"Here!" Daryl thrusted a purple plaid shirt in Sasha's direction. "Put this on." His voice was sounding less than amused as his eyes took in her farm wear knowing she wore the ridiculous get up on purpose. Sasha folded her arms, ready to set up her interaction with Daryl like a standoff. She had been at Serenity for almost two weeks and she and Daryl had butt heads daily over the silliest of things. Rick didn't lie when he said Daryl would stick to her side for the duration of her stay. He was more like a thorn in her side, it seemed she had already done something to unnerve him already and it wasn't even noon yet.
"No." She answered, opening the tall, silver refrigerator door and grabbing some orange juice from an obscenely large mug.
"I can't let you go 'round the ranch wearin' what you're wearin' Sasha. So c'mon."
Sasha took several sips of her juice before she turned back to Daryl, trying not to admire how sexy his scowl was. "I think we should take a moment to laugh at the fact you think you're letting me do anything." She poured him a glass; despite his nagging, demanding demeanor she had enjoyed his company over the few days. He had given her a taste of farm life; showing her around, helping him with tasks and running errands and she had to admit it was an enjoyable time for her, mostly because of her guide's company.
The arrow incident was a faint, distant, bad memory and the pain had subsided enough that she no longer needed her butt pillow.
"What's wrong with what I'm wearin' Daryl?" She said rounding her r's in a funny attempt to irritate him.
"You're gonna distract all the men around here walkin' around with a top that says 'Orgasm Donor' on it so could you put this over it? Please?" He handed over the shirt again, easing up his tone to make her more compliant to his request.
Sasha looked at Daryl, in his black denim jeans and dark blue shirt, begrudgingly admitting to herself that he was attractive and appealed to all of her lady parts, even the ones with dust and cobweb on them. He had been quite considerate of her needs since she arrived despite him calling her hoity toity several times. What she liked most though was the way he spoke to her, his tone was compelling but not controlling and it was why she reached for the shirt to placate his aggravation.
Daryl tried not to let her easy acquiesce to his bold request affect him too much. Sasha didn't take orders from any one but her face had softened and it was a nice look on her. There was no way he was gonna let the ranch hands look in her direction wearing that attention seeking blouse. No work would get done and he'd have to start taking excedrin like it was a daily vitamin like Rick had started when Michonne entered their lives.
"Listen, you got a minute?" Sasha said taking a seat at the breakfast table, once she slipped the shirt on, she nodded her head for Daryl to sit opposite her.
"Wsup?" He asked, swinging the chair around so he could straddle it much to Sasha's annoyance.
"I've been biding time hoping somebody comes clean but its been days and it's business as usual here."
"Whatcha' talkin' bout?"
"Rick and Michonne and this baby bonus. I overheard you two talking. I know Rick paid off Gareth. What I don't know is why doesn't he tell Michonne already?"
"You were spying on us?" Daryl questioned.
"What?" She asked nonchalantly, "No! Of course not!"
Daryl folded his arms , his thin lips tightening.
"Maybe. A little. Look lecture me later! We need to tell Rick he has to tell her. I was gonna do it but Rick's her husband, it should come from him."
"I never thought I'd say this but I agree with you, I told him as much. My meemaw used to say three people can keep a secret if one of them is dead."
Sasha laughed and he wasn't expecting her to because he hadn't delivered any funny anecdote.
"Your meemaw? What's a meemaw?"
"My grandmother you nut!"
"Oh." She sobered up, she was in country town and the lingo was taking root into her city soul, Meemaw was going on the list. "Meemaw was right. If we don't intervene this is gonna come out and not in a good way."
"Trust me Sasha, I already told Rick this."
"They're two stubborn cows!' Sasha exclaimed.
"It's mules that are stubborn. Not cows." He corrected, softly laughing at her blunder.
The lunch time sun was streaking in through the wide kitchen windows over the cast iron sink, highlighting where Sasha sat, dancing over her natural curly hair.
Daryl thought she looked real pretty, but he would never admit that to her.
"I just don't like secrets. Secrets have a way of causing heartache." She said and he gathered she had some experience on the matter. He wondered who hurt her? He was beginning to question his cold heart on when did he start to care about her obviously bruised heart.
"Maybe I'll talk to him again. Try to let him see what he's doing isn't helping anyone. Rick has always been a tough nut to crack."
"Am I now?" Rick walked into the kitchen interrupting their conversation when he heard his name.
"Hey." Daryl said.
"You two joined at the hip now?" Rick asked, realizing what Michonne was saying about Sasha and Daryl was probably true. They did seem a lot closer now but they were yet to see if it was an honest attraction or just a hott mess.
"Nah. We were just talkin'."
"About me?"
"Kinda."
Sasha stomped Daryl's feet under the table with her loaned cowgirl boots.
His head shot up, glaring in her direction. "Yes. You." He said pinching her on her thigh.
Rick came over to the table but chose to lean on the kitchen aisle waiting for the odd duo to say what was obviously on their minds. Daryl looked at Sasha and she gave him an encouraging nod to initiate the long overdue intervention.
"Sasha and I," he cleared his throat and tried again, "We think you should tell Michonne about the money."
Rick cocked his head and squinted his eyes at them, his hands resting in his hip.
"Say what now?" He was certain he heard wrong.
Sasha looked at Daryl from a side gaze trying to figure out when did she and Daryl become a 'we' and why did she like the sound of it so much.
"We don't see the point of keeping it a secret anymore. She needs to know what you did." Daryl took the liberty of his close relationship with Rick to speak the hard truth. All his friend was doing was delaying the inevitable.
"And why you did it..." Sasha said her words falling to the ground with her gaze. She didn't want Rick to know she knew how much he cared about her friend. She knew he hadn't come to terms with the magnanimity of his feelings for Michonne. Hopefully she and Daryl were giving him a push in the right direction.
"You told Sasha?" Rick asked focusing on Daryl.
"Sasha overheard us in the library when we were in your office. Think about it Rick, that could've been Michonne, and then what?"
Daryl was right, so was Sasha; Michonne needed to know he gave the money to Gareth before she found out and assumed he lured her to marry him under false pretenses. Her sole purpose of marrying him had been about the money and now that he didn't have any to give her like they agreed he was afraid to tell her and risk losing the closeness they shared. Only now it was no longer the baby bonus he was concerned about even though he wanted to win. The question was his heart and if he could survive her absence. Even if he allowed her to move out after their year of marriage was up, and live in town where he would have access to his child his life would never be the same. Not after having known her and falling in love with the woman who was his greatest distraction yet his only focus.
He didn't want their marriage to end prematurely but without the money he didn't know if she would hold out the year for the baby bonus. He couldn't lose her but he couldn't continue to lie, not if he wanted to give their marriage a real chance, not if ultimately all he wanted was for her to place her utmost trust in him. He slid his hands over his face, pinching the four day stubble that he was growing out because Michonne said she loved how it felt against her thighs. He could never get enough of her and after having her in his life, in his bed and now in his heart; he couldn't picture his life without her.
"I'm going to tell her. Today. I just hope she understands why I kept it from her." His secret desire was that she would put her faith in him and unburden herself from the heaviness she was carrying.
"For what it's worth," Sasha said placing a firm hand on his shoulder, "Michonne cares about you. I can tell, she's just not very good at opening up her heart. She's been through a lot. You're different Rick."
"This is different." He said referring to the fact that he fell for the first woman to ever call him a jackass.
"You two got plans?" Rick asked, wondering if Daryl had any plans for the evening that extended outside of work activities.
"Nah, we'll be around."
"When is your wife expected to be back?" Sasha asked.
"I'm not sure, when she and Mama get together it usually lasts a while." He had taken her over to Sweethearts earlier on for a lunch date with his mother, then a trip to the farmers market for more jam supplies. She was getting more orders than she had ingredients for, he was contemplating hiring an assistant for her but he knew she would refuse, telling him to redirect the funds elsewhere.
"Well you have some time." Sasha and Daryl started to walk out of the sun lit kitchen.
"For what?" He threw over his shoulder, taking out leftover apple pie from the refrigerator.
"To decide on what you're gonna say."
Sasha was right, he'd use the time to get his thoughts together in hope she would forgive him and take a chance on the only thing he had left to offer her; his heart.
….
Oakland's Farmer's Market was bustling with activity, people flowed like colorful waves around the various stalls and tents as the picked, sniffed and inspected the produce they desired most and which fit their pockets best. Michonne and Georgia weren't vendors today but had taken a much needed break to catch up on orders and some rest.
Michonne genuinely liked spending time with her mother in law who felt more like a friend with every minute they spent together.
Georgie adjusted her fancy sunglasses on her head, her gray tresses cascading down her back today, "So tell me, no morning sickness? I was ok with all of my boys but my pregnancy with Rick was rough at the start, then he came at eight months you know. Like he was eager to be here." There was always a special smile plastered on Georgia's face when she spoke about Rick and Michonne never questioned it because he had that effect on her too.
"No, no morning sickness. I'm just tired." She shrugged picking up the reddest apple, plopping a few into a canvas bag given to her by the pretty african american proprietor with her pearly white smile.
The benefits of purchasing food less travelled was something she never even considered when she lived in the city, now all she wanted was the freshest of ingredients for her home.
"In the event you do get a little upset try some ginger tea. It'll do wonders for you. My friend Maddy swears by anything ginger, she'd use it to clean her windows if you gave her a chance." Georgia laughed and Michonne nodded as they shifted around, enticed by the bright, beautiful array of peaches, strawberries and blackberries neatly presented in front of them like a fruit rainbow.
The sweet scent wafted through the air, encouraging patrons to gravitate to the stall with the richest scents of the juiciest fruit.
"So how are things with you and Rick otherwise?" Georgia asked, lifting a giant watermelon and knocking it, testing it for fruitfulness. Michonne thought you'd never know until you know.
"We're fine. The ranch is running better. We've implemented some changes that I hope are gonna benefit Rick in the long term." She swallowed a lump thinking of the one thing that stood between their success of the new plans; the money that was yet to be given to them. How did she ask Georgia for it without sounding like a gold digger? She wasn't a gold digger, she wasn't going to see a cent of the money she was allotted, it would all go to Gareth in hope it would eradicate him from her life and bring her dead brother some peace.
"That's good to hear. Things will be better soon. I can't tell you how happy I am knowing Rick has a partner like you now. It's so clear how much you love him Michonne." There was a jingle of an ice cream truck in the background that somehow stood out to Michonne beneath the words her mother in law spoke with so much confidence.
Georgia believed they married for love and the money from the will was a secondary consolation prize. What would she think of Michonne when the truth was out?
The mass of concerns and problems that she once thought were so far away were now closing in on her making her feel faint.
"Georgia Grimes? Is that you?" A blonde woman with striking blue eyes approached them.
"Cicily! Long time no see." Georgia embraced the small framed but pretty woman, Michonne assumed they were old friends.
"This is my daughter in law Michonne." Georgia said introducing the two.
"Aahh yes, Rick's wife. Cicily Harrison. Nice to meet you dear." she said politely.
"Same here." Michonne answered with a smile.
When the pleasantries were over Cicily turned her attention back to Georgia.
"So I heard you're gonna be a grandma soon." Cicily bragged with a flip of her long blonde hair.
"What are you talking about?" Georgia asked in an attempt to keep her tone even. She was surprised that Cicily heard the news of the baby that she didn't even know had spread.
Michonne didn't know how she felt knowing this stranger knew she was pregnant. She wasn't even safely past that critical three month mark yet.
"Well my daughter just called me and said she and Shane are gonna have a little one soon. She's six weeks. Found out this morning. " Cicily looked excited at the prospect of a grandchild.
Michonne had only deduced that Cicily was her sister in law, Andrea's mother. She was staggered by the news that Andrea was pregnant too. If she was six weeks along then she was just two weeks behind. It was too much of a close call to win the baby bonus. Rick would be so disappointed. She kept hope alive, maybe once the funds were in their hands they could do some restructuring to stretch what they had.
"Really now!? They didn't say a word!" Georgia said setting down her tote bag on the ground.
"I'm sure Shane and Andrea are gonna announce it soon. You know our kids, they always had a flare for the dramatics. Now the money they got from the will is gonna go straight into some expensive baby furniture." Cicily clasped her hands together, she was giddy with anticipation that her married daughter was pregnant. Georgia also knew her old acquaintance loved to run her mouth which was faster than flash and her eye for the latest bit of gossip usually turned corners. Michonne froze from scrutinizing an almost ripe plum when Cicily mentioned the baby money that Shane and Andrea seemed to have already received when to her knowledge she and Rick were yet to see a check for their part.
"Well we're all having dinner tomorrow so maybe they'll tell me then." Georgia was beaming at the news, oblivious to Michonne's newly somber state.
"Well I just had to come tell you when I saw you. I'm headed back to get some sweet potatoes. Gonna make a pie for Henry. Michonne, nice meet'n you. Catch you later Georgia." Cicily waved them both and walked off leaving Georgia with a huge grin and Michonne with a whirlwind in her belly.
She cleared her throat, pretending to consider purchasing the plums as she asked a question she wasn't sure she was ready for the answer to.
"Andrea's pregnant huh? The race just got serious."
Georgia tackled the plums too, thinking of a good jam combination for the sweet fruit. "Yes! I'm gonna have to pretend I don't know anything when Shane announces tomorrow. Maybe you and Rick should announce too?"
"I'll ask him. So ummm...Cicily said something about the money from the will. She knows about the conditions?" In a tactic of delay she worked her way around the key question.
Georgia shrugged nonchalantly, bagging the plums, "Maybe Andrea told her mother. Or maybe she knew when Shane got the check. Look at those lovely bananas. I'd better get some for Olivia, she loves them." Georgia paid the vendor and after bagging their goods slowly walked over to the next stall, Michonne a step behind.
"Oh! So Shane got his reward." The feeling in her belly was getting worse.
Georgia turned to Michonne, "Yeah. Same day I gave Rick his, two weeks ago. Didn't he tell you?"
Michonne forced away the tears that were tickling her eyes. Not once did Rick mention to her he had gotten the prize money. Everytime she brought up the word money in their conversation he danced around it and never really said much about anything.
He had lied to her, she was hurt by the fact.
If Rick had other plans for the money why didn't he tell her from the get go? Why did he make her believe she was getting her share as soon as he received his.
"Maybe he forgot." She laughed it off, "You know with news of the baby and Sasha's surprise visit and all it probably slipped him." She hoped her voice didn't crack.
"Maybe it did." Georgia replied looking at Michonne with a hint of skepticism in her gaze. "Sweetie are you okay?"
"I'm fine but can we sit? Maybe the baby is hungry." She laughed, feigning hunger when all she wanted to do was cry. She could never get anything right, including her life. She believed Rick, believed in him and now all she felt was betrayed.
"Of course! There's a couple of food trucks close to the entrance, they got tables and chairs. You sure you're okay? You don't want me to call Rick?" Georgia grew concerned, Michonne's smooth dark skin looked a little pale when a few moments ago she had been glowing.
"No don't call Rick. I'm fine I promise. I just need to grab a bite."
Georgia placed a loving hand over her shoulder and ushered her to the food truck.
There was a tightness in her belly at the culmination of her thoughts, was it his intention to get her pregnant either way to get the baby bonus? She felt sick at the very disturbing notion that he knew for two weeks and never said anything to her.
No, she refused to believe it, Rick was the same man who was sweet and tender with her the night she surrendered her womanhood to him. The same man who had made sure she lacked for nothing since she arrived in Oakland. He was the same guy who stroked her belly until he fell asleep most nights, caressing their baby within.
He wouldn't lie to her. They may not be confessing undying love for each other but she wanted to believe their marriage was less of a business arrangement and more of a partnership.
Now that she didn't have the funds to repay Gareth she had to find a way to raise the money. She was going to tell Rick everything once her debt had been paid but with this unexpected delay her debt could easily find her. She didn't want to put Rick or their baby or the ranch in danger.
She would need to warn Rick, he needed to know they were no longer in the top spot for the baby bonus; he would be crushed at the news.
She sat on the bench feeling gloomy and desolate while Georgia sauntered off, the sky suspended in solidarity with her, turning from its lustrous blues to hints of varying shades of grey as the clouds pooled together, threatening a downfall.
If only the impending rain could wash her fears and worries away.
….
It was three in the afternoon when Georgia dropped her off at Serenity, the dark clouds had rendezvoused with the dry earth with a light drizzle, leaving a lingering gloominess in the sky that almost felt like an ominous nod to the conversation she was about to have with Rick. Her heart was pumping at a rapid pace knowing what she was about to face. She placed all her goods on the spick and span kitchen counter knowing Denise would unpack and shelf them as soon as she got the chance.
When she realized Rick wasn't inside the house she went to the one place he might be.
She found him in the barn brushing Milly down, her beautiful brown fur shining like silk. The two stood in companionable silence giving to each other what they couldn't find anywhere else; comfort.
"Hey." She said announcing herself, feeling sad about bursting the peaceful reverie that permeated the barn.
Rick turned to her, covering her from head to toe with his bluer than blue eyes, but not quite moving to greet her like he would normally. Things had shifted.
She took a breath, her bundled nerves wreaking havoc on her insides.
"Had a good day?" She asked.
"Could've been better." He answered, returning to his task unable to continue looking her in the eye.
"Rick." His name was spoken in a plea and a promise, she wanted to make things right for them so badly but there were things stuck in their way.
"Michonne."
"I have something to tell you." They both spoke at the same time.
Her eyes widened at his words, she wondered if he was going to tell her about the money.
He hoped she had finally found the courage to confess to him about Gareth. They were only a couple feet apart and the distance was already unbearable to him.
"Let me go first please."
He nodded.
"I know about the money. I know your mother already gave you the check with the marriage bonus. What I don't know is why you didn't tell me." She was proud of the control she kept in her voice because on the inside she was shaking like a leaf.
"Michonne, let me explain…" He moved forward and she held a hand up for him to stop. "Please let me finish because this is hard for me to say. You reneged on our deal. You lied to me and I don't understand why. All I know is finding it out at the farmer's market today was painful and embarrassing. Just answer me one question, did you make sure I was pregnant on purpose? That first night when we made love? Did you know from then we'd be in the lead for the baby race and that we needed to win? Because you already had plans for the marriage winnings?"
"No. I didn't." Was all he could manage through his burning throat. She was thinking the very thing he hoped she wouldn't.
"Ok. I believe you." She sighed out of relief, "I don't know what you did with the money but I'm sorry to tell you there's no guarantee that we'll see light of day of that baby bonus because Andrea is pregnant and she's only lagging behind us by two weeks according to her mother."
His shoulders grew tense with her latest announcement, the information at hand threw Rick, his brother was at it again, making sure they were neck and neck in this race.
He wasn't just gonna lose his wife, he could lose the race too. The money was no longer important to him anyway, all he cared about was Michonne.
"Is there anything else you wanna say to me?" He asked softly, returning to Milly, brushing the horse in slow, even strokes.
"No. But maybe you can tell me what happens to our deal? If this wasn't your plan all along, do you even want this baby?"
He turned to her, her accusation bruising him more than he let on, "You don't get to ask me that just because you're upset."
"I just don't know what I'm supposed to think. What do I do now that I can't pay my debt?"
"We paid off your student loan last week." It didn't bother him that he dipped into his savings for it.
"Rick…" She bent over taking a deep breath, lightheadedness plaguing her again. "That wasn't enough." she continued.
He wanted to go to her, take her in his arms and kiss her fears away but hurt and uncertainty in her motives planted him firmly in place.
"I didn't grow up like this Michonne. I don't want money to be a problem between us." He was speaking as though what they had was real.
She gathered herself with his sentence and straightened her back before she spoke, "Money probably has never been a problem for you Rick, but it's been a real problem for me. A problem that was supposed to have been solved with this marriage!" Gareth would find her somehow, there was too much delay and he was a thirsty shark laying in wait for his next feed. She didn't feel safe, knowing she was placing her baby and Rick's safety in jeopardy made all the hairs on her body stand tall.
She should let Rick know the real woman he married, risking the dissolution of their marriage because of her past.
Coupled with his skeletons, the weight of their secrets were hanging between them in the atmosphere like an anvil.
She couldn't be entirely angry at him knowing she was holding back truths of her own but the outcome of her situation relied heavily on their initial agreement. It was the whole purpose of her leaving her life behind to marry Rick. The saying was true, nothing haunted your thoughts like the things left unsaid.
If she confessed everything to him would he excoriate her?
She couldn't depend on fortuity, even if she wanted to suspend her belief for a moment and trust that things were going to work out just because she loved him.
Yes, she needed to admit to herself that she was in love with Rick Grimes. She didn't expect love to absolve her of her sins, she knew the sacrifices love sometimes expected.
"The truth is I don't have the money, at least not anymore." The least he could do was look her in her in the eyes when he spoke, but seeing the prettiest brown eyes staring back at him, wide eyed with disappointment broke something inside him.
"What did you….what did you do with it?" The truth cut her deeply, it was all a farce to him; everything they shared, everything they spoke about that felt so real to her; still her heart belonged to him because of this once in a lifetime feeling he had given her.
Rick took a steadying breath, somehow he found the strength to walk over to her although it took all of his will not to caress her soft cheek or hold her hand. He thought he would never find love but he'd been lucky, love found him; it was one hundred and twenty pounds of spunk, ridiculous puns, a caring heart and unparalleled beauty but the package Michonne presented didn't come with trust and it was something he didn't know if he could live with any longer.
"Because the same day I got it I give it away." Maybe the money was never his to begin with, maybe that's what his father wanted all along; for him to find his own way.
"Gareth showed up the same day I got the check." He saw her demeanor change, Gareth had created this fear in Michonne and if Rick ever saw the asshole again he'd give him a fist pounding he'd never forget.
Michonne was bolted by the revelation of Gareth's name leaving Rick's lips, she was too panicked to speak.
"He told me everything Michonne. I didn't want your brother's debt hanging like a noose around your neck any longer so I gave him the money. All of it. With a promise that he'd get off your back. I did it for you." Maybe he did it a little bit for himself too.
Now that the truth was out, no longer dancing between them he hoped she could see that his motives were pure and so was his heart.
Michonne battled for air, Gareth had been in Oakland, at Serenity? He came looking for her and found Rick instead. Her hands were trembling, her eyes burning with unshed tears, she felt so ashamed of herself for allowing Rick to find out this way. She should know there weren't any secrets that time didn't reveal. He had surrendered his money for her safety, bartering a balanced ledger for her clear conscience. Her heart contracted, then grew a size at the knowledge of it all. She didn't deserve him.
She worked through her consternation and met his wounded gaze unsure of what she could say to make him understand why she kept everything from him.
"Rick.."
"Michonne.."
Both their voices were desperate, as she was about to lay her battered heart out in front of him, Denise ran into the barn with a panic strickened face.
"Rick! You have to go to Sweethearts now!" She was red in the face and wringing her hands.
"What is it?" Rick said, his tone laced with aggravation at the interruption.
"It's your Mom! She collapsed!"
There wasn't any time to deliberate, Rick reached for her hand and she felt a sliver of hope with his gesture that they were still a unit.
They both rushed out of the barn at the news. Their unfinished conversation was put on a shelf to be picked back up as soon as they knew Georgia was okay.
