Salesman
Eleven-year old Freddie Benson walked up the eight flights of stairs behind his mother. He was moving into his new home today after his mom had gotten a new job as a nurse at the local hospital.
"Now Freddie, I know you must be very, very scared to be moving into a new environment, but don't worry," his mother said. "I'm going to make sure no icky germs or bacteria finds its way into our new home."
"I'm not really that afraid of germs or anything, mom," Freddie said. "I'm more afraid of not making any friends here."
Marissa gasped. "How can you say you're not afraid of germs? Haven't I raised you right?"
"But mom, they're so small and-"
"That's it, mister! I can see you're already rebelling here!" Marissa said firmly, unlocking apartment 8D. "You're getting a tick bath and then you and I are going to sit and do a nice puzzle!"
"Aw, mom!" Freddie groaned as he followed her into the apartment. "Not another tick bath!"
"Freddie!" Marissa squeaked. "Again with the sass? Maybe this isn't the right apartment building for us after all! Now you wait right here, mister, while I go run your bath!"
Freddie sighed as his mother hurried into the bathtub. His mom's overprotectiveness was beginning to get a little out of hand. But he figured it would stop after a few more years. After all, she couldn't hover over him when he was a teenager and force him to take tick baths forever. She'd back off eventually.
Freddie took advantage of his few moments of freedom and looked around the new apartment. It seemed nice, and he supposed it would look even better when all of the boxes that were scattered around were unpacked.
He turned towards the door and his eyes widened when he saw that it was still open a crack; his mom must've not closed it all the way!
This was the chance of a lifetime. Freddie quickly opened the door fully and stepped back out into the hall and looked around.
I wonder if anyone my age lives here, Freddie thought to himself. Maybe I can finally meet some friends that my mom will let me hang out with and-
"Spencer, I don't think dad will be too happy about you using his credit card to buy all these soda bottles," he suddenly heard a voice say from around the corner. "Why do we need all this soda for anyway?"
"I'm going to make a cool robot sculpture!" another voice said happily. "Wait till you see it; it will totally be worth it. Just, um, don't mention this when dad calls, Carly. And tell him I'm still doing great in law school!"
And right the two people turned down the hall, and Freddie saw who was talking.
One of them was a tall adult who was carrying a bunch of bags filled with soda liters, wearing a tie-dyed t-shirt. And standing next to him was a small brunette girl who looked to be about his age.
"But I don't want to lie to dad!" the girl said.
"Carly, Carly, Carly," the man chuckled. "Would I, the wise adult in charge of you, ask you to lie? Just don't say anything! That's not lying!"
"I don't think-" the girl began, but then she caught sight of Freddie. "Hi!" she said brightly.
"H-Hi," Freddie said.
"My name's Carly," the girl smiled. "Hey, are you our new neighbors?"
"Oh, um, yeah, I guess," Freddie nodded. "My name's Freddie."
"Nice to meet you, Freddie, this is Spencer, my older brother," Carly introduced.
"Hey there, Freddie," Spencer said, shaking the small boy's hand. "You're going to love living here. Well, except for our mean doorman…and elevator system is really weird, sometimes you just get random people stopping in the middle of your living room. Oh, and-"
"It's a great building!" Carly cut in quickly, elbowing her brother in the side. "Anyway, I'm so excited to finally have a friend in the building!"
Did she just say I was a friend? Freddie thought excitedly.
"I mean my best friend, Sam, comes over all the time, but now I have someone right across the hall too!" Carly said. "Freddie, why don't you come over to my place? You can help me and Spencer make this really cool sculpture that looks like a dinosaur and a-"
Just then Freddie's apartment door opened up his mother came out.
"Fredward Benson! What are you doing out in this hallway by yourself?" she exclaimed. "I leave you alone for two minutes to get your tick bath ready and you wander off! You could be kidnapped by salesmen or exposed to harmful viruses! You know you can't just-oh, hello," she said, looking over at Carly and Spencer.
"Um hi…you must be Freddie's mother," Spencer said slowly, looking at this woman as if she was from another planet.
"Yes, now who are you?" Marissa snapped.
"Oh, um, I'm Spencer," Spencer replied. "And me and my little sister Carly live across the hall from you guys."
"Oh, splendid!"
"I-I feel that was a little sarcastic," Spencer said, confused. "Um, anyway, Mrs.…Benson, is it? My little sister Carly just wanted to know if your son could come over and hang out for a little bit."
"Can I mom, please?" Freddie begged.
"Absolutely not," Marissa said firmly. "You're far too young to gallivant around with strangers! Now you come with me right now so I can give you a tick bath!"
"Tick bath?" Carly repeated.
"Gallivant?" Spencer frowned.
"But mom!" Freddie moaned. "I'm eleven years old! I think I can handle going across the hall and-"
"More sass?" Marissa gasped. "That's it, mister! I'm canceling the nature channel! You must be picking up this rebellious attitude from that show about the monkeys!"
"Look, Mrs. Benson, Freddie will be fine across the hall," Spencer said quickly. "I'll be there the whole time!"
Marissa stared at his armful of soda bottles and colorful shirt and pursed her lips.
"You can even come over too!" Carly said. "Right, Spencer?"
"What? Oh, yeah, right," Spencer nodded. "Please, new neighbor who apparently gives her son tick baths…stay for dinner. I'm making my famous recipe!"
"Mom, please?" Freddie said again. "I promise I'll take a tick bath every day next week without complaining or anything!"
Marissa let out a long sigh. "Well…alright. I assume your home has been thoroughly disinfected within the last ten days?"
"Oh, yes…of course," Spencer nodded, opening his door.
Freddie could hardly believe his luck! He was going to get to hang out with someone other than his mom or weird cousins for once!
"Ah, what an…interesting home you have," Marissa cringed, looking around the apartment, which was filled with colors and odd looking sculptures; much nicer, in Freddie's opinion, than his own drab home.
"Come on, Freddie," Carly smiled, taking his hand as she led him over to the stairs. "Let me show you around!"
"Freddie! Careful on the stairs!" Marissa called after the two kids. "You don't want to fall and get a concussion!"
"Sorry about my mom," Freddie said as he followed Carly. "She's a little…weird."
"Don't worry about it," Carly chuckled. "Hey, you said you were eleven? I am too! Are you going to go to Ridgeway?"
"Yeah, I am," Freddie nodded.
"Awesome! I go there too!" Carly said, turning down a small hall and pushing open a glass door that led to a large, cluttered room. "You'll really like it."
Freddie beamed. This girl was the nicest girl he had ever met! She had the prettiest hair he had ever seen too, and she smelled like watermelon.
I think I really like this girl, Freddie thought to himself. In fact…I love her! Who wouldn't love someone as kind and sweet and pretty as Carly?
"So this is sort of our everything room," Carly said as they stepped into the room. "Spencer stores his art supplies here, I do homework up here and me and my friend Sam watch T.V. and just chill out up here. Hey, you'll have to meet Sam, too! You'll love her."
Not as much as I love you, Freddie thought.
"So," he said quickly. "Where are your parents? Is Spencer just watching you until they get home?"
"No," Carly laughed. "Spencer's kind of like my parent…even though he's a little goofy. See, a couple years ago my dad's naval base got stationed overseas. So I live here with Spencer."
"Whoa…" Freddie said. "You're so lucky."
"Yeah, Spencer's the best," Carly nodded. "So, what do you like to do for fun?"
"I like computers," Freddie stuff. "And cameras. Oh, and Galaxy Wars. Do you like that stuff?"
"Um, well, no, not really," Carly admitted.
That's okay, you're still perfect.
"But I'm sure we'll still be really good friends," Carly said. "Hey, why don't I show you some of the textbooks you'll be using at school so you can-"
"Carly!" Spencer called upstairs. "Sam just got here! She's on her way up!"
"Oh, perfect!" Carly smiled. "Now you can meet Sam!"
Freddie grinned excitedly. Two new friends? How could this day get any better?
"Hey, Carls," a small blonde girl said, letting herself into the room. "Who's that crazy lady downstairs with Spencer? She's cleaning all your counters with this weird-who's that guy?"
She looked over at Freddie with a scowl on her face.
"Hi," Freddie said politely.
"Whatever," Sam snapped. She turned to Carly. "So who's the doof?"
"He's not a doof, Sam," Carly sighed. "This is Freddie. Him and his mom moved across the hall. He's going to be going to Ridgeway with us, isn't that cool?"
Sam cringed. "Cool? Carly, this kid looks like he doesn't even know the definition of the word cool."
"Yes I do!" Freddie said indignantly. How could the sweet, polite Carly be friends with someone who was such a-a-mean person?
"Judging by your geeky shirt and lame shoes, I doubt it," Sam smirked.
"Sam!" Carly said firmly. "Be nice. Apologize to Freddie so we can all play a game or something while we wait for Spencer to finish cooking dinner."
"But he-"
"Sam…"
Sam sighed and turned back to Freddie. "Sorry…"
"Um, it's okay," Freddie mumbled.
"Good," Carly smiled. "Now I'm going to run up to my room to go get Monopoly. Spencer used all the game pieces and melted them because he got bored the other day, but we can use checkers pieces instead. Be back in a sec!"
As Carly ran out, Freddie couldn't help but stare at Sam.
I wonder why she seems so mean? he thought. But oh well, at least Carly's not that way. Maybe one day her and I could get married! That would be the best! Man, being in love is awesome!
"What are you looking at, nub?" Sam snapped.
"What's a nub?" Freddie asked.
"What you are," Sam said simply. She plopped down on one of the beanbag chairs and pulled a bag of potato chips out of her backpack. "Man, I can't believe Carly would actually invite someone as dumb-looking as you up here. She's too nice sometimes…"
"Hey, um, Carly said we'd be eating dinner soon," Freddie said. "Maybe-Maybe you shouldn't be eating those chips."
Sam stood back up and grabbed the collar of Freddie's shirt. "No one. Tells Sam Puckett. What to do. Got it?"
"Um, y-yes," Freddie gulped quickly. "Now let go of my shirt! You're getting crumbs all over it."
Sam rolled her eyes as she released him, causing him to stumble onto the floor.
"That was really rude of you, you know," Freddie said, straightening his collar.
"Who cares?" Sam shrugged. "I just hope Carly gets bored of you soon and kicks you to the curb."
"Carly's not going to get bored of me!" Freddie exclaimed. "Because I love her! In fact, one day, we're going to get married!"
"Oh, are you now?" Sam laughed. "No one would marry you if you were the last guy on earth."
"Hey!" Freddie frowned. "You're just a-a-bully!"
"Nice comeback," Sam said sarcastically, finishing up the last of her chips.
She quickly stepped over and shoved the bag down his pants.
"Ah! What did you do that for?" Freddie demanded. "Now I have crumbs where crumbs should never be!"
"Because it was fun," Sam shrugged. "I'm gonna go grab a soda."
And with that she turned on her heel and headed out of the room.
As Freddie yanked the bag of chips out of his pants, he felt really steamed!
That Sam Puckett is just a jerk! he thought furiously. Good think Carly's nothing like her. I mean it, I really don't like that Sam. I don't, I don't!
….
Twelve years later
"-And do you, Samantha Puckett, take Fredward Benson, to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health? Till death do you part?"
Sam smiled across at Freddie. "I do."
"And do you, Fredward Benson, take Samantha Puckett to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health? Till death do you part?"
"I do," Freddie beamed at Sam, feeling like the luckiest man alive. "I do."
