Bang, Fubuki, Genos and Saitama walked to the front desk where Tatsumaki stood, her arms crossed.

"Onee-chan? Didn't you say you had something to do? And what got on your nerves?" asked Fubuki.

Tatsumaki sighed. "Let's just say I should have learnt my lesson about trusting threat level assessments from anyone but caveman." she levitated a luggage that was behind her. "Anyway, let's not talk about that. Today, I just want to enjoy myself." The others nodded in agreement.

Someone else came walking in through the entrance. All turned to face Metal Bat, along with... a young female whose eyes, among other things, look far too much like Metal bat to be a coincedence. Said female was sitting on Metal Bat's shoulders.

"Eh? Looks like we weren't first." said Metal Bat.

"I told you to run faster didn't I?" yelled Zenko, bopping the S class, who let out a seemingly genuine 'oomph'.

"Hey Miss Tornado, Miss blizzard, Mr Silver Fang and..." Zenko's eyes widened when she caught sight of the walking egg.

Zenko let out a squeal, causing everyone, even Genos with his artificial hearing, to cringe. Well, of course Caped Baldy was unaffected but that's besides the point. "YOUR HEAD IS SO SHINY! CAN I TOUCH IT?! PRETTY PLEASE CAN I TOUCH IT?!"

"Eh?" Saitama couldn't decide if that was a compliment or not since it came from someone who could be no more than 8. He decided why not. "Uh, sure, go ahead."

In an amazing show of speed, Zenko leapt from her brother's shoulders right onto Saitama's. She very enthusiastically, though it could be argued it was more creepily, rubbed at the bald's chromedome, staring at her own reflection.

"It's shinier than my piano! I knew you didn't polish it enough nii-san!"

Metal Bat raised his hands in the air. "Hey, it ain't my fault that guy polishes his head." Okay, that had no chance to be a compliment in Saitama's books.

"SO I'M BALD! WHAT'S IT TO YOU HUH?!" screamed Saitama, causing the girl on his shoulders to giggle.

"Ignore my nii-san, he's stupid!" she quipped.

"Eh?! Don't take sides with him Zenko! He's the fraud that got above me in rank." sneered Metal Bat, which was a horrible choice on his part, because both Genos and Tatsumaki appeared right in his face.

"You have no right to insult Saitama Sensei when he deserves to be above even Rank 1."
"Know your place you stinking delinquent!"

Metal Bat was silent for a new record of one second due to shock. Shock about why two heroes ranked above Caped Baldy, one being Tornado of Terror for god's sake, gave this much of a damn. He snapped out of it, walking over to get his Imouto. "Alright, stop bothering Caped Baldy. We gotta get a better room while we still can."

"You should've ran faster!." replied Zenko. The two headed to the receptionist while the others watched.

"Who's that?" whispered Saitama to no one in particular, "Don't remember seeing her at the meeting."

"That's because she wasn't." replied Tatsumaki, earning herself a raised brow from the bald.

"That's Metal Bat's Imouto, Zenko. She's basically the only thing in the world Metal Bat doesn't hate." chimed in Fubuki.

"Oh. He doesn't like leaving her alone I take it?"

"Indeed he doesn't, which is why I requested the association let him bring her along." replied Bang. "Besides, I heard she has a piano competition in two days, so I figured why not let her relax. If nothing else, this should make Baddo-kun less angsty so he won't anger anyone and ruin the day."

While Metal Bat was doing all the administrative stuff, Zenko ran over to Bang and held out her hand. "Thanks for this trip Mr Silver Fang!"

Bang chuckled and shook it. "No problem. Just try to keep Baddo-kun in line, eh?"

"I will!" Zenko smiled, and everyone was certain the room somehow got a lot brighter.

"Zenko, I got a room. Let's go put our stuff down." Metal Bat came over to get his Imouto, who jumped on his shoulders. He walked off carrying two luggages, one was red and the other was pink, the pink one significantly bigger.

"I still don't understand how someone so nice is related to that delinquent." said Tatsumaki once the two were out of hearing range. "Still, at least he did something right."


Around 43 minutes later

The other heroes had arrived, and they were all soaking in the outdoor springs. Obviously, the male and female springs were seperated, but unfortunately for Tatsumaki, it wasn't sound proof.

"Ugh, they never shut up." she groaned.

Metal Bat and Flash were bickering again. Bat was talking about how they should have stayed to fight since they already wasted their time getting to the meeting, causing the trap-I mean, more elegant hero to retort that they would have been able to do nothing but get in an angry Tornado's way.

"I thought you'd have gotten used to this by now Onee-chan, what with having meetings every other week." said Fubuki. "Besides, that's how most males converse, even Eyelashes and Mountain Ape bicker from time to time."

"Yea, nii-san may be noisy, but you get used to it eventually!" concurred Zenko, who was in a swimsuit. In a hot spring.

Tatsumaki crossed her arms, letting out a frustrated 'hmph'. "Doesn't change the fact he's grating to my ears."

"Oh! I know a way to shut them up! Just do this!" Zenko dipped herself into the springs fully, causing everyone else to laugh, while Tatsumaki just took half her advice, and stuffed her ears with her powers.

"Why didn't I think of this before?" the ESPer wondered.


Even more later.

All were sat down in front of a stage where Sitch stood. Everyone had the Spring's most expensive and sought after set meal in front of them as they were addressed by the man.

"So, while I doubt Madam Shibawa's prophecy has passed, this matter will be addressed later. For today, let's all enjoy ourselves. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" exclaimed everyone.

"Oh! I do believe this is 'Dragon Killer'!" complimented Bang.

"Truly an amazing Sake." agreed Iaian.

"Yea. It's easy to drink but it's strong." said Atomic Samurai. "Shall we have a challenge, Silver Fang?"

Bang chuckled. "I don't see why not."

Unfortunately, some heroes were already wasted, specifically Puri-Puri-Prisoner, Tank Top Master and Superalloy Darkshine, who were currently posing and showing off their muscles. To this, Tatsumaki groaned, while Metal Bat did his best to hide his Imouto's eyes, and Fubuki snickered. Everyone else was pretty much used to this happening so didn't give much of a damn.

"Nii! I want to see the ballerinas!" exclaimed Zenko, causing the few staff members around to giggle.

"Trust me, you don't wanna see these ones." replied Metal Bat.

"Oh come on! It's been so long since I've watched a dance Nii!" Zenko was pouting now, causing Metal Bat to get anxious.

"Uh... tell you what, we'll go see some real ballerinas after your competition, kay Zenko?" suggested pompadour head, not wanting to upset his Imouto.

"Fine, I'll be gracious just this once!" The staff members could no longer control themselves, no thanks to the drinks, and were soon chuckling away, while Metal Bat just heaved a sigh of relief. "Now let me go before I hurt you!"

Thankfully, before the little girl's innocence could be robbed from her, the three 'ballerinas' were slammed right onto the floor face down, though with enough force to only cause a 'thump', nothing more, a green glow surrounding them.

"There, they stopped their horrendous dancing." grumbled Tatsumaki as she picked up another piece of fish.

"Phew, thanks. I owe ya one." Metal Bat released Zenko, who pouted even more.

"Thanks for saving me Miss Tornado. Nii is going to get it from me if we don't see any ballerinas!" Tatsumaki hummed, not sure how to respond to both a thankful Baddo and a thankful Zenko. She turned towards her own Imouto, raising her glass. "Fubuki, wanna have a drinking contest?"

Fubuki sweatdropped. "Huh? B-but, it didn't really go so well the last ti-"

"Look, I've improved since then, okay? No need to worry about me. You wanna drink or not?"

"Uh... no thanks Onee-chan. 'Dragon Killer' might be too strong for me."

"They've got other drinks though!"

"Oh come on Tats, someone of your size should be drinking something that isn't alcoholic." chimed in Saitama as he grabbed the glass of Sake out of the ESPer's hands.

"Huh?! What are you implying cue ball!"

"Nothing! I just think your alcohol tolerance couldn't possibly be too good. Besides, what if you get a hangover tomorrow? The trip is two days, isn't it?"

"Why you stupid-"

"Tatsumaki, language. There are children here." Genos interrupted the ESPer, receiving a trip into the wall behind him as thanks.

"Hmph! Fine, but only because I hate hangovers."

Fubuki inwardly sighed in relief. Sober Tatsumaki was a lot easier to deal with after all.

"Good girl. I'll go get you some orange juice." Unfortunately, Saitama decided to fuck it all up, and his flat tone only further enraged the ESPer.

"THAT'S IT! I'LL TEACH YOU NOT TO DISRESPECT ME! A DRINKING CHALLENGE, YOU AND ME, EGGHEAD!"

"Sensei, would you rather I take the challenge for you?" Genos inquired, but Saitama just shook his head.

"It's fine dude, I'n not gonna take her up on it." said the bald as he remembered exactly how Bang and Fubuki initially planned to get him and the petite ESPer together. "Besides, I can't even get drunk anymore. Not sure why."

The glass in Saitama's hand suddenly got a bit lighter as Tatsumaki pulled all the Sake out of it and dumped it right onto Saitama.

"Can't even get drunk? More like too cowardly to try!"

Saitama deadpanned as he realised there was no way he was getting out of this. "Yea well, at least there won't be any cliche romance after this." He wiped his face dry with his sleeves. "Ah fine. I'll go get some of the lighter stuff."

"OH YOU THINK I'M GONNA GO EASY ON YOU?! KEEP DREAMING! WE'RE TAKING THE 'DRAGON KILLER', YOU HEAR?! FIRST TO GET DRUNK LOSES-"

As expected, Tatsumaki was out first, right after just 3 cups.

"One... one more damn it!"

"Eh, give it up Tats. I don't wanna be responsible for you getting a throbbing headache tomorrow."

"Shu... shut up Baldy! I can..." the ESPer resisted a hurl, "take it."

"Yea... no." Saitama glanced at Fubuki, noticing a small smile. "Fubuki, please help me convince her to stop."

"You won't... try if you know what's-" another resisted hurl, "good for y-you, Imouto."

Fubuki raised her hands into the air, "You heard her.", the smile on her face grew by a bit. Across her, Genos was having the hardest challenge in his life to not be a brash idiot and let slip another comment that could get the building damaged. "Sensei, perhaps you should escort her to her room to rest."

"Eh?! No way dude, that's Bang and Fubuki's job!" exclaimed Saitama. This was quickly turning into exactly what he didn't want.

"One... more... damn it!" Tatsumaki yanked at Saitama's robe to try and get his attention. Unfortunately, she didn't have as much control as sober Tornado, and ended up causing the top half to slip halfway down the bald's chest.

"Huh-Oi!" Saitama quickly pulled it back up, "Stop it Tats, I'm serious here!"

"Not with tha-that face you aren't!"

Saitama let out a sigh as he put on as serious a face as he could muster. "Now I am Serious. No more drinking."

For some reason, that got Tatsumaki to shut up for about a second before she crossed her arms in annoyance. "Fine! I needed to use the facilities anyway." The ESPer floated off, somehow wobbling midair.

The baldy let out a sigh of relief as he continued to eat. "I told her this wasn't a good idea."

Fubuki giggled, whispering to Saitama.. "Oh don't worry about it, you handled it-" she snicked, "masterfully."

"I agree Sensei, I detected a sudden increase in her heart rate when you got serious, though it stopped almost immediately." Genos kept his voice down.

"Eh? Dude, isn't that kinda intrusive?" Both Genos and Fubuki deadpanned at Saitama.

"That's not the point Sensei. I believe you have a chance with her-"

"Dude, she's drunk. Obviously she can't think straight. I told you already, I'm not going to take advantage like that. Plus, you said it yourself, it stopped immediately."

"But Sense-"

"No buts Genos! I told you all before, I'm not going to risk a relationship knowing it could do more harm. What hero would I be if I did?"

Genos hung his head in shame as once again, his wise Sensei teaches him another lesson to being a hero. "Of course. I apologise, Sensei."

The bald let out a sigh. "I keep telling you not to- never mind..."

Fubuki shook her head. "Well, after this trip, we'll find a way to make you all emotional again, I promise."

"Oi, it's bad to make a promise you don't know you can keep." cautioned Saitama, causing Genos to pull out a notebook to once again record his words of wisdom.

Fubuki snickered. "Do you really have so little faith in me? What about Bang and Genos?"

Saitama shook his head. "Look, I'm not gonna talk about this. I'm gonna go to the toilet. He turned around and walked a few steps but stopped, turning back around. "Eh, where even are the toilets?"

Even though Genos gave him directions, Saitama got lost anyway, unsurprisingly, as he took the wrong turn, ending up outside the women's toilets.

"Oh, was it supposed to be a left turn?" he mumbled to himself as he awkwardly scratched his neck. "Oh well." He turned around and started to walk again, when unfortunately for him, Tatsumaki, by some miraculous chance, floated out of the entrance.

"Oi, octopus," she floated over to Saitama, bonking him on the back of the head. "you and I have unfinished business!"

"Go to your room Tats, you're drunk."

"Am not!"

"Am to."

"AM NOT!" the ESPer 'crouched' on Saitama's shoulders as she repeatedly hit the back of his head. "AM NOT, AM NOT, AM NOT!" Saitama set her back down on the ground, causing her to instead target his chest. "FIGHT ME CAPED BALDY!"

"Tats, please." groaned Saitama, still hating his hero name.

The stood there as Tatsumaki continued to smack Saitama, each of her 'am not's getting quieter and slower, her punches slowed down until she was panting.

"Alright, fine. I'm getting you to bed." Without waiting for an answer, he picked up the ESPer in a piggyback, causing her to yelp in shock.

"Put me... down you stupid bal... baldy."

"No, this is for your own good. Seriously Tats, hangovers are horrible.

"I...know that... you... idiot." Tatsumaki plopped herself onto Saitama's chromedome, using it as a makeshift pillow.

"Man, this feels like a cliche." complained Saitama, his worst nightmare of living in a shitty soap opera coming true.

"Then don't ma... make it one," the ESPer yawned, "and fight me."

"Some other time Tats."

The two of them were silent for a while as Saitama tried to find his way to her room. He eventually caved in and asked her for directions.

"Ugh. Put me down."

"Okay." Saitama crouched down, allowing Tatsumaki to hop off. She suddenly held onto his hand, and began dragging him along. "Uh... Tats?"

"Shut up. I'm ti..." a small yawn, "tired, and I don't trust your sense of directions, so I'll guide."

"Oh. Okay."

The two of them walked around a bit more, when Tatsumaki sighed and sat down next to a wall.

"Tats?"

"Shut up." The ESPer pulled out her phone, sending a quick text to Fubuki. It didn't take a genius to figure out she got lost too.

"You must really be tired." noted Saitama as he sat himself down too.

A minute of silence went by, when Tatsumaki nudged Saitama.

"Hey," she began, "I wanna thank you for trying to help Fubuki."

"Eh? Didn't you say you were tired-"

"I'm tryi... trying not to fall asleep so sh-shut up and let me talk."

"Oh."

"Anyway... thanks. She might finally ditch that group of hers if only to try and catch up to room... roomba in rank."

Saitama stared into blank space for a moment, debating whether or not he seriously wanted to do this. "Screw it. It's only a cliche if I make it one. This is just a normal conversation is all." He turned back to the ESPer. "Sure, no problem."

Tatsumaki nodded her head in acknowledgement and there was another moment of silence as Saitama chose his words carefully.

"Hey... Tats?"

"What?"

"I was wondering why you keep insisting Fubuki ditch her friends. And also, about that whole only make friends with the strong thing."

For a moment, Saitama thought, no, knew he saw sadness in the ESPer's eyes, which quickly turned into a burning hatred.

"You don't need to know."

"Tats..."

"YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW!" In a sudden burst of energy, Tatsumaki rumbled the walls around her. Realising he totally screwed it up, Saitama placed his hand on the ESPer's shoulders, lightly squeezing like he's seen friends do in movies.

"Calm down Tats! You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I don't have the right to force you." The ESPer calmed down, and the walls stopped rumbling.

"Good that you know." She sat back down, Saitama following suit.

"But still, if you feel comfortable about sharing it, I'd like to know." he turned away as he tried not to look her in the eyes. People can tell if you're lying just by your eyes after all, and she didn't need to know he'd been told by Bang already.

"...Why?"

"Because that's what friends do. We care for each other. Not all humans can be friends Tats, but I assure you there are some out there."

"...You're wrong."

"Huh?"

"There's no such thing as friends. Only family. Even then you have to differentiate your real family from a fake one." Tatsumaki's voice got noticeably softer, almost like whimpering.

"Huh. I guess the alcohol is taking it's toll... shit, should I really?" Saitama rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey, don't say that. There's no such thing as a fake family, and friends do exist. In the end, there's only two kinds of people. The people who genuinely care about you, and the ones that don't."

"... Yea right. You don't know about my family, my parents."

"Of course I don't, which is why I have no right to judge you. But, as your friend, I want you to know that I think your mindset is... unhealthy."

"Idiot! It's not unhealthy, it's the truth! My parents, they-" the ESPer sniffled, her eyes got watery and stung, eliciting the need to blink.

Saitama, noticing just how close to reality the shitty soap opera was getting tried to comfort her. "T-Tats, stop. If you don't want to talk about it, do-"

"No! I'll make you understand. I'll make sure you never insult me by claiming I can make friends with any random weakling again!" Tatsumaki clenched her fists so hard, her knuckles turned white. "My parents. They pretended to care. They pretended I mattered. As soon as the right price was offered, they sold me off like I was fucking merchandise! They knew what those bastards would do to me, but they didn't care! THEY. NEVER. CARED. Then those monsters did the same thing to Fubuki. They would sell their own biological children just to make a quick buck! CAN YOU HONESTLY TELL ME THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FAKE FAMILY?!"

Saitama flinched. Hearing it from Bang, he was mortified, but hearing it from Tatsumaki herself, her voice, so venomous... it was... moving? "But what about Bang? What about Fubuki? I'm sorry about your parents, Tats, but that's my point. They didn't genuinely care about you, but Bang and Fubuki, they genuinely care about you... I care about you." There and then, he realised his nightmare came alive. He felt it. A heartbeat. He felt alive.

It took some time for Saitama's words to register in Tatsumaki, but when it did, a bit of red came to her cheeks. "You... what?"

"Ah crap. This is exactly what I didn't want." Saitama sighed inwardly as he prepared to do his part as a hero, and to fulfill his promise to Bang. "There are people who care about you, you just gotta find them, and you already have." the baldy smiled. "I'm glad I met you, Tatsumaki. You, Genos, Bang, even your sister. My life has gotten... considerably less boring since I've known you all. So please, let me help change your life too. Let me be your friend..." He extended a hand to the shaking ESPer.

Tatsumaki stared at Saitama for a second before glancing towards his extended hand. She seemed to get more intense by the second, and Saitama was worried for a second she might somehow break her own knuckles by clenching too hard, when the ESPer suddenly crashed right into Saitama, her right hand pounding on him. "Fucking Baldy... Who do you think you are, crashing into my life, making such a ridiculous request..." she said between sobs.

Saitama hesitantly placed one hand on her head, gently smoothing out her hair while simultaneously patting her back with the other. "Come on, don't be like that. You're the Tornado of Terror, right? Don't cry because some worthless bald idiot made you mad... Please?"

Tatsumaki continued to cry on Saitama and smacking him with an increasingly tired hand, eventually just sobbing, while the baldy continued to comfort her until she eventually stopped sobbing entirely.

"Saitama?" whimpered Tatsumaki, her voice soft.

"Yea?" he replied, realising this was the first time she called him by his name.

"Thank you."

And with that, all was quiet as the Tornado of Terror fell asleep in the Caped Baldy's arms. Saitama smiled a bit as he very carefully moved the ESPer away, not wanting whoever she texted to see them in an awkward situation. Right on time too, as Fubuki, Genos and Bang turned the corner as soon as he settled the heroine down.

"Onee-chan? Are you... oh." Fubuki's eyes widened a little when she noticed the peaceful, somehow smiling, form of her Onee-chan, and a no longer nonchalant Saitama sitting beside her.

"Eh? Three of you to fetch Tats? A bit overkill right?" the bald stood up, carrying the ESPer bridal style.

"Sensei, Fubuki was the one who received a text. I was brought along as I could detect your signals as Tatsumaki failed to specifically state where in the building you two were. Bang-san was simply worried, therefore he followed. Was my explanation sufficient?"

Saitama nodded as he tried to ignore the fact the cyborg totally surpassed 20 words. "Yea, it's fine."

"So, Saitama-kun. I take it you've somehow gotten through to my granddaughter?" asked Bang.

"We're friends is all."

"Are you sure?"

"Until she says otherwise, that is how it is to me." Saitama handed the sleeping ESPer to Bang, who carried her piggyback. "Welp, that totally felt like a soap opera."

"I guess our plan went through anyway, huh?" Fubuki giggled. "So... anything Saitama?"

"Eh?"

"Sensei," Genos pulled up a HUD from his arms, "I am detecting an increased heart rate. Could it be your emotions are starting to surface, and you've fallen for Tatsumaki?" Genos smiled. "I am happy for you, Sensei. One as great as you deserves happiness. If you-"

"Genos," interrupted Saitama, "All I know is I asked to be her friend, nothing more, and I highly doubt she feels otherwise. So please you guys, don't say anything okay?" Saitama glared at Genos specifically remembering the other times the blonde was far too blunt for his own good.

"If that is what Sensei wishes, who am I to say otherwise." Genos bowed a perfect 90 degrees. "Tatsumaki will know from you, and you alone. I promise."

"If it means you'll continue to help my Onee-chan, I do too." Fubuki smirked, noticing the red on Saitama's face.

"And you already know my answer, Saitama-kun." Bang smiled in content.

"Cool. Now come on, I still need the toilet." Saitama yawned. "Man, I don't remember emotions being this tiring..."


And it's done. I apologise for the long wait guys, I was trying to decide whether or not any of this wasn't realistic. I mean, the sudden return of Saitama's emotions felt a bit rushed to me at first, then I watched a video explaining he wasn't apathetic, rather bored, and that his emotions are still there, just waiting to wake up again, so I went with it.

I apologise by the way if I didn't manage to write drunk Tats without making everyone cringe from how OOC she was. I couldn't get much info about whether or not being drunk makes you open up more, and her behaviour I took from stories I remember reading, not real life experience, so this may feel too much like some shitty drama. Sorry.

Anyway, here we go I guess. Time for some more OOC Tatsumaki, maybe even a bit of GenBuki. Oh, and I decided to introduce the bat siblings here, so there's that. Expect a lot more from them, and probably the other S classes too. *Cough* Your Majesty, *Cough*. Woop dee freakin doo.

Thank you all for reading my story, and taking the time to review it. Your support has been one hell of a source of motivation for me, and I hope I can continue to write at least an adequate story for you all. Until the next chapter!


Scarletrailgun: Oh, she's drunk alright. Man I should get myself drunk so I can write these more realistically. And thank you for reminding me of the Wattpad story. Welp, hopefully I don't butcher the relationship thing.

Ander Arias: *Confetti and Party Blower* woo 100+ reviews! Thanks, I'll keep in mind to focus on improving my dialogue scenes as well.

Hektols: Maybe in a filler in the future? *Shrug*

Rebmul: Is it sufficiently fluffy?"

Mobydicks: Le ship has sailed, and I hope the journey is smooth throughout.

Elfetrange: I dunno about adorable, I probably tried to make it angsty a bit too much. And yea, Fubuki and Genos are gonna jump on the 'developing feelings' train too. Let's hope this here conductor doesn't derail it!

Chrisfragger, Review 1: I'll keep that in mind when I rewrite the first few chapters.

Chrisfragger, Review 3: I... may or may not have changed that a bit too quickly.


My inspirations:

The Bald and The Esper: Fanfiction

The Strongest Hero: Fanfiction

Icebreaker: Fanfiction

An Odd Kind of Love: Fanfiction

Threat level: Tornado: Wattpad

There is definitely more to the list, please let me know if you read anything similar! It could be from this here site, ArchiveOfOurOwn or Wattpad.


Stories I've been trying to learn from, including the above.

Secter and Tatsumaki: Fanfiction

Love is like a blizzard: Fanfiction

Empty Heart, Meet Aching Heart: Fanfiction

An Odd Kind of Love: Fanfiction

Flight of the Silverbird: Fanfiction

For The Love of a Favour: Fanfiction

Hit me Like a Truck: Fanfiction

Boundless more I should probably get around to taking notes from.


The names given to the HoE's creations belong to "The Lone Lobster".