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Chapter 5
Haunted houses no longer scared Jude, there were too many real things to be afraid of now.
She trembled as she called the New Mexico number, speaking the moment someone picked up, "How is he?"
"Oh hello Jude, good morning to you too," there was humor in her voice, "he's still sleeping, it's the weekend, we have him sleep in on the weekends," was Susan's tired answer, she was an hour ahead of Jude's 0600 am here in Washington, and as the neurotic version Jude had become on the plane ride over, she wondered why the usual early birds were still in bed, and not making some breakfast for him?
It sounded a little too suspicious for the first night away from Jordan, he never slept in, jumping on her chest to wake up, she had missed him doing that today, but it was only one night, she reminded herself, the first night, and it felt like ages away from him, so Jude had to know, "Did he sleep well last night?"
Susan grumbled, "After midnight we got him to doze off, he tries to fight it," she heard someone mumble behind Susan's voice, it must have been Peter, "oh, he is fine Jude, you don't have to worry honey, okay? We have everything fine here, how is everything with you? Have you met with your parents, your sister, or brother?"
"No, just Seth," Jude bit her lip at the bittersweet memory of Leah, her unwavering drive to never give in, she missed that the most about her, and Seth, if her brother was any sweeter, all of her teeth would be rotten by breakfast, "not yet guys. No, it's going to take more time than I first thought to have these conversations. I don't think anyone's going to want to talk to me right now."
There was more mumbling behind Sue's voice, "Peter wants to know if you found a place to stay?"
"Yes, I found a place in La Push," Jude filled them in on everything that happened the day before, the layout of Mark's Mart, the first floor being the buisness, and the second that contained three rooms for storage, and one room (haunted room) was the one she would be sleeping in. She focused on the homey feeling she felt from the kitchen...only the kitchen, embellishing Billy's hospitality and Old Quil's generosity to let her stay in a room almost free of charge.
Her words made them excited, "That's great dear. Good job, I knew you had it in you."
The silence over the phone only grew as Jude thought what else to ask, she held the phone closer to her cheek, feeling it imprint into her skin, "well, thank you for answering, and can you call me when he wakes up?" What else could she ask for without sounding too crazy?
Susan was a saint for understanding, "Sure dear, have a good first day," she needed that encouragement, and still Jude sighed on the toilet seat, breathing deeply.
"Thank you Susan."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Jude flushed her toilet, getting herself ready in the broom closet shower and restroom, wiping the fogged up mirror. She raised up the sound on her portable radio and got lost in it.
With a practiced hand she eye-lined her slanted grey eyes, put product for her pin-straight hair, and fixed herself into a warm aqua cotton neck-high sweater, shoved her legs into cotton boot fitted Levi's, and put on thick rain boots that she had bought from her shopping in the Downtown last night. The rain boots dark blue swirling designs reminded her of rain clouds, and the howling wolf on each side seemed perfect for walking to the downtown area for lunch.
She announced, gathering her courage, "Let's get ready ladies and gentleman," Jude hopped quickly down the stairs, if she was not in the restroom, she was usually in the well-lighted kitchen, the bed and the room was only for sleeping... if sleeping meant tossing and turning, and shivering in the meager blankets Aunt Joy had supplied her with yesterday. Jude would have to buy more today, heavier ones, ones she could cover her head with.
Jude opened Mark's Mart at seven in the morning, just as Quil had told her to do.
Even if the convenience store was the only one to do so, she did it all the same, no grumble, no hint of anger, this was buisness, and she would do her best to keep it that way.
She reminded herself that later on today she would have to take stock of the products as Quil had instructed her to do, she already swept up and down the aisles the night before when she was having a hard time sleeping, making them look ten times cleaner, and now she stood ready at her post. Ready at the counter, bathed, dressed, and fresh for the day, even when no one came in, no one was coming? Ten. Fifteen minutes. An hour passed by her. Jude's mind became her worst enemy, they knew she was here, the Clearwater traitor, she would bring Old Quil's business down, no one would give her a chance again, they would never trust a traitor to her own family,"calm down Jude," she told herself, "you are overthinking things."
Jude distracted herself by noticing all the discreet mirrors Mr. Marks Creek had put in the corners of the room, perhaps to spy on customers that came into the store, trying to steal him blind. Poor old guy. Poor dead old guy. Poor dead old guy that may or not be haunting his room... geez. Jude needed a life.
That was when Jude heard her first jingle of the front glass doors.
"Welcome, how may I help you- Aunt Joy?"
"Hi honey," it was Aunt Joy, dressed in scrubs, her hair pulled back to show off her RN badge, a pair of flashy tennis shoes was the only sound as she walked swiftly over, "I brought you a little something," she did more than that, it was two pumpkin bagels and a tall deliciously warm coffee that wafted under her nose, tempting, it was like nectar of the Gods, come down to rejuvenate Jude's dour mood.
Except, a part of herself knew wouldn't be right to take it, Jude had no money to spare, "I can't take it."
"Oh honey please it is the least I can do," so she did, "I have to go, but don't worry, I put my phone number on there, just in case you need something more than breakfast you hear?" She had put her phone number on the coffee cup, Jude took a sip as she smiled at her, and was instantly in heaven, "call me for anything, kay? I mean it Jude anything."
That was just what she needed to hear, "Sure, thanks Aunt Joy."
"Bye kiddo," she was so kind, their closest family friend, save for Billy Black, and that was when Jude knew.
No one knew.
No one knew the horrible things Jude had done to her parents, removing herself permanently from their lives, or Aunt Joy was actually doing a pretty good job pretending like she hadn't been told a lick of gossip. Had her parents really not told anyone? Made up a cover story? That she went away for school, traveling the world, and not…left them.
Aunt Joy's breakfast run was like an avalanche for other customers to pop their heads in. The rush came with so many familiar faces, Jude's cheeks hurt from smiling so much, under her breath she mouthed their names, Sarah Greene from the floral shop downtown, Embry Call and his mother, Mrs. Lahote sporting a black eye, a little grey haired woman that asked about the candies, a group of five or more Tribe high schoolers that overwhelmed her with questions about where she had been all this time, a little disappointed with her fabricated story, and still she was amazed. She was amazed to see them go about their usual routines as if her disappearance had nothing to do to their lives, and, it didn't.
It was a pleasant shock to Jude, the simple reality that one sole person could not affect the entire tribe. The Regulars came and went, Jude assumed it was so with the way they went straight for what they wanted, and then straight to her so she could ring them up. No words, no questions, just business. It was nice.
"Twelve dollars and fifty cents."
"Here," said Mrs. Mary Littlesea, whom had come inside with her barely grown toddler Benjamin, she bought a bag of chips and a few drinks, eyeing Jude as if she wanted to recognize her, but thought better.
"Have a nice day."
"You too."
Jude was more worried about the newly created pyramid of plastic arrows and bows in the tourist section of the store, she had to go over and fix it before someone saw. While she was at it, she also found little figurines chucked under the shelves, she had to bend all the way down to get them all, "come on kid."
It was an unsaid rule, only people passing through La Push bought from Quileute artifacts section, and of course the little monster Benjamin Littlesea thought the toys were his own personal treasure trove, another Spirit Warrior in training no doubt. While Jude was putting the last pieces in place, and picking up the children's weapons, and returning them back to their proper places, she turned melancholy, "oh my little Jordan," she sighed loudly, remembering her own little raven-haired boy back home, no doubt playing with his own toy weapons.
She took a long break after that, putting the money in a safe for Old Quil, and shutting up shop for an hour.
After returning from her break, she took her warm food to the front counter, a wobbly wooden stool was her resting place, and for once she glad for the lapse in customers, only so she could eat her BLT sandwich from the Downtown, while flipping through a magazine, and enjoying the pleasantly sunny day leaking into the convenience store. Honestly this lazy part of the day made waiting on the appearance of customers seem more like a volunteer job than actual work.
As Jude finally let herself relax, a lithe body jumped out from the aisles, "sneak attack!"
"Jesus," Jude almost fell over at the same time Casey threw an arrow hitting Jude right smack in the forehead.
"Got you!" the paleface attacker was grinning like a fiend, "Did I scare you?"
Great, just what Jude needed, a distraction, "Terrified," Jude muttered, huffing and puffing to lift the arrow that fell over the counter and put it right next to her hand, Casey went to grab it, and Jude caught her hand, throwing it away playfully, "stop doing that, I already put these away today."
"Oh come on, have a little bit of fun. What put you in a grumpy mood? Huh, Grumpy," Casey stuck her tongue out, proving herself to still be more child than soon to be graduating Senior at Forks High School.
"I work here, so I have to behave," Casey needed to be told this, reminded that not all people had their parents to rely on, a college tuition guaranteed to be paid for, "besides I live here too, I live upstairs, and my boss is usually in the back," she nodded to the hidden kitchen, "so it's best I don't burn my bridges," Jude smirked, seeing her best friends' face gape, really taking this place in, mentally criticizing it with her eyes.
"But this place..." the Forks born elitist searched for the word, "is so old, do you even get hot water, do you have to light a lamp to see?"
"It's not that old Casey, come on," that comment almost made her laugh, almost, "it has warm water," and water bugs that swarm from the drain, "and it has electricity," that shuts off at least once during the night, "I am lucky to live here, Billy Black was very reasonable to me."
"He's friends of your Dad," Casey said quickly, "do you think your dad knows-"
"No," Jude interrupted her, lowering her voice, "not likely, and if he did he would have warned Billy not to take me in."
"I hate how you make Harry seem like the bad guy in your story," Casey sighed loudly, and Jude bit back her retort, Casey was right, it was not fair when Jude hardly knew the man, hell even the father he was these days to Seth and Leah. It's your fault, her traitorous mind told her, it's your fault for pushing away something good.
Casey picked up on her depressed mood, of course she would, "Hey," she reached a hand over Jude's cotton clothed arm, "what happened to you, did someone get on your bad side?"
"No, I am not mad, not really," Jude was more interested in, "I thought we were going to meet tomorrow morning at Debbie's Diner? What changed?"
Casey giggled like this had been her plan all along, "I got too excited to see you back, I had to come and meet you," Casey Whitney leaned over to place a kiss on Jude's cheek, and then whipped her sandy pixie cut head to inspect the calm and empty store, went to great lengths of pulling herself over the counter, dangling her feet, to take a nosy peek, "did you make the trip from New Mexico all alone? You said you talked to Susan and Peter this morning, everything alright with you guys," was her innocent question.
Jude knew better, a sly smirk growing on her face, "are you looking for someone Casey? Because he isn't here, he didn't come with me."
"Why not," Casey look affronted like Jude had done a grave wrong, "he should be here, I wanted to show him around town, we could have made a day of it," she pouted, as if Jude's secret born-out-of-wedlock son was something to be shown off for the Forks locals, "you lied to me, you said he would be here."
"No, I never said I was bringing Jordan, I said I was coming back Casey, not that I was going to-" make a home here, Jude would be foolish to ever think that she could ever have anything permanent so close to this place, "Casey you didn't tell your mom, did you? You didn't tell her about Jordan?"
Casey had the decency to flinch, "So, about that."
"Dammit Casey," now Jude was seriously pissed, "I told you, I told you a thousand times not to tell anyone-"
"I know, I know, it just came out and I didn't know what to do-"
"Maybe try keeping one little secret, you know how this is going to look," Jude felt so betrayed.
That is when Mrs. Claire Whitney walks in.
An older version of Casey's five foot frame, sandy and greying hair that went down to her shoulders, and a set of very azure eyes in her abnormally pale face, the same set of eyes Conner had, the same that belonged to her grandson in New Mexico, "Judith? Is that you dear," there was no warmth in her voice. No forced courtesy, only direct persecution.
"I would like to have a word with you," it was not a request.
If Jude's day couldn't get any more stressful, it did now, because it was one thing for a girl to be still talking to her ex's baby sister, and a completely other to be talking to his years on end lied to mother.
o0o0o0o0o0TMS0o0o0o0o0o
Despite Mrs. Whitney's chilling words, at least the stars were out that night.
"I'm sorry Jude."
"I don't want to talk about it, let me look at the stars," Jude ignored Casey, for once focusing on the beautiful sky of the North Peninsula, and how it reminded her of the desert. Their brilliance and twinkling was making her question if they were really alone in the universe, "funny how I never really look at them," Jude said after she mentioned them, "I guess I never have the time."
"Yeah, I think they're pretty too," Casey grumbled deep into her borrowed parka, it was unbearably cold while they stargazed.
The cold biting wind was the only thing keeping her from whacking Casey again for betraying her, to her mother of all people.
They had parkas on, with woolly blankets wrapped around their legs, and sat on folded chairs around a self-made bonfire that Casey, a fellow Ranger, said was sturdy enough to make s'mores on. She was really trying to be a good friend, a good friend after betraying her to her bloodthirsty mother. The light from the kitchen home cast them in a yellow glow, as they faced off into the back of Mark's mart. The fire was their crackling beacon in the swallowing darkness and the sound of wildlife and the distant waves could be heard all around them; unseen and nocturnal. Judith shivered.
She forgot how cold it could get in La Push.
Casey looked immune to it.
She had the decency to ask for another paid for drink, "Pass me another Jude."
Judith thought long and hard about it, of even giving her time to recognize that she was speaking.
"Please Jude, you punished me enough, you know I am sorry," it was impossible to stay angry at her friend, after her mother had peacefully left, declaring that she would like to hear more about this grandson she knew nothing about, they had stood in silence after that, Jude promised her nothing, and Mrs. Whitney promised to be back later to pick her up, "Jude please I didn't tell my mother because I wanted to, she honestly scares the crap out of me. She scared the crap out of Conner too, you know that is the only reason he got with you. You're a hard ass, like my mom, you both freaked me out."
Jude laughed, really laughed now, "you're right, she scares me too," she passed Casey the beer, and at the last moment tipped her own glass-bottled apple cider against hers to celebrate the first night of her real return to La Push. From this short distance from Mark's Mart, the bonfire's flames cast a dancing light on white wood. Honestly the convenience store looked haunted, there was little reason denying it now, but Judith wasn't afraid. There was very little that made her spooked these days. She touched her amulet, and was happy it was there.
"So," the two-year experienced Ranger said, leaning back in her chair, "do you have any plans for the place."
"Plans? I don't own this place, and even if I did, it's too old to be restored, it would cost a fortune," Jude said truthfully, "What I first want to do is get a car. I don't care how pretty it is, as long as it takes me to Forks and back. That is good enough for me."
"I might know someone," Casey said piping, "I will call you tomorrow, after I finish work. I'll send him here."
Judith accepted it, this was Casey. Her pushy ego-eccentric friend would help if she said no, especially if she said no, "Okay, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon," she said sipping the warm apple cider, it was not favorite, "thanks Casey."
"I said I was sorry-"
"No," Jude corrected herself, "I mean it, you were there for me when no one was there, and I am not going to let something like you telling the truth get in the way of our friendship."
"Oh thank God," Casey held her chest, relieved, "I was waiting for you to say that."
Jude couldn't help but narrow her eyes into the flame, and chug the rest of her drink, "well don't think this gives you a freebee for the next time. You can't say jackshit to my family, and to hell with Conner, he would roast me alive if he knew."
"Leah would murder you in your sleep," Casey agreed, finding it funny, "but what did you expect would happen? Listen here," she was already tipsy, it amused Jude, "one thing I learned is that when times are tough that is what friends' are for. I still think you are a good person Jude. Even if no one believes it," she tipped her beer up to Jude.
That just warmed all the places in her heart, "Thanks Casey that makes me feel so much better."
"You still left my brother Jude, even left me for a while, this is me being nice remember," she teased. Jude laughed to hide the hurt. Her friends' face became thoughtful, she looked like she was dying to say something, and Jude frowned, knowing it was not going to be good.
"Tell me Casey," Jude gave up, "you look like you are dying to tell me."
She turned her chair to face her, "Okay, bear with me," she did everyday, "everyone said you ran away for selfish reasons Judith," she said and her voice was rich with excitement. She wanted something, "hear me out. That is what everyone thinks now, but why am I and my mom the only ones that know the truth? I know, I know, I remember what you said. It would just complicate everything, but why does it have to? The truth can confuse people, but at least you would be welcomed back and shit. Don't you want that?"
Jude sighed, she hated sighing so much, "You know why? We already decided this was best. Why won't you just leave it alone? It bothers me when you bring it up like we didn't even talk about this. We I could just come home, break it slowly. I am doing that. What do you want from me Casey? It won't bring him running back to me."
She waved her hands, getting to talk again, "Bring my big bro back or…" Jude made a face at her.
Casey waved her hands in peace, "okay, sorry I get it, that was not nice, but still- you did it for him, so that he could have a future, and that is something that I will never be able to properly thank you for."
"At least one of us is happy about it," Jude was still hurt that she had ever thought of leaving Jordan with anyone other than herself, of ever considered the it, adoption, she shivered still.
Casey was not finished, "But we aren't kids anymore, why all the mystery, why all the secrets Jude? Both of our parents should have known what you did, what happened-"
"Casey," she pleaded, the reason of her return was the worst of her pains, "please don't talk about him. It hurts too much." Casey needed to learn how to be calm, and find peace in the present company. It helped Jude to just meditate on what she needed to do than get depressed on what she could have fixed.
Casey was torn, "So I can't talk to anyone about this? Not even your old friends?"
Now she was crossing the line.
Judith's face became grim as she said the names, the flames popping for each one, "Grant the Tramp, Lucy Love, Kimbo Hippo," she had always hated that nickname, "Conner the Wanker." Casey laughed at her brother's nickname, and Judith's old lover, it was not something to laugh about.
"Yeah, I remember the rest, Philly, Casey Baby," Casey Whitney said her old nickname, she was always the baby in their eyes, "Crazy Jude." Judith froze. She had forgot that nickname. No one had said that name in a long time.
It was not a good nickname and not one her friends called her that, unless they wanted her to explode on them.
Judith watched Casey.
Casey didn't look guilty for saying that, quite the contrary, "What Jude? Does that name bother you? It looks like it," They were both adults. Judith knew that, but the name still stung, stung enough for her to want do something not at all adult-like.
But Jude didn't, she had to make a stand against it, she had to prove herself now more than ever, "Sure, I was crazy, I always knew that," Judith shrugged, like it meant nothing, "I have a control on it now," she admitted rubbing the amulet on her neck, "you don't have to worry about that- A loud howl from nearby made them both jump.
It was not a coyote. No this was a deep and drawn out howl. Lupine in kind.
"What is-"
"Shut-up," Jude knew that howl, could tell the difference even in her sleep, wolf.
After some very long seconds, Casey forgot her command, "What the hell is that thing!"
Invisible panting took over the sound of crackling fire.
Jude and Casey turned into their seats, alert to the dark of the forest. The blackness was alive. There was aggressive panting and chasing along the edges of woods, it was something big, but their human eyes couldn't see a thing. Judith tapped the gun she had at her side, making sure it was there. Old Quil had told her where Old Mark kept his gun, and unknowingly gave her the permission to arm and protect herself. From experience, Harry taught her a long time ago how to use one, but tonight she didn't feel like shooting a poor animal.
She still cocked her gun, aiming, and shooting in the air.
Casey covered her ears, "JUDITH!"
The woods went back to normal after a few minutes, the crackle of the fire the only sound to meet the distant ocean waves.
"Judith, you shouldn't have done that," Casey tugged on her parka, whispering as if the creature would return, "it sounded so big, like a bear, but wolf, what was that howling about? Why didn't it get close to us, it's instincts-"
Jude gave her the answer, it still lay in her arms, pointed skyward, "I used my gun, that is why it stayed away," that had to be the reason, she didn't want to her mind to run with imaginary reasons, not when she would have to live here all alone for the coming nights, "Hm, it's interesting though," Judith hummed at as the howling got farther away, "I have a theory about what it is, but it would scare you to know."
"What," said Casey, "tell me," she begged.
Jude knew her best friend, as an outsider to La Push lore and an obvious nature-lover she didn't need things to be afraid of, the forest was filled with imaginary monsters and demons, especially to her hyperactive mind, but Judith couldn't help the terrified expression on her face, and the fact that Casey had made her life a living hell today.
"Werewolves," Judith teased, "I heard they feed on Park-Rangers."
"JUDITH! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"
It really was, Jude laughed all night.
Somehow,
whispering next to the fire, watching Casey's animated face, and the stories they shared of the old times, this place, these woods, it was feeling more and more like home.
That revelation frightened Jude in a different way.
