Chapter Two
"All right, Snivellus?" said James loudly.
Severus inwardly cringed, remembering that horrible name. He looked down at his hands, dropping his bag on the grass, and started grabbing his wand when James shouted, "Expelliarmus!"
Severus groaned as he watched his wand fly into the air and fall with a thud into the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter. Severus berated himself for being caught off guard like this. He'd already lived through this once. Surely he would have known better than to let James make a fool of him again, but Severus knew he hadn't been expecting to be reliving this day, to be starting his life over from this point. Seeing James Potter's taunting, jeering face again made an old hatred burn inside Severus. Why did it have to be this day of all days that had to be his first in his new life?
Then, "Impedimenta!" James said, pointing his wand at Severus, who was now knocked off his feet, halfway through a dive toward his own fallen wand.
For the second time, Severus berated himself. He had the mind, skill, and experience of a grown wizard who had fought in a war, who had been a spy, who had seen more death than any of these other sixteen-year-old boys, and yet, in his younger body, he felt just as awkward and socially inept as he had the first time around. Had nothing changed?
Well, he would make sure things were changed this time around. As Severus lay on the ground panting, James and Sirius advancing on him, wands up, a crowd gathered around. Wormtail was also on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around the seated Lupin, whose nose was conveniently buried in a book, to get a clearer view.
I ought to just grab my wand and fight back, show them a thing or two, thought Severus savagely, but then he remembered: Lily needed to come to his rescue. If he fought off the other boys on his own, she would never come, and he would never right the wrong that had messed everything up forever. Reluctantly, Severus swallowed his pride and allowed the boys to have their fun at his expense... for now.
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.
"I was watching him - his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it; they won't be able to read a word."
Several people watching laughed. Wormtail, the little rat, sniggered shrilly. Severus tried to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.
"You - wait," he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing. "You - wait... until I... prove you lot all wrong."
Severus smirked inside. He had been able to finish the sentence this time around.
"That's rich, coming from you," said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to prove, Snivelly? That your nose is the largest in the world?"
In spite of himself, for seeing James and Sirius alive and tormenting him once again was humiliating beyond anything he could imagine, Severus swore loudly and tried to utter hexes, but with his wand still ten feet away, nothing happened.
"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. "Scourgify!"
Pink soap bubbles streamed from Severus's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him, but he endured it, for he knew what would happen next...
"Leave him ALONE!"
Severus glanced in the direction of her voice, and his black eyes settled upon young Lily Evans. She was ever as beautiful as he remembered, and more. His heart thudded heavily inside with unbound emotion.
Lily...oh, Lily...
James and Sirius were also looking around. James's free hand jumped, much to Severus's dismay, to his hair. He purposefully messed it up.
"All right, Evans?" said James, trying to sound mature and impressive.
"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike, and Severus felt his heart skip a beat. "What's he done to you?"
"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."
Many of the surrounding watchers laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and neither did Lily. Severus took notice of Lupin's behavior this time around and realized that perhaps Lupin had never been as bad as the others, but right now, he had eyes only for Lily.
"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."
"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly. "Go on... Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."
Severus felt the Impediment Jinx wearing off now. He inched toward his wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.
Severus beamed on the inside. He was so proud of Lily. Seeing her stand up to James like that only endeared her to him more.
"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, turning back to Severus. "OY!"
Severus had directed his wand straight at James, knocking him off his feet. James recovered too quickly, and Severus wondered if he shouldn't have used Sectumsempra like last time, but he didn't want to resort to using Dark Magic. Next thing he knew, Severus was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head, and he knew his skinny, pallid legs and greying underpants were being exposed for all the school to see.
He endured this utter humiliation because he knew he had to. Only a little longer, now...
Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter.
Lily's voice came again: "Let him down!"
Certainly," said James, and he jerked his wand upward. Severus fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "Locomotor mortis!" and Severus keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.
"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.
"Take the curse off him, then!"
James sighed deeply, then turned to Severus and muttered the countercurse.
"There you go," he said, as Severus struggled to his feet again. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -"
"I don't-" Severus started to say. "I don't need your help, Lily," he stated firmly, looking at Lily instead of James. He was still far too embarrassed to dare thank her in front of the others, but at least he had not called her a Mudblood. That word would never taint his lips again. His eyes gazed into Lily's, but she still looked hurt because he had refused her help.
Oh, God, no, Severus pleaded. Please, please, please, Lily...don't hate me.
Lily turned and ran away, leaving Severus prey to the Marauders again, but they were not going to humiliate him further, not this time! He was so quick with his wand, they hadn't seen it coming. All four of them, including Lupin for good measure, were Stupefied within five seconds. Smirking, Severus left the scene, leaving a stunned crowd behind.
That'll show them I can handle myself...four teenagers against a grown wizard...ha.
Severus sobered as he neared the castle. While he had saved himself the horrible embarrassment of being completely depants-ed in front of the school, he was still concerned about Lily. He wasn't sure where he would find her, but he remembered one of their favorite meeting spots, a broom closet on the fifth floor, and went there.
He tentatively reached for the handle when he reached his destination. If Lily was behind this door, he would be speaking with her for the first time in years, only she didn't know that. He couldn't act like the adult Severus. Trying to remember what it was like to be a teenager again, Severus sighed and opened the door. There she was. Lily glared at him with red eyes. A pang of guilt hit him. Her eyes looked so accusing.
If only you knew all the things you have a right to accuse me for, Severus thought bitterly. I killed you, Lily.
The desperation must have shown on his face, for Lily's expression softened as she asked, "Sev, are you... all right?"
"Me?" he asked bitterly. "Lily, I... I-"
There were a million things he wanted to say to her... to beg for her forgiveness and to confess his love, but he knew he would only scare her. This sixteen-year-old girl sitting in front of him knew nothing of what had happened in that other world.
"I'm sorry," he said simply. "I didn't mean for you to cry."
He sat down next to her, and Lily released a choked sob, reaching for his hand with hers. "Oh, Sev... when will you learn that I'm only trying to help? I know you're perfectly capable to taking care of yourself, but... but I hate to see them treat you this way. Potter is just plain awful... saying you deserve to be tormented because you exist. That's a terrible thing to say to someone."
As she spoke such kind words, Severus felt like he deserved none of them. In spite of himself, he muttered, "Maybe he's right."
"What?" asked Lily, aghast, her grip tightening on his hand. She took her other hand and forced him to meet her eyes. Glaring at him, she stated, "Don't you ever say that, Severus Snape. You're worth twelve of Potter any day of the week. He doesn't know you like I know you."
"Thank Merlin for that," Severus quipped, smirking, unable to help himself. "I wouldn't want Potter sitting in a broom closet with me, holding my hand."
Lily smiled and giggled. "Really, Sev... I mean it. You're my best friend... You're witty in your own way, and you're brilliant. You shared this world with me before anyone else, and I'll always have you to thank for that."
"Yes, well... I try," Severus said awkwardly, overwhelmed by emotion.
They sat there in silence for a while, holding hands. After a while, Severus whispered, "I'm sorry again... for making you cry back there. I do appreciate what you were doing for me. Thank you, Lily."
Stunned, Lily joked, "And when did you start dishing out such gratitude, Sev?"
"Right now," he said confidently. "Right now, Lily."
Author's Note: Much of this chapter is based on chapter 28, "Snape's Worst Memory," from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, p. 645-648. Several lines are directly taken from the original text or changed somewhat.
Lily's statement to Severus about him being worth "twelve of Potter" is a reference to Harry's statement to Neville in Philosopher's Stone about him being worth "twelve of Malfoy." I always loved that line.
