Dean sat stunned; he didn't think he'd ever seen that much raw emotion on his own face, well, ever. He didn't even know he had the capacity to feel that way about anyone, let alone Cas.
"Yeah." he choked out.
They sat and stared at each other until Cas-two reappeared. "You two playing nice?"
"Yeah, just explaining to Dean here about how we work as a team, none of that lone ranger shit I know he's prone too." He stood and wrapped his arm around his angel's waist before nuzzling his neck.
"You were threatening him weren't you?"
"Would I do that?" He smiled softly into Cas-two's jaw. The move was tender, intimate and sexy as hell.
"You doing okay there Dean? You're looking a little...tense." D2 said. He made 'tense' sound more than it was, almost erotic.
He watched his counterpart slide his hand up Cas-two's face turning his mouth to his own. The kiss was a caress of lips. Cas-two's face went slack as his husband took the bottom lip between his own.
Dean's brow rose as they fell deeper, he wanted to look away, really he did. As the hunter grabbed Cas-two's butt, his whole body ignited. He let out a breathless moan, it's was barely audible but it scared him. Stupid itchy universe.
D2 turned as the kiss came to its natural end, a satisfied smile played on his lips.
"See babe, I told you, he feels it." The smirk was all flirt and a touch of evil.
"That was, mean," Cas-two replied, breathless.
"You didn't like it my little honey bee?"
Dean coughed, uncomfortable at the weird pet names.
D2 laughed again, a deep chuckle that was full of mirth. Cas-two rolled his eyes. Dean wasn't sure if the nickname was a serious thing or just to make him uncomfortable, maybe both?
"I love you Dean but you're evil." he laughed, getting his breath back then shuffled as if to get comfortable.
Dean wasn't looking at the Angel's crotch, nope.
"Can we go now?" Dean asked, impatient at the delay.
The couple pulled away from each other, D2 grabbed his kit then headed to the door. Cas-two told them the rough direction they were to head in and then vanished.
"You let him go alone?" Confused after the speech he'd had to endure. Dean was trying to understand the dynamic.
"He can handle himself; he'll meet us on the road."
"Why doesn't he just zap us?"
"Things can go wrong, so we always take the car."
"Sam coming?"
"Yeah Cas called him, he's bringing Bobby and they'll meet us there."
Dean thought it was nice to have so much backup, even if it was like being in a Schwarzenegger style clone movie.
They made their way outside. Dean held back and watched them walk together. Shaking his head didn't help him feel any less confused.
"Nice car," Dean said when he got into the Impala.
"Sam said you called the colour, what was it? Oh yeah. Gay?" D2 glared.
"Yeah, sorry about that…" he was verbally backed into a corner. "Not that I was saying anything about, that, or anything…"
"Dude you need to relax. So me and Cas are a thing, you don't need to be so weird about it."
"Dude, how can I not be weird about it."
Dean tried to hide in the passenger seat, already regretting this conversation.
"So we are going to do this? Okay. I'm down" D2 huffed out.
"Do what?"
"Where you ask me how I can fuck a guy. Then I explain my life choices, but only because it's you."
The silence that followed was awkward, strained.
"I feel privileged" Sarcasm rolled from Dean as he found his brave side. "You wanna do that?"
"No, but I'm going to." he sighed, exasperated.
Dean glanced at his doppelganger and took a deep breath. "Dude, I see that he's great and a good looking guy, I'm blind. I get it; honestly... don't get me wrong but…
"But there's a line, right?" D2 interrupted, "That's what you tell yourself? You don't like men? You don't think about him that way" he went on, "Any of this feeling familiar?"
"Yeah, pretty much," Dean replied, not seeing the problem.
"News flash, you're lying to yourself."
Dean glared at him as D2 drove. The rain had stopped and the sun was cracking through the clouds.
"I saw you watching us and dude, you were right there with me. I saw it. "
Dean stayed silent.
"Nothing huh? You're not even going to comment." D2 prodded, "You stood and watched for three whole minutes, Dean. Yeah, it could have been the shock but you were glued. I saw it in your eyes."
"I…" Dean tried for words but they evaded him. So D2 carried on the conversation alone.
"...and also I'm in love with Cas, it doesn't matter if he's currently a guy."
"What? Cas is a guy..." Confusion filled Dean's tone as he emphasised the 'is'.
"No, Cas is inside Novak's body. Cas is an Angel." The hunter explained, "Jeez was I ever this dense?"
Dean was about to throw a sarcastic comment back when a whoosh of air preceded Cas-two's arrival.
"Yes, you were." he grinned, "We need to get to the old warehouse at the end of town, they have Cas and Jack. He informed them, "They're confused by the Nephilim but that won't stop them for long. Anna has been monitoring the situation but could only get word to me now"
"How did they even get him?" D2 asked.
"Jack wasn't at full mojo" Dean replied, "It got stolen."
Cas-two looked horrified…"Who would do that?"
"Lucifer?"
"Ah okay."
"Dick move," D2 added. Dean nodded in agreement.
Cas leaned over from the back and kissed his Dean on the cheek, "I better get back and watch them."
His husband nodded, added "Be careful." and he was gone again.
"What?" D2 asked.
"He always looks so weird in regular people clothes…"
D2 laughed, "Yeah it took a while to get too used to it, and he mostly just wears mine."
Dean could feel an expression on his face but wasn't sure what it was. He'd figured that they were his clothes yesterday but it freaked him out that he was right.
They turned a corner, the world opened up to endless fields. Apparently, they were ignoring the previous conversation.
"He washes them, so figure he should get to wear them right?"
Dean stared at him.
"Dude, you're so repressed." D2 laughed glancing at his double.
Dean shrugged, not sure how to reply and so he stuck to admiring the view.
They enjoyed the scenery a while and Dean mulled things over. Yet again curiosity got the best of him. He considered his question and then thought, well no one will know right? "How did you know?" he whispered, freaked out.
His double glanced at him for a second, assessing how to answer, "You already know Dean. I know that you know, and that's what scares you. You know it right now. He just fits, he fits me; us."
Dean nodded, not sure he got it but maybe he wasn't the same as this Dean. He didn't know. At least he didn't think he knew. His brain hurt.
"You're confused…" D2 observed and Dean shrugged.
"It's like this, I worry about him but not like I worry about Sammy or Mom. If shit hits the fan Cas can leave Novak and find another Vessel. Cas is light, he's almost indestructible."
Sam had said the same thing, Cas was pretty indestructible and he could see the appeal.
"He's good and kind. He does his best, you know?" The alternate paused taking a breath.
"He only sees me. Which I know seems selfish but I've always felt like he really sees me, more than anyone else. He always comes after me, whatever we're dealing with and I know I could be on another planet and he would come and find me."
"Yeah, he would." The confirmation slipped from Dean's lips before he could stop it. "But, he has, you know...he's not a girl."
D2 laughed, it was deep and rough. "Yeah freaked me out at first, but I realised that actually, the issues were all in my head."
Dean stared at him then laughed, "You sound like you went to therapy."
D2 shrugged, "Kinda, whatever works right?"
Dean coughed, his eyes wide, "Are you serious?"
D2 nodded. "I had too. I had to tell someone, to let it out. I was going insane. It was a mess in here." He pressed his finger to his temple, "And here," then to his chest. He sighed, "Sam was going nuts with it. I was out with any woman that would have me. Cas had moved out because he'd declared his undying fucking love and he couldn't deal with my shit. Everyone was bitching at me to go fix myself."
The pained expression on D2's face made Dean wince.
"And you listened?"
"The first sixty times? No." he laughed.
"What changed?"
D2 flashed back into the memory as he recounted it.
He was in the grungy bar near the local motel and had been hiding there every night. The bartender was tall, slim and pretty. She always served him and then brushed him off but tonight she engaged him. She took one look at him and asked, 'Who broke your heart hun?' Dean winced as he sipped his whiskey. For the first time, the truth passed his lips, "Me."
"Guy or girl?" Dean's eyes went wide at the question.
"Do I look gay?" he rebutted with his patented smirk.
"No, but does anyone?" the bartender smirked back. "Can I guess?" she asked and Dean nodded.
"The guy in the trench that checks on you sometimes." she glanced at him and watched his jaw drop, "How did you?..."
She smiled and it was soft, full of care. "Oh sugar, I've been doing this a long time. I'm older then I look and I can spot a couple a mile away." Grabbing a glass to polish she introduced herself, "I'm Cham." She pronounced it Cam with a silent 'h'.
Dean baulked, "I'm Dean...and we're not-"
Cham held up her hand, "Yeah you are. The way he looks at you, it's like you're his light in the dark. You know he's always so nice to the girls you take home too, like a brother. He doesn't get jealous or anything just watches you take them home with big sad eyes."
Dean took another swig of his whiskey, he was starting to shake.
"...and you. When you smile at him; it's so different from how you smile at the girls. It's genuine. It's real. That's why I avoided you, I figured you were trying to upset him or something and that's a dick move because he's nice. Then I realised last night that you were in the closet, like Narnia, deep in the forest, style."
"How?" Dean asked as he choked on his whiskey.
"He came in here and asked about you." She said and it was so casual it took Dean a second to register.
"Cas was here?"
"See, can't you hear that? The hope in your voice, Jesus, it's almost painful."
Dean turned away, nursed his drink and felt like crap.
"Yeah, he came, asked how you were. I said the usual and he looked so fucking sad, it damn near broke my heart."
Dean glanced at her as she continued, "He stayed and we chatted. He loves you, in like the epic romance kinda way." her laugh was dry, "He's strange but I got him. So I figured it was my civic duty to try and help."
"Help how?" Dean's eyes narrowed.
"I watch a lot of Oprah and I've seen this episode, so here goes. Close your eyes." She laughed again as Dean looked at her like she was joking.
"Seriously?" and Cham nodded, "Yes jack-ass seriously."
"Fine." Dean begrudgingly obeyed.
"Now imagine your guy." and he wanted to object but decided it was stupid.
"Now feel it all. All the little things that make you smile."
Dean did and it was like hammering his soul with shotgun rounds.
"Now imagine he's gone, forever."
Something inside Dean broke and he hissed. "Shit."
He looked at her with wide eyes, "Listen, sometimes the physical stuff stops us knowing where our hearts lie but if you're who this Cas says you are... The way he speaks about you, well, you're adaptable. Human's are so good at adapting if they only let themselves. All these hang-ups you have are what stops you from being happy and why? Because he has different parts or because you're scared of what people will think about you?" she sighed, "You're both miserable and I bet fucking the entire bar isn't making you feel better is it?"
Dean shook his head, really it wasn't
"But when I said his name?" She beamed, "You lit up. Like a weight had been lifted." Draping her arms over the beer taps she added, "Don't try to do it all at once, just take each day as it comes but at least realise that how you feel is okay. He loves you…"
Dean stared at her for a long-ass minute and then took a shuddering breath.
"It's too hard…"
"Cas? Was it?" Cham asked.
Dean nodded.
"He makes out that you're some sort of warrior." She narrows her eyes, "Like a soldier?"
Dean nodded.
"You don't scare easy, I can tell. So stop letting fear make you her bitch.
Dean glared, "I'm not…"
"-No, I know. You're not a coward." She sighed, "so stop letting fear rule you."
They glared at each other for several long seconds. Then Dean broke and downed the rest of his drink. Slamming the glass got him a scowl but then Cham smiled as he met her gaze.
She took his hand which was resting on the bar and he flinched. "Just try it on, just say it out loud. Baby steps, you know?"
Dean clenched his fists as she moved away, he could feel tears rising as he fought himself for some sliver of courage. Showing all of the objections down and swallowing hard he formed the sentence that had changed his life, "Fuck…" he whispered, "I think I'm in love with Cas."
D2 wrapped up the tale as an engrossed Dean gawked from the passenger seat.
"Listen, you don't have to admit you're in love with him...but at least realise that what you have is more than friends. Start trying to see him outside of that box because dude, I'm so much happier with him it's unreal."
Dean glanced at his double who had returned to driving; silence filled the car and lasted the rest of the way. Thankfully, it was only a few minutes because he needed out, his brain was pounding from all the information. He'd not discussed anything this deep in almost ever and wanted something to take the edge off. Hopefully, he'd get to kill something soon.
They arrived moments later. The warehouse was like any of the ten million that they'd been dragged too over the years. This one had originally been an electrical storage place or something due to all the old style T.V's outside. It was small, only one story and the grey paint was almost all peeled off.
The Cas-two appeared as they got out of the car.
"What have you been talking about?" he said immediately then walked over to D2 and wrapping him a full body hug. The guy hadn't even said anything...what the hell?
"You," D2 replied smiling, it was soft and full of love. They pulled apart but only a little.
Cas-two's hands were at the base of Dean's skull, cupping his head while his eyes searched the taller man's. D2 arms around Cas-two's waist.
"You're…" Cas asked.
"Yeah…" D2 replied.
They both smiled and Dean had no idea what was happening. Cas-two was back to business as he stepped away. "There are three of them inside; Raziel is leading the interrogation, not Uriel like I thought"
"I'm sorry what?" Dean scowled at him; the word 'interrogation' was not one he responded well to. "That's it I'm going in."
"Whoa, hold on Skippy." His counterpart said grabbing his shoulder. They had a staredown.
"You can't expect me to stand here and…"
"What? Wait until we have the layout? How about you, I don't know... don't get us killed?" D2 dragged him backwards.
Brushing his shirt of imaginary dust he retorted, "Don't touch me." then added, "Fine Clone Wars, what's the plan? But make it quick because I'm going in now."
"Babe, can you free the other, er you and their friend while we do the distraction bit?" His double instructed then paused before adding, "That should give us enough juice to kill them all if we have to, but we'll try talking first. Raziel is way up there on the crazy scale and I wanna see if we can keep it civil. They haven't hurt them yet?"
"No, they have been keeping it verbal, except..."
The response from Cas-two got Dean's attention he didn't like the implication, "Except?"
"...They're siphoning Jack's grace, to keep him subdued. That's the pain your Castiel felt." Cas sighed, "It's barbaric..."
"I'm going to kill them all…" Dean growled and felt sick. Jack had just got back to near normal and now these butt-monkeys were doing what Lucifer did. Fuck, the kid couldn't get a break.
"It's not hurting him at the moment. Anna really is keeping them under control. Which is interesting because she's in heaven, she must have some influence over Raziel that I was unaware of."
"This universe gets wackier every second" he pondered. Then he asked; "Raziel's a new one on me, what kind of crazy are we talking?"
His double considered for a second and then replied. "He's somewhere between Lucifer and Uriel but with a tighter leash. Well most days and has less power."
Awesome, Dean thought. This day keeps getting better and better.
"He likes to talk though, so that should keep him busy for a while," D2 added.
"Please don't antagonise him too much," Castiel asked, his expression exasperated.
"Babe, he's insane and he hurt you and I'm not letting that stand, ever," D2 growled the word hurt and Dean knew that tone. That was the tone that held the promise of vengeance and pain.
"You'll just make it worse…" Cas-two started, "I know you like to defend my honour Dean but I don't want you to get hurt." The angel wrapped his hand in his husbands.
"Like you did?" He replied scowling.
Dean was becoming impatient, "Err, can you two have a domestic later?"
They ignored him but Cas changed the subject and explained the layout.
With that done, they loaded their guns and strapped on angel blades.
"You got a problem?" D2 asked.
"Nope, it's your rodeo. Let's just get in there"
"Let's go then."
Dean smiled, finally he thought; something normal.
