Funeral

Sam yawned as she rubbed her eyes, dragging her feet to her front door where someone had been knocking for the past several minutes.

Ready to chew out any deliveryman who thought waking up at nine on a Sunday morning was acceptable, Sam opened the door, only to find Carly standing there instead.

"Oh hey," Sam mumbled, still not fully awake. "What's up?"

"Oh Sam," Carly said, throwing her arms around the blonde. "I heard the news. I'm so sorry and I'm here for you to try and take your mind off of things."

"What?" Sam frowned.

"I heard you and Freddie broke up last night," Carly said.

"Oh yeah," Sam nodded. "Right."

"Well I have my entire get-over-a-guy kit right here," Carly said, holding up a large bag. "I have cookie dough, chocolate chips, frosting, cheesy movies and, well…I know you and Freddie are both my friends and I shouldn't be taking sides, but I have a few pictures of Freddie in here and a pair of scissors. I'll just look the other way and you can do whatever you want with those."

"Carly, that's sweet and all, but I'm fine," Sam told her. "I don't need a get-over-a-guy kit…although you can leave the junk food."

"Sam, come on, aren't you even the tiniest bit upset about the break-up?" Carly asked.

"No," Sam shrugged. "I mean it's too bad, I guess. I'll have to go back to buying my own smoothies or sneaking money from Freddie's wallet again, but other than that…"

"You guys dated for a month," Carly pointed out.

"I know."

"That's the longest relationship you've ever had."

"It just wasn't working out," Sam told her. "We were too different. After all…we wouldn't want to force anything that wasn't meant to be."

"Huh?" Carly said.

"Nothing," Sam said quickly.

"So…you're not the least bit upset?" Carly said, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Sam said simply. "Wait, how do you know we even broke up? It was less than twelve hours ago."

"I ran into Freddie," Carly said. "He came over to borrow an egg for his mother's vegetable omelet this morning."

"Oh," Sam nodded. "Um, well how was he?"

"He said he was fine, just like you," Carly replied.

"Good," Sam said, turning around. "That's-That's nice…"

"So, um, why'd you two break up?" Carly asked.

"I told you, we were just too different," Sam said firmly. "Don't worry, though. It wasn't a bad break-up or anything. It was mutual. Just…don't let that get out, okay? I can't have people know that. If anyone asks I broke up with him."

"So are you and Freddie, you know, cool?" Carly frowned.

"Yeah, as cool as we ever were," Sam said. "If you're concerned about it being awkward an all between the three of us, don't be. It's just gonna go back to the way things always were with the three of us before Freddie and started dating."

"Well maybe you should take a little time to just, you know, let yourself feel sad," Carly suggested.

"But I don't feel sad!" Sam told her.

Carly gave her a knowing look. "Sam…"

"So let's get started on this cookie dough," Sam said, grabbing the bag from her. "I haven't had breakfast yet, so this is perfect."

…..

Carly stood by her locker the next morning, piling books into her bag. She hadn't spoken to Sam since the prior morning and she hadn't seen Freddie in awhile either. She really wished she could believe what both of them had said about them being fine. But they had been so happy together! She wondered why they had even broken up in the first place.

"Hola, Carlotta!" Freddie said brightly, turning to corner and coming over to her, two lattes in his hand.

"Hey," Carly replied. "How you feeling?"

"Um, good?" Freddie said, giving her a strange look. "Why? Oh…Carly I told you, I'm fine about the break up."

"You know, it's okay for you feel upset about it," Carly said.

"I know it is, but I'm not," he replied firmly.

"Okay," Carly conceded. "Why do you have two lattes, by the way?"

"It's Monday," Freddie shrugged. "I always bring Sam a latte when it's Monday so she actually stays awake during her first class. It's history, she finds it boring enough without being all sleepy and-oh. I-I only did this while we were dating, didn't I?"

Carly nodded.

"Oh, well, honest mistake," Freddie said, quickly pulling a smile onto his face. "Hey, kid, here you go. Have a latte!"

"Gee, thanks!" the random student who Freddie had thrust the extra coffee cup at said.

Carly bit her tongue. This boy was clearly not fine.

"What's up, people?" Sam said a moment later, joining her two friends. Carly saw out of the corner of her eye as Sam approached them that she made the slightest move towards Freddie, no doubt to give him the usual morning kiss they used to share just a few days ago.

Luckily, she stopped herself.

"Hey," Freddie said pleasantly. Almost too pleasantly, Carly noted.

"Hey," Sam said, her voice sounding just as fake as Freddie's. "You stop for coffee?"

"I did."

"Good choice…I-I hear coffee's nice in the morning," Sam said lamely.

Carly leaned back against her locker. They were going to kill her.

…..

"So are we going to do the bit with the clown funeral before or after the bit where Gibby brushes his teeth with hot sauce?" Carly asked as the trio sat in the iCarly studio a few days later, planning out their next web show.

"Before would probably be best," Freddie said, noting a few things down in his notebook.

"Do we need anymore hot sauce?" Sam asked. "I have a ton at home. My mom's dating this new guy who bought her six three-gallon containers of the stuff for their first date."

"Why hot sauce?" Freddie frowned.

"Yeah, that's weird, even for the guys your mom dates," Carly agreed.

"I don't know, I try and stay out of her love life," Sam said. "So you need anymore?"

"We could use some," Carly nodded.

"And did we ever decide about doing the Random Dancing with Noodles bit?" Freddie questioned.

"I thought we were gonna do it first thing," Sam said.

"Oh, right," Freddie said. "Let me just change that in my notes…Aw man, my pen ran out. Sam, you have an extra pen?"

"Yeah," Sam said, rifling through her nearby backpack and pulling out another pen. She tossed it over to him. "There you go, baby."

Carly and Freddie both looked at her.

"Um…" Freddie said, a bit unsure of how to react to Sam using one of their old couple's terms.

"I-I mean…" Sam said quickly, he face visibly reddening. "I meant to say…there you go, you baby…Because he's a baby for crying about his stupid pen running out. What a nub, right?"

"Well, I-I think that's all we needed to do for rehearsal today," Carly said, sensing the awkward tension that had suddenly filled the room. "We can finish everything else up tomorrow."

"Okay," Freddie said, quickly putting his notebook away. He walked over to Sam and handed her the pen back. As their fingers briefly brushed against each other, Freddie suddenly felt his heart beat quicken. Just like it used to when they held hands when they were dating…

"Thanks," Sam said, avoiding his eyes as she took the pen back from him.

"I've got to go," Freddie said, grabbing his laptop. "My-My mom needs me home…It's puzzle time…"

He rushed out of the studio and the Shay's apartment, leaning against the outside wall as he tried to calm himself down.

He sighed as he looked down at the ground. Their break up may have been mutual, but it looked like it would still take some time for him to get over it.