Author's Note: First of all, let me say how sorry I truly am for having to kill off Eileen. I'm sure it seems heartless and cruel. I know I would be hating the world right now if I were Severus, and warning: The next few chapters are going to be heavy and dark. This is ultimately important, very important, for the development of Severus's character.

As for how I chose to deal with Severus seeing Eileen like that, you're all right: It wasn't right for a seventeen-year-old to be exposed to that. That is somewhat explained in this chapter. Unfortunately, children are exposed to horrible and cruel things far too often in real life, mostly because of the irresponsibility of adults. Dumbledore is truly not trying to be cruel to Severus, but Severus perceives it that way (not that I blame him).

As for how it was written, it is true enough that people who shouldn't be released from mental facilities are released prematurely too often. This also takes place thirty years ago. Care wasn't as good back then, either. It's a sad but true fact that people do commit suicide when it seems to everyone else that they are getting better. If my dealing with Eileen seems wrong to you, I'm truly sorry. This is a difficult subject to write about, and I'm just trying to do it the way I feel is best for the sake of the story.

Thank you for your readership and reviews. I do hope you'll stick it out and continue reading.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Severus?" came Dumbledore's voice tentatively from the hallway. Then, a loud gasp. "Oh, my!"

In the midst of his misery, the last thing Severus wanted was to be disrupted. He withdrew from his mother's form and glared at Dumbledore. "You stupid old man!" he shouted accusingly. "Get out of here!"

"Severus, please, let me explain," Dumbledore said, his eyes avoiding looking at Eileen's body. "Trust me, if I had known-"

"If you had known what, Dumbledore?" Severus spat harshly, errant tears still leaking from his eyes. "You bring me here and heartlessly tell me to come upstairs to see my mother's, my mother's, body hanging lifelessly from the ceiling? Don't act like you didn't know!"

Bringing out his wand, Severus aimed it at the rope and cut it, then gently levitated Eileen's broken body to the bed. He immediately was at her side, removing the rope from her neck and trying to straighten her out on the bed.

"I didn't know, Severus; I'm sorry," Dumbledore murmured, having the audacity to step into the room. "If I had known she was in such a state, I never would have let you come up here, especially alone."

Severus pointedly ignored the other man, wishing he would go away and leave him in peace to grieve. Refusing to even acknowledge Dumbledore, Severus stared down at his mother and brought his hand to her face, closing her eyes. He nearly hexed Dumbledore the following moment when he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder. Violently shrugging the hand off and recoiling, Severus unsteadily held his wand up and pointed it at Dumbledore.

"Tell me, Dumbledore," he ground out. "Do you enjoy this? Being so cruel? Watching me suffer?"

Dumbledore, for his part, looked stricken. "Severus, you must listen to reason. I know you don't want to hear it, but you deserve the truth. All my men informed me was that they had found her dead. They didn't say what method she used or how they had found her, only that her body... was upstairs. I should have checked for myself, but I just assumed it was by magical means that Eileen had..." Dumbledore swallowed, still refusing to look at Eileen. His blue eyes travelled to the window, and he continued, "All I know from the past few days is that she seemed to be doing well enough to function on her own. I had been meaning to let you know, and unfortunately, it was too late when I found out the horrible news a couple of hours ago, but you must know that I would never deliberately do this to hurt you."

Severus was only half-listening to Dumbledore's empty words, or at least that is what they felt like. No amount of explanation was sufficient. No words could bring Eileen back.

"Then I guess you should have told me sooner," Severus spat, "that you knew she was back. It must not have been that important to you, but then again, you don't value me any more than any other Gryffindor values me, besides Lily. Go away, Dumbledore," Severus said, his voice wavering with exhaustion over the extreme emotion he had just endured. "At least grant me this one wish, and leave me in peace to bury my mother."

Dumbledore stepped away, knowing the damage was done and couldn't be repaired. He could have gone into lengthy explanations about the duties of being headmaster and his involvement in the war against Voldemort, but as Dumbledore looked upon this young son grieving over his mother, he couldn't blame him for hating him. All Dumbledore could do was offer his condolences and ask, "Is there anything you need? Anything at all?"

Severus refused to meet Dumbledore's gaze. My mother back, he wanted to say, but instead he said, "Tell Lily."

"Of course," Dumbledore replied quietly. "And you will be excused from school for the next week, of course. I will explain the circumstances to your teachers, and arrangements have already been made to take care of your mother."

Severus didn't have the energy to protest. If Dumbledore hadn't called on the necessary people to take Eileen's body away and prepare it for the funeral, Severus would have done it, but to Dumbledore, Severus was a seventeen-year-old boy without parents. It was probably the only sensible thing Dumbledore had thought to do for him.

Dumbledore left, and within the hour, Eileen's body was removed from the house. Severus remained in her room, too drained to cry, to feel anything but numbness. He eventually fell asleep on the bed in the same spot where Eileen's body had lain earlier. All thoughts of why all this happened would have to wait until Severus could think reasonably again.

x x x x x

Severus refused to leave his mother's room, with the exception of bathroom trips. He felt the need to somehow punish himself in what he saw as his failing in saving his mother this time around. He was somewhere between sleeping and waking when he heard the only welcoming voice he would allow.

"Sev?" Lily's gentle voice asked. He felt his hair brushed aside from his forehead, and as Severus opened his eyes, he found himself gazing directly into Lily's green orbs.

"Lily," he croaked.

"Dumbledore told me," she said softly. "I'm so sorry, Sev." She sniffed, and a couple of tears fell down her rosy cheeks.

Severus pushed himself up in the bed into a sitting position and patted the edge of the bed, inviting Lily to sit next to him. The moment she did, he crushed her in a tight embrace and soundlessly cried into her shoulder. Lily wrapped her arms around his trembling, thin form and held him, not saying anything, but still saying everything.

After some time, Severus released his hold on her enough to look into her face. "I didn't expect you to come," he said softly, moved beyond words that she was here.

"Of course I came," Lily said, her tone booking no argument. "I wanted to come the moment he told me, but I had to finish classes today. Stupid rules," Lily groused.

Severus couldn't help but smile slightly at her last words. Classes seemed so unimportant right now, but to be reminded that life still went on was somehow reassuring.

Just then, Severus and Lily heard a noise downstairs, causing both of them to jump. Severus stood, holding his wand out. "Lily, stay up here," he hissed. He inched toward the door.

"No way," Lily hissed back. "I'm not leaving you alone again, Sev."

He didn't protest, but focused on listening for another sound from below. Suddenly, a matronly voice called, "Mr. Snape, are you home?"

"Holy shit," Severus said between bared teeth, having almost shouted in shock. "It's Madam Pomfrey," he whispered to Lily. "Although, I'm pretty sure it is." Not foolish enough to risk going downstairs unarmed, Severus made his way to the top of the steps and looked down. Madam Pomfrey was brushing soot off her clothes and bustling around the house downstairs.

"Severus?" she called.

"Oh, bloody hell," Severus muttered, rolling his eyes. "Madam Pomfrey!" he replied. "What are you doing here?"

Madam Pomfrey visibly jumped and stopped moving, staring up the steps, seeing Severus standing there, and just behind him, Lily. "There are you," she said kindly. "The headmaster told me what had happened and thought you might appreciate someone to talk to who was a little, erm, older. I see you've got Miss Evans with you already, child, but after what you've suffered, I volunteered to be the one to come check up on you."

Well, this is surprising, Severus thought. Unlike last time when he had been completely alone to grieve for his mother, he now had two people visiting him, people who obviously cared about him. Having recovered enough from his earlier emotional outburst upon Lily's arrival, Severus went down the stairs and greeted Madam Pomfrey. Lily followed.

"You didn't have to come," he said awkwardly. He wasn't used to feeling touched or gracious, nor did Severus know how to properly thank most people.

"Nonsense, child," Madam Pomfrey said endearingly.

Severus didn't mind being referred to as "child" by the older woman. Unlike Dumbledore, he trusted her enough to know that she had his best interests at heart. Severus still wasn't convinced by Dumbledore's empty apologies and explanation from yesterday.

Madam Pomfrey hugged him briefly, even though Severus only delicately patted her on the back once in return. "How are you holding up?" she asked once she had released him.

"Fine," Severus said shortly.

"You're a bad liar," Madam Pomfrey said gently. "No one would be fine after losing their mother like that."

Severus nodded, not wanting to argue. He wondered if Madam Pomfrey would say anything further about Dumbledore's excuses for his seeming lack of tact, but she didn't. All she did was express, on behalf of the staff, their condolences and that he was, of course, excused from any homework he missed during that upcoming week. Severus thought it odd that Madam Pomfrey was taking on the role that either Dumbledore or his head of house, Slughorn, should have. What value would Slughorn find in an orphaned boy disliked by the general population of Hogwarts, though? And Severus already felt he knew what value Dumbledore placed on his life.

Madam Pomfrey visited with the two teenagers for the next couple of hours, pointedly refusing to allow Severus to even serve her tea. Instead, she took on the role of hostess and made the tea and even prepared a small meal for them, muttering the whole time about how Severus was already too thin and needed to take better care of himself.

When the matron finally left, Severus was in Lily's sweet company once again. She made a fire, and they sat in the sitting room as it grew dark.

"I suppose everyone in the whole school knows what happened now?" Severus implored bitterly.

Lily nodded sadly. "Yes, but not the details. Maybe you won't believe this, Sev, but Remus wanted me to tell you he was sorry to hear about your mother. Even Potter looked shocked by the news and didn't make any rude comments."

Snorting, Severus muttered, "How kind of them."

"Sev," Lily said witheringly, "I'm only trying to help. There's nothing I can say to change what happened, but-"

"No, Lily, you're right," Severus cut in. "There's nothing you can say, so don't bother."

Since Severus was through crying and had moved on to moodiness, Lily knew she had to thread carefully. His brash responses might sting, but Lily knew him better than to think he was trying to hurt her intentionally. She saw a stricken and wounded boy when she looked at Severus, and she didn't blame him in the least for lashing out. Lily remained quiet and only held him closer. She would make sure he knew she wasn't going anywhere, now or ever.

x x x x x

The day of the funeral was an early April day, and it was still quite cold outside. The trees were mostly bare, but a couple of them were showing signs of new life. Few people attended the funeral. Severus sat next to Lily, staring blankly ahead, past the casket, the whole time, not listening to the hollow words uttered by a Ministry official who didn't even know Eileen. Lily's mother and father sat right behind them, the only Muggles there. Severus hadn't seen his father.

After the funeral, Severus purposefully walked away from the small crowd gathered near the freshly dug grave. He didn't want to receive their false condolences, or at least that was what he felt they were. Even Lily's company seemed to fall short of bringing him comfort right now. In the past couple of days, Severus had forced away all the emotions he had initially felt. Being closed and unfeeling was easier than being so vulnerable. Caring too much only set a person up to be burned and hurt. With the loss of his dear mother, Severus had lost his willingness to care.

And so, he found he didn't care with the same level of vehemence he might have felt otherwise when he noticed his father standing near a tree some distance away. He was about to walk on, pretending he hadn't noticed the other man, but Tobias pursued his son.

"Severus," Tobias stated. For once, his words weren't slurred.

"Stopped drinking just in time for the funeral, have you?" Severus retorted, glaring at his father.

"Severus, listen to me," Tobias implored. "I never- It shouldn't have happened this way."

"Go away, Father," Severus sighed, sounding plain exhausted.

"Severus, wait!" Tobias called after him. "Won't you at least give me a chance to explain? You told me last time I spoke with you that you'd at least talk to me if I sobered up."

Severus paused and turned, not sure why he was giving his father this much. The man was undeserving of an inch of understanding. As Severus took in his father, he noticed that he was not only sober, but he was cleaned up. His clothes were secondhand, no doubt, but they weren't ratty and torn like before. Tobias's hair was clean, and he lacked the stubble on his face that had been there previously.

"Well?" Severus asked impatiently, folding his arms over his chest.

"I did what you asked of me, Severus. I got help. I haven't had a drink in over a month. I got a job again. I have a place to live. I understand that you don't want me back in the house, not... not after everything that's happened. I have to tell you- I saw Eileen just two days before she, before she..." he trailed off, and Severus frowned. Why was his father sounding like he was choked up? The bastard had no right to grieve, not after what he had done to his wife all those years! Then, he was talking again. "I tried to talk to her. I- I begged her to let me come home, if only to see the house and her one last time, and I'd leave her and you alone forever, but she only screamed and disappeared, literally, in thin air, in front of me."

Severus's eyes bulged. "Mum did m-magic?" he stammered.

"Apparently," Tobias muttered. "Anyway, when I read in the paper the other day... oh, Severus, I'm sorry. I never meant for it to get this out of hand."

"What do you want from me, Father?" Severus spat hatefully. "Forgiveness? Compassion? It's too late for that now. You know you're the reason she went mental. Now, you have to live with that. Surely you didn't think you'd come here today, expecting to find me weak and lacking for a parental figure and that I'd welcome you back with open arms, did you?"

"As much as I hoped... one day..." Tobias trailed off, shaking his head sadly. "I do regret it... all of it, Severus. You don't have to like me. You can hate me, in fact, but I hope one day you will believe me. I did once know how to love your mother."

"That time has long since passed, Father," Severus muttered. "It would seem... we've both really fucked up. We're damned men, you and I. Drink to that, Father, when you stumble into the next pub after finishing talking with me today. Long live pathetic excuses of men, father and son."

Severus didn't look back as he left Tobias standing there, but neither did Tobias go after his lost son. Tobias knew Severus was right.

They were damned.