A/N: This would be the chapter that tipped this story into the Mature category. Sorry if that turns you off of this story, and if it does thank you for reading up to this point! Reviews welcome and encouraged.


When Aedan was in his seventeenth year, he had entered a tourney held in King Cailan's honor. He had proven to be an adept swordsman, even when on horseback. His prized horse Scarto was the envy of most of his peers, he was a pure bred stallion midnight black in color except for a small white strip down his snout. In the three years since Aedan had received him, they had developed a strong bond. Scarto seemed to sense Aedan's intentions and the two of them moved so gracefully it appeared as if they were gliding across the field. Their understanding of one another allowed them to remain undefeated in the jousting event.

Having never been thrown from his horse, Aedan had earned both respect and animosity amongst his peers. He had shown respect to his opponents, always helping them on to their feet and congratulating them on fighting well. He had sent his opponents gifts of well wishes and good fortune before each event, and he had earned a reputation as one of the most generous and chivalrous nobles in Ferelden. For some people however, it did little to lessen the sting of defeat, especially the younger son of a lord desperate to earn his father's approval. For some the sting festered until it had progressed to ill disguised resentment.

In his last tourney, Aedan had received word from members of his house that they had heard whispers of conspiracy and sabotage among his opponents. Aedan was encouraged to withdraw from the tourney, but his stubbornness and pride would not allow him to back down.

He had been in his tent strapping on the final piece of his armor when a great disturbance coming from outside peaked his curiosity. He stepped outside to witness his prized horse in a frenzy. Scarto was whinnying in fear, standing up on his hind legs and stomping the ground. Two of Aedan's stablemen were trying to gain control of the situation but they could not get close enough to the frantic horse without risking injury.

Aedan hurried over to the fenced area to try and gain control of the situation. He hopped over the small fence and approached Scarto from behind. That one small lapse in judgment would prove to be nearly fatal. Scarto gave a powerful kick with his hind legs, landing squarely on Aedan's chest. He was thrown backwards into the air crashing into the fence on the other side of the corral. He lay motionless on the ground for several moments, trying to determine if he was still alive. He tried to push himself up but a pain unlike anything he had ever known shot through his entire body.

The front of his armor had been dented and caved in. He was trying to gasp for air, but every breath he took felt as if he was inhaling fire. He remembered someone shouting for a healer, Scarto's terrified shrieks echoing in his ears, terrified shouts and screams from the nobles and servants. However he could see none of this, all he could do was lie helplessly on his back staring up at the clear sky trying to breathe in a way that would not cause him agony.

He did not remember losing consciousness. His next coherent thought was waking in a medical tent surrounded by healers. His armor had been removed, his chest covered in bandages and the whole of his left arm. Four of his ribs had been broken, two of them nearly shattered. His arms had been broken in three places and his left lung had nearly collapsed. It has taken months for him to regain full mobility, and even longer to regain his full skill with a sword. The first weeks of his recovery were spent laying in a bed, unable to sleep due to the pain constantly shooting through his body. The healers magic only went so far and it was not long before he was sweating and writing in agony. He had never before experienced pain of such magnitude, it was worse than anything he had ever experienced.

Until now.

At least when he had been recovering from his previous injuries, he had an abundance of beautiful serving girls to give him sponge baths and other pleasures to ease the suffering. His current situation left him with nothing other than his memories as an escape.

His body was broken, every inch of him was covered in bruises, marks, burns and blood both old and new. He was lying in a small pool of his own blood, every move he made reopened old wounds adding to ever increasing puddle.

The mask was the worst part. His face was blistered and burned underneath the iron prison, Holden had held the torch against the iron for so long that the heat had caused the his skin to blister and burn. His vision was limited to just the slits that provided little view of the outside world. His lips were chapped and bleeding from lack of water and the device inserted into his mouth made it impossible to scream or talk without causing further damage and potentially choking on his own blood.

His skin was still on fire from his most recent encounter with Holden. The burning droplets on his skin had been caused by metal that had been melted in a cauldron hanging from the ceiling. Small holes had been cut into the bottom of the massive cauldron allowing the metal to drop onto the victim who was placed strategically below the device right in the path of the tortuous rainstorm.

He had not slept throughout his entire ordeal, only occasionally nodding off for brief periods of time before the pain would jerk him awake again.

His mind was occupied by Leliana. Holden had threatened that she was in danger, that she would be brought to this place and endure the same torment that he was now enduring. It could have been a trick, a way to fully break what little ounce of will he had left. And if that were the case, it had almost certainly worked. He had almost cracked and told the bastard what he wanted to hear just to keep her away from this place. But the rational part of him told him to keep it together. It wasn't true, she was safe. And that was the thought he had held on to, it was the only way he would be able to survive now.

Through the small slits in the iron mask he could just make out the carving in the wall.

If there be a Maker...

He focused on the words saying them over and over again like a chant. He closed his eyes and escaped into his memories, allowing himself to be taken away from the pain. Even if he knew it was only temporary.


Leliana's heart was racing. A combination of excitement, pleasure, happiness, and even a little fear swam in her chest. She had never felt this way before, not even when she had thought herself to be in love with Marjolaine. Of course in hindsight, what she had with Marjolaine was nothing compared to what she had with Aedan.

Aedan lay on top of her with his head resting on her chest, breathing heavily as she ran her fingers through his hair.

The fire in the fireplace had burned low, hot red orange embers glowed against the black of the burned wood. Leliana's skin was on fire, but the heat had nothing to do with the heat emanating from the fireplace, but rather the passion the two of them had just shared.

It had been their first night being intimate, and Leliana was not ashamed to admit she was nervous. She had not been with anyone in such a way since her imprisonment and torture. Her body had suffered irreparable damage from the days of abuse and physical torment she had endured at the hands of her captors. She had been terrified to let Aedan see her, worried that he might see her differently, or worse-treat her like some kind of wounded animal.

She came to his quarters in Redcliffe castle late that evening. They had just pulled Arl Eamon from his poisoned slumber and were preparing to march to Denerim the following morning. Aedan had been very distant after the Arl had suggested the Landsmeet and retired to his room shortly after, skipping the feast that the Arl had prepared. It was clear that he needed time alone to process whatever it was that he was dealing with. She had left him to his thoughts, but her concern for him would not allow her to rest until she had checked in on him.

She paused outside of his door, second guessing herself for only a moment before she gently knocked twice. The door opened almost immediately and it was obvious that he had not been resting. He offered her a tired smile upon seeing her. She did not even have to ask for permission to enter, he took her by the hand and gently pulled her in. He closed the door behind them and wrapped his arms around her waist, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry to disturb you." She said resting her head against his chest.

"You are far from disturbing me, my love."

She marveled at how her heart still fluttered every time he said those words. She looked into his eyes that held a tenderness reserved only for her. "Are you alright? You seemed...distracted earlier."

Aedan stared into the fire for a moment. "I understand Eamon's reasons for calling a Landsmeet. In fact, it's brilliant. But it means facing my past. All of the nobles will remember me not as Aedan Cousland, just "Bryce Cousland's youngest son." Fergus was the oldest, my father was grooming him to take his place at Highever and I was meant to take my place at the head of the army. I was never trained in politics, and these nobles will see that. What if I fail to unite them? I will be letting my father down for a second time."

Leliana looked at him and found herself surprised at just how much he had changed since they had first met. When she had first encountered him in Lothering, he had been a broken shell of a man, refusing to get close to anyone. He kept himself closed off and kept everyone at arms length. Now he was able to open up to her freely, allowing her to penetrate his defenses. She put her hand to his face and turned his head to look at her. "I never had the chance to meet your family, but I have a hard time imagining that they would see you as a failure. You have succeeded where others have failed, you have caused races to set aside ancient feuds in the name of peace. You have survived despite all of the odds, and you made me believe that I am worthy of being loved. You are a great man Aedan, and I am confident when I say that your parents would be proud to call you their son. Just as I am proud to call you the man I love."

He gave her a look she could not read, but her unspoken question was answered when he pulled her into a kiss that took her breath away. Her lips parted allowing his tongue entrance, a soft moan escaping her as his tongue danced over hers. Her head was swimming and she was in danger of losing herself in the passion. A thought occurred to her, causing fear to replace the desire she was feeling. With great difficulty she pulled away from the kiss. She placed a hand on his chest and averted her gaze to avoid the question in his eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his voice thick with concern and longing.

It was Leliana's turn to stare into the fire. She had been both longing for and dreading this moment-the moment when she could be with Aedan completely. But fear was preventing her from proceeding. "Aedan, I-" she began, trying to find the right words. "I am...damaged."

Aedan stared at her in confusion. "What do you mean?"

She turned away from him, standing in front of the fire and wrapping her arms around herself almost protectively. "You know that I was captured in Orlais. I told you that I was imprisoned, and tortured. But I never told you the severity of it. Marjolaine made sure that I would never be the same as I was before." She began lifting her nightdress over her head as she spoke. "They told me that I was too pretty to be a traitor, that they would need to make sure the outside was as wretched as the inside." She slipped the material over her head letting it fall to the floor in a heap. She stood there naked exposing her bare skin, and the scars that marked it. The various criss-cross markings covering almost every inch of skin. Some were light and nearly faded, others were pink or dark purple. There was no way to tell where one began and another ended as they seemed to blend into one another.

She closed her eyes, instantly regretting leaving herself so vulnerable. She feared what was about to come-the rejection, the revulsion, the disgust. How long did she think she could keep up this illusion of happiness? No man would want something so damaged, so broken-not even a man such as Aedan.

She began to breathe heavily as the seconds passed with no response coming from Aedan. She was about to turn and run when she felt his strong arms wrap around her waist. He placed gentle kisses on her shoulder, up her neck pressing his lips close to her ear. "My darling, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Both inside," he ran his fingers along the length of one the more grisly marks. "And out."

A sense of overwhelming relief washed over her, and she reprimanded herself for even thinking such things about him. He was not like any man she had ever known. She sighed contentedly as his lips placed gentle kisses on her neck, his fingers tracing over her flat stomach. His touch remained almost painfully gentle as his fingers trailed up her stomach, higher and higher. He stopped right below the mounds of her breasts, seeming to hesitate.

"We don't-I mean we don't have to," he began. His question was answered as Leliana grabbed his hands and moved them up to her breasts, sighing as his calloused skin ran along her skin. His thumbs ran in slow circles over her erect nipples, sending waves of pleasure through her. She leaned her head back against his shoulder, allowing the pleasure to swim through her mind.

Before she realized what was happening, his fingers were trailing back down her stomach. They inched lower and lower at a maddeningly slow pace until they finally met her wet folds. A small yelp of pleasure escaped her as he began rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves while his other hand remained preoccupied with her other breast. She began breathing heavily as her pleasure increased until she was at the peak and dangerously close to falling over the edge.

Unwilling to let the moment pass so quickly, she summoned what willpower she had left and pulled herself away from his touch. She turned around and planted her mouth on his, not waiting for an invitation as her tongue invaded his mouth and danced over his. He grunted his approval as she began pushing him backwards across the room until they were in front of the large canopy bed. She pushed him backwards onto the soft silk sheets, feeling encouraged as he stared at her with a mixture of love and lust.

She climbed on top of him slowly, her eyes never leaving his. She expertly began to loosen the buttons of his shirt as she trailed kisses down his neck. She pulled the material away to reveal his muscular torso. Every inch of his stomach was rippled with muscle, causing her to smile in approval. She ran her tongue down his stomach to the waistline of his breeches, offering a mischievous smile as she traced the line with her finger tips. She pulled the material down, causing him to groan as he sprang free. His size was a surprise, but a welcome one, and she felt herself nearly drowning in desire for him.

She took his manhood into her hand and rose to her knees. She threw one leg over his waist until she was nearly straddling him, hovering over him. She slowly lowered herself to him, using her hand to guide him into her causing them both to gasp as he filled her.

He slowly raised himself up, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing his lips to her forehead. She looked into his eyes, feeling overwhelmed at the amount of love looking back at her. She adjusted to his size and slowly began rocking into him as he lowered his mouth to her breast. She gripped the back of his neck as he took her into his mouth, causing her to gasp slightly. Maker, he was good at this.

She had never been with anyone in this way before. She had been with her share of sexual partners, but nobody had ever made love to her before. It was all about their pleasure, and the need to conquer a beautiful woman, to prove his manhood by bedding every woman that crossed his path. Aedan was the first real man she had ever been with, he was the embodiment of strength, compassion, and kindness. And the way he loved her made her feel more pleasure than she had ever felt before.

Before she knew what was happening, he flipped her onto her back causing her to squeal in delight. He covered her hands in his, holding them over her head as he began thrusting into her at an almost maddeningly slow pace as if he was afraid he would hurt her.

This was what she loved most about Aedan, how gentle and kind he was, even when most men would let their primal and animal instincts take over. She loved how gentle he was, but right now she needed something else from him.

"Aedan," she croaked out, posing a question within the single word. He seemed understand her meaning, and quickened his pace. She covered his mouth in hers to keep from shouting her pleasure. Her pleasure was mounting and this time she made no effort to stop herself from spilling over the edge.

Her head swam as she felt her pleasure pull her over the edge, followed shortly by her lover's own shuddering release, grunting loudly as he emptied himself into her.

He slowly eased himself out of her, resting his head on her chest breathing heavily.

They had stayed like this for several moments, both lost in their own thoughts. She ran her fingers through his damp hair, feeling a sense of peace she did know she could ever feel.

He raised his head to look at her, offering one of his smiles he reserved especially for her. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face and twirled the strand between his fingers absently.

"What are you thinking about darling?"

He cocked his head in the same adorable way he always did when he was thinking about something serious. "You." He replied simply.

"Oh? And what about me?"

"No matter what happens-with the Landsmeet, the Blight, anything. I can face whatever comes, as long as you're beside me."

She took his hand and gently kissed his fingers. "I will always be beside you, my love."

Leliana finished fastening the leather straps on her armor, thinking about the night they had shared together. She felt her chest tighten with guilt as she thought about the promise she had made to him, and unintentionally broken.

I will always be beside you...

She sheathed the dagger at her hips, trying to shake off the guilt that was threatening to overwhelm her. She had broken a promise the one person she loved more than life itself. She would not allow Aedan to think he had been abandoned, she would not break her promise. She would be beside him, if not in this life then in the next.