CHP 11: Secrets in the Dark
Hey guys, I've got another chapter. It takes me a while to get chapters up with this new job and everything :P anyways, I've outlined the rest of the story and I really like it. I spent so much time writing today and I'm even working on some original stuff. Guess I'll see how everything goes. Oh and spoiler, this chapter is kinda especially for the BBRAE lovers 3 much love guys.
Disclaimer-I don't own the Teen Titans
"I'm not doing it!" Gar pouted, sinking deep into one of the purple bean bags we'd bought at Super Mart. "NOT, NOT, NOT." He stared intently at the tv screen while fiddling with the game station controller he hadn't set down since we'd gotten back to my place.
"What about all that 'be positive' nonsense you kept dishing out earlier?" I smirked, pulling up another bean bag, collapsing onto my stomach.
"That was before HE got involved."
I chuckled a little, which was a little unusual for me and I guess Gar was a little surprised as well, I sensed it in the way he kind of twerked his head in my direction for a brief moment.
"What do you have against him? He hasn't done anything to you?"
He sneered, letting out a loud belch after chugging some fizzy water. "He's just annoying. He acts like he's God's gift to the world or somethin'. I don't like the dude."
I found it moderately amusing that he would pass that kind of judgement on anyone. He was an ex meth addict and 5+ years behind the rest of his generation when it came to maturity.
"Get over it puss," I smirked, snatching a pillow from the floor, tossing it at the tattoo on his bare back.
He cocked me a grin. "Anyway, fuck him. We have other things to discuss tonight."
"We do?"
Reaching over, Gar switched off the gamestation while looking me dead in the eyes.
"Tell me everything this time. You promised."
I rolled over onto my back, my gaze floating to the ceiling as my thoughts ran past me. I hated this feeling, like I was a bug trapped in a jar or under a microscope. Eventually I knew I'd have to tell someone the truth, if I didn't, they would pick it out of me; most people, not unlike Gar, stared at me like they knew already.
"I slit my mom's throat." The words stabbed me as they came out. Gar just sat there, squinting at me. I didn't want to hear him speak. "It happened when I was ten." I mumbled, walking away from him, towards the bed, burying myself in the sheets so I wouldn't have to see his face.
"Did she die?"
"Not from that." My tongue thickened in the back of my throat the more I tried to explain. "She was stabbed seven times after by that asshole."
"Your real father?"
"No Santa Claus," I snarled, tears streaming down my face. "I didn't want to, I didn't, I-I-"
"Why the hell did you then? Why would you do that to your own mother?"
"I don't know. I guess I was scared... I was tired of getting hurt and I thought he'd do it again."
"What did he do to you Rache?"
By now Gar had moved to the bed, disregarding my need for personal space completely. He leaned against me, waiting for my response.
But I didn't want to tell him. I'd rather let him think I was a monster than tell anyone.
"Your not gonna tell me?" He looked me square in the eyes. I turned, wanting to be free, but he sat there waiting. We sat there for nearly a half an hour before I felt the words come to me.
"He was raping me and when he wasn't raping me, he would beat me. He always said the only reason I was born was to please him. One night I tried to stand up to him. I yelled so loud my mom came in and saw us naked in bed together. She was going to have his ass arrested so he knocked her over the head with a lamp, knocked her unconscious. That's when he told me..."
The memories came flooding back to me as I pictured his face that night. I felt it all over again. "He said kill the bitch, she's a jealous whore. She hates you because you please me like she can't. Shut her ass up for good, kill her."
"Why would you listen to him?"
I opened my eyes to see Gar's contorted face.
"I didn't idiot. I tried to run, but he caught me. He was rapping me hard until blood started running down my legs. I was in so much pain, I just wanted to die. That's when he shoved a knife in my hand. He gave me two options; either I cut her or he'd cut her while ripping me apart, then he'd kill me.
Gar hung his head.
"You didn't kill her Rache, you were only ten, it was that bastards fault."
"Please don't Gar, don't take up for me. I deserve death and worse. If I hadn't of listened to him, she'd still be here."
He rested a hand against my shoulder, that I couldn't push away, which turned into a hug. My fingers tap danced across the grooves of his spine resting at the small of his back.
"Let's not talk about my psychotic father anymore. "
"Okay, what do you want to talk about? I'm cool with changing the subject."
"There's your tattoo.. and... your parents..."
He let go, scoffing. "Oh, ha." He laughed. "The tattoo is something I did with my friends. You know that name I hate?"
"BB?" I mocked.
"Yeah, that one. They used to call me that." He chuckled, tossing his head back. "One night, the first night I ever used, they took me to this tattoo shop. And got this thing tattooed on my back. It's a Werewolf or some kind of Animal. Anyway, I don't know, it's stupid shit. They started calling me a Beast after I got the tat. They said it was a symbol of the day I stopped being a weak little kid and became a man."
I stared at him blankly, which made him squirm and play with his fingers like usual. I wasn't really sure what to say, I just felt bad for him. He wasn't a bad person, just a misinformed one. Had his 'friends' of not stepped in, his life would have turned out different.
"I'm sorry... Sorry it worked out for you like that."
"Don't be sorry," he laughed. "I was a dumb little kid then, not so much now."
"...And your parents?"
"They died." He shrugged.
I looked at him slightly wide eyed, the way he said it so causally was disturbing.
"I'm sure you knew that was coming."
"Yeah, but the way you just, I don't know, said it nonchalantly like that."
"Like I said, I was a little kid then. Not so much now." This time when he said it his voice took on a bitter edge that I wasn't used to hearing.
"Look, I'm getting tired," he said getting up and undoing his pants.
He yawned, stretching and scratching his leg on his way to the closet. "Guess all this sharing is a little much."
"Hey Gar..."
"Yeah," He turned.
"You might need this."
"Gee, thanks." He laughed as a pillow smacked into the side of his head, " And for a second I thought you were going to let me have the bed."
"Right."
My night sweats started again at two in the morning,like last time.
I heard his voice. It was burning in my ears.
Piercing them.
This time his hands were around my throat and his lips against mine.
Did I have a choice? Would anyone hear me if I screamed.
Don't ever tell those fucking lies to anyone ever again, you hear me!
His finger crushed the tiny bones in my throat.
Now I knew know one would hear me scream.
My breaths came out it small painful gasps as he forced his way in.
"Stop it. STOP IT. STOOOOOPPPPP!"
Suddenly, my eyes shot open as long slender fingers pushed a lock of hair out of my face. My fists met flesh.
"OW! Damn Rache, you gotta calm down! It's only me."
"Gar?"
"You were freaking out again..."
I cocked an eyebrow.
"Okay... so you were freaking out again...and it got cold in the closet." He laughed.
I rolled my eyes, but clearly not rejecting the company.
"Your not going to make me get out?"
"Guess you lucked out tonight." I rolled over shutting my eyes.
"But I suggest you get your hand off my butt if you value your vital organs."
"Ha," he chuckled "That was your butt.. I thought that was an extra pillow or something."
"Nice try."
He got quite for five seconds... a world record.
"Dude if I wanted you I'd just do this."
He grabbed me by the shoulder forcing me to face him before pressing his mouth against mine. MY lips curled with satisfaction, as I deepened the kiss.. He lifted my leg, wrapping it around his waist as he pulled himself under me. His pelvic bone pressing into mine.
I smirked deviously, biting his lower lip.
He smiled lazily, working his hands up my night shirt. I reached for his boxers, but he grabbed my hand.
"That's what I'd do, IF I wanted you, but you're already getting enough from DICK as it is."
"Fair enough." I turned away, lips caught in a thin line.
"Rache?"
"What?"
"Night." He said, patting me on the shoulder and heading back for the closet.
"Night Gar..."
Two weeks later, it was obvious that Gar still wasn't budging when it came to the four bedroom place. After living with him for about a month I realized he could be extremely stubborn when he wanted to be.
"Hey, I gotta get to work, text you when I'm off at five alright. I think I've gotta a plan about this apartment situation."
"That's fine..."
"You have a job interview at the mall today right?" He asked, tapping me on the side.
"Yeah at that one store, you know the one with that nosy blonde girl." I yawned, rolling over.
"Dang, you're really desperate." He grinned. "I saw you sneak that application into the trash when you thought I wasn't paying attention."
"Yeah, well, I changed my mind and picked up another one. Anything beats dealing with my foster dad."
"Didn't I say that first?" He laughed.
"Just go to work."
"Yeah fine." He grinned and was out the door, immediately following I pulled out my phone.
Hey Vic.
Yo
He'll be off at five. Send him the text.
OK
Did you text everyone else already?
Yeah, they're coming.
Cool. See you around 6pm
See you.
