Characteristic

"Wow, this is really a nice one," Spencer said as he sat in Freddie's kitchen, examining the diamond engagement ring Freddie had showed him.

"Thanks, I've been saving all year for it," Freddie said proudly. "You think Sam will like it?"

"Of course she will, dude," Spencer replied. "She loves you. She'll want to marry you whether you give her this ring or one from a gumball machine…but you should probably stick with this one."

"Yeah, I was planning on it," Freddie chuckled.

"So do you know how you're gonna do it?" Spencer asked.

"Yup!" Freddie said, opening his fridge and pulling out a large slice of chocolate cake. "This is the same type of cake Sam and I ordered on our first date. Tonight when she comes over, I'm gonna bring this out for desert. Only this slice won't only be filled with chocolate cream and frosting…"

He carefully placed the ring in the middle of the cake, making sure it was completely hidden.

"Ah, the old 'Hide the Ring in the Cake' trick," Spencer grinned. "Very clever."

"I figure what better way to propose than to couple it with one of Sam's favorite foods," Freddie said.

"Well good luck tonight," Spencer said. "Hey, I have some fancy candles you can borrow and try to set the mood if you want."

"Um, I'd rather not borrow anything flammable from you," Freddie frowned. "No offense, but that kind of seems like a bad omen."

"Come on, I'm getting better with the fire issue!" Spencer said. He pulled out his wallet. "Look, I used my hot glue gun today to fix the flap on my wallet, and nothing burst into flames! I'm telling you, I think that was just a phase that-oh jeez!"

The wallet suddenly burst into flames, and Freddie quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher, putting out the fire.

"How-How was that-That's not even possible!" Spencer exclaimed.

"I think you still have a bit of a fire issue," Freddie said.

….

"Okay…fancy music, check. Sam's favorite fried chicken, check. Candles that have never been tainted by Spencer, check. Alright, I-I think that's everything," Freddie said, looking around the kitchen that he had finally finished setting up for his big moment.

He tried to steady his nerves, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. As he opened the fridge, he checked one last time to make sure that ring was perfectly hidden in the cake.

"I hope she says yes," Freddie mumbled to himself. He knew he wanted nothing more than to be Sam's husband; tonight had to go just right.

"Oh! I know what I need!" Freddie said. "That fancy new room freshener! It's tropical breeze, Sam's favorite. Now where did I put it…ugh, I think it's in my room somewhere."

He retreated into his bedroom to grab the spray, and no more than a few seconds had passed when Sam let herself into Freddie's apartment.

"Freddie?" she said, tossing her bag and coat on the floor next to the coatrack. "Yo, nub! You here?"

"Yeah! I'll be out in a sec, baby!" Freddie called from his bedroom. "Just wait there."

"Whatever," Sam shrugged, heading right into the kitchen. She had just finished a long day at work and she was starving.

She glanced at the table, about to reach for a piece of chicken from the platter, but she remembered how Freddie always liked her to wait for him before she started their meals together, so she turned to the fridge instead.

Freddie may not like it when she started the main course early, but he said nothing about snacking after all.

"Whoa, cake!" Sam grinned, pulling the cake slice out of the fridge. "I can't believe the dork was hiding this from me!"

She wasted no time in scooping up some frosting with her finger and licking it off.

"Oh yeah…that's good stuff," Sam said, closing her eyes in the sensation of it all. She grabbed a fork from the drawer and began to dig in, not slowing down as she devoured the cake in less than thirty seconds.

"Alright, I'm here," Freddie said, coming out of his room, deciding to forget the air freshener. "I hope you're hungry, Sam, because I have a ton of chicken here and a surprise for desert that I think you'll-"

As Freddie spotted the now empty cake plate in Sam's hands, he quickly fell silent.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, tossing the plate into the sink as she came over and gave him a quick kiss.

"S-Sam?" Freddie said slowly. "Did-Was that cake the cake from-from my fridge?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Sam shrugged, sitting down at the table. "It was good."

"But-But that was our desert," Freddie said, still in shock.

"Oh, it was? Sorry, my bad," Sam said. "I was hungry and all stressed from work. See, my boss took out the coffee machine and-"

"Sam, did you eat that entire piece of cake?" Freddie asked, his eyes widening.

"What? Yeah," Sam nodded. "Look, if you want, I'll go out and get us some more cake for us to share after dinner if that will make you happy."

Oh no, Freddie thought to himself. Please tell me this isn't happening!

"Okay, um, baby?" Freddie said, trying to remain calm. "When you were eating the cake…did-did anything, um, fall out?"

"Fall out?" Sam repeated. "What are you talking about? What falls out of cake?"

"So you ate that entire piece?" Freddie said. "Like…all of it?"

"Yes! How is that so hard for you to understand?" Sam said, confused about Freddie's behavior.

"Oh man," Freddie moaned. "Oh man…this is not good."

"What's not good?" Sam demanded.

"I-Sam, we sort of need to get you to the emergency room," Freddie said, quickly taking Sam's hand and helping her to her feet.

"The emergency room?" Sam exclaimed. "Why? Was that cake poison or something?"

"No!"

"Then why do I need to go to the emergency room?"

"I-I can't tell you, okay?" Freddie told her. "But-But just…come on!"

…..

When Sam and Freddie arrived at the emergency room, Sam was still questioning Freddie about what in the world was going on, and Freddie was still refusing to answer.

"Hi, um excuse me?" Freddie said to the nurse at the front desk. "My-My girlfriend needs to see a doctor?"

"Why?" the nurse asked.

"Yeah, why?" Sam snapped, now very irritated with Freddie. "Why was I dragged to a hospital when there's uneaten chicken waiting for me back at your place?"

"Um, Sam?" Freddie said. "Is that a Canadian Fat Cake vending machine over there?"

"What? Where?" Sam gasped, turning around.

"Look," Freddie said quickly, taking advantage of Sam's momentary distraction. "I was gonna propose to my girlfriend tonight. I put the ring in this piece of cake we were gonna have later tonight, but she ate the cake and the ring before I could make that happen!"

"So your girlfriend swallowed her own engagement ring?" the nurse said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes!" Freddie hissed. "But I-I can't have her know about the ring yet! Not until I can properly propose and give her this nice little speech I had planned out and-"

"There's no Canadian Fat Cakes here!" Sam said, turning back towards Freddie. "Now stop making up chiz and tell me why you dragged me here!"

"Alright ma'am, I'm gonna need you to come back with me," the nurse said to Sam. "We're gonna take you back to Dr. Rallings…he's somewhat of an expert in this field."

"Expert in what field?" Sam frowned. "I'm not going to see any doctor until I know what's going on here and-"

"Look, Sam, I-I know how weird this must seem, but just trust me on this, okay?" Freddie said gently. "I-I promise I'll explain everything in a little bit. Just…do this for me, okay?"

"Ma'am? We need to get you back to Dr. Rallings now," the nurse said to Sam again.

"Trust me," Freddie said again.

Sam looked at him. "I-I Fine! But you have some serious explaining to do, Benson!"

As Freddie watched his girlfriend disappear with the nurse, he leaned against the wall, sighing heavily.

Well, so far this night hasn't exactly turned out as I planned, Freddie thought to himself.

…..

About an hour later, a doctor approached Freddie in the waiting room.

"Mr. Benson?"

"Hi, yes, that's me," Freddie said to the man in the white coat. "Did-Did you get my girlfriend's engagement ring out of her stomach?"

"Yes," the doctor nodded, pulling the diamond ring out of his pocket and holding it out towards Freddie. "We were able to get it out quite easily. We just had to give your girlfriend some prune juice and other substances to, er, speed the removal process along."

"Oh," Freddie said, staring at the ring hesitantly.

"We of course sanitized it heavily afterwards," the doctor assured him.

"Oh thank God," Freddie said, breathing a sigh of relief as he took the ring. "Thank you. I-I guess you don't see people coming in here with engagement rings stuck in them too often, do you?"

"You'd be surprised what you see as a doctor," the doctor replied. "Why just last week we had a man rushed in here with an oven mitt stuck in his-"

"Dr. Rallings? You're needed in the ICU," the nurse called over from the front desk.

"Ah, well, I need to be on my way," the doctor told Freddie. "Have a nice evening, Mr. Benson."

"Wait, can I go see Sam now?" Freddie asked.

"Yes, she's been asking for you," he nodded. "You might want to get in there quick…she seemed a bit, er, angry. She's in room 357."

"Great, thanks again," Freddie said.

He took the elevator up to the third floor. As he stood outside Sam's door, he slipped the ring into his pocket and took a deep breath before walking inside the room.

Sam was sitting in a hospital bed wearing a white gown, glaring at Freddie.

"Um..how-how are you doing?" Freddie said lamely.

"Alright, Benson, talk!" Sam said. "Why was I just forced to drink a bunch of gross juices? What is going on?"

"Um, well...see, Sam, it-it turns out…there was something in that cake you ate earlier," Freddie said slowly.

"What?" Sam exclaimed.

"I, um, put something in it that you weren't supposed to find until later," Freddie explained. "When we ate that cake together. But…" he let out a small chuckle. "I should've known you wouldn't wait for me to eat that cake. I mean, that's one of the things I love about you, Sam. You do what you want; you don't let anybody come in the way of what you want."

"What was in the cake?" Sam asked.

Freddie stepped closer to the bed, leaning down to kiss her before reaching back into his pocket and pulling out the engagement ring. "This."

Sam's eyes grew wide. "Is that…That's not…"

Freddie smiled as he lowered himself to one knee beside the hospital bed. "Sam…you're not like other girls. You're loud and blunt and very aggressive, whereas other girls wouldn't ever dream of eating an entire rack of ribs on their own or of flipping truck drivers with barely any effort. But that's what I love! You're your own person. I love never knowing what to expect when I'm around you. I can plan to go to a fancy restaurant with you and wind up at a monster truck rally, having the time of life. I could plan on taking you to see a movie and end up in Canada trying to find you the best maple syrup in the world. And I can plan on proposing to you with the old 'Ring in the Cake' trick only to have you swallow the ring as you inhale the cake. You keep me on my toes, and I couldn't imagine living a life where I wasn't constantly thrown off track. I want to spend the rest of my life with you doing the unexpected. Together. So Samantha Joy Puckett? Will you marry me?"

"I-You-I-" Sam stammered. "I-I really swallowed my engagement ring?"

"It was my own fault," Freddie chuckled. "Eating at high speeds is one of your most famous characteristics. So-So what do you say? Will you marry me?"

Sam's face broke out into a wide smile as she nodded her head. "Yes, nub. I'll marry you."
Freddie jumped to his feet, sliding the ring onto her finger before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her passionately.

"Well," he said when they pulled apart. "I guess we'll always have a good story to tell now."

"Yeah," Sam laughed. "I think this would definitely be a good conversation starter at parties."

She looked down at the ring. "Wow…it's so beautiful baby."

"Like you," Freddie said.

Sam glanced back up at him. "But they like, cleaned this after they, you know, got it out of me, right?"

"Yes," Freddie nodded, rolling his eyes. "It's clean. Although maybe we should use my mom's sterilizing wipes on it too…There's hospital sterile, and then there's Marissa Benson sterile, after all."