"Great. Not only do I have to fetch Baldy, I have to do it while watching out for mosquitoes."
Tatsumaki really hated bugs. Sure, her barrier protects her from the insects' miserable attacks and she can squish them without ever having to get close, but something about the things irks her to no end, so you can imagine her dismay when the news channel showed a swarm of mosquitoes, apparently a new species, headed straight to City Z where the Baldy resides, attacking creatures and leaving behind mummified remains. Oh well, she's not going to let some puny insects prevent her from keeping her word now is she? So she puts on her... hero uniform, I suppose, and heads to City Z.
As Tatsumaki arrived at the Baldy's doorstep, she couldn't help but feel disgusted. The corridor was cramped, the walls had... some sort of stain overall, the place just seemed abandoned. Well, I suppose it's called the ghost town for a reason, isn't it? Tatsumaki could only imagine how small the apartment was as she knocked on the door.
"Who's there?"
"It's me you idiot! Did you forget our appointment today?"
The door opened, revealing Saitama in a yellow t-shirt, dark green shorts and hideous sandals.
"You're kind of early Tatsumaki, sorry."
Indeed the ESPer arrived at the Baldy's doorstep at 9.30am, 1.5 hours earlier than intended.
"Didn't you see the news? There's a swarm of mosquitoes headed here and I want to get us both to the registration site before we have to deal with the bugs."
"Oh, okay. Just give me a few minutes, I have to water my cactus and get into my suit."
"A cactus? Are you serious? Those things only need a few drops of water every few days you idiot! Hurry up and change already!"
"Oh, I didn't know that. Give me a few seconds to change then."
"Unbelievable."
Tatsumaki couldn't tell if this guy really was this stupid or if he was backing out last minute. She didn't have to decide however as Saitama opened the door seconds later in his suit, confirming in her mind he really was that dumb.
"Okay, let's go"
"Uh, Tatsumaki? Could we grab something to eat first?"
"Did you forget what I said? There's a swarm of mosquitoes headed here that drained the blood out of any living creatures in their path! There are no shops open!"
"Man, I hate mosquitoes."
"Look, we'll have something to eat after your test, let's just hurry up and go."
"But what if I don't perform at my best?"
"THEN TOO BAD!"
*BOOM*
"That wasn't my stomach, I swear."
"... Let's go check it out."
In the middle of the city, a single man stood surrounded by ashes and flames. Only, this wasn't really a man, was it? No, not with those arms. It was a cyborg with blonde hair, golden eyes and mechanical arms that seems to have the ability to shoot flames.
"I am about to eliminate you. Stay where you are."
The cyborg's opponent? It can only be described as a mosquito/female human hybrid.
"You? Eliminate me? *Chuckles* GO AHEAD AND TRY!"
And I'm so sorry, but having to describe the fight is too difficult for a shitty writer like myself. Besides, I was going to be 100% unoriginal and have the exact same thing happen except Saitama doesn't arrive and get his clothes incinerated. Now lets skip forward to the cyborg self destructing
"Forgive me, Doctor"
The mosquito... woman... thing, laughed as she dived in for the killing blow only to feel a slap on the cheek before exploding, leaving blood all over a building. That's... gonna be an annoying cleanup. The cyborg could only gawk at the sight, having been saved by someone, or something, that used a single attack.
"Mosquitoes. Suck. Badum-tsh."
"That was a horrible joke Baldy. Besides, I could've handled it myself."
The cyborg turned his head and saw the source of the voices. There was a female, floating in the air. She looked like she was a child, yet scans showed otherwise. In front of him was a man in a yellow jumpsuit, a white cape and red gloves and boots. His saviour, it would seem. A couple perhaps?
"Hey, you okay? You look pretty beat up."
"It's a robot, Baldy. It'll be fine! We have to get to the registration site now!"
"Oh come on Tatsumaki, the least we could do is bring him somewhere for repairs. Besides, there doesn't seem to be any more mosquitoes."
"Ugh, fine. Hey robot! Do you have anywhere you can be repaired?"
"Doctor Kuseno can repair me in a few minutes."
"Doctor who?"
"Thanks for bringing Genos to me you two."
The cyborg gave Tatsumaki and Saitama an address which Tatsumaki flew the three of them to. It was some kind of laboratory with a single man operating it. This man, was Doctor Kuseno. The second Saitama laid his eyes on the doctor, he had to stiffle a laugh. His hair could only be described as a large mushroom topping his relatively small head. He had a nose that could probably be used to poke someone and he wore a lab coat yet paired it with sandals, giving him quite a ridiculous look.
"Genos? Is that the robot's name?"
"Genos is more of a cyborg. And yes, that is his name."
"Okay, now that he's in safe hands, we should get to the registration site. Come along now Baldy!"
"Shouldn't we stay and help Tatsumaki? I mean, if we arrived earlier this wouldn't have happened."
"YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WANTED SOMETHING TO EAT YOU LIGHTBULB!"
"I didn't think the onigiri would take so long to be made. Besides, the two of us are fast, we can make it."
"Ugh, fine."
And so the two began assisting the Doctor in repairing Genos. Well, Tatsumaki did most of the work. With her powers, she was able to quickly get the Doctor any tools he required. With the machines and the doctor's own hands, Genos was repaired in about 30 minutes.
"NOW can we go?"
"Uh, yea sure."
As Saitama and Tatsumaki headed for the door, they were stopped by a fairly excited Genos.
"Hold on! Please tell me your name."
"It's Tatsuma-"
"Not you, the man who saved me."
"Oh, it's Saitama."
"I wish to be your disciple!"
"Oh, okay."
But before anything else could be said, Genos was flung into a wall, becoming quite a fabulous piece of modern art.
"Don't. Ignore me. You stupid cyborg!"
"Oh come on Tatsumaki, now we have to fix him again!"
"No, we don't. I didn't use that much force."
Genos slowly climbed out of the wall, quite pissed off.
"If it wasn't for the fact you seem to be friends with Teacher, I'd have eliminated you, brat."
And another piece of modern art was created that day.
"HOW DARE YOU! I'M OLDER THAN YOU YOU STUPID CYBORG."
Doctor Kuseno could only chuckle at this scene. It seems Genos will make his first friends sooner than he anticipated.
Tatsumaki entered the registration building, with Genos and Saitama following behind. As she headed to the front desk, many of the other applicants only stared. It seems they have heard of the great "Tornado of Terror". The lady at the counter, upon seeing Tatsumaki, stood up with her hands in the front as a form of respect.
"H-how may I help you Miss Tatsumaki?"
"Get these two tested as quickly as you can. I have other things to do and will not tolerate a wait any longer than an hour!"
Genos had insisted on tagging along with "Saitama Sensei", much to Tatsumaki's dismay. She didn't want to have to carry the metal trash that called her a brat. Thankfully though, he could use those flames of his to, in a way, fly. As they headed to the building, Saitama was telling Genos about how he was going to register and become an officially recognised hero. The cyborg decided that since he wanted to study under Saitama, it would be best to follow him as closely as possible. Since being a hero was considered a job, Genos figured if they both had the same job, they would have more time together and he could learn more about Sensei.
"But Miss Tatsumaki, there are at least 300 people waiting in line, it will take up to 2 hours for their turn."
"Are you stupid? TEST THEM FIRST! I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY!"
The lady, not wanting to piss off the great Tatsumaki, agreed, much to the 300 waiting's frustration. Of course, a few complained about how unfair it was, only to be shut up when the ESPer lifted them into the air, showing she is perfectly willing to crush them if they said another word.
Ack, I don't like doing this but basically the same thing happens during all the tests, with Saitama breaking all the records and equipment the Hero Association has. Skipping forward to the two receiving their results only Tatsumaki is in the room with them.
"YOU GOT INTO S CLASS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
Now Tatsumaki was pissed. That means every time the S classes had a meeting, she'd had to see the face of the idiot that called her a brat.
"S class? Isn't that the same as Tatsumaki?"
"No it isn't Baldy! I'm S class Rank 2, he's only rank 14! I'm still leagues above him!"
"Sensei, what's your rank?"
As Saitama pulled out his result sheet, the three noticed the curve starting to form.
"Oh, this means I'm-"
"Class S. I am not surprised. On top of that, the font is bigger than mine. I expect no less Sensei."
"Wait, what do you mean the font is bigger robot? Oh no... don't tell me..."
Tatsumaki, with her powers, took the result right out of the envelope, revealing that... Saitama was in fact a class... C.
"I see. I mistook the top half of the C as part of a S."
"STOP ANALYZING IT!"
"It... it must be a mistake. Both of you had my recommendation! AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE STRONGER THAN THIS STUPID ROBOT! HOW IS IT YOU'RE A CLASS C?"
As she looked down, she found her answer. 71 points. This stupid baldy managed to get full marks for the physical test, but only got 21 for the written test, meaning he had only just passed and with Tatsumaki's recommendation, he was placed in Class C rank 10.
"You... really are... a stupid Baldy."
"Hey you never told me there would be a written test, I would have studied."
"THERE IS NOTHING TO STUDY YOU STUPID BALDY! *Sigh* You know what, I'll go and talk to the ones in charge and have you take the cyborg's spot."
"It's fine Tatsumaki, rank doesn't matter."
"It does when you want to be recognised you idiot! Class C heroes are the weakest and are only used to deal with petty street crimes! Do you honestly want to waste your time on weekly quotas and helping grannies cross the street?"
"W... weekly quotas? Okay, maybe you should go talk to them. But can't Genos stay in S rank? He's pretty strong too."
"No way! I don't want to have to see his face every damn time we get called for a meeting!"
"Okay, tell you what, Genos, apologise to Tatsumaki."
"But Sensei, this child like-"
*SMASH*
"One more time, robot, and I'll make sure you can't be put back together."
"V-very well. I am sorry Tatsumaki."
"Okay, we good?"
"Fine, I accept. Now, I have some idiots to talk to."
After Tatsumaki "talked" some sense into the idiots in charge of ranking heroes, Saitama was placed into S class but was ranked 15th due to his score, despite Genos himself requesting to be put behind Saitama. The trio then headed out to City C for breakfast. Saitama had wanted to go to his favourite udon place in City Z, but considering Tatsumaki helped him get out of Class C with its weekly quotas, he didn't want to argue, lest she places him there again. Big surprise, they were in another cafe, one that sold pancakes.
"Hey Genos, can I ask you something?"
"Of course, Sensei."
"Are you able to eat? You know, being a cyborg."
"Yes Sensei. You see, Doctor Kuseno wanted me to live as much of a normal life as possible, so he built a system for me so I can turn any food I eat into a sort of fuel for my body. He also built artificial taste receptors that are 99% accurate for me to be able to taste."
"Couldn't you just reply with a simple yes robot?"
"I have told you before, I am a cyborg. And while I suppose I could've, I wouldn't want Sensei to be confused."
"This robot is really starting to get on my nerves."
"Saitama Sensei, can I ask you something as well?"
"Oh, sure Genos."
"What parts do you use?"
"Uhm, I don't use any."
"Then what is that skin coloured armour on your head?"
"That's skin."
"Huh? But that would mean you went bald despite being so young.
"SO I'M BALD! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?"
"Sheesh, is his baldness that sensitive of a problem? Maybe I should come up with bald nicknames."
"You're willing to listen to my problems?"
"No, it's fine."
Cut to Saitama cringing super hard and Tatsumaki finding amusement out of his face yet also getting slightly annoyed and Genos' stupidly long backstory.
"ENOUGH YOU IDIOT! SHORTE-"
"Not so loudly egghead! We're in public."
"Oh, sorry. Genos for my sanity's sake, shorten it to 20 words or less"
"My apologies Sensei. In short, I wish to learn how to be as powerful as you to avenge my town."
"Do you always have such long explanations?"
"If Saitama Sensei and Tatsumaki wishes, I could recalibrate my systems to automatically shorten them in the future."
"Please do, Genos." + "You should have done that earlier, cyborg!"
And that's chapter 3! Sorry about the wait, I had an epic brainfart trying to figure out how to rewrite the story so things fit and even then I couldn't do it without messing up a few things. I know Tats and Saitama should have been at the Genos/mosquito girl fight since they were stupid fast but if that happened, Genos wouldn't have seen the full strength of mosquito girl and how easily Saitama dismissed him. It would have been far messier then. Anyway, I'm glad I managed to write something that you readers were able to enjoy, lord knows how hard that is. Hopefully chapter 4 isn't too hard to write.
One more thing, if you've noticed the severe lack of Marugori smashing Fukegao, I've decided fuck it and had him destroyed by Tatsumaki when she went monster hunting to keep the growing realisation she may have just made a friend out of her mind because dear god I am not going to even attempt to incorporate that into the story. It would create a mess larger than the damage caused by canon Saitama vs brothers in terms of story. Anyway, thanks for reading!
I'm sorry, one last thing, do let me know what you think of me using bold, italic and ** in this chapter. I'm going to try and improve the flow by using more of these.
How does one respond to simple reviews like this without sounding extremely awkward or extremely cringe? I guess something like
Thank you for the kind words Crazypizzaguy, Lightningblade49 and Nicolas47, I'm glad you enjoyed.
