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Chapter 3


"Seth?" Jude pushed herself off the ground.

It had to be Seth. He looked so much like Harry, except exuding an air of hopeful attention, softer around the face, and so youthful it hurt her to see the man's chin he was growing into. Judith could not imagine how much he had grown in the past three years. The childlike face of the eleven-year old boy had been carved into a young man.

"Jude, what are you doing here," she could see the apprehension of this confrontation on Seth's face. It made her feel even more guilty. Seth was still pure in his love, and still incredibly innocent to her awful exchange with their parents, because unlike her other family members he was the only one that she didn't leave on bad terms with. He had been her kid brother, God, he still was, and she had enjoyed her last days with him.

He repeated her name, as if he never expected to say it again, "Jude?" As if she was a ghost.

She might as well be, "Hey Seth."

He must have been so confused when she left.

Seth let her have a moment to analyze him, and for once she was glad. This Seth is very much like the eleven-year old she remembered, even with the three years of change between them. Jude wanted so badly to just hug him. He had even grown into his lanky frame, she admired how his muscles were forming on his bare russet arms, and he wore bigger shoes that didn't look so goofy.

"Hey Seth," she waved at him and gave him a big smile, "you grew up."

He looked even more lost for words.

Great, now she broke him.

She waited for him to act, not expecting anything vulgar. Jude knew his heart was so too good to even bring up what happened, and besides... he was just a lovable snot-nosed kid when she left. He probably didn't remember much of it anyway. He had been in his room, playing games when she left for the last time, and unlike Leah, he had not seen the terrible fight. Probably heard it, but she did not believe he actually saw the way she completely disrespected their mother, and Harry's violent reaction to it.

"What are you… Is that really you Jude?" She looked down at her muddy clothes, dirty nails, too long hair, and hoped that she was, or else it was going to be impossible to make amends.

"I am so sorry Seth," she told him, letting herself feel it, "I should have called. Three years is too long I know, there is no excuse, never should had run away like that. It was stupid and selfish. I know that now, and it was wrong of me, please. I want-" she held herself. This was not about her. Not everything was about her, and coming back was her chance at making this right. How many times had she told herself? This was about her family, not her.

"Yeah, I know," he took over her silence, "Leah is going to be here after work," Seth told her quickly, his eyes worried, "You should leave before they see you," Judith nodded understanding, even good-hearted Seth didn't want to see her. She could understand, and she could forgive.

"I understand."

"No you don't," he told her, ducking under her arms and hugging her like a bear, "I have missed you Jude."

Jude's soggy body froze.

She couldn't breathe.

She couldn't think.

This was the best hug she had ever been given. He was so big, so grownup, and she hugged him back, because she had never wanted for it to end. She had been searching for so long, and what she wanted was here all along. It was so hard to come back, but now it would be even harder to leave.

"Thank you," she watery whispered to him, and grew confident, sniffing back the tears, "I love you Seth. I want to make things better."

"I know," he said, but his face didn't look convinced.

It was just the type of motivation Jude needed to prove him right, to see him look at her like he used to, with respect, with trust in his cute brotherly way. She was selfish and hugged him again, and her body radiated joy when he let her do so. They stood on the gravel before the stairs, waiting.

Jude looked at the new cars and the grown Seth, "Do you drive?"

"Yeah," Seth fiddled with his hands, "but not legally," he blushed, "I take the keys when they are at work."

That warmed her heart, "I did that too when I was your age," Jude confessed, "Dad shouldn't be too upset about it."

"Yeah right, I haven't seen Dad angry in a long time," Seth laughed, and if she was happy before, nothing was as comfortable as hearing that, "Dad hasn't been angry, not since..."

Seth didn't say anything after that. Jude knew he didn't have to. Their father had not been furious, not since she was living in La Push, and underneath this house's roof. She looked behind them to the still closed front door and stared at it for a long time. There was something special about a first home. After a person left; Jude knew now, it was always a comparison of the two. At my house, at my old house we had a bigger living room, bigger fireplace, more windows, larger rooms, and... Jude would always compare the company. Nothing was like waking up to your mother's cooking and a pillow in the face from Leah after not getting up. Jude had it good. She just had to move to see it. She had to lose it, to appreciate it.

Jude dreaded it now, "How is Mom?"

Seth perked up, "Good, she is okay," he said lamely. Jude wanted to know more, but didn't push him.

"Leah? She is working?"

"Yeah, she is good as she can be," his word's did nothing to tame her wild thoughts about her sister. Jude guessed they were not supposed to. Seth didn't look peaceful when he asked about Leah, and knew that her less than pleasant situation didn't feel right to him either.

Out of the blue Seth asked, "Do you have a place to stay?" It was nice for someone to care. "I mean are you staying with someone? Did you go with any of the other families. Do Mom and Dad know you are here? " he finally asked as they sat calmly on the porch, the one they relaxed on during barbeque's, birthday parties, hell even when they were kids they had chalked it up like little artists in the makings.

Jude sighed, Seth was a good listener, good at talking, maybe a little too good, "No Seth, they don't know I am here."

He flipped his phone open, "okay then," he was not discouraged in the slightest bit, "I think I know a few people that have some places to crash, or if you want to rent. Everyone knows everybody," Jude knew that was true, "I could help pull some strings."

"I remember." Jude remembered many things.

That was not her problem, remembering, it was living with those memories that kept her up at night.

Seth began listing a few people. Some familiar, others not.

She didn't want him to work too hard.

"Seth, don't worry, I got it, I got myself a place," she told him, and effectively surprising him to end his listing of benefactors, down to earth people, and people she would never ask in a million years to help her.

"Where?"

"In La Push, obviously," Jude chewed the word, the least he knew the better. It was better that he thought she was on her two feet instead of limping to find safety.

"Okay, In La Push," he teased her, "I thought you said you would never settle down here?"

She had said that once, however stupid it had been to say it, "I had to grow up," Jude said, feeling older than her twenty-year old self, she turned the questions back on him, "what about you? What grade are you in now? What do you love?" She had already missed so much.

"I am a Freshman," he said proudly, "I have straight B's," and she laughed along with him, "joined the football team, play D-line. The guys are great, no hazing yet," and she couldn't help but smile, "Me, Brady, and Collin have made a club. It is kind of stupid so don't laugh okay. We work around the school, doing services, fundraisers, so stupid," he blushed, "one time we did a muscle contest," he blushed harder, "I obviously lost, but all the money we get goes to the Forks' soup kitchens. Mom helps us by organizing the money and stuff," he said opening himself to her, like he used to.

"How is that stupid? That is awesome. I would love to help," She saw his face light up, "I am so proud of you Seth. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders."

"He was raised the right way," said someone that had crept up on them.

Jude felt her insides coil, and looked up at a beautiful young woman.

The young woman had long silky raven hair which touched her hips. It made a glossy curtain around her supple body, and slanted light brown eyes that matched Seth's but were in no way kind to hers like his had been. She was wearing a uniform that Jude didn't recognize, and in her hands was a hat that read in bold cursive, "Sally's", probably a store in Forks, Jude thought. The woman put the cap back on and stared her down, and Jude knew that could be only one person.

Jude frowned, "Leah."

"Judith," she said just as coldly.

Out of all the people, she had been closest, among all the people she had left behind, it had been her little sister Leah that she worried most about. The drawn out lethal conversations that would come of what happened the last day, the day she left them without a word of where or why she had gone.

"Leah," Jude said her name again, gathering her bearings, "it has been too long," Leah rolled her eyes, the first sign she had been paying attention for, "I am sorry for not calling, telling you goodbye," Judith repeated, the words tasted like soap; clean and disgusting. She was ready for her to blow-up, she deserved it, wanted it, but Leah was still calm, well at least for Leah, "it is something I will never be proud of, but I am back now, I want to make things right. I want to come back."

"For how long," Leah said bitterly, "how long before you get bored and leave?"

"I won't."

"Oh yeah," Leah's voice became louder, "you are a selfish bitch you know that Jude," that word cut worse than it had before, "selfish for leaving, and deserting our family. No one is going to forgive you," her eyes became watery, "Leave now if you want to make things right, you are making a fool of yourself by coming here." She sounded so much like Harry when he was angry. She was known for her verbal lashings, but never had Judith been on the receiving end like this.

This Leah was murderous, like a bomb ready to explode in the middle of a shopping center. This Leah, was not the old Leah. What the hell have I done, Judith thought, what the hell was I doing back?

"I made a mistake," Judith admitted, feeling it more now, "I came to say that I am not that person anymore. I have changed."

"I don't care if you grew another heart while you were gone," she told her, Leah's face became aggravated, her eyebrows lifting slightly, "you are still the same person in my eyes. Doesn't matter how long you stayed away. You never cared enough to contact us in person, or at least over the phone. That is what strangers do, not family, and I am happy that you are here. I finally can tell you how I felt when you left."

"Yes," Judith took a long sigh, "tell me," this was what she had been preparing for.

Leah came up to her, her arms trembling, and she looked mean enough to punch her in the face. Judith would let her, even if it would hurt her, but only one punch. Jude still had her pride to contend with. She never let anyone disrespect her like that, but Leah needed this. Jude didn't want to be selfish anymore.

"You are not my sister," Leah sent the message loud and clear, "You are dead to me." It was childish retort, but that didn't make it hurt any less, because Leah meant it.

Leah walked past them, up to the front door, jammed her key in, and slammed the door behind her.

Seth whistled, breaking the awkward silence, "Well that went well."

"Yeah," Jude said, the emptiness was still there, there was no forgiveness to be had from Leah. It would take a long long time, "I expected at least a few punches. I heard she was doing worse after Sam, but I had no idea." She had so many people let her down. Jude was just another backstabber to her.

"This is Leah on a good day," Seth was trying.

It made it worse, "this sucks," Jude wiped away a tear. She promised she wouldn't cry, "I'm sorry, I am going to get going."

"Do you need a ride, I can go-"

"No," Jude interrupted him, "no thanks, I know the way."

Seth nodded.

Jude cleared her throat and said, "Well, Seth, I will catch you around little bro."

Before she left he said, "I will tell mom that you are here, and that you are sticking around," he was far too kind. Judith wondered if it would make a difference.

"Sure, don't get into trouble Seth."

That would never happen. Not with having two older sisters that would munch on his head if he ever wanted to. Jude pulled her sweater tighter around her neck. Seth watched her as she walked away, heading off to her new home, with her bag under one arm, and her heart in her mouth.