So FF has not allowed me to upload a new chapter for the past five days, shocking right?
Anyways, finally, today I could upload this chapter. Long overdue.
This was a really difficult chapter to write because, I, like Tony, was unsure how to tell Pepper that he loves her. It is also long.. but I think our heroes deserve it.. after all they have struggled for long as well.
And... Tony is surprisingly good at Parkour! Who knew?
Title inspired by Becca Stevens & Jacob Collier's touching cover performance of " Each Coming Night"
I want to see you. Know your voice. Recognize you when you first come 'round the corner. Sense your scent when I come into a room you've just left. Know the lift of your heel, the glide of your foot. Become familiar with the way you purse your lips then let them part, just the slightest bit, when I lean in to your space and kiss you. I want to know the joy of how you whisper 'more. – Rumi (his words are better suited for this chapter)
It was the midnight hour. Tony stood on his balcony and looked at the sky. The moon was high up above but was playing hide-and-seek by hiding behind some clouds. There was enough light for him to see the vertical hydrangea trellis next, to his balcony and be able to climb up.
He grinned, pleased at his inventiveness. No need to deal with that dragon chambermaid or to get Pepper out of her room, where someone might disturb us. This time, no interruptions. I know she has her own room. So, he took a deep breath here, steeling himself, tonight I am going to declare my love to Pepper.
Tony swung his leg over the balcony's railing and reached out to grab the thick vines of the climbing plant. Because he was a little scared that the plant would not be able to handle his weight, he had tied a rope around his chest and its other end to his balcony's railing. It was long enough for him to reach Pepper's balcony and yet support him if he fell.
Thank you, Hereald for having such a thick, long coil of rope in your erstwhile collection of junk.
He climbed up the shrubbery easily, to be in line with Pepper's balcony. Its doors were closed. He reached out to grab the balcony railing and pulled himself sideways. He hoisted one foot over the railing and then the other. Once he was standing on the balcony, Tony tried to peer into the room. The drapes are pulled... I hope she is not sleeping.
He looked down at his hands and then grimaced. You have come to meet your lady love empty-handed, you dolt!
Then he looked at the shrub he had just climbed. How convenient, the plant is in bloom!
He plucked a thick cluster of white, tiny flowers. Now all I need, is Pepper.
Tony lightly tapped on the door. It opened abruptly. And the fragrant aroma of lilies hit his senses, making him take a deep breath. Then he gulped hard at the alluring vision standing in front of him.
Silhouetted in darkness and vapory moonlight, was Pepper, wearing a knee-length, sea blue shift. Her hair was open and left around her shoulders simply. He couldn't help but look at her beautiful body, curvy yet slender, showcased beautifully by the clinging material of the shift. Her long porcelain legs and pink feet were charmingly bare.
Pepper, can you hear my flame roaring at the sight of you... You truly are a goddess. I want nothing more than to prostrate at your feet and worship you with my mouth.
She looked bewitching but Tony quickly came to his senses because said vision was looking at him nervously, her blue eyes made even bluer by her shift.
Flowers, Tony, give her the flowers!
He thrust the flowers at her and she took them slowly, clutching them tightly to her. Pepper looked at him quietly and he did not know what to say.
Say something!
Before he could, she said "Tony, how did you get here? I was expecting you at the door..."
Her words died on her lips as she noticed the rope around his waist.
Tony tensed as she firmed her lips. At least if she throws me off the balcony, I won't fall to the ground.
Then Pepper started laughing, her eyes twinkling merrily at him. "Lord Stark, please do not tell me, you actually climbed up here just to talk to me!"
Tony opened his mouth but she was still laughing at him, trying to stifle her laughter with her free hand.
"An entire floor upwards! Oh my, Tony, you never cease to amaze me."
She finally finished chortling, blue eyes full of laughter and he relaxed.
Pepper smiled that mysterious half-smile of hers and gestured at her room. "Well, my Lord, would you like to talk inside or outside?"
He finally found his voice. "Here, Pepper, on the balcony, please."
She stepped to the front of the balcony and he turned and took one step, trying to keep a decent distance.
Pepper turned towards him and tilted her head to one side. She said softly, "You wanted to talk about ... about us?"
Tony swallowed hard. He took her hand in his and grasped it firmly. Pepper was staring at him with wide eyes.
"Pepper, I want to... I want to apologize."
"What for? What did you do?"
"For that night in Carinthia." She shook her head at him, turning to look out over the Palace gardens.
"Tony..."
"Pepper, please hear me out. I know I hurt you that day."
His heart clenched painfully when she murmured, "Yes, you did, Tony."
"I hurt you that day and I am sorry. I was... I was a bastard, I deliberately set out to hurt you."
Pepper was looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face.
He continued, "I said some unforgivable things. I lied through my teeth. I ..." he stopped, unsure how to say what he really wanted to say.
Pepper said softly, "Tony, it is alright. It does not matter. We are... friends and friends fight sometimes. I have let it go."
"No," he said and his grip on her hand tightened.
"No?"
"Pepper, I have been a fool because I have... I have been in love with you since the day I saw you dancing at the Spring fair. And when you said, you had feelings for me... I turned you away... that is something I will regret doing till the end of my days."
Tony kept quiet for a moment, watching a myriad of emotions pass through Pepper's eyes.
She said very quietly, "Why did you turn me away, Tony? Why didn't you... why?"
He sighed deeply. "I was scared. Everything I have ever loved, has been taken away from me. I let fear rule me and I pushed you away, because I did not want to experience love, because I feared the pain of losing you. I ran away from your love. It is a stupid excuse, I know and I am an idiotic, foolish ass for letting you go away."
He fell to his knees then, determined to plead his case. Pepper gasped. "Tony, what are you..."
"Pepper," he said determinedly, "I cannot go back and undo what I have done. No matter how much I want to. But... I can correct my mistake. I am madly, deeply, completely in love with you, Pepper. You have become dearer to me, than life itself. All those months ago, when I pulled you out of the Lake...I thought I was your savior but I know now that you saved me... saved me from a life filled with shadows, thanks to your joy, your presence, your self."
Pepper was staring at him, face pale and lips parted. Her blue eyes had darkened immensely, the color of the ocean on a dark night.
"The Flame is a blessing but...you... you are the truest blessing I have received or will ever receive and for that, I will thank whatever Gods exist above till the end of my days."
He held her still hand to his lips and kissed each soft finger reverently. "Pepper, say something, please..."
She whispered, "How... but why now, Tony? Why are you admitting it to me now?"
He said, "I must confess. When you left Stark Keep, I missed you horribly. My home was empty without you. I missed our friendship, our camaraderie, the way we would train together..."
She sighed sadly at that.
"I pined for you but I was determined to avoid you..." he swallowe as she looked down at him, eyes soft "I was determined not to be around you."
"So when I learnt of this quest and that I had to involve you, I was conflicted because it pained me to be around you and have that distance, that tension between us. But in my heart, I knew I could not trust such tasks with anyone else. You are one of the best partners I've ever had, Pep."
The sight of Pepper blushing charmingly, made him grin.
"It is true, you are a natural with the sword, you do not have physical bulk but you move with graceful force, like a hawk in the sky against the wind. Watching you fight is like poetry in motion but my heart is in my mouth throughout, not because I doubt your ability but I am afraid your opponent will wound you and I cannot bear to see you hurt."
She still held onto the flowers on the railing but removed her hand from his, only to place it on his head, stroking his hair tenderly. He closed his eyes at the soft sensation, loving the way her delicate fingers moved through his hair and lightly grazed his scalp.
"Tony..." she said softly.
He opened his eyes and looked into her beautiful blue eyes, large and shimmering.
"Pepper, you have pulled me from the jaws of death so many times. You have taught me so many things, how to be forgiving, how to be careful, how to appreciate the little things. You have comforted me like no one else has ever done before."
He shook his head like a dog, trying to get himself back on topic. She giggled then, but kept her hand on his head.
"I deviated from what I wanted to say...sorry...I finally realized I couldn't pretend to myself any longer. I realized my mistake. And I was so ashamed."
"But I didn't want to fluster you in the middle of the quest. There were too many things and..."
She nodded gently.
"But I regretted my decision to wait when I saw what the priests were doing to you." He gritted his jaw. "That night in the Temple when they carried you away, bound in a white cloth."
She gasped and stared at him in shock. "Tony, You were there? I thought you left when I went back into the Temple."
He gulped hard. "I stayed at the temple. I saw them…I wanted to stop them but the Dragon...I mean he reasoned with me, that I needed to focus on the quest. But Pepper, I'm sorry."
"Hush Tony… I went there willingly." She huffed at him and patted his head like he was a dog. "What could you do?"
He continued, jaw tensing.
"The first time they introduced you, I wanted to hold you in my arms and tear the ballroom apart. Then I realized they were drugging you. Fuck Pepper…" He felt his flame rage through him at the memory. "That damn ceremony where you were drugged out of your mind. I was so helpless, I couldn't save you."
She was just staring at him. Eyes wide and worried.
His voice lowered to a whisper. "Then the Beast took you into the stars..."
Her hand tensed on his head.
He lowered his head, too many emotions at the memory coursing through him. He whispered desperately, "All my care, all my strength... What was the use? You were gone. I thought I'd never see you again. You were lost to me forever. I couldn't do anything…I just couldn't..."
She let go of the flowers and pulled him to his feet slowly. Then he gasped as she hugged him tightly, resting her chin on his shoulder. Tony hugged her back with pleasure, nuzzling her soft fragrant hair. He felt her body pressed to him tightly and he relished the sensation, the warmth, the comfort.
So this is what is it like to have a woman's comfort. . No wonder the poets write sonnets about it ...
She whispered in his ear. "Tony, did you kill all those priests in the lair?"
He felt himself tense. "Yes... I... I lost my mind after you ... I was so angry and filled with rage… and I wanted…Pepper, I tell you truthfully, I wanted to die."
She gasped at that, tightening her grip on him. She raised one hand to stroke his hair and whispered softly, "Tony, please do not say that."
"I did want to die. I had told the Dragon when I realized that I love you, I told him that if you died... my life was forfeit as well. So I did not care. I went on a killing spree and I… "
He signed deeply. "I just did not care if I lived or died anymore."
She pulled back in his arms and her eyes searched his face.
She is disgusted by my lack of control, by my violence. I do not blame her.
Tony was shocked then as Pepper told him gently, "Tony, why didn't you care for yourself then.. did you take a lot at your wounds after you woke up? The amount of gashes and cuts on your body. The bruises and burns. And that sarding priest drugged you as well."
She tsked at him sternly and he had to add, "Pepper, it was just a prick of the needle."
She pinched his arm tightly then and he yelped. "Sure, it was just a little scratch but then you decided to go and fight a filthy vampire with the drug flowing through your veins. And..." she pinched him again .. "without your armor."
Pepper shook her head with exasperation at the cutely boyish expression on Tony's face.
"Tony ... you should have a care for yourself sometimes. I came back, didn't I?"
He turned serious then. "What if you did not come back? What then?"
She tried to stop his words by placing her hand on his soft lips. Pepper meant to just place her hand on them but once she touched him, she instead caressed his petal soft warm lips with her fingers.
"I came back, Tony. And if I had come back and you were dead, then?" She whispered to him, the thought of her Tony, her Knight dead, making her heart clench painfully.
The memory of the wedding nightmare came back to her. Tony's dead body, the hole in his chest and the maggots writhing in it.
She shivered uncontrollably and Tony took one look at her and quickly stepped out of her embrace. He neatly shrugged off his jacket and helped her put it on, closing it tightly around her.
"Pepper, is that better, do you feel the cold still?"
Pepper smiled at him, snuggling into his warm jacket, touched by his gallantry. She did not know what to do next. She wanted to tell him that she loved him but she was feeling so bashful about doing it, even though he had poured his heart out to her. More importantly, some part of her wanted to protect her heart. There were still doubts in her mind.
"Tony... you do know that… I care about you too. I mean," she swallowed "I care about you a lot. But this is..." she broke off, unsure how to continue.
He added, "A lot to take in?"
"Yes and not only that. I... I have plans ... I want to continue with my Inn in Boron... my partnership with Beatrice."
Am I explaining things badly here?
Tony looked confused and Pepper drolly told him, "You know her as The Blonde from Boron."
"Ah..." he said, then he looked at her sadly. "So… you do not want to be with me because you value your independence..."
Pepper shook her head with horror. "That is not what I meant at all." she exclaimed. "I am just saying, I want to keep doing what I'm doing... I want to retain some independence while being with you."
She straightened and looked at him warily.
Here's where Tony tells me that he is the man and I am the woman and that I should come live with him and these little pet projects are not important...
But Tony just looked at her thoughtfully and she was starting to get a little nervous.
"So…" he murmured softly, "you expect me to object to your independence...to your business ventures… to your independent streak…"
She held her breath.
"Pepper…" he said softly. "Pep... sweetheart… I am not such a cruel man to let a bird free, only to catch it and break its wings for flying. Don't you see? I love your independent streak. I terribly admire your passion, your determination and your planning. You are not a shrinking violet or some weak hothouse flower..."
He cupped her cheek in his hand and rubbed his thumb over it gently. She tried to control her breathing and leaned into his hand.
He whispered to her, "My love, you are a magnolia with a backbone of steel, so fine, so delicate, so graceful but… you roar with determination and spirit. There is nothing that can stand in your way."
He stepped closer to her and brushed his lips over her forehead slowly. "I will not be the man who chains you to him, to appease silly antiquated ideas of propriety… I want to be the lucky man, who gets to watch you soar."
She sighed, his words soothing her fears away. Some of them at least. She stepped back and looked into his melting brown eyes.
"Tony, help me out here, I do not know what to do, how to behave. This is the first time any man has ... I mean…I have not met a lot of men, especially men like you…"
"Charming, attractive fallen knights who like taking you on wild adventures."
She swatted him them and he laughed.
"Tony!"
"Sorry, Pep, sorry, please continue, you have not met a lot of men."
Pepper looked at him desperately then. "Tony, I do not know how to respond to your love… this is first time anyone has ever said to me, what you have said…This is a lot for me and I do not know how…I am afraid I am handling it badly… I am sorry, I am feeling very overwhelmed.." she ended on a whisper, feeling ashamed of her ignorance and her naiveté.
Tony huffed and caught her by the shoulders. For once, Tony is looking at me with exasperation instead of the other way around.
He said gently, his thumbs drawing circles on her arms, "Hey Pepper, why are you saying sorry? Sweetheart, this is too much to take in. Help me understand… you doubt my love for you?"
Her heart was in her mouth. "Not your love. I mean, you are a Lord, a knight of the realm, you have loved countless women, courtly, worldly, beautiful… How can I compete with that?"
Tony pushed her hair back from her brow. "There is a big difference between love and lust, Pepper and I have never been in love. Yes, I have lusted over many women and I have had sex with them but…" He cupped her cheek again. "I have never loved them. I have never felt this way with anyone before."
"What if you… if you stopped loving me one day?"
He smiled at her and smoothed her cheek comfortingly. "Pepper, I know I have a reputation…But trust me when I say… you are the only woman I have wanted for a long time and I will love you till the day I die. Tell me this, have you seen me with a woman ever since you came to Stark Keep?"
She shook her head, knowing that Tony had not had any of his special "female visitors" for quite some time.
"Do you know why? Ever since you came into my life, all other women have paled in comparison. Even if I look at another woman, I see your face, your eyes, you… Pepper, are you attracted to me physically?"
She immediately answered, "Yes, yes, very… your every touch and caress, drives me wild, Tony."
Then she blushed deeply at the way his eyes darkened sensually, staring into hers.
"Pepper, this is your first time dealing with a relationship like this… So I have an idea if you are open to it."
She looked at him with interest.
Tony took a deep breath. "Let me court you, sweet Virginia. Let me woo you, romance you, let me prove to you that I am worthy of you."
Pepper gasped. As a child, she had listened curiously to tales of courtship shared between the ladies of the Court in Cumbria. She had heard tales of courtship from the Village ladies.
"I never thought… I never thought I would get to experience something like courtship… someone like me…" she whispered, entranced by the idea.
Tony grinned at her and then bowed deeply over her hand. He looked up at her, from underneath his lashes, sensually somber. Pepper's heart started to thump with anticipation for what he was going to say. His beard tickled the sensitive skin of her back of her hand.
"Virginia Potts, I, Anthony Stark..."
Pepper corrected him, "Lord Stark."
He shook his head firmly. "Pepper, that is simply a title, a word… It does not mean anything… especially between me and you…" He punctuated his last words by nipping the soft flesh at the back of her hand and she giggled.
"Now, I, Anthony Stark, stand before you, asking for your permission to court you officially, until such a time that you tell me that my attentions are unwanted and undesired."
His eyes turned bleak. "At such a time, I promise to leave you alone and never darken your door again."
She swallowed at his words and nodded.
He continued, "I will be the perfect gentleman, try to fulfill your every desire and show you through my actions and through my words, just how much you mean to me. Virginia, are you agreeable to my offer of courtship?"
Pepper said softly, "Yes, Tony, yes."
He straightened and she waited expectantly. Now we will kiss.
But to her abject disappointment, Tony casually tested the rope around his waist, then he looked at her inquiringly.
She cleared her throat.
He looked at her with mild confusion.
"Tony, don't you think… since this is courtship and I have heard… that during courtship…"
He completed her sentence. "Couples kiss, so we should kiss?"
"Yes!" she exclaimed, relieved he had taken the hint.
He came close, so close, she could feel his breath on her face.
He looked into her eyes, searching hers and then down at her lips.
She sighed and moved closer to him, placing her hands on his shoulders.
Pepper lowered her eyes, holding her breath as Tony lowered his eyes and moved his face, his lips towards her own.
Yes… yes… finally…
Then he softly kissed the corner of her mouth, where her lips joined and moved away.
She opened her eyes, breathing harshly, shocked at his chaste kiss.
"Tony…" she breathed out.
The moon had come out from behind the clouds and now illuminated the balcony completely, bathing them in bright, white light.
"Tony…" she implored as Tony turned and raised his leg over the railing. He nimbly did so with the other leg, such that he was now standing on the narrow ledge of the balcony.
He stood before her, devilishly handsome with his ruffled hair, looking dangerously piratical with his plain white shirt with tight breeches and his dagger strapped to one lean leg. She looked into his mirthful whiskey eyes and smiling face.
Then he stopped smiling and asked seriously, "What is it, Pepper?"
She came close to him and whispered to him, "I thought… I thought we could have a proper kiss because… it has been so long…"
She could not complete her sentence because Tony pulled her to him quickly and finally kissed her fully on the lips. She gasped against his firm, soft lips as they moved strongly over hers, claiming her. Then he nibbled her bottom lip firmly, drawing a moan from her at the sensation.
Finally, Finally… Finally, Tony…
He seemed to be saying the same thing.
Tony cradled her face in one hand and used it to angle her better for his lips. She moaned again as he slid his tongue against hers, mating with hers in an age-old dance. Her chest felt as if it was on fire and her heart was beating hard in her ears.
The railing separated them from completely pressing against each other. But this did not matter to Pepper because she raised her hands to catch Tony's collar and pull him closer to her. He groaned then as she realized her breasts were pressed hard against the arc. She could feel its heat warming her. She pulled him even tighter to her and he responded by making sweet, hard love to her soft mouth.
Tony broke off the kiss because they were both out of breath. He bent his head slightly and rested his forehead against hers. They both took deep breaths to fill their lungs with air. He tenderly kissed her nose and each cheek, murmuring sweet words to her face. She still had her hands on his collar and stayed still, enjoying the feel of his beard on her face.
Mine, mine, all mine… her heart was singing to her. She tried to tell it to calm down.
Drowning in a sea of physical sensation, Pepper did not realize that Tony had moved his mouth until he gently nipped her earlobe between his teeth. She cried out and he moved his lips over her ear, whispering darkly to her, "Pepper, I want to ravish your beautiful mouth but… but I am going to try to be a gentleman here… Should I stay or should I go?"
She didn't even think for a second. Pepper immediately cried out, "Stay, Tony, stay…"
Somehow he quickly hopped over the railing, now back on the balcony. Tony leaned his back against it and pulled Pepper onto him, such that she was leaning on him, flush against his hard, strong body from head to toe. Of their own volition, Pepper's hands found their way to Tony's soft, wavy hair, ruffling it with passion. He rested his hands on the small of her back.
He changed his tempo and apparently decided to go slow because he softly kissed the corner of her mouth and then leisurely swept his tongue along her bottom lip. When she moaned and parted her lips, he once again nibbled on her bottom lip between his teeth.
Pepper moaned deeply and said on a gasp, "Tony… Tony, I want to…"
He let go of her lip to breathe and said harshly against her cheek, "Do onto me as you wish, my lady. I am yours."
She smiled wickedly then and pulled his head back gently, using her fingers in his thick hair. Pepper gently kissed Tony on his jaw and his beard, rubbing her face against it. He stood absolutely still, a slight tremble moving through him as she kissed his ear and bit its tip.
She moved her hands to his beard and stroked it and touched his lips with her fingers, exploring his face. Then she kissed him once again and pressed herself even more firmly against him, feeling his hard, broad chest harden against her soft flesh. Tony groaned then.
Pepper smiled against his cheek and he raggedly whispered, "Touche madam, I think you have ravished me as well."
They separated then, Pepper very shy, Tony grinning at her. She tried to smooth down his hair and he let her, eyes dark whiskey brown. He gently rubbed his knuckle against her bottom lip and she leaned into his touch, touching her tongue to his finger.
"Pepper, regretfully, I have to go now. It is late, you should sleep." Tony murmured solicitously.
She nodded, too full of emotion to speak and made to take off his jacket but he stopped her.
"Keep it, my lady, give it back to me whenever. Besides..." He grinned at her, "You already have my heart, what is a jacket?"
She blushed and he laughed, climbing back over the railing. He was about to climb onto the vine when he caught Pepper's hand and kissed it reverently.
She smiled as he looked at her, eyes dark with passion, and said softly, "Sleep tight, a thousand times. Good night, milady."
"Good night, Tony."
She watched him quietly climb down and then she walked to her bed and lay down in a daze. As she snuggled deeper into the mattress, she took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Tony from the jacket she was wearing. Pepper drifted into sweet slumber, thinking of her moonlit night in the arms of the Iron Knight.
