Ward
"Sam, give me a second, I can't remember so many barbecue sauce flavors," Freddie said through his phone, trying to find a pen and paper in his glove compartment as he sat in his parked car.
"It's only six!" Sam said on the other line. "Jeez, your memory has been going downhill ever since you hit forty, nub."
"Thanks," Freddie said, rolling his eye as he grabbed a pen. "Of course I'm the one who remembers to empty the trash every week…Okay, let's see, you want classic, tangy, sweet, smoked, hickory and what was the last one?"
"Mr. Meaty's Secret Recipe," Sam replied. "I have a feeling it's enriched with ham bits or something."
"Got it," Freddie said, scribbling it down. "I'll make sure I get them for you when I pick up the chicken."
"How long are you gonna be?" Sam asked
"Depends when Tyler's football practice finally lets out," Freddie said. "I thought I was supposed to pick him up at six. It's almost six-thirty!"
"Yeah, those practices always run late," Sam said. "I would always have to wait forever for Emma to finish up with her track ones."
"Well I guess I'll see you whenever I get home then," Freddie sighed. "Love you."
"Love you too."
Freddie hung up his phone and leaned back in his seat. He had been parked outside the high school for nearly half and hour and he was now wishing he had at least brought his Pearpad to entertain himself with.
Finally, though, he spotted his and Sam's fourteen-year old son coming towards the car.
"Hi dad," Tyler said, sliding into the passenger's seat.
"Hey, why'd practice run late?" Freddie asked.
"Coach made us run laps," Tyler replied. "He says we need to be in peak physical form for our big game next week."
"Ah," Freddie nodded. "Well we just need to stop by the chicken place to pick up dinner before we head home."
"Good, I'm starving," Tyler said.
Freddie chuckled to himself. All of his kids had certainly inherited Sam's appetite.
For a few moments, Freddie drove in silence. As he pulled into the parking lot of the chicken restaurant, though, he looked over at his son and noticed he was staring out the window, deep in thought.
"You okay, Ty?" Freddie asked.
"Oh, yeah," Tyler nodded.
"You sure?" Freddie frowned. "You know, you can talk to me. I'm your dad."
Tyler shrugged.
"Okay," Freddie sighed, deciding to drop the subject. "I guess we'll just-"
"Dad? When was the first time you asked a girl out?"
Freddie blinked. "Um…I-I'm not sure. When I was thirteen a girl asked me out, but she wasn't so much as interested in me as she was in trying to steal our web show. I guess the first girl I actually asked out was your mom. But, um, I guess she technically asked me out too. The first time, that is. She kissed me one night at school and then we dated and then we broke up. But the second time I asked her out."
"Oh," Tyler said.
"Wait…Tyler, do you want to ask a girl out?" Freddie questioned his son.
"Well, maybe," Tyler conceded. "See, there's this girl in my Algebra class. Her name is Kaley."
"And you like this Kaley?" Freddie grinned.
"I don't know," Tyler mumbled, his face reddening. "She's really pretty. And she laughs at my jokes a lot. And she has a really cute nose."
"Sounds like you like her," Freddie said.
Tyler didn't respond.
"I mean it's a normal thing, for you to start liking girls," Freddie continued. "You remember when we had that talk two years ago? About-"
"Ugh! Can we not?" Tyler cringed.
"Well Tyler, if you really like this girl, then you should ask her out," Freddie said.
"But I don't know how!" Tyler groaned.
"Come on," Freddie smiled. "It's not that hard."
"You only asked out one girl!" Tyler pointed out. "Mom."
"And I married her, didn't I?" Freddie said.
"So I have to marry Kaley?"
"No!" Freddie said quickly. "No, you don't have to marry anyone for a long time. But believe it or not, I know how to ask a girl out. I just fell in love with your mom and I never needed to ask out another girl."
"So then what do I do?" Tyler asked.
"Well have you ever talked to this girl before?"
"Yeah, all the time, I told you, we have Algebra together," Tyler nodded. "And Geography and English too."
"So then just go up to her and start talking to like you normally would," Freddie told him. "And then maybe, oh, I don't know, ask he if she wants to hang out with you one weekend to get ice cream or see a movie. Just the two of you."
"That doesn't seem so hard," Tyler said.
"Nah, the hardest part is getting the nerve to do it," Freddie replied. "It took me almost a month to ask your mom out after we broke up the first time."
"But what if Kaley says no?"
Freddie squeezed his son's shoulder. "Well then, you learn to move on. I'm not gonna lie, it's not fun to be turned down, but you'll never know what might happen unless you go for it."
"That's such a 'dad' answer," Tyler said, rolling his eyes.
"Sorry," Freddie said. "That's all I got."
…..
"Yes! I'm starving!" Sam said happily as Freddie and Tyler returned home with the chicken. "Did you get my barbecue sauce?"
"Yep, all six of them," Freddie said. "Who has the bad memory now?"
"Congratulations, nub," Sam smiled, giving her husband a quick kiss. "Now let's eat. Can you set the table, Tyler?"
"In a minute!" Tyler called over his shoulder as he ran upstairs.
"Where's he going?" Sam frowned.
"Oh I don't, know, maybe to call someone," Freddie beamed.
"What?"
"Oh, nothing," Freddie said.
"Dude…" Sam sighed.
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you," Freddie said. "It's actually pretty cute…our little guy's growing up."
"Can you get on with it?" Sam snapped.
"Tyler has a crush," Freddie whispered. "On a girl named Kaley."
Sam gasped. "What?"
"Yeah, me and him had a nice little father-son chat," Freddie nodded. "He told me about how he likes her a lot and that he wants to ask her out. Like on a date."
"Oh my God…" Sam grinned. "That's so sweet!"
"I know," Freddie agreed.
"So what'd you tell him to do?" Sam asked.
"Oh, I told him to ask her to do something just the two of them," Freddie replied. "You know, like get ice cream or something."
"Wait…" Sam said, her smile faltering. "You told him to ask her out then?"
"Well…yeah," Freddie nodded.
"Dude!" Sam hissed, swatting him on the shoulder. "Not cool!"
"Ow! What did I do?"
"You're letting Tyler date!"
"He's fourteen, I thought that was the age we agreed to let the kids start dating," Freddie pointed out. "I tried to move it up to thirty when the twins wanted to date but you told me I was being unreasonable."
"But Tyler's my last kid, you can't make him grow up this quick!" Sam snapped.
"Well Sam, you can't just not let him grow up," Freddie said, amused.
"Watch me," Sam said.
"He's fourteen, it's probably gonna be three or four dates before he even works up enough courage to hold a girl's hand," Freddie said. "He's not gonna go elope or anything."
Sam didn't reply.
"Hey, he's just growing up, not leaving you," Freddie told her, wrapping his arms around her.
"I know," Sam sighed. "It's just…it seems like yesterday he was trying to make some special shampoo to ward off cooties. Now he's going off and dating girls. I mean, it was sad when Jason started getting interested in girls and when the twins started dating, but I kept telling myself at least I had Tyler left. And now he's going off…"
"You can always have another kid," Freddie joked.
"Funny," Sam smirked. "If we have another kid, you're carrying it for the nine months."
….
"Where's dad?" Tyler yelled, running into the house the next day after school. "Is he home?"
"He's at work still," Sam said, looking up from the laundry she was folding. "What's up?"
"I asked out a girl!" Tyler said proudly.
"Oh, Kaley?" Sam asked.
"How'd you know her name?" Tyler frowned.
"Your dad's not exactly good at keeping secrets," Sam smiled. "But come, sit, tell me. So you asked her out? What'd she say?"
"She said yes!" Tyler grinned.
"Wow, congratulations, Ty," Sam said, trying to hide her sadness about the fact that it looked like her baby was officially growing up. "So where are you two gonna go?"
"The movies," Tyler replied. "We're gonna go on Saturday. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, that's fine," Sam nodded. "Do you need a ride?"
"I was gonna ask dad to drive us," Tyler said. "I can't wait to tell him! Oh, I have to call Kirby and Huey and tell them!"
Sam watched as her youngest child ran upstairs and let out a long sigh.
Yup, he really was growing up. Whether she liked it or not.
….
"Make sure he has money," Sam said to Freddie on the Saturday of Tyler's date. "And make sure he doesn't see anything rated R. And make sure-"
"Sam, relax, it'll be fine," Freddie assured her.
"Alright, let's go, I told Kaley we'd pick her up at six, dad," Tyler said, running downstairs wearing a new button down shirt and jeans.
"Whoa, did you empty an entire bottle of cologne on yourself?" Sam coughed.
"Dad told me to borrow some of his!" Tyler said.
"I said to use a couple of sprays," Freddie said. "Go try and wash some of that off before we go. You don't want to give Kaley an Asthma attack."
"Poor kid, he really has no clue what he's doing," Sam chuckled. She turned to Freddie. "Hey…take a picture of them, will you?"
"Why?" Freddie asked.
"I want to see the girl!" Sam said. "I at least get to know who he's dating, don't I?"
"I'll try to sneak a pic," Freddie smiled.
"And remember, the movie's supposed to end at eight thirty so pick them up on time," Sam told him. "And-And make sure his shoes are tied before he gets out of the car. I swear, that kid must have a gift for getting his laces untied. I don't want him to trip or something tonight. That would devastate him…"
Freddie looked at his wife and noticed that she looked almost like she did when they sent Jason and the twins off to college.
Tyler really was their last kid. And as tough of a front as Sam still liked to put up, Freddie knew that when the time came when Tyler really would grow up completely, she would be a mess.
"Okay, I scrubbed off the cologne," Tyler said, returning downstairs. "Can I go now?"
"Well I'm not about to gag on the scent, so I think you're good," Freddie told him.
"Have fun, okay sweetie?" Sam smiled.
"I will," Tyler said. "Come on dad, we have to go get Kaley!"
"Okay," Freddie said. "Let's-Oh no."
"What?" Tyler frowned as Freddie looked down at his phone.
"I just got a text from my boss," Freddie said. "I have to run into work for a couple hours. Now."
"But you have to take me and Kaley to the movies!" Tyler moaned.
"Well your mom can take you, right Sam?" Freddie pointed out.
"Um, yeah, I'm not doing anything," Sam nodded.
"Well then come on, mom, let's go. I can't be late!" Tyler said.
"Tell me everything tonight," Freddie said to Tyler.
"I will!"
"Why's your boss calling you in on a Saturday?" Sam asked Freddie. "That's kind of jerky of him."
"Yeah, well, that's what bosses do," Freddie shrugged.
…..
"I love dating girls!" Tyler announced a couple hours later as him and Sam walked back into the house.
"So you had fun then?" Freddie grinned, turning off the T.V.
"Oh yeah," Tyler grinned. "You know, dad, I thought dating was gonna be hard, the way you talked about it, but I'm so good at it!"
"You-You weren't nervous?" Freddie frowned.
"No way! Get this, when I walked her up to her house from mom's car, I even got to kiss her!" Tyler said. "On the lips! For three whole seconds."
"Oh…" Freddie said. "Well, um, glad you had a good time."
"Look what you created," Sam said, sitting down next to Freddie as Tyler ran upstairs.
"Well what kid isn't awkward and weird during his first date?" Freddie defended. "I didn't know he'd be so good at this!"
"Wonder where he got it from," Sam said. "Neither of us had too much experience when we were his age."
"Who knows," Freddie shrugged.
"So," Sam said. "How was work?"
"Huh?" Freddie said, confused. "What do you-Oh, yeah, work. Yeah, that was…pleasant."
"Cut the act, Fredwad, I know you made up that whole text message thing," Sam said.
"You-You do?"
"Yeah," Sam smiled. "You lied so I could take Tyler on his first date."
"Well, I-I took Jason on his," Freddie pointed out. "And Emma. I was ahead two to one."
Sam rolled her eyes, leaning over to kiss him.
"Thanks," she whispered. "I needed that."
