Belt
"That's it! The woman's crazy!" Freddie announced angrily, storming into the Shay's apartment.
"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we locked that door," Spencer that thoughtfully.
"What happened?" Carly sighed, looking up from the homework she had been working on in the kitchen with Gibby.
"My mom has lost it!" Freddie exclaimed.
"Well to be fair, she never really had it, did she?" Gibby pointed out.
"Says the guy who I just had to yell at for trying to make his own moisturizer out of peanut butter," Carly smirked. She turned back to Freddie. "What's going on with your mom?"
"She's just on my case," Freddie sighed. "She claims that ever since I started dating Sam, I've gotten a 'delinquent attitude'."
"Have you?" Spencer asked.
"No!" Freddie replied. "But she thinks every time I don't want to go along with her to one of her Aggressive Parenting meetings or object to a tick bath I'm sassing her. So today, when I told her that I didn't need to wear some industrial strength belt she got on sale from some catalogue, she starting going on and on about how her sweet little boy has been tainted by Sam."
"What color was the belt?" Gibby asked.
"What?" Freddie frowned.
"Well I'm just saying maybe you should've rethought wearing that one, because the one your wearing now is a little bit of an eyesore, dude," Gibby said.
"Okay, so your mom overreacted about you not wearing some belt," Carly said before Freddie could reply. "Big deal. You should be used to that by now. I mean, we're talking about the woman who wouldn't let you go on the sixth grade trip to the water park because she couldn't find you a swimsuit that 'properly covered your ankles'."
"I know," Freddie said. "But, well, this time my mom overreacted a little more than usual."
"What do you mean?" Spencer questioned.
"You see," Freddie said heavily. "Since my mom's now so convinced that Sam's made me into some sort of rebel, she-she-she's making me take dance lessons!"
Carly, Spencer and Gibby all burst out laughing.
"It's not funny!" Freddie snapped.
"Yeah…it's a little funny," Carly grinned.
"Wait, why dance lessons?" Spencer asked.
"I don't know," Freddie said miserably. "I guess because she thinks it will teach discipline or something. I just wish I could get out of it, but she says I have to finish the course she signed me up for at the community center or she's going to take back my nature channel privileges."
"Wow, you really have an interesting life," Carly said.
"So what are you going to do?" Gibby asked.
"I dunno," Freddie shrugged. "I guess I'm going to have to do the dance lessons. I'm too far into Elephant Diaries to risk no seeing the finale."
"Hey, maybe it won't be so bad," Spencer said encouragingly. "You'll get some exercise…and you'll have an excuse to wear tights."
"Thanks," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "Look, guys, can you just promise me you won't tell Sam about this?"
"Why not?" Carly asked. "She's your girlfriend."
"Yes, but she's still Sam," Freddie pointed out. "And she's never going to let me live this down."
"Fine," Carly conceded. "But I don't feel right about lying to my best friend."
"It's not a lie," Freddie said. "Just don't say anything and-"
"Hey, hey," Sam said, coming into the apartment.
"Um, hey," Freddie said quickly. "What-What are you doing here?"
"Don't we have iCarly rehearsal today?" Sam frowned.
"Oh, right," Freddie nodding, giving a nervous laugh.
"You okay?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I'm great!" Freddie said with a bit too much enthusiasm. "Peachy!"
"You're being weird," Sam said.
"Eh, it's just because his mom is making him take dance lessons," Gibby said.
"Gibby!" Freddie cried. "I told you not to say anything!"
"Oh was that starting now?" Gibby frowned. "Sorry, my bad."
"You're taking dance lessons?" Sam said, looking as though Christmas had come early.
"Fine, yes," Freddie conceded. "My mom's making me."
"Oh my God…this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me," Sam said, beaming.
"Sam, please don't harass your boyfriend," Carly sighed.
"Come on, this is gold!" Sam said. "So are you going to wear a leotard, Fredward? Are you going to dance to Swan Lake? Oh! Are you going to wear a pretty bow in your hair?"
"You know some girlfriends would be supportive about this!" Freddie said bitterly.
"Yeah, some would," Sam said, giving him a quick kiss. "So seriously, when do I get to see you dance?"
"Never," Freddie said firmly. "I may have to take these stupid dance lessons, but that doesn't mean anybody has to see me dance."
"Oh come on," Sam said. "Don't be a baby. You really think it'll be so bad if I see you dance?"
"Absolutely!"
"What if I promise to only laugh a little?"
"No!"
"Ugh, you're so frustrating!"
"Welcome to my life!"
"Maybe it is time to start locking that door," Carly whispered to Spencer as they watched the couple continue to fight.
…..
"Unbelievable!" Freddie's dance teacher at the community center yelled angrily a few days later as Freddie fell once again onto the gymnasium floor. "I have been in the dance instructing business for thirty years and I have never met someone as uncoordinated as you!"
"Well maybe if I could try dancing somewhere without such slippery floors-" Freddie began, wincing as he got back onto his feet.
"No, no, don't you dare blame the floors for your inadequacies!" the dance teacher snapped. "Oh, I knew I should've never left Broadway to come back to this nothing town, but mother just had to get sick and drag me back here to take care of her!"
And with that the teacher turned on his heel and stormed out of the gymnasium, still fuming under his breath.
Freddie sighed. He knew he wouldn't be any good at dancing. He hoped his mom was pleased about the amount of humiliation she was currently heaping on her son.
"Wow," a voice suddenly said behind him. "That was…something."
Freddie spun around and saw Sam standing at the gymnasium entrance, a smug expression on her face.
"What-What are you doing here?" Freddie frowned. "How'd you figure out this is where my dance lessons were?"
"It really wasn't all too hard, baby," Sam said, walking towards him. "You know Mama has her ways."
"So what, you're here to make fun of me?" Freddie sighed. "I know I have no dancing skills."
Sam gave him a small smile and held out her hands for him. "Here."
"What are you doing?" Freddie asked curiously, taking his girlfriend's hands.
"Helping your clumsy butt learn how to dance," Sam replied. "Don't look at your feet when you move, for starters."
"But then I'll just trip over them," Freddie said.
"No you wont, trust me," Sam said. "Just relax."
"But what if-" Freddie began, but Sam cut him off with a short kiss.
"Come on," she said. "Just try it."
"I-Okay," Freddie conceded, unable to argue with her after that.
Freddie slowly began moving his feet, willing himself not to look down. Instead he simply focused on Sam.
"Hey!" he said after a few moments. "I'm not tripping! I'm actually doing pretty good!"
"Well let's not get carried away," Sam said. "But yeah…you don't look like a bear doing the hula anymore, so that's something. Oh, and don't hold your arms like that, it's throwing off your balance. And don't slouch!"
"Man, you know a lot about dance," Freddie commented.
"Hey, I did use to dance you know," Sam reminded him. "It was the only part of pageants I liked."
"You know, I never asked," Freddie said. "Why'd you stop?"
"I dunno," Sam shrugged. "I guess-I guess I just figured I couldn't be tough and a pretty little dancer…I was worried about my rep."
"You ever miss it?" Freddie asked.
"Sometimes I guess," Sam shrugged. "But you're never allowed to repeat that, got it?"
"I won't," Freddie chuckled. "But if you miss it…maybe you should start it up again."
"Nah, it's too late for that," Sam said.
"No it's not," Freddie said, extending his hand to her. "Sam Puckett…will you have this dance with me?"
Sam face broke out into a wide grin. "You sound like some dude straight out of a chick flick right now." But she took his hand anyway.
"I'll apologize now for all the times I'll be stepping on your feet," Freddie said as the couple began to move.
"I'll live," Sam smiled.
