she playing along? She's not really that mad, maybe she is. Huh. Okay, let's extend the joke then.
Smile, shrug. "Worth a shot." Taylor is... unamused. Eh. Okay, maybe she wasn't playing along, but that wasn't so bad. So I guess if I don't argue with her she doesn't care too much? Hmmm. Arguing is kind of like... verbal combat? And she takes real combat really seriously, waaay more than I do certainly. So maybe arguing with her is like pushing things into being a FIGHT as far as she's concerned? Hmmm. Food for thought.
I take a moment to consider the situation, but I'm pretty sure we're not going to have any violence come our way, going by how that big brawl is going, and... yeah, I should get out of the suit. Let it recharge. Since it... apparently does that... somehow. Tinkers are bullshit.
Oh goddammit Taylor basically immediately starts angsting. Argh. Why? It's not like she likes her school life, and okay her relationship with her father isn't like mine with Daddy, er, was when he was alive, but- uh. Huuuuh. There's some relief going on in there? So maybe she's cottoning on to how she's getting freedom?... huh, yeah. There's a mix of anger and frustration and all, but there's also rising hope and relief and it's a complicated morass of uplifting and downer-ing. HMMMM. That's an improvement! We may yet make a non-angstotron out of you yet, Taylor! Enjoy life, girl! Life is enjoyable! Especially when you're not making yourself go to some ass school filled with asses being asses to you. Like, duh.
Then while I'm done dragging myself out of the power suit part and considering how I'm going to handle transitioning from undersuit to proper clothes, Taylor comes around the corner, apparently not caring about personal space at all BAD FLASHBACKS TO PAULINE NOPE NOPE shut up brain it's not remotely the same she's just... asking me about the suit and what all I'd gotten done. Yeah, that is different from Pauline. Thankfully. These are even easy questions to answer, so long as I conveniently leave out that I was kind of seriously considering maybe abandoning her and running off with all the toys. Which she doesn't even ask anything that requires me to skirt around that, so no biggie.
Then Taylor wants to help me with booting up the computer and fff I don't remember what I was thinking earlier for potentially turning it on. Stupid interruptions. Taylor finds some stupid excuse to angst to herself, which for some reason culminates in her eyeing me like a piece of meat. Well, if she's going to make it so easy... I put on a grin and say, "Like what you see?"
Taylor puts on a big show of anger that is... okay yeah, she's kinda mad, but not as mad as the teeth-gritting and all would suggest. "Not. Happening."
Sure, whatever. So anyway, this stupid monitor... why couldn't the main computer part have just had a built-in monitor? It's tinker bullshit anyway. Anyway, maybe I, uh... hm...
"Cherie, do you have a passport?" She's all intense.
... okay Taylor, that's pretty random, but easy to answer. "Nope."
Taylor eyes me for a second. Okay? "... you don't really need a passport, do you."
Ha! She's learning. Awesome. "Just need a piece of paper, flash it, make them feel everything's cool. You don't even need powers to make it work, but they make it hella easier." Seriously, Jean- fffffffuck. Guillame has done that kind of shit before. Yeah, that works. Still, yeah, I'm good to go. No idea why Taylor is asking, though.
"... I see."
...
No Cherie, don't zap Taylor with mind-bending horror for the crime of being her father's daughter. If only because her response to mind-bending horror is liable to be 'I stab it to death'. Calm. Don't let on how pissed you are. No no, just... pretend like this fucking hunt for this fucking power button and all it what's making you mad. It's not like it's untrue!
Hmmmm. Yeah, I don't think there's a button on this thing. Maybe one of the widgets turns it on? A magnet, or a keycard, or something. Lesse...
"What are you doing?" Uh Taylor why is this upsetting you more than me poking fun at you with the hitting on you stuff.
"Trying stuff. Thinking this might be a magnet." Like seriously girl why are you so upset that I'm doing things to help.
Taylor flinches ohmygod hahaha. "You don't run magnets over a computer unless you want it ruined!"
Taylor. Taaaaylor. Taylor Taylor Taylor. Use your mind, girl. It's... "Tinkertech!" ... which means the rules don't apply. Silly girl.
Taylor's still being all pissy, probably about to say something mean and angry and then ha! There's a click and the computer turns on! Go me, I'm awesome, perfect timing thank you universe, hahaha. I kinda wanna do a triumphant dance, but I think that might go a wee bit too far in Taylor's book. Bad enough I made her look stupid, why compound it with looking like I'm gloating? Which I would be. But only a little! The real point would be triumph over this stupid computer's stupid design with its stupid lack of buttons.
A whole bunch of boring stuff goes on with messing around with this computer thing. It's not very interesting, and the only reason I'm not bored out of my skull is because I'm still listening in to the chaos with the Protectorate and Lung and all. I think Oni Lee cracked a joke somewhere in there. A dark joke, if so. I'm having trouble guessing why else people would be simultaneously horrified and choking on probably-actually-laughter-but-definitely-amusement in response to something Oni Lee did. I wouldn't have pegged Oni Lee as the funny sort, so... interesting.
I'd just go take a nap and leave Taylor to this thing, but she's all concerned she'll break the thing somehow, so she's just leaning on me, using my shoulders to prop herself up while she looks around one shoulder. After all that crap about not liking me hitting on her, she's being awfully quick to just ignore my personal space. Again. I'd think this was mixed signals, but hey, power, I totally can tell there isn't any lust going on there. So no, she's just oblivious. What the hell kind of friendships has she had before? Errrr aside that Emma girl. Or, wait, is this the fault of the Emma girl? Wait, but how would it be? Actually... uuuuh you know... I wonder... was this Emma girl interested in Taylor, and turned to bullying because she got tired of -oh god that would fit with how Emma and Shadow Stalker are all weirdly loyal and protective of each other and all. Shadow Stalker is Emma's rebound! And they're bonding over tormenting Taylor, I guess. Very romantic.
...
I really, really want to share this thought with Taylor, but this seems like maybe possibly the worst possible moment to do so. 'Hey Taylor, while you're still recovering from the emotional impact of having been ambushed by the Protectorate with no real warning and all, lemme explain to you how it's entirely possible it's your own damn fault your ex-girlfriend tortured you so bad you triggered.' Great plan! Let's do it! It'll only be suicidally stupid, right? Right.
Yeah, not happening. Some other time.
Hmmm. It's a telling possibility, though. Ever since we did the emotional testing wackiness, I'd been sort of assuming Taylor's social wonkiness was her power doing things to her, no mundane explanation necessary. But if she drove this Emma girl into the arms of another girl through sheer DERP, and never guessed it on her own... that would rather imply that pre-trigger Taylor was only marginally more insightful and aware than post-trigger Taylor. Or maybe even less, depending on what other changes have been wrought on her. I mean, she doesn't sleep now. That's gotta give ya tons of time for introspect...ion... awwww fuck, I'm talking about Taylor here. When we were camping in the woods she was passing my sleep time murdering squirrels! If she's been using her extra wakey time for introspection, I will buy and eat a hat.
...
Anyway, we find some silly ones and zeroes thing that looks like it might be Dragon's code I guess, and then I eventually yawn and Taylor just orders me to go to sleep like she's a superior officer or something. But she still gets annoyed when I call her Boss. Pffff. But okay, having realized she's probably actually always been a derp, I'm a little more willing to smile tolerantly at her obliviousness while trying to figure out how to get her to stop being so oblivious.
Ultimately I give in with little resistance. I'd rather like to sleep on this whole complicated thought.
