Chapter 66: Blackmail

The next morning, Kurt woke up with his head on Sam's chest, Sam's arm secured around his waist. Kurt smiled, and looked up at Sam's sweet face.

Sam was sound asleep, his mouth open slightly as he softly snored. His hair had fallen into his face as he slept, and Kurt chuckled. He brought his hand up to brush the hair out of Sam's eyes and let his fingers trail over Sam's cheek. Sam nuzzled into the hand as he slept, and Kurt grinned.

Kurt sat up, and pulled Sam's arm off his waist before slipping off the bed.

Kurt peeked over the couch at Puck. The mohawked boy was passed out, snoring louder than Sam was.

Kurt snuck over to the hidden phones and turned the videos off, before pocketing them and heading for the en suite and relieving himself. He emerged and found Sam making his way over.

"Morning." He said, scrubbing a hand over his face as he spoke to Kurt.

"Good morning." Kurt kissed Sam's cheek. "I'm going to make breakfast. Come join me when you're ready."

"Mmm, 'kay." Sam passed into the washroom and closed the door.

Kurt walked over to his beside table and unlocked it, pulling out Puck's phone and taking it upstairs with him.


Kurt set the three phones on the counter and set about taking out ingredients and utensils needed to make the pancakes and waffles. The first batch of pancakes and coffee were finished when Sam finally made his way up.

"Hey, where's my-" Sam cut himself off. "Nevermind."

Kurt looked over to see Sam pick up his phone.

"Have you seen the videos yet?" Sam asked.

"Not yet. Thought we'd do that once our guest left." Kurt said, removing another chocolate chip and strawberry pancake from the frying pan. "Can you start the waffles? Waffle maker is ready, just pour the batter in and close the lid."

"Sure." Sam picked up the bowl and poured some batter into the waffle maker. "What kind are they?"

"Chocolate chip-banana." Kurt said, flipping another pancake.

"Yum. Sounds good." Sam reached over and turned Kurt's face towards him. Sam gave a long, slow, and sweet kiss to Kurt before pulling back and licking his lips. "But you taste better."

"You're just saying that." Kurt smiled.

"No, I mean it." Sam insisted, turning the waffle maker. "You always taste good."

"Mmmm, so do you." Kurt leaned in and kissed Sam again, this time, letting their tongues touch. "Minty."

"Yeah, I brushed my teeth." Sam swooped in for another long kiss after taking the waffle out of the maker and pouring in more batter.

"Mmmm, careful. Don't want my Dad coming in and seeing us going at each other." Kurt said, leaning back, breathless.

"Yeah, but remember what I said last night." Sam looked at Kurt, and Kurt blushed.

"I remember." Kurt turned back to the pancakes, taking them out of the pan and Sam turned the waffle maker again.

"So, Blaine." Sam said, looking to Kurt. "Think he'd be our guest's type?"

"Maybe." Kurt said. "I know Blaine is single, he wouldn't mind me setting him up with someone. But Puck's another story."

"Yeah, I doubt he'll agree readily to date Blaine." Sam said.

"Not only that, he won't admit to being into guys." Kurt pointed out, pouring coffee into four cups.

"Yeah, there's that too." Sam said, taking the cup Kurt handed to him.

"Milk and sugar?" Kurt asked, making his and his Dad's the way they liked it.

"Yeah, thanks." Sam made his, and sipped.

"Maybe I can blackmail him into telling me, if I hold his phone hostage." Kurt said.

"How?" Sam asked.

"I don't know." Kurt admitted. "I can only think of one way to do it."

"Same way as last night?" Sam quizzed, sipping his coffee.

"Unfortunately, yes." Kurt nodded.

"If you have to." Sam said, kissing Kurt's cheek. "I know you wouldn't otherwise, but we both know Puck is stubborn that way."

"Yeah, he is." Kurt replied. "Maybe I can blackmail him with the videos we got."

"That will definitely work." Sam smiled. "I say, do it."

"You're the best." Kurt kissed Sam lightly.

"Oh, I know." Sam smiled against Kurt's lips.

"Anyways, how are we gonna get Blaine and Puck together?" Sam asked when he pulled back.

"I could bring Blaine to the next football game. He loves football." Kurt suggested.

"Yeah, then you can point Puck out to him." Sam said, starting another waffle.

"Yeah. Puck and Blaine have a few things in common,, like singing, football, and guys." Kurt said. "Who knows what else they'd have in common?"

"Only one way to find out." Kurt said, finishing the pancakes and turning the burner off.

"Yeah. Hopefully we can get them together." Sam said.

"We can. Just may take some time."

"Some time for what?" Burt said, entering the kitchen.

"For the waffles to be done, and for Puck to get up." Kurt answered, handing Burt the coffee he had prepared.

"Want me to go wake him?" Sam asked.

"No, I'll do it." Kurt said, pocketing Puck's phone and heading for the stairs. "I got pancake batter on my shirt, so I can wake him after I change. Why don't you and Dad start eating, Puck and I will be up in a few minutes."

"Sounds good to me." Burt got out the plates and Sam started putting pancakes and waffles on them as Kurt went down the stairs.

"Sam, if we're not back in five or so, come get us." Kurt said, making his descent to his room.

"Will do." Sam replied.


Kurt walked down to his room and pulled off his shirt. He tossed it in the laundry hamper and walked to his dresser.

"Puck, pancakes and waffles are done!" Kurt said, opening the dresser drawer.

"NNNghhrr." Puck said, shifting on the couch.

Kurt sighed as he made his way over to the couch. He rounded around and crouched, holding his shirt in his hand.

"Puck, pancakes and waffles are ready!" Kurt said, leaning in to the sleeping boys' ear.

"I'm not falling for that again, Mama." Puck mumbled into the pillow.

"Puck, get off my couch and go eat breakfast." Kurt said, smacking the back of Puck's head.

"What the-" Puck's eyes shot open, and he rolled off the couch, landing face to face on Kurt.

"Uhhh," Puck said, staring down into Kurt's face.

"Good morning." Kurt smirked, feeling Puck's morning wood against him.

"Puck, I know you're my friend, but that's all that is. As hot as you are, this-" Kurt ground his hips up into Puck as he wrapped his arms around Puck's waist. "This isn't for you. My boyfriend-"

"Is right here." An amused voice spoke.

Kurt and Puck looked to see Sam standing over them, a smirk on his face while his arms were crossed.

"Puckerman, you putting the moves on my man?" Sam teased.

"Uh, no! Of course not!" Puck scrambled off of Kurt, breaking his hold, and blushed. Sam reached down and took Kurt's hand, hauling him to his feet. "I let you come down here for five minutes, and you're already jumping on to the next guy?"

Sam joked around, putting an arm around his boyfriend.

"You know you're the only one for me, Baby." Kurt said, leaning in to kiss Sam.

"Seriously, I'm still here." Puck complained.

"Didn't I tell you to go get breakfast?" Kurt said, looking back at Puck.

Puck grumbled and made his way to the washroom. The boys watched as the door closed.

"Hurry up and change your shirt." Sam said. "Your Dad threatened to eat the rest of the pancakes and waffles if you didn't."

Kurt laughed.

"He can certainly try, but he's no Finn Hudon." He said.

"That's for sure." Sam made his way upstairs and Kurt went to pick up his shirt from the floor.

"Hey, Hummel." Kurt turned around to see Puck emerge from the en suite.

"Yes, Puck?" Kurt said, giving an innocent look.

"Look, I'm just gonna come out and say it." Puck took a deep breath. "My phone was in my jacket pocket, and now it's gone. I wanna know why."

"I took it to call your Mama last night." Kurt smirked.

"You what?" Puck paled.

"Don't worry. She said you could stay the night, and said for you to call her this morning when you finally got up." Kurt told the other boy as he pulled on his shirt.

"So, you had my phone last night?" Puck asked. "Where was it? I couldn't find it when..."

"When what, Puck?" Kurt said, crossing his arm and tilting his head. Kurt raised an eyebrow as he waited for an answer.

"Nevermind." Puck said, his face going red. "Where's my phone?"

"Kurt, your Dad said to tell you he's heading to work!" Sam called down as the water started running in the kitchen.

"Thank, Babe!" Kurt called back.

"Seriously, Hummel, where's my phone?" Puck said, getting Kurt's attention again.

"Don't worry, I have it right here." Kurt pulled the phone from his pocket.

"Give it here." Puck demanded, holding out his hand.

"Hmmm. I don't know, Puck." Kurt said. "You were saying something about not being able to find it when...?"

"I said, nevermind." Puck said, walking forward to Kurt. Kurt stepped back every time Puck advanced, taking a page out of Sam's book and maneuvering them to his bed.

"Nevermind what?" Puck reached for his phone, but Kurt drew it out of reach.

"None of your business. Give me my phone." Puck grabbed for the phone again, and Kurt took the chance to scramble onto the bed.

Puck grabbed Kurt and pinned him underneath him, sitting on Kurt, much like he did in the locker room at school. Puck tried to catch Kurt's flailing arms so he could capture his phone.

"When couldn't you find this?" Kurt taunted, shoving the phone under his back.

"Come on, grow up, Hummel." Puck growled, fighting to get his hand under Kurt's back, making him lean down to Kurt in the process.

"Was it when you were stumbling around my room at around two thirty this morning?" Kurt whispered in Puck's ear.

"What are you talking about?" Puck said, halting in place.

"Was it when you were frisking me, before I pulled you onto this bed with me?" Kurt went on, goading the boy and pressing his hips up into Puck again. "Before your hand touched me?"

"Wha-how- you were awake?!" Puck said, scrambling off Kurt.

"Oh, yes. And so was Sam." Kurt said, leaning up on the bed, pulling Puck's phone from under him and fiddling with it.

"But-I tried to wake you both. You muttered nonsense!" Puck said.

"It's called 'acting', Puck." Kurt said, sitting upright.

"So, you deliberately made me-"

"Get me off? Oh, yes. Thanks for that." Kurt said, giving a Puck style smirk.

"And Evans just-"

"Let it happen?" Kurt supplied. "Yeah. He trusts me."

"Why would you use me like that?" Puck asked.

"Payback, Puck. For saying I was like a girl, for sitting on me in the locker room. Oh, let's not forget when you said you'd use me to take care of your needs if I was a girl." Kurt listed on his fingers. "It was easy to get you to confess, Puckerman."

"Confess what?" Puck's face filled with dread.

"That you like guys as well as girls." Kurt said, pretending to inspect his nails.

"Okay, so guys DO turn me on. You can't prove it to anyone." Puck said.

"Actually, we can. Got it all on video." Kurt looked up at Puck. "Everything that happened last night, and everything you said. It's recorded on both mine and Sam's phones."

"You're lying." Puck said in disbelief.

"Don't believe me? Okay." Kurt shrugged and stood up. "Sam!"

"Yeah?" Sam called back.

"Text the video we got last night on your phone to Puck's!"

"Okay!" Sam yelled.

A minute later, Puck's phone buzzed.

"Here." Kurt passed the Jewish boy his phone, and Puck hastily opened the video that was sent to him.

"Oh, this is just great. I can't find my damn phone, Hummel's wrapped himself around me like a python, and neither of you will wake up from whatever strange dreams you're having. Could this get any worse?"

Puck heard himself groan in the video.

"And Hummel has a fucking boner. Just great."

Puck groaned, putting his face in his hand as he zoomed through the video.

"I should hate you, Kurt. But I can't."

Puck heard himself sigh.

"I like you. I guess I like guys in general, just as well as girls. Pretty sure of it. I don't know what to do. I don't know any other guys in Lima that are gay, besides you two. And it sucks, especially since I'm dating Santana."

Puck watched himself walk to the couch.

"I don't feel anything for her. I don't feel much since I knocked Quinn up. I'd give anything to feel something again, with either a dude or a chick. And I really need to stop talking to myself, in the dark."

Puck stopped the video.

"You both have this on your phones?" Puck said quietly.

"Yes. We do." Kurt said, sitting beside Puck on the bed.

"So, you gonna send this around to everyone?" Puck asked.

"No. We're not like that." Kurt said. "But, we can help you out."

"How?"

"We know someone who's one hundred percent gay. A friend of mine." Kurt said. "I was thinking of bringing him to the next football game, and you can meet him."

"Seriously?" Puck said, looking at Kurt. "Why would I do that?"

"I could send this video around..." Kurt trailed off.

"You blackmailing me?" Puck said, shocked.

"You'd just have to go on one date with Blaine." Kurt said. "Just one. You have a couple things in common."

"Like what?" Puck said, falling back on the bed.

"You're both in a Glee Club, you play football, and he loves football."

"And we both like guys?" Puck added.

"Yeah, that too." Kurt said. "But I'm sure you'll find more things in common if you got to know Blaine more."

"Do I have a choice here?" Puck asked.

"Just one date." Kurt cajoled.

"Fine. One date." Puck agreed. "You set it up. But make it a double date. You, me, Evans, and Blake."

"Blaine." Kurt corrected.

"Blaine, whatever." Puck replied. "I'm not going alone. Set it up at the 'Stix."

"For after the next game?" Kurt said.

"Fine." Puck nodded.

"You won't regret this." Kurt smiled. "But you will need to break up with Santana."

"Already planned on it." Puck sighed.

"Good. I'll message Blaine later." Kurt said. "When's the next football game?"

"Hallowe'en night, on Friday." Puck said.

"Ooooh, costumes." Kurt clapped.

"Don't even THINK of getting me to wear a costume." Puck said, dialing his Mom and raising the phone to his ear before throwing his arm over his eyes.