Some hurt!Alec and guilty!Clary!
"Clary, I need you to come on a mission with me." She was startled by the words, but even more startled by the person who's mouth they came out of. She looked up from her sketchbook, eyeing Alec leaning on her door frame.
"Why me?" She demanded, closing her sketchbook. Alec rolled his eyes, drawing up to his full height and crossing his arms.
"Because I'm the leader of the institute, and I said so." He answered curtly. "Be in the ops room in five." He glanced around her room, as if looking for something, before spinning on his heel and stalking from her room. Clary stared after him, eyes narrowed.
"What crawled up his butt and died?" She murmured to herself before shrugging and standing up.
"You're late." Were Alec's first words to her when she finally entered the ops room. She rolled her eyes, glancing down at her watch.
"By one minute. Calm your titties." She muttered. Alec narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything more on the matter.
"Have you hunted a Mantid before?" Alec asked, gesturing towards the picture on the ops table. Clary's face contorted into one of mute disgust and she shook her head. "There have been a few reports of some terrorizing mundanes in lower Brooklyn." He looked over the table at her, frowning at the dazed look on her face. "Are you paying attention, Fray?" He snapped, causing her to jump slightly.
"Sorry, I haven't been sleeping well." She replied.
"I didn't ask if you'd been sleeping okay. I asked if you were listening." Alec replied, squishing what little concern he may have for her.
"Sorry." Clary murmured, shaking her head and slapping her cheeks softly. "Okay, what do I need to know about Mantids?" She asked. Alec glared at her silently for a few more seconds before leaning his palms onto the table and staring at the 3D picture of the demon.
"They're strong. Really strong. They like to crush." He glanced at her, startled to see her staring at him in rapt attention. "They can kill a man with one snap of those pincers." He glanced at the picture again.
"So, avoid the pincers." Clary replied, a deep scowl twisting onto her face. "Noted."
Clary liked New York. Even now, at 11pm, the city was bustling and the two glamoured shadowhunters had to dodge mundanes on the sidewalk. Alec strode ahead of her, all business, barely looking back to make sure she was keeping up. She glared at his back, wondering why he suddenly seemed to dislike her again. They had been making progress, sometimes even having civil conversations without wanting to kill each other. But now, it seemed like he had reverted back to his original attitude of hating her.
"Why did you choose me to come with you?" She asked, jogging to catch up to him and matching his strides with her own. Alec shot a sour look at her from the corner of his eye and didn't answer. "Okay, or not." She shrugged, twirling one of her kindjals around.
"Stop messing with that, it's not a toy." Alec muttered, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the childlike woman next to him.
"Yes, father." She mocked but sheathed her blade and shoved her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. "Hey, Alec, is everything okay with you?" The black-haired boy came to a stop and turned with sudden vigor, making Clary stumble back, eyes wide at the sight of his darkened face, teeth bared angrily.
"Stop. Asking. Questions. I'm not in the mood, Fray. Let's just get this fucking hunt done so that I don't have to deal with your incessant talking the rest of the night." Before she could respond, he spun around and stalked off. Clary watched him go with her mouth dropped open, affronted. How dare he speak to her like that?! With no other choice, Clary hurried after him, her mouth pressed into a thin line. All of the progress she felt like she'd been making with him seemed to have gone out the window. She wondered if it had something to do with Jace. The two of them had drawn further apart ever since he'd returned from his stint with Valentine. Not by any fault of their own, they were both just busy with other things, but she knew Jace hadn't been happy about it. Clary wondered if he'd been talking to Alec about it, and was angry with her for pushing him away, or making him talk to Alec so much about her.
"Shh." Alec suddenly hissed, throwing his arm out and barring her forward movement. Clary crept closer to him, peering over his shoulder to see the Mantid down a side alley to their right. It looked to be rifling through some trash on the ground, but as she activated her night vision rune, Clary could see that it was actually a body. She clamped her lips together, pushing back on the vomit rising in her throat. Alec glanced over, slate blue eyes meeting her own green ones, and flickered back towards the Mantid. With silent stealth, he drew his bow off of his back and knocked one of his runed arrows. Clary drew her kindjals, but Alec shook his head, pressing his finger to his lips. The girl nodded, allowing them to slide silently back into their sheaths, and pulled her stele from her boot instead. Alec nodded as he watched her draw her sunshine rune on her hand before taking a deep breath, aiming down the arrow, and watching it sail forward.
His arrow embedded itself into the side of the Mantid, but before it had time to react, Clary had let a blast loose, disintegrating it into nothing and leaving a pile of Ichor on the ground. Alec stood from his stooped position, staring at the body on the ground and was barely able to repress the shiver. Poor mundane.
"I'll call Luke and let him know we've got a body here." Clary said softly, pulling her phone from her pocket.
"No, we need to make sure the area is clear first. There could be another one." Alec responded, only the second thing he'd said to her since they'd left the Institute.
"Alec, it's fine. Let me just call Luke." Clary replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm sure we'd hear or see if there was another one near. I've got my hearing enhancement rune active anyway."
"Clary, stop." Alec knocked her hand away as she unlocked her phone. "They'll see the light."
"It's fine." She replied again, turning around and scrolling through her contacts until she found Luke's name. As the phone was ringing, Alec suddenly gave a shout.
"Clary!" She turned, startled to see a Mantid claw headed straight for her, but before she could react, Alec had shoved her aside. Clary watched with wide, sullen, eyes as the Mantid's claw clamped around Alec's arm, and winced at the audible crack. She was impressed that Alec didn't even make a sound, only grunted as he jabbed a seraph blade into the thing's body, and jolted away as it exploded Ichor, just barely missing him.
"Oh my god, Alec! Are you okay?!" She scrambled towards him, frowning as she saw his shattered arm and mangled bicep. Alec sighed miserably and shoved himself to his feet with one hand, glaring down at her with an expression so dark she couldn't help the shiver that ran through her. She'd never seen Alec so mad.
"Call Luke." He snapped, turning away as she nodded softly and picked up her discarded phone.
"Clary?" Luke's voice, warm and comforting, picked up on the second ring.
"Hey Luke. Alec and I took care of some Mantids in lower Brooklyn, but there's a body. A mundane." She murmured miserably.
"Sounds like the mission didn't go so great. I'll send a squad out, but you might want to get out of there." Luke warned. Clary nodded even though he couldn't see her.
"Yeah, we're headed back to the Institute. Thanks Luke." When she looked up, Alec was already stalking away, his right arm dangling awkwardly at his side. Clary bit her lip before hurrying after him. She hadn't meant for Alec to get hurt. She had honestly thought she would be able to hear if there was another one, and besides, Alec had thrown her into this hunt with very little information on a demon that she had never faced before. It was kind of his fault that he'd been hurt.
She shook her head at herself. That wasn't true, and it wasn't fair. She was supposed to have his back, and she had failed. That was on her. She had failed to listen to him, failed to follow his direction, and he'd been injured because of it.
"Alec, I'm sorry." She said, hurrying to catch up to him. The boy didn't acknowledge her, only lengthened his strides to pull ahead of her. Clary frowned, heaving a large sigh, and put her head down.
The two entered the Institute to find Jace and Izzy in the ops room, dirty and covering in Ichor. It looked like they had just returned from a mission as well. They were talking loudly and laughing jovially, but when Alec entered the room and threw his bow onto the table before stalking towards the infirmary, all went quiet. Clary stood by the weapons rack, biting her lip and blinking quickly.
"What happened?" Jace was the first to break the silence, turning to look at the red head next to him. Clary sighed miserably and shook her head.
"It was my fault. We were hunting Mantids and I didn't watch his back like I should have. He took the blow for me, but his arm…" She trailed off, shaking her head and turning to look at Jace. His golden eyes searched hers, hand reaching out to grip her shoulder softly.
"It's not your fault, Clary. We get hurt all the time." He assured her. Clary shook her head, shoving Jace's arm off of her shoulder.
"It is my fault. Alec trusted me to watch his back and I didn't. And now his arm is mangled, and it's because of me." She shouldered past Jace, wincing internally at how hard she shoulder checked him, and went to follow Alec.
He was sitting in the infirmary wincing as he activated his own Iratze. Clary was about to go in, but Izzy shouldered past her violently, sending her a glare. Clary frowned, knowing she deserved that.
"Hey big brother. Your arm's a little messed up." Izzy murmured.
"Not just my arm." Alec lifted his shirt and Clary gasped, not able to help the tears that rose quickly to her eyes. Somehow, Alec had managed to conceal a large gash in his abdomen, but he was starting to look pale and the Iratze wasn't doing anything for it.
"Lay back, Alec. Jesus. I have to send a fire message to mom." The girl turned, eyeing Clary at the entrance to the Infirmary. "Actually, you can do that. It's your fault he's hurt, so you get to tell mom why." She snapped, narrowing her eyes. "You can let her know that you got distracted on a mission and now her son has demon venom running through his veins. How does that sound?" She continued.
"I'll go do that." Clary practically whispered, turning and fleeing before Izzy could unleash the full power of her rage onto the red headed shadowhunter.
Maryse, surprisingly, wasn't upset with Clary. Her fire message was motherly, and concerned, but nothing like the fiery rage Izzy had thrown at her, or the cold anger that radiated from Alec. She was worried, yes, but assured Clary that shadowhunters were used to this sort of injury. It didn't make Clary feel any less guilty.
When she returned to the Infirmary, Alec was practically screaming in pain. She'd heard it from all the way down the hallway but seeing the state he was in was enough to make her cry. He was writhing on the bed, screams erupting from his mouth, and his clammy hands twisted into the bed sheets. Jace was standing at his head stroking his hair and speaking softly as Izzy did professional looking sutures over the gash in his wound.
"Clary get over here and help." She snapped, not even looking up. Clary hurried over to her side, gasping as Izzy handed her a vial. "I need you to give him that. Have you ever had an IV?" She demanded, still not looking at the red head.
"Yes." Clary whispered.
"Good. It goes where you would put an IV. Right in the elbow. It's an antivenom." Clary barely heard her over Alec's cracked screams and sobs.
Alec could only feel fire. He knew Jace and Izzy were there, and Clary had just joined them. He could faintly hear them talking but was screaming too loud to hear what exactly they were saying.
Demon venom was an interesting thing. Some downworlders took it in small doses for the hallucinogenic effect. Alec felt like he was standing in his own mind, watching all of his childhood memories fly past him at lighting speed. Memories of Jace, of Izzy, of practicing with his bow. Even some more recent memories, like the day Clary had shown up at the Institute with Jace with demon venom much like this in her veins. The day he'd met Magnus, and the first day he'd kissed the man, at his own wedding. Recent memories mixed with childhood memories mixed with hallucinations until Alec couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. All he knew was pain, and tears.
But there was something…comforting. There were hands in his hair, not ones that he recognized. A soft voice singing shakily into his ear. Who was it? Why was she crying?
"Alec, I'm so sorry." There was a sniffle, the hands in his hair paused, and he suddenly realized they were shaking. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."
"Yes, it is." That was a voice he knew. Izzy, and she was angry. "What the fuck were you thinking, Clary?!" She demanded. Alec listened hazily, too tired to open his eyes. "Alec could have died!" Izzy continued. Alec wanted to open his eyes, wanted to tell her to go easy on Clary, that he hadn't really been fair to the red head and it wasn't entirely her fault, but he couldn't.
And then he was watching Clary's mom die, seeing her blood red on his owns hands. Watching Clary realize that her mom was dead, and Alec had killed her.
"You don't deserve to live anymore." A vision of Jocelyn, but not really, with black eyes and razor-sharp teeth rising above him, morphing into every person he'd ever know, spewing hate at him. He faintly heard himself let out a whimper.
"I'm sorry, Alec. I promise I'll make it up to you." Alec didn't know much at the time, couldn't really decipher between reality and his dreams. But he did know that the hands in his hair and the singing in his ear comforted him. He found the strength to reach up, gripping Clary's small arm in his hand.
"Stay."
The next time Alec awoke, he felt much better. He groaned as he opened his eyes, rolling a stiff neck back and forth, and was startled to see Clary sitting in a chair next to his bed, head lolled to the side and eyes closed. He stared at her, struggling to remember what had happened the night before. He could remember the mission, remember seeing that Mantid coming for Clary and just reacting, and he remembered…Clary had sat with him all night. Just like he'd asked her to, she'd stayed. He couldn't help the small smile that lifted the corners of his lips at that.
"Big brother!" Izzy's jovial voice pulled him from his thoughts and Clary jumped awake, hand immediately coming to the blade on her hip. When she realized it was just Izzy, she relaxed, stretching her neck from side to side and standing up. "I'm here to check your wound!" She sent a sideways look at Clary before pulling the bed sheets back. Alec hummed as she pulled his shirt up and peeled the bandage off, revealing perfectly white skin and a small, thin scar. "Perfectly healed." She crumpled the bandage in her hand before helping Alec sit up. He stretched his stiff muscles before climbing to his feet. "There's breakfast in the kitchen." At Alec's disgusted face, she rolled her eyes. "Jace made it. I'll meet you there." Izzy glanced between her brother and Clary before leaving the room.
"Alec-"
"I'm sorry." Alec interrupted her, shaking his head. "I wasn't fair to you yesterday. I was in a bad mood, and I took it out on you. I put you on a mission without proper information and put both of our lives at stake. I won't do that again. I'm sorry, Clary. Thank you." The corners of his lips lifted softly, and he hesitantly reached out, ruffling Clary's hair softly before dipping his head in a nod and walking past her out of the infirmary.
Clary stared after him, mouth agape and head shaking slowly. She would never understand Alec Lightwood.
