Hey guys, I revived my fics. I hope people can find them again :/. Also, been really busy with school, and it's only going to get busier because of finals and job interviews. The life of a young adult :P. Anyway, here is chapter 7. My mommy liked it, but you guys aren't my mommy so... uh well, we'll see how this goes lol.
*Warning lots of profanity, sorry, but it was necessary. Also, I jump back and forth saying dad when I'm referring to the stepdad. Rachel has two dads, her biological dad that is incarcerated, and then the I should clarify although you are all intelligent people who probably figured this out to begin with, but whatever.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.
CHP 7: HELP
"What do you expect me to do about it? I can't help you."
"Rache, I don- I just-," Gar chewed at the tips of his fingers. "Dude can't you hide me in your room or something for a week? I just need sometime to get a place and a roommate."
"Hide you, Gar are you high? Oh that's right I forget you're a tweaker- I barely know you! Not only that my foster dad would put us both in the street. He hardly likes me as it so I'm pretty sure he hates you."
"Just think about it okay-"
"No."
"Think about it."
"I SAID NO."
The line went dead on my end and I figured that was it. I suppose I felt bad for him, but he really did bring it on himself. I didn't understand why he wouldn't just stay with his parents, that made more sense,but then again logic wasn't something he did.
I yawned curling into a ball and shutting my eyes. All the sleep I'd missed the other night was calling my name, but sleep was the last thing I'd be getting. I noticed faint taps at my window and I was unsurprised to see a skinny guy with a green mohawk standing outside.
Scowling, I pulled open the window.
"Are you stalking me because I can and will get a restraining order."
"You're being unreasonable!" Gar whined.
How was I going to get rid of him before my foster dad noticed?
"I'm coming up."
"What? NO."
With frusteration, and mild amusement, I watched as Gar used the brick wall outside my window as a ledge to reach up to a small rusty pipe hanging just a foot below my bedroom window. For a person of average height this might have been a challenge to reach, but Gar easily grabbed hold of it, swinging agily like an acrobate or a chimp.
Deep creases formed in his evenly tanned forehead and he flashed me a nervous grin while dangling 16ft from the ground.
"You are such an idiot." I grumbled, reaching out a hand to pull him in. His weight nearly pulled me out of the window, but I held tight, tugging his arms, until both of us tumbled across the bedroom floor.
"I just want you to know that I hate you."
He didn't speak, instead, he grabbed me around the waist squeezing until I felt all the air forced out of my lungs.
"Thanks dude."
"Get off me and stop talking so loud." I thumbed through my hair for the third time, frowning at Gar as he took off his shoes.
"I need to move my car and get my stuff out of my trunk."
"I'll do it, just give me the keys."
"Your not driving my car." He pouted.
"Your not sleeping in my closet." I said folding my arms.
He reluctantly tossed me the keys before collapsing on my bed and snuggling into the covers.
"Don't get too comfortable. I'll be back in a second just don't make any noise."
Tiptoeing out in the hallway, I held my breath, glancing at my dad's study where the door was just slightly cracked. He was in there watching the game and having a few beers so I knew that little would distract him, a good thing.
"RACHEL!"
I stopped in midstride, halfway down the first step.
"Yeah?" I threw my head back in irritation as I went to meet him in his study. The game had gone to commercial and he was gulping his beer with his back to me.
"What do you have planned for tommorrow? Have you applied for any more schools or a job at least?"
"Yeah..." I trailed off, glancing at the floor. " I have a group session and then," I thought of Dick, "and... an interview with an advisor at this school I applied to after that."
"Which school?"
"I uh... I can't remember the name I'll tell you about it later, the information is online."
"Fine." He said as the game came back on.
I backed out into the hallway and quickly down the stairs and out the door. When I noticed where Gar's car was parked I realized just how dumb he really was.
"Oh come on." I growled, struggling to dislodge the car from its horribly parrallel parked parking space. When I'd finally managed to park it, in the back alley of my house, I popped the trunk and grabbed as much as I could carry. Thankfully he didn't have much, just a laptop and some clothes. He was really messy though, boxers, and Oldspice was littered everwhere.
I really hope these are clean I said using a wire hanger to grab a pair of boxers. Carefully, I hoisted a trash bag of clothes over my shoulder and nestled the laptop under my other arm as I trudged back into the house and up the stairs.
"You owe me for this." I said, tossing the clothes in my closet and shutting my door. "Oh I figured as much.." I snarrled realizing he was asleep.
"What is the point of this John?"
"Change. Change is what helps us grow, it helps us understand ourselves and what we want out of life."
"I know that I don't want to be here." Dick grummbled.
"What was that Mr. Grayson?"
"I said this is rediculous. How is a perfect stranger going to make life changing suggestions for someone they hardly know?"
John siddled up to Dick, looking him dead in the eyes. "What do you like about your life Mr. Grayson?"
Immediately everyone's attention was drawn to him. He folded his arms across his chest and cocked his head back. "I don't know."
"You know what I see when I look at you. Someone who needs love. You need someone to care about you. That's what your missing. You're angry."
"That's stupid," Dick scoffed. I'm not angry.
"Why do you have many pointless relationships then?"
"They aren't pointless."
"Then you care about the women you engage in casual sex with?"
"Does it matter."
"Just answer."
"I don't think I should have to."
Dick sat back down in his seat, eyes narrowed into thin slits.
"Like Mr. Grayson we all have our inner demons. We could all benefit from the advice of a friend. You've all been spending time getting to know your new friend. I want you each to make a list of goals you set for your friend and then present them to the rest of the group."
A chorus of groans proceeded as if we were in highschool. Gar stared at me, but I looked away. It was bad enough that he was now living at my house. I didn't really care to talk about our "growing friendship" because frankly I was growing sick of his prescence.
I thought back to last night how I fought to kick him out of my bed and roll him into the closet, or how he had woken up begging me to get him a glass of water. Then there was the frequent moans and the whipering. And this was only one night. I was supposed to take an entire week of this? I hated myself for being so genorous.
"How are things going?" John passed by me and Gar hovering over our shoulders.
"Fine." I grumbled.
"Good, good, and how about you Gar?"
"Awesome dude, got plently of suggestions for Rache." He grinned, smacking me on the back so hard I nearly choked.
Snarrling I got up. "I'll be back..."
I plodded out to the lobby area for a drink of bottle water, tapping my foot impatiently as my Dasani took a moment to despense, I noticed Dick's spikey jet black hair behind me.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Just getting a drink."
"Yeah me too." He said, staring straight forward as he put his money in the machine. I felt his groin lightly brush against my butt and I shut my eyes, wanting to plant my lips on his. The feeling quickly passed though as he moved away, back toward the counseling room.
"Are we?"
"Not today, I have to take care of something."
"Fine." I said, dragging my feet several steps behind him. Not like I cared. The door to the rehab room swung shut as he let himself back in. I caught it, walking in just in time to to see Gar standing on a chair at the front of the room.
"My suggestions for Rache." He cleared his throat dramtically causing everyone to laugh.
"She should lighten up a bit. She takes everything too damn serious."
"Uh profanity." John raised an eyebrow.
"Oh my bad, I mean she takes everything too dang serious. I feel like if she got away from her Dad she'd be different."
My cheeks reddened as curious faces turned toward me. I gave Gar the dirtiest look I could, but he wouldn't stop.
"Oh yeah," John encouraged him, hoisting his feet up on the table next to Gar. "What have you noticed about her home life? Is it unhealthy?"
"No, not really." Gar chewed his nails and flicked his finger tips as if trying to remove a piece of lint. "Her dad doesn't seem like the nicest guy though. Her step dad I mean. I don't know anything about the other one."
"SHUT UP." I suddenly shouted, catching even more attention.
"Yeah," he continued even louder. "He talks to her kind of mean, treats her like a crimi-"
"I SAID SHUT UP!"
I shot out of my seat and threw my fist into his face so hard his head snapped back. When he straightened back up I could see a little bit of blood spattered on the corner of his lip.
"This is pointless, I'm done here." I said, storming off.
Gar gave a despondent nod licking the corner of his lip where I'd hit him. "Me too." He got up, quickly moving past me through the door.
I slammed the door. I needed a walk, some air, anything but this place, but there was nowhere to go. Not really. I felt a heafty weight latch onto my shoulders as I watched the sun duck behind the trees. I watched as Gar got in his car gunning the engine, he zoomed past me.
Great job asshole, I thought, guess whose house you're staying in.
I got home 2 hours earlier than I usually did on Wednesdays. Dad was standing in the kitchen spreading a thick hunk of peanut butter on a slice of wheat bread. He slapped the other slice on top then shot a casual glance at me.
"Thought you had an interview today?"
"They canceled."
I sidled up to the counter, hoisting myself up backwards.
"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow.
Breathing felt like squeezing carrots through a cheesecloth when I looked back at him.
"They rejected your application didn't they?"
"I didn't say that."
"You said they canceled. Why would they cancel unless they rejected your application?"
"I don't know."
His fist came down hard on the counter.
"DAMNNIT! You just gonna sit around my house the rest of your life?"
"It's not that big of a de-"
"DON'T TELL ME IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL! DO YOU PAY THE BILLS? HUH? IS YOUR NAME ON THE ELECTRICITY BILL OR THE WATER BILL?"
My lips tightened in a grim line as I quickly moved to get past him, but he caught me by the collar.
"DON'T WALKOUT ON ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER COME UP WITH A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE BECAUSE I'VE DONE ALL I'M GONNA DO! I FEED YOU, I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, AND I PAY FOR REHAB!
"Rehab was your idea." I snarrled. "There's nothing wrong with me."
"THEN WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU GET INTO COLLEGE OR AT LEAST GET A FUCKING JOB!"
I attempted to jerk away, but his hold became tighter where I lost my balance, dangling from his grip.
With red and watery eyes he released me, turning to walk out of the room without saying a word. Likewise, I dismissed myself, climbing the stairs to my room in bitter silence.
Could I hate myself anymore than I already did. Would that make him accept me?
I quickly wiped the small tear forming in my left eye, dawning a poker face when Gar looked up at me. He was lounging on my bed with his laptop, his lip still busted from saying anything he carefully got up and locked himself inside my closet.
If I wasn't so tangled in my own problems I might have felt sorry for him, might have. It must be lonely holding onto people that don't want you around. I would know.
I snorted, rubbing my nose and checking to make sure he was gone when I went to my drawer, pulling out a large t-shirt. Carefully I slid out of my jeans and unhooked my bra, glancing at the closed closet door every now and then. Climbing in the bed and pulling the covers over my legs, I shut my eyes, trying to sleep, but I couldn't. It was like a choke hold was caught around my neck. Why was I this thing no one could stand, not even myself.
Stabbing prickles inched up my thighs heading for my stomach as I thought of my mom. Who she was when I looked into her eyes at ten years old with a knife to her throat, my dad's hate filled voice in my ear. How his upper lip curled with disgust at the sight of her laying there helpless, "Kill the bitch." He snarrled. "Kill her for both of us. She doesn't deserve to live."
Weakness siezed every muscle until I was heaving uncontrolably. I hate him! I hate him and wish he'd rot in hell for all of fucking eternity! I yelled it over and over again in my head.
And now I was boiling over. It hurt, hurt so bad. My stepdad would never understand that I couldn't be normal if I tried.
I turned my head to wipe the snot and tears, flipping the soggy pillow over when I heard the lock on the closet door. Gar, who was wearing a ridiculous pair of Daffy Duck boxerz and a white tall t, came to sit at the edge of my bed. My brows furrowed into a low arch and I shifted uncomfortably as I felt his weight next to me.
I didn't want him near me. Two fuck ups didn't equal normal. I scooted away until I was so close to the edge of the bed I was nearly on the floor. This didn't deter him from resting his hand on my back.
I listened to the sound of my own laboured breathing, breath, after breath. His hand felt heavier with each heave. The slowly dwindling minutes lessened my distraught until he was no longer in sight. Only the fullness of night.
