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Chapter 15


She had never been so wrong.

After coming back from Downtown La Push, Jude had arms full of packed food and girly' things she would need for the coming days, rumbling thunder jerked her from daydreaming, and lightning racked it's claws against the sky above her, "Where did this storm come from?"

As it began to drizzle, Jude prayed for a car to come soon, anyone that would remember her from the funeral service, and when one did come her way, it only sped faster past her as she tried to hail to down, "Hey! Asshole!" She called after the zooming car, but whoever it had been was long gone. No one wanted to be out in this weather. She was stupid for thinking it wouldn't catch her. She was shivering, sneezing, and she knew that she shouldn't be feeling this hot or wheezy chested, she was sick, a boiling fever type of sick.

"Fuck it," a soaked Jude looked through the downpour and just ran into the woodlands.

It was dangerous bet to take the cover of the tall pine trees, but she knew the way. Kind of. It had been a while since she went walkabout in La Push. The branches and canopy helped keep her somewhat dry, but the foliage and scampering wildlife made it difficult to traverse. Hopefully there were no hungry vampires named Victoria prowling about. Of course, Jude still turned around to look for any bright red hair among the deep green and earthy browns. Leah did say the bloodsucker had red hair.

Jude returned to the road when she recognized the borderline of her side of La Push. As she crossed the borderline, another car slowed right up next to her soggy tennis shoes.

"Oh thank you! Thank you!"

She had never been so happy in all her life. It must be Leah or Seth, possibly one of the wolf's she met recently. She hoped it wasn't Paul. The car's window rolled down and the person inside was a man she had not expected, "Sam?"

"One of the guys spotted you," Sam opened the door and a soaking wet Jude jumped in quickly, "you were lucky it was one of my guys that spotted you."

For a good two minutes the only sound was the rain, the heaters on full blast, and the rhythmic 'swish' of the windshield wipers. Awkward didn't even explain it. What should a person say their sister's ex? She thought of seriously cursing him and getting out the car, but it was raining and her head was ringing. But what she really wanted to ask him why the hell would he leave her baby sister for her cousin Emily, and that was something that she didn't want to fight over in the close compact space of the car.

Instead she decided to just sit, and thank him when they got to whatever house he dropped her off at.

While she was counting the seconds and dreading how slow he was driving, Sam spoke, "How is your hand?"

She raged at him,"What, what did you say to me?"

"I said," he pointed to her right hand, the cast it was now in, innocent as he could be, "How is your hand?"

Well, it was not a rude thing to say, but Jude still felt angry as she looked at the white and hard cast she had been put in the day before, "My hand is still weak no thanks to you," she spit back, "don't talk to me Sam. I am still angry at you."

He didn't listen, liking the sound of his voice too much, "I would be angry too. Leah didn't deserve what happened to her and Harry, or what is happening to her now," he coughed clearing his voice, and Jude rose her eyebrows. He really wanted to do this, "and for the record, what I did to Leah was inexcusable, but what I have done Emily is even more so. I don't deserve either of them," was his lame retort, "but I want to make it perfectly clear what I have with Emily is not just a fling, this is the real thing. I would not have left Leah for less."

"Hah," Jude was not letting him get away with this half-ass apology, "like that makes it better. This better not have been the speech you gave to Leah when you guys broke up-" he flinched, making it worse, way worse, "oh no this was the speech. You suck so much Sam. I mean my god just tell my sister that what you had with her was 'not the real thing'."

Sam gave a low growl, "I am trying to fix what was done. If Emily and I could have done it any other way we would have, we tried staying away from one another, but it was just not that simple. Leah deserves to be with someone that feels the same way about her," he sighed like it was hard for him, Ike he was the one that had to watch Leah with another guy,"That's it, that is what I should have told you when you broke your hand."

"Yeah," she enjoyed that memory, up until the last part, "broke my hand punching a great Spirit Warrior, wait an Alpha, the Alpha in the face," Jude smiled at the last part, "I hope you won't hold it against me if I feel the urge to do so again."

He shifted gears as they came down her street,"I wouldn't recommend it."

"Is that an Alpha order Sam?"

"I see that Leah has informed you of some things," Sam's polite face turned dark, "I just hope you do the same. No more secrets, right?" So the wolves had been listening in on their private conversation, Leah had warned her not to say anything in front of them.

"That is none of your business," Jude leaning back in her seat.

He took it as a show of defiance, "Anything to do with Leah is pack business."

This controlling ex-boyfriend thing he had going for him was so annoying, "You must love that," Jude said, "you must love pushing all her buttons. I hope my sister does what I can't and punches you were the sun don't shine. It might take you down a notch, because this all high and mighty Alpha thing gets annoying really fast."

"Whatever, I am dropping this," Sam said like an Alpha asshole would say, "I don't want to fight with you."

"Fighting?" She pointed to her partially open mouth, "This is talking, Alpha Sam," Jude said, mulling over the fact that Sam was able to abuse his control over other people if he wanted to. If her siblings so much as told her so, oh my god, this was inexcusable, ugh, "I only wish that I would have been the one to turn into a wolf," if only to give Leah the break from him, "you better believe I wouldn't have let you get away with half the things you are doing to my sister."

"You are not a wolf," he breathed deeply, a cocky smirk growing on his face, "and thank god for that, you're anger issues are worse than Paul's," he gained some control with the joke, more than Jude felt like having, "we are sworn to protect you, and you better believe if I could I would remove you from that oath" he didn't have to say it, but Jude knew, "You are too much trouble for one person to handle."

"Awww, you powr powrful Alpha," Jude cooed, when Sam finally turned on her street, he drove like an old lady, and she had to keep reminding herself that he was a vampire-killing machine. "Thank god Sam, you drive like my grandmother," at least Leah and Seth could hear them maybe, give her some back up,"am I giving you hard time Sam? Am I getting on your nerves? Am I making you want to phase?"

"Stop it," he growled, wolf-like, "you are trouble. I don't want to see you walking alone in the woods again. And you shouldn't be out in this rain," Jude chuckled shaking her hair and wetting Sam's leather seats. More growls filled the car and she knew that messing with him was just too much fun.

She kept doing it, "you can tell me that again. Thanks for driving me home Sam, you are my hero," she teased him when they got out, he walked stiffly beside her, and she tried patting him, laughing when he flinched away from her, "down, down, bad doggie" she said looking down at the tracks visitors had made when they left after that overwhelming funeral service, teasing Sam helped her forget, "bad doggie."

Sam was right on her heels, whispering while he snarled, "You don't get to make jokes about this Judith Clearwater. The pack is confidential information that can put our entire tribe at risk. If anyone unworthy found out about this. You could forget about vampires being the only problem we have. Are you listening?"

"Yeah," Jude moaned as she tries to push the front door open, it wouldn't budge, and she put down her things before she vomited on the patio, "I feel so sick," Jude chuckled feeling the joke coming, "like a dog."

Sam's mouth turned at the tips, "I highly doubt that."

"No, don't smile Sam. We are not friends-," she yelled louder, hoping someone would save her from him, "I never-want to be your-oh god- falling- falling-" Sam helped her before she fell flat on her face, and yet the world still tilted.

"Sam? Jude? Why is she all wet," Mama Sue was already there, and Jude saw a worried and bitchy faced Leah behind her. Yes, she was safe.

Sue took Jude's shaky hands in her own, "Jude, where have you been? Why are you all wet?"

"Take this off," Leah helped take off her the jacket that clung to her body, and for a moment that was a bad idea because now her skin was bare, and so cold. Mama Sue came back with a warm bath towel, and Jude was never so thankful in her life. She was so thankful she gave her mother a big wet kiss on the cheek. It didn't look like she enjoyed it.

Sue rubbed her back through the bath towel, "Okay let's get you warm bath."

While she was taking off her soggy shoes, she looked up at Sam, "It's Sam fault mom, he is trying to kill me, called me too much trouble" she teased him, and Sue thanked the dog for his help and they went inside. Jude only made it to the couch.

"Stay here Jude, I am going to start the bathe, no fighting," her mother commanded because she already knew Jude so well.

Jude turned on her side, getting a better view of Leah's stone face as she sized up her Alpha, "Yes Mama, I'll stay with Leah, Leah?" She failed to get her sister's attention, it didn't really matter, "Why don't you let in the nice ol' Alpha?" Jude would like nothing more than to see what objects actually caused harm to Spirit Warriors, maybe Leah could help her find out, "see if we could have some fun with him."

"No," Leah didn't let him in. It would seem Sam would be stuck outside, "he's not coming in."

Sam's voice was earnest, "Leah," even when Jude could not see his face, she could tell he wanted to stay and tell them how Jude no doubt would not be allowed to speak of the growing wolf problem, "Leah let me in, stop acting like this," he whispered, "we have things to discuss."

It seemed like he was going to come in without her permission, "Leah, move out of the way," he tried coming in, but Jude's baby sister pushed him out, "dogs stay outside."

"Oh damn! You heard her Sam," Jude was never so proud in her entire life, "get out you dog!"

"Jude," her mother was back, the water running in the bath, "what did I say?"

Jude vomited on the floor, Leah and Sam groaning probably because their wolf senses could smell everything that was in it.

"Someone's going to have to clean that," Jude mumbled, wiping her mouth.

"You think!" Leah growled as Sue told her to get some towels to clean it, she had shut the door in Sam's disgusted face, and thankfully he did not have to see her almost fall into her vomit, "god Jude! I swear you can't ever hold yourself together, just for a day!"

"I'm an emotional mess today," Jude whispered as Sue helped her up, "Leah is too."

"I am not emotional," Leah corrected her, "pissed, it's called pissed."

Jude could see right through that act, "I am going cut her some slack with it today Mom," she whispered as they hobbled to the restroom, as if Leah was the problem, "you know, we all should have a break after today," her father's first day entombed in the ground, God she could not think of that right now, it was too soon, too fresh in their minds.

"Jude," her mother tutted, "stop it, and get in the bath."

"Sounds good to me," even if Jude had a thousand issues to fix.

Jude had to go to Billy and talk about Winona had to say about the spirit demon problem, she had a son that no doubt would be calling to hear his mother's voice, and Susan and Peter would want a full story of what had happened today at her father's funeral. It gave her a headache that to think that she would have to edit most part out since Sam would rip her to shreds for breaking the treaty. Bury her for letting others know about their real-life Legends walking on four furry legs all over La Push. Even if Bella Swan, an outsider, had told it to their sworn vampire enemies, and the boy, almost man, she couldn't get out of her mind was still hung up on winning the same vampire-girl back to their side.

"Damn," Jude went into the restroom with her mother, the steam from the bath evaporating her problems into a mush in her mind, "I got a lot of shit to do Mom."

"Yes, yes, in time Jude," her mother shushed her, "but in the meantime…" she was right, Jude had to take warm shower, get over this sickness, and hack up her stomach some more.


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She couldn't remember getting so excited to have blistering water pour down her body.

Goodbye, she wished farewell to the Marks Marts' weak excuse of a lukewarm faucet to get her head wet, now the she had the real deal in her mother's small but equally larger to her bathroom. Billy's had been a greater reprieve from the first option, but there was nothing like being home. The sight of the off white tile, maroon fluffy circle carpets, and the green designs of painted on pine trees, their individual paint-strokes of leaves reminded her that her mother had an eye for the detail. At the very bottom of the wall she had let Leah, Seth, and her paint some flowers, those child-like coils and lopsided petals made her smile.

The scent of open top window of the path let in the actual pine scent, cool air taking the overpowering warmth, and the burning cinnamon from the lone candle filled the foggy room with all comfortable times she had bathed in here before as a toddler, as a whiny kid, and as an angsty teenager that screamed at Seth and Leah to get out. It was home.

Before getting into the tub, Jude stripped her old torn clothes that she had bought two years ago at goodwill.

"I am throwing these out, no, they are ugly," her mother sentenced them, collected them in her arms and took them from the bathroom. That would be the last time Jude would see them, and many more things she had brought in the two bags that had lessened to just one bag since she left New Mexico. The birthing pains of letting her old life in New Mexico fade away, the life she had before she had Jordan in her belly, and what it would mean for his future without seeing him everyday, meant she would have different things haunting her now.

"Let Jordan go," Jude tried, "let him have a better life," knowing the grey tainted memories that would stay with her always were still worth coming back home to explain to her father before his death, and patch up her relationship with her now willing mother.

The same woman came back in, Jude was oddly at peace in her presence, "I told you not go running in the rain," Sue dumped another hot pale of water over her head as Jude sniffled in the tub water, but did not say anything, "ever since you were little, why can't you just listen Jude?"

"I know, I'm sorry," Jude's raven hair became a thick wet curtain around her head. She parted it in time to see Sue to dump another bucket of warm water over her. It felt good, but her mother was overdoing it. They were wasting so much water. It was like she was washing, scrubbing, and rubbing away all the three years of abandonment against Jude's reddened skin.

After her skin began to burn from the friction, she found her voice, "Mom, not so hard," Jude said and then Sue handed her the sponge.

"You can do it then," Jude took the sponge, and eyed her watching mother. What was she supposed to do? Her mother would not leave her for a moment. If she even hinted it her mother would give her a "Leah glare" and just kept circling like a mother wolf and her injured pup.

"Here take these," Sue said with her arms full of products, "here hunny these help with making your skin softer," she put oils on Jude's arms, legs, and the back of her neck. It made Jude's skin slippery and truly softer. "Wow" she said as her mother smiled at her. Her mother was babying her too much and to add to the whole experience, Mama Wolf refused to let her do any work, and under no pretense did she let her even let her out after a few hours of keeping warm in the bathroom.

Jude was sure she didn't even lock the door, Leah, Seth peeked their heads in to see if she was still alive, and a few of their leaving family said their goodbyes through the door.

One voice in particular stood out from the rest, "Sue, me and Jacob are leaving," said Billy that was at the door, and that sent a whole different type of chills going down Jude's back.

When the house was empty, and when Jude was allowed to paint her mother nails, and each other's wiggling toes, Jude felt more energized to do something other than breathing in the healing fumes of hot tea leaf water, "why don't we get Leah in here, we can make a party of this," Jude hoped that they could have more days like this, and her mother could have another week off from working at the La Push marina in their father's fishing shop for the tourists.

"I think Leah would rather get a break from this whole town," her mother said shortly, "I need to let her get out more, let her have her own freedom," it would seem Jude had made that impression on her mother. That her unending love had suffocated them in some type of way, a way that pushed them to get away.

"I don't think Leah wants to get away from you mom," that was the damn truth, and then it struck her, "Oh shit," that reminded Jude, "I have to call Casey, I have to remind her that I won't make it to practice with the soccer girls."

"You can make those calls later," her mother answered flippantly taking off the nail polish that had gotten on Jude's fingers.

"I can't just give up on my job," she watched her mother work, "people are expecting me to keep my word," Jude said to as Sue began gathering the bottles of herbs, towels on the ground that had become bathroom mats, and draining the dirty water, "Mom, I'm serious. This is serious, you can't baby me like this, are you listening? Mom! Hey, and I can take my own showers!"

"You weren't complaining a few minutes ago," her mother continued by pouring conditioner over Jude's hair by cupping her hands and running her fingers through her longer hair. True. Why was she was rightbecause she was her mom, "You have never been able to stay put in one place Jude," Sue rubbed it through her head again, tutting her, "you need to learn how to relax yourself."

Her mother was so great at giving showers, her mother continued in relaxing her, "I know you need to go back Jude, but take it easy for a few weeks. Take the week off like me, I have Mrs. Call running the store for us at the marina, Leah quit her job, she needs some space too," well that was some news, "and even Seth took some time off from school," she patted Jude's thigh as if she was a small child again, "Give it a few weeks and we will talk about jobs and other things."

"That sounds good Mom," they walked out of the restroom to eat in the kitchen.

The house was truly empty, no Leah, no Seth, "they are patrolling with Sam," how her mother knew that, Jude had no idea, "they won't be back till later."

When her mother sat with her, leftovers from the funeral feasts in their plates, she pointed her fork at Jude, "Now about my grandson," Jude lost her relaxed mind, "I talked to Claire," Jude had forgot Mrs. Whitney had a first name, "and I agree with her, we don't know nearly enough about our grandson, who he is living with, if these people are even suitable-"

"They are," Jude was quick to defend, "they are amazing," she swallowed some of her food, "what would you like to know Mom?" That was all the invitation her mother needed. Jude didn't stand a chance.

How old is he? Who are these parents that are taking care of him? What are their names? What is their numbers? Where was he born? What color eyes does he have? Pictures? Jude had pictures of Jordan, him eating, playing, during Christmas and her mother fawned over them. She was afraid her mother would drive to New Mexico and take Jordan from Susan and Paul's home.

"We will have to pay them a visit."

"I am going in the summer," Jude grinned at the possibility of Jordan meeting his grandmother, "we could head down sooner if you wanted to?"

Her mother debated it, and then shook her head after her thinking, "when Leah and Seth have the time, when they aren't needed here, then we can go."

"Sure mom," because Jude knew the wolves would be more calm after the Victoria problem was taken care of. With the way Leah and Seth complained about it, Sam was no doubt going to tear off her head soon, hopefully.

After eating, her mother sent her to bed, "Mom," Jude moaned, "I don't feel sick anymore."

"Go to bed," her mother pushed her pajama clad body back into her parent's bed, and checking her forehead again, palming it like a piece of dough, "this is not a cold. It is a fever, and I am going to have Emily make you her famous soup, sleep, soup, sleep, and rest for you young lady. Remember a week!"

"Mom," this was ridiculous like Emily would ever make her a soup, Jude thought.

"You are being ridiculous, no more fighting me Jude," her mother heard her talking about Emily, "I am getting the mint leaves, my mother's remedy."

"God save me please," her mother was smothering her with so much affection, if she was not so blissfully happy with her mother's acceptance of her, her willingness to forgive, well… it wasn't so bad. She fell into a dreamless sleep. Nothing could have awoken her that night.

The following day, Jude was coughing up a storm in bed, the door opened and it was not her mother. Leah came in, with Seth almost tripping in after her. They shut the door quietly, probably thinking she was sleeping, and got onto the bed. Jude was surprised to even see them, she was sure that one night could not change their mind that much, but the dip of the bed and their warm bodies told her otherwise.

"I am awake," Jude smirked when her closed eyes opened, "you wolves are not so quiet."

"Shut-up Jude," Leah slapped her playfully on the cheek, and it hurt enough to bruise, but Jude just smirked at Leah's dumbfounded face.

"Sorry Jude, I meant to pat your face-"

"I barely felt that," Jude laughed, and Seth joined in, Leah giving a bleary eyed smile as they laid on their parent's bed. Jude snuggled underneath, and the two blistering heated bodies of her siblings above. Jude didn't care, it was nice to just relax like this with them. She could feel it, they were all truants today but her mother was right.

"You know I love you guys right," Jude opened her arms to encase them, Seth was yawning in his sleep, and Leah frowning because she was trying to nap. Jude's yin and yang.

Since Leah was already awake, she talked to her, "I am sorry Leah."

"Why are you apologizing for now?" Leah looked like she knew exactly what the reason was, "Do you need to apologize?"

"Well yeah," Jude admitted, while Seth quietly listened with his eyes closed, "I need to apologize to this family for pretending like I knew what you guys went through, I really fucked things up," Jude sighed, "having a child makes you look at the world in a different way."

"Aww, Jude," Seth comforted her, his hand rubbing against her face, yawning again, "that's sweet."

Leah didn't think so, "Anything else?"

"I am sorry," this was for Leah and Seth, "that when you both opened up to me," Jude remembered them embracing in the rain the day after their father died. Seth sharing a meal with her at his school, and all the car-rides afterwards, "when you both opened up to me, I was too much of a coward to do the same. No more, I am secret free now… wait," they tensed, "you both should also know that spirits attacked me my last day here," might as well tell them the whole thing, "and they kind of ripped off my clothes."

Seth spluttered as if his older sister being naked was close to seeing an old woman naked, "Why were you naked?"

"I got lost it in the woods," Jude said, "spirits were chasing me, and trying to attack me. Grant helped me get clothes and I convinced him to take me to the airport" Leah looked away like it didn't matter, "Anyways, I had it up to here with spirits and their craziness so I looked for spiritual help. No, I didn't join a church… or a cult. In New Mexico there was this shaman that said that if I didn't want the "gift" then I could put this on," she showed them the amulet around her neck, "and then bada-bing all the spirits were gone."

"So that is what this thing is for," Leah turned the talisman in her hand, "Why did you choose New Mexico?"

Jude put it back underneath her shirt, "I went to New Mexico because that was the only flight farthest away that I could afford," they didn't look happy about that.

"Well at least the visions are gone," her mother peeped her head into the room.

"Mom," they all groaned in unison, "were you listening?"

"What," she used her mothering voice, "can't I listen in on my kids?"

They wolves threw pillows at the door, and Jude didn't get much sleep after that, all four of them putting on the radio full blast, jumping on the bed, almost breaking it with their wolf strength, and listening to their father's old recordings. As the music played, they listening to Sue's stories of him, how they met, how they fell in love, and they finally got the chance to cry, together, to grieve over what had happened while Jude had been gone.

Jude didn't mind the calm accusations, because she got their little moments of forgiveness too. It was like a great stone was lifted from her chest, cracked in two, and now she was bouncing on the ceiling lighter and happier than she had ever let herself feel.


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That Monday morning, after the hectic weekend of her father's funeral, was actually not bad, not bad at all, Jude thought sitting at the older than dirt dining table Sam's kitchen had against the wall. Sam's hostess was worse than Sue, "Eat up," Emily put a second bowl in front of a bettering Jude.

The delicious bowl of hot soup wafted up to through her red nose, "Yes, wolf girl," Jude smiled back at the half perfect side of her cousin's face, still getting used to the other disfigured side, Sam's favorite side, as Leah had whispered to her just outside before they came in.

"Oh stop it Jude," Emily slapped her arm, and Jude winked at her, and the person beside her growling and Jude sighed louder than before.

"What did I do now?"

"Don't mind me," Jude got the ugliest look from Leah, "just forget I am even here."

Oh, that was right, Jude grimaced at her mistake, they were supposed to be angry at Emily, the one that was cooking like a mad chef, but it was so difficult to be angry with Cousin Em when she was so naturally good and kind-hearted to the entire pack.

There was something about this grown-up Emily that just made Jude feel... homey, and not to mention that her doting did not just extend to Sam, but everyone. It was like she was made to take care of the entire wolf pack, and her constant attention just felt... real. She had sacrificed her home, her poor restroom, and more importantly her kitchen and living room space for a throng of loudmouthed and boisterous people. It took a very special type of person to do that.

"You liked her once," Jude put it carefully, "what about that peace were were talking about? How good it felt to finally forgive me in the end?" There was a reason why Leah and Emily were so close before... the unmentionable happened.

"Your my crazy sister," Leah bit back, "I have no choice to forgive you, and you at least felt remorse, Emily..." Leah shook her head, probably seeing Sam's quick glance her way, always reprimanding, "whatever."

Besides that conversation, Emily was feeding everyone like they were the happiest wolf family in La Push. Leah was right, there was not one sign of remorse on cousin Em's face.

Seth lifted his cup when they had started eating, "To the vamp calling it quits!"

They all drank their cups at that.

"To getting the vamp's ass handed to her when she gets back," Leah shot back right back, and the pack lifted their cups in celebration. It was a celebration meal. Victoria hadn't showed up for two days, Bella Swan had ditched town, and all the vampire drama had left with her. Maybe, they could move on from all of the supernatural shit-storm they called their lives.

After breakfast Seth went for his first patrol alone. Besides the impossibly happy Omega (Seth) being absent, the whole pack was here. On a side note, Jude was happy for Leah's promotion, her sister was too fiery and high-strung to be the lowest on the totem pole, and get shit from the guys like she had also mentioned earlier. Seth didn't seem to mind in the very least, he was just happy to hang around the guys. Now he could bro it out with the guys. Jude liked to see the way he was talked so excitedly with Embry and Quil before he had left. They said that Seth looked up to Jacob Black the most.

"Please don't," Jude told him not to when she found out, "you are fine just the way you are Seth," she would hate for Seth to become anything like the cynical and up-tight Jacob Black that was doing handstands for a girl that had tuck tail and ran to her vampire family when they called.

"Jude," Em called her out, making her slurp up the rest of the soup, "I want you to meet Jared and Kim," Emily said, and then Jared came from the living room where he was leading a giggling familiar face.

"This is Kim," well, well, look who it was, it was the future Mrs. Cameron, and this time Kim gave her a look of pure happiness instead of fear, because to everyone's amusement Kim and Jared were as inseparable as Emily and Sam. It was beautiful as it was nauseating to watch.

"Hi Kim," Jared said as if they hadn't already been introduced.

Jared spoke up for her happy grin, "it's good to meet Leah's other sister," he shook her hand, "what you said at Harry's funeral was good to hear, we liked it," he added as if they were a bonus package, and Jude graciously dipped my head. It was good to hear someone liked it.

"That's nice of you," Jude leaned back in her chair, turning back to Jared,"you know what, you look so much like your older cousins, Liam and Chris," she could remember them being a lot shorter and squatter than Jared, but their smiles were the same. Big and White.

"Do I?" Jared looked surprised that she even knew them, "they went to join the army two years back," he chuckled, "how did you know them?"

"She fought them," Leah answered for Jude, making Kim chuckle at Jared's surprised face, "She broke their arms," Leah added, "and Jude got her first black-eye."

"Come on Leah," Jude pushed Leah but her unmovable sister didn't move, and looked beyond irritated with her for trying, "now he isn't going to tell me anything after hearing what I did to his cousins. Don't worry Jared they lost with dignity," Jude promised but frankly could not remember, "I am sure they would whoop me now. That was the first grade, and now just look at me."

That made a few people laugh.

Someone yelled a loud fuck you outside, followed by the sound of a fist meeting skin, growling, more fists flying and hitting something hard, "Oh my there they go again," Emily said as she brought Jude her second bowl without asking, "Paul always wants to pick a fight with him, I just hope that Rachel doesn't hear about this." Jude knew there was wolf drama with a family this big, but she was more focused on the delicious food before her.

"Great!" Jude gave a thumbs up as Emily filled her soup, "Keep them coming Emily!"

Leah growled, "suck up."

"It's for you stupid," Jude pushed her the soup towards her.

"You eat like the boys do," Emily said not noticing Jude was actually trying to feed her sister Leah whom was pretending like she was not hungry.

"I'm not hungry," Leah said after only eating one soup.

"Liar," Jude took it back.

She forced herself to take another sip and successfully burnt her lips and the tip of her tongue. Ah. Jude would just let it sit.

"You need to eat," Emily got Leah unawares by coming to fill hers too, "I can see your hungry, please eat Leah."

It would seem that she had eyes behind her head. Leah was already finishing hers and Jude smiled as Leah tipped the bowl to her lips because she knew, her big sister could have two to three bowels, but she could swallow ten and still ask for more.

The guys on the other hand…. My god. They ate as much as was available, and poor Emily, Jude wondered how she found the time to make so much soup for so many always hungry people with bottomless stomachs.

Jude could hear the start of a fight outside, growling and talented cursing, "Sam! They are starting," Emily gave Sam a look, and Jude couldn't help giggling with how fast he moved to get outside and play Papa Wolf. Emily had him so whipped.

She asked Leah, "Why are they fighting?"

Leah ignored her.

It was the hostess that answered her, "Rachel came back for Harry's funeral," Emily said bringing a thankless Leah another bowl, and she paused looking at us both, "and she is not going back. She," Emily's eyes darted outside, "found a reason to stick around. Billy is so proud," she skipped back to the kitchen, "and I made that soup spicy, so watch out," she warned us.

Leah didn't even stop eating with that weird conversation.

"Why would Billy be proud of Rachel staying?" Jude was filled with more questions, "Last time he talked to me he said that he was proud Rachel was at school, that she was finishing her college education instead of being around for the vampire problem-"

"I don't know," Leah huffed, "and I don't care."

Jude clicked her tongue, knowing what was the problem, "Are you angry with me?"

"Stop asking that shit," Leah growled, her soup vibrating before her, no doubt her thighs were shaking under the table, and Jude decided to ask Seth about it when he came back from patrol.

"Just eat your food Jude," Leah said grabbing the homemade salsa and putting two spoon for Jude and ten for her.

Jude growled right back at Leah, feeling like a wolf herself, "you are going to burn my mouth, great you ruined it Leah" Judith moaned.

"Good, maybe you can stop talking so much," now it's Jude's turn to frown.

"No more fighting," Sam came back in with an irritated Paul, grabbing him by the nape of his neck, as if he was a small pup, and sitting him at the kitchen's island and in front of the spicy soup. Suddenly unhappy Lahote was happy Lahote. Emily's soup was magical, and Jude decided she needed some to take home and give to everyone she had done wrong to.

As Jude was rubbing her burning tongue Paul's eyes found her, and she frowned at him, and he smiled back, and turned around to continue eating his soup. What? Did he just ignore her? Pass up the chance to flirt? What happened to yesterday?

"Leah," the self-conscious part of Jude bugged her again, and she didn't know how to put it in any other way than, "Why is Paul ignoring me?"

"Why do you care?" Leah's pissed off look intensified up at Jude's face, and she made it seem even worse than it actually was.

"Are you…" her sister's mouth turned into a coy smile, "jealous Jude?" Jude felt so completely embarrassed by Leah's stupid interpretation, that was not it, and a smirking Leah knew always knew it was not. Conner still held that softer part of herself.

"What? Me? Never," Jude said quickly, knowing everyone, save Emily, could hear their conversation, "I just wanted to know why he changed all of a sudden. It's kind of freaky."

"Freaky has nothing to do with it," Paul said, turning in his seat to a blushing Jude, and Jared laughed loudly from the couch with a giggling Kim under his arm. They thought it was funny, "don't you worry Jude, it has nothing to do with you," Paul said to Jude's reddened face, "your still gorgeous, don't get your panties in a knot," that made the guys holler in even more laughter at her expense, even the quiet Embry chuckled. Oh I could just die, Jude thought.

Quil, the same wolf from that dreadful day at Mark's Mart, had even joined them, "That's it ladies. Paul's been hit by cupid," he grabbed his heart and stuck out his tongue, "now he is going to be just the most lovable person," Quil tried pulling Paul's cheek and got his finger chomped instead, "Ow, Paul that hurts!"

"Then stop fucking with me," Paul muttered under his breath.

"No cursing in Emily's kitchen," Embry said while collecting all the disposables around the kitchen, the helpful one of the bunch, "that is why you got into a fight outside, Paul? Because you're so lovable?" He pulled Paul's hair and Embry leaned back from Paul's massive fist, "Don't you know he is protective over Rachel? She is gone for years and now you have this "hold" over her. Why do you got to go rub it in that you are apart of his family and shit."

"Because Jake would rather pretend I wasn't," Paul said, dunking into his soup with more gusto, "he would rather pretend I was just the same old-" he stopped there when he spotted Jude's curious glance, "never-mind."

"Shut-up up Paul, before I get Jake," was Embry's dry threat as he went outside to take out the trash, and someone held the door for him, and let himself in.

It was Jacob Black himself. He was the one that had fought Paul outside.

"Jake," Quil was quick to say, as Jude regained her calm composure, "here I made some room for you, right next to Paul," he teased and Jude could hear Jake growl like they must have done when they were in wolf form. Jude just wondered why Sam didn't ring Jake's ear like he had Paul's. Didn't he deserve to get his ear pulled too? He deserved it a thousand times over with the impression he had made that first day she had stayed at Billy. Calling her a liar and a thief. Jude had not forgotten.

"Is this seat taken?" Leah turned around and Jake was there, hovering over her shoulder, repeating himself, "is this seat taken?"

It struck Jude how attractive she found Jacob, especially when he was all moody like this. Jude told herself, it had nothing to do with him actually. It was all physical, nice slope of his back as he leaned over Leah, his face, no his perfectly tipped nose that was straight from tip to base, his hair, raven glossy black, oh yes it was his hair that hung around his small pink ears. Very nice, it would look better longer.

Stop it Jude, her mind told her.

It is sick, to crush on children, but Jude didn't see a kitchen full of sixteen year old boys when she looked around the kitchen. Men. All in-shape, handsome, and La Push grown men, and Jude knew she had to control her own wacky hormones in front of them all. How did Emily and Kim not feel the effects of this overwhelming hormone inducing display?

Jude looked away from her soup for the answer, studied the other girls reactions, Kim and Emily, they were engulfed in their significant others and vice versa. Jude's eyes returned to Leah's tight ones, and for once Jude understood. It was hard to be surrounded by guys that treated you like one of them, than an actual young woman.

"That seat is for Seth," Leah said distastefully to Jacob's polite request, "this is the Clearwater table."

"Leah," Jude warned her, knowing her tone would not be taken kindly, especially when the guys were already giving her shit, "that is not going to make us any friends."

"Good," Leah said in absolute confidence, "I don't need any here."

"Aw, Jake," his friend called him back from the island before Emily's cooking prowess, "what are you doing messing with Leah? Don't go to the girls table," Quil said loudly getting a bonk on the head from Emily, "Leah is all protective because she brought her sister-" I could hear the wink in his voice, "to come and meet us all."

"Did she, that's nice," Jake said as if he didn't recognize all the times he had glared at her like she was shit under his shoe, turning his gaze from Leah to Jude's waiting eyes. I wondered what he meant by 'nice'-

Jude stopped wondering, because she found it.

Jacob's eyes were dark brown, darker than Seth's, darker than her mother's eyes, and Jude had never been so conflicted with her past emotions and the ones running through her head now. When Jude was little, she always thought colored eyes were the prettiest, her own grey ones', Conner's blue eyes', and even Philly's exotic green ones. Her opinion was suddenly different.

Jude didn't feel like that anymore, my stomach had never felt so completely warm, my toes began to curl, and my… my goodness he was still staring, but so was I, her mind had turned into a teenager looking at the man of her wet dreams. She didn't want to stop. Jude didn't want anyone to ruin her little moment with Jacob's warm eyes, but to her, it was not little moment to her. It was big, huge, stealing her breath, and she knew when he stopped staring it would be lost, he would go back to his indifference, go back to running off the Rez to save his lady love.

Jude couldn't let that happen. Jude had traveled thousands of miles, struggled with water, food, homes', a baby boy, fought, grieved, and reconciled with her family to have a perfect moment like this. It was like she had been awakened to a new world. It was like letting yourself fall to the bottom of the ocean, become apart of it's deep slumber, and not worry about the fact that you need oxygen, even when your lungs are burning for it, and that, that is how his eyes felt.

"Jake?"

Leah pushed Jude's shoulder, yanking it a bit, "Jude," just a bit longer, let me look at him a bit longer, Jude thought.

"Jake," someone was trying to discontent him too, "didn't you hear what I said- oh shit, Embry! Get back in here!" Quil covered his mouth as if he was choking on his food.

"Jake you asshole," her sister looked between them, "stop staring at her-" Leah said and when he failed to do so, she turned to Jude whom was no better off than the first.

"What the hell?" Leah's eyes widened, and recognition lit her face as she saw what was between Jake and Jude. Their stare was no longer rude, no longer innocent, and Jude could see her sister's head steaming from here. Leah was shaking in her seat, ready to phase any moment, "I can't believe you," she snarled, and Jude was not sure at who she was really talking to, "I can't fucken believe you."

Then someone else caught on, the screen door slapping behind him, "shit, shit, not Jude," Seth said from the door, just back from patrol, stealing everyone's attention, "why on my sister, man?" Jude was one of the few to turn around to an unhappy Seth, the spell of Jacob's eyes broken. What did he mean not my sister? "You don't have to leave Seth," a worried Emily chased after her brother, the one person that was not still tripping over what the hell just happened.

"Yes!" Paul whooped twirling on his seat, congratulating himself, "I knew it, you son of a bitch, I knew it," and began pointing at Jared, "I won, you owe me twenty!"

Jared grimaced but let go of a confused Kimberly to pull out his wallet.

"This is not a joke," Leah roared and went to take their bowls to be refilled, shoving a frozen Jacob as she got up, "talk to her asshole, don't leave her hanging like that."

Leah left her alone, with him.

Jacob Black, the one that was far more mature than his wolf brothers when it came to these things, the one Billy loved so much he couldn't stop talking about, the same Jacob Leah had told her had spoke up against Sam about protecting Bella, that said he would do anything to save her, even fight against his own brothers if it came down to it.

That Jacob, was frozen, but Jude had the displeasure of seeing his blank look thaw, thaw into something that she had more experience with.

This Jacob returned to the cold stranger that she had lived with at Billy's house, even more so, and he looked furious, his own hands shaking, the bowl in his hands breaking, fluid dripping to the ground.

"Jacob," Emily shrieked, "what is wrong with you?"

Jude thought she had finally understood his reasoning now, her peace with her mother, her fiery sister, and with her lovable Seth. All of it was just a temporary truce, crushed just like that bowl, people would go back to remembering the person she really was, and now, Jacob's un-remorsful look of disdain made especially for her, it reminded her what all this meant, and her stupid attempts at playing family with his friends, his tribe was a sham to him.

Jude felt the guilt once again,

playing the intruder in her own home.