Chapter Twenty

For what seemed like forever, Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes gazed into Severus's black ones. Severus, physically and mentally weakened by the attack, felt undone in front of the old man, and he didn't have the energy or the inclination to put up his usual barriers. If Dumbledore was surprised by this, he didn't say so, and no emotion registered on his wrinkled face.

Finally, the headmaster spoke. "Bring him through the Floo, Aberforth."

Severus allowed Aberforth and Lily to help him through the fireplace and into Dumbledore's office back at Hogwarts. They led him to one of the armchairs that sat directly in front of the fireplace, and as Severus was seated, he realized with a start that this was the very chair he had oftentimes occupied when he was a professor and a spy. Countless nights of reporting to Dumbledore, of bearing his soul to the old man, only to feel betrayed in the end...

"Do you need me for anything else, Albus?" Aberforth gruffly asked.

Severus heard Dumbledore's response in the negative. Their voices seemed far away, but the gentle weight of Lily's hand on his shoulder kept him grounded; it felt close and welcome. Aberforth left a minute later, leaving Dumbledore standing in front of Severus. Severus didn't look up to meet his eyes this time.

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore addressed Lily, "are you all right?"

"Physically, yes," she replied. "But Severus-"

"Yes, I know, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said evenly. "I need to talk with Severus. You may go, and please tell Madam Pomfrey that Severus will be along shortly."

Severus cast a half-mustered glare at Dumbledore for being so curt with Lily. He wanted to protest, to demand she be allowed to stay, but after a quick squeeze on the shoulder, Lily walked toward the exit and left.

"How are you feeling, Severus?" queried Dumbledore.

"How do you think I'm feeling, Headmaster?" Severus mumbled. If he had more energy, he could have spoken with more vigor. Instead, he now fixed his eyes on the aged wizard, carefully sizing him up and tracking his every move.

"Are you severely injured from the attack? I can take you to the infirmary should you need it."

"I'm fine," Severus muttered.

"That's a matter of opinion, I'm afraid," Dumbledore said thoughtfully, stroking his beard as he slowly paced.

Severus intently watched him for a couple of minutes, wondering if he would elaborate. When Dumbledore remained silent, Severus questioned impatiently, "What do you want with me, sir? You know what happened."

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, I know what happened, Severus," he said softly, stopping in midstride. "I have seen it all in your mind."

Severus thought as much. He frowned. "So, now that you've successfully invaded my mind, what more is there to say?"

"I am concerned for you, Severus," Dumbledore said firmly.

Unable to help himself because of past hurt, Severus bristled. "Oh? And you've just now noticed? You didn't seem to be concerned last year when Black almost got me killed. You didn't seem to care any of the times Potter and his friends humiliated me in front of countless others."

"I am not talking about the likes of James Potter, Severus," Dumbledore interrupted gravely. "I am referring to your old friends, the very ones who tormented you today. Mulciber will be expelled for using an Unforgivable, of course, but the others will simply be severely punished. I'm concered for you, Severus, because for a long time, I feared you would join them."

"And what if that was the case, sir? Then I suppose you would pride yourself in being right yet again for priding your fellow Gryffindors and for stepping on the Slytherins. You have no idea what I've been through, Headmaster, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"I know some of what has been troubling you, Severus," Dumbledore spoke with that sickening compassion that Severus so loathed. "Your situation at home is bad as well."

Severus, utterly incensed, stood. "How dare you invade my privacy! You took advantage of me in a moment of weakness! What goes on at my home is none of your business. Don't you think I would have told you if I wanted you to know, if I felt I trusted you?"

"Why don't you trust me?" Dumbledore asked benignly.

That was a loaded question. Could Severus really hold his past life's interactions with the old man against him? Now that Dumbledore knew about Eileen, Severus couldn't help but stab back. "If you think you know anything about my situation at home, then why didn't you help your sister?"

He knew it was a low blow. He knew it was risky. But Severus was angry and offended. He wanted out of that room. His eyes were darting around, panicky.

"And how would you know about that?" Dumbledore asked, his voice now laced with aggression. "You overstep your boundaries, young man. Severus, sit down!" Dumbledore bellowed.

Severus froze. He had rarely ever witnessed Dumbledore so enraged, but he was reminded again of how powerful the headmaster was. He could command anyone's attention with his words alone. Relenting, Severus sank into the chair, too tired to care anymore. He buried his face in his hands, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

Dumbledore sighed and took the seat opposite of his young student. "Severus," he said, calm once again, "I don't know what to make of you. It is true that I was worried about your path for a long time... seeing you surrounded by those who were your tormentors today, but I also know you have been good friends with Lily Evans since before you arrived at Hogwarts. I have seen a remarkable change in you this year. Lily's good influence has brought out your better nature. You have stopped being friends with Mulciber and Avery, but it is for the right reason? Have you done this for Miss Evans or because you knew it was the wrong path? You can see why my concern is still valid, can you not? I wonder what your motives are behind all this, Severus. You trust no one. You somehow have learned Occlumency to a level that is beyond what I have ever seen in someone your age. I can understand your shame for wanting to hide what goes on at home, but what else are you hiding, Severus?"

"I told you, sir, that is none of your business," Severus ground out. He pulled his hands away from his face. Having overcome his initial inclination to cry, the hurt was now written in loathing all over his angular face. Severus glared at Dumbledore. "You think you're so noble, don't you? Everyone has their demons. If I had half the skeletons in my closet you do, I could populate a graveyard with them. Yours, Dumbledore, is a battlefield of victims."

Severus was referring, of course, to Dumbledore's past alliance with Grindelwald.

Dumbledore was confused and once again furious. "That will be quite enough, Severus," he stated firmly. "While I am glad you have chosen not to allign yourself with certain individuals, I cannot say I am pleased with your attitude. You will, of course, need to stop by the infirmary and be checked out by Madam Pomfrey to ensure your injuries are properly treated. I will make arrangements about your sleeping situation, as I do not think it wise for you to remain near those boys."

Severus glowered. Dumbledore had given him no reason to trust him. The old man didn't seem concerned about his physical injuries needing to be dealt with first. No, Dumbledore had insisted on talking with him and badgering him for information. No doubt Dumbledore's reasoning behind removing Severus from sharing a dormitory with those junior Death Eaters was more because he didn't trust Severus's judgment enough to be around them and not break into joining them.

"Very well," Severus muttered. "May I go now, sir?"

"You may," Dumbledore replied. "Good afternoon, Severus."

Severus left Dumbledore's office feeling worse than when he had entered. He went to the infirmary, not knowing where else to go. Upon entering, he was almost knocked over by Madam Pomfrey as she came bustling toward him.

"It's about time you arrived, Mr. Snape," she admonished him, leading him to one of the cots. "Lie down and let me have a look at you, then."

The aches from the repeated kicks to his chest, stomach, and back were settling in now, and the effects from the Cruciatus still had his nerves frazzled. Not bothering to argue, Severus complied and lay down on the bed.

The mediwitch tutted as she examined him, shaking her head. Severus was used to her ministrations, both as a child and as an adult. While he would usually refuse to submit to her care right away, she would always win in the end. She was like a stern grandmother who spoke with a little edge in her voice, but her touch was gentle and her manner was kind.

"What did those horrible boys do to you, Mr. Snape?" she asked, clearly appalled. "And why didn't the headmaster send you here right away? I'll be having a word with him after I'm done tending to you, dear."

In spite of himself, Severus smirked. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of one of Poppy Pomfrey's tirades. "I'm sure Lily told you already," Severus replied. "I guess the headmaster felt it more important to find out directly from me what happened first."

"Miss Evans didn't witness your torture, Mr. Snape," Madam Pomfrey countered. She treated the wounds as she spoke. "And next time the headmaster thinks it more important to talk to a student who has just been beaten and cursed, I'll make sure he doesn't live it down for a week. Now, what happened exactly? I need to know so I can properly treat you."

Severus sighed. "Well... they kicked me several times... and then, Mulciber, he- he used the Cruciatus on me, twice."

Madam Pomfrey gasped deeply, nearly dropping the vial she was holding. "My dear child!" she exclaimed, affronted. "And Professor Dumbledore knows this?"

Severus nodded.

Severus imagined Madam Pomfrey was mentally calling Dumbledore all manner of names right now, by the look on her face. She finished what she could for now and said, "Very well. You will need to stay here overnight to be monitored, just in case. It's not everyday that one student suffers from an Unforgivable under the hands of another. I'm going to talk with the headmaster now, Mr. Snape. You had better be right here in this bed when I return."

A part of Severus wanted to ask to go along, for he was dreaming of seeing Madam Pomfrey verbally take Dumbledore down a notch or two. He really was exhausted and sore, though, and he had no desire to return to the Slytherin dormitories or common soon. So, which was a rare case indeed, Severus agreed and leaned back into the pillow, surrendering to sleep.

Just before the mediwitch left the hospital wing, she placed a comforting hand on the young man's arm, murmuring, "You're a brave boy, Severus."

x x x x x

After alerting Madam Pomfrey, Lily wanted badly to see Severus again, but she imagined Dumbledore would still be talking with him. In a little while, she would go to the infirmary and see if he was there.

She went to the Gryffindor common room instead, finding a seat near the fireplace. The warmth of the fire felt comforting and inviting after what had happened outside in Hogsmeade. She hoped those awful boys got their comeuppance. Glaring into the flickering flames, Lily's thoughts roamed back to the moment Severus had pleaded with her to flee. She hated herself for leaving him like that, but she had gotten help. Still, thinking about the situation now, Lily wished she would have stayed and fought.

Then again, she didn't know how she would have handled herself against four Slytherin boys who knew Dark Magic. She didn't know the details yet of what they had done to poor Severus, but the state she had found him in five minutes after leaving him had spoken of unbound fury and torment.

She was glad for the emptiness of the room. Within an hour, most of the students would be returning from Hogsmeade. Sighing, Lily leaned back into the chair and closed her eyes, but she was disturbed a moment later by a voice.

"Lily, are you all right?"

Startled, Lily's lids fluttered open, and she noticed James standing there. Had he just addressed her by her first name?

"Potter?" she asked, confused by what sounded like genuine concern in his voice.

"I heard what happened," he said. His unruly hair was messier than usual, like he'd been running to get back to Hogwarts. The cold had reddened his cheeks and nose.

"Oh, really?" Lily inquired sharply, displeased at how quickly gossip spread. "And what did you hear exactly?"

"That you and Snape were attacked by some Slytherins."

Lily figured those same Slytherins had started the gossip... unless other students had somehow witnessed the fight and not intervened.

"That's right," she said bitterly. "Funny you should only be concerned about me. Severus was the one who was severely injured. I'm fine."

James scowled and dropped into the seat across from Lily. "Well, he shouldn't have been hanging around with that type if he didn't want to get harmed."

"How can you be so cruel, Potter? Severus wasn't 'hanging around with' them. They came to him and hurt him!"

If it wasn't bad enough that James was bothering her, the rest of the Marauders came into the room just then.

"Rough luck, eh, Evans?" Sirius asked. "I heard Snivellus really got what was comin' to him."

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you, Black!" Lily yelled, standing up. "Why can't you lot just leave him alone? Don't you see he's got it bad enough with his own house, let alone with you all picking on him? They attacked him!"

"Whoa, calm down, Lily," Lupin said.

Lily glared from one boy to the other. James was still sitting in the chair, looking stunned. Sirius still had a smug look on his face, and Lily wanted nothing more than to hex it off. Lupin was standing quietly by the portal into the room, and Pettigrew was cowering like his usual self behind him.

"Right," Lily said, more upset than she had been. "If you don't mind, I'm going to the library, and don't you dare follow me."

Lily left the Gryffindor common room before any of them could say a word.

James glared at Sirius. "Did you have to make her even more furious, Padfoot?" he groaned.

"What?" Sirius asked, feigning innocence.

Lupin rolled his eyes and left the common room as well. He was concerned about Lily, and although they didn't talk much, Lupin and she had always gotten along fine. He certainly didn't condone the way his friends treated Severus, but he was too afraid to stand up to them and say anything most of the time. With his condition, he felt lucky to even have friends, and he didn't want to threaten the relationship.

Lily was already several paces ahead when Lupin saw her. He followed her, wondering if she was really going to the library. He had a feeling she was more likely going to the infirmary to visit Severus.

Catching up with her, Lupin called, "Hey, Lily, wait up!"

Lily stopped in her tracks and turned. "Remus, what are you doing?" she questioned, a little annoyed, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Sorry," he huffed, winded. "I just- wanted to apologize for their behavior. What Sirius said was out of line."

"Why don't you tell him that yourself, then?" Lily asked hotly. "Or better yet - why don't you apologize on behalf of your friends to Severus for all the times they've been rotten to him?"

Lupin shifted uneasily. "I, uh... Lily, please. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened to you... and Sn- er, Severus. Even he doesn't deserve that."

"Gee, how gracious of you, Remus," scoffed Lily. "'Even he doesn't deserve that.' No, he most certainly does not. He deserves so much better."

"Well, he doesn't exactly make it easy for anyone other than you to talk to him. He's always so... unpleasant."

"What's the worse Severus would do to you if you didn't threaten him, Remus? Really?"

"He'd sneer at me, most likely."

Lily laughed softly. "Yes, that does sound like him. Listen, Remus... thanks for your concern, but right now, I'd just like to be alone, okay?"

"Okay," Lupin gave in, leaving her in peace.

Lily walked alone for a while, wondering if Dumbledore was done talking with Severus and what the headmaster had said to him. She wished again that she hadn't fled like some sort of a coward. She had known him for a long time. He was her oldest friend, her closest friend, and more than that now. Shuddering at the thought of something horrible happening to him, Lily vowed she would never leave him to fend for himself alone ever again.

After a considerable amount of time, Lily decided to go to the infirmary and see if Severus was there. Sure enough, upon stepping into the room, she found him in bed, sleeping soundly. Taking a seat next to the bed, Lily placed a hand on his arm.

"Never again, Sev, will I leave your side. I love you," she said softly, a tear falling down her cheek, just for him.